12.29.2008

Its kinda slow this time of year...

and I've been surfing the world wide web. A lot. I've seen things I shouldn't have and I've shared them with others. But the other day I came across this jpeg of Erick Lindgren's senior year picture.



Needless to say, it looks like Erick chose to forgo the thespian route.

JDN

12.21.2008

I hate christmas..

but this is kinda funny. Staring yours truly, Jeremiah Smith, Layne Flack, Gavin Smith, and a monkey.



Happy Holidays from Poker WTF!

12.16.2008

Weekend Activities in North Hollywood (Updated with video link)

Hi everyone, normally this blog is about poker tournaments, bust outs, bad beats, sick Asian gamblers, JDN not being able to muck bottom pair etc. Well not tonight, LA Mike is really emotional right now. I just found out that I missed the secret show that The Cure played in Hollywood on Saturday night. Wtf, I run so damn bad. 3 f'n hours of The Cure in a tiny, standing room only venue. My Christmas was just ruined...GG life.

But I have a special Christmas/Hanukkah present for anyone who has had the pleasure of being seated at a poker table with 'Hollywood' Dan errr Dave. Chances are the blackjack pro turned poker wannabe has berated you at the table whether it be online or live. Well, 'Hollywood' won a tourney online and wanted to celebrate in style. It's fairly well known, I hate partaking in cocktails but what was I to do? He wanted to celebrate his win! So myself, Melissa and Dom who I was hanging out with, hit the streets during Winter Storm '08 even though it was already like 1:15am. By the way, I've never seen the news blow a little bit of rain so much out of proportion.

Being that we live in LA and the bars close at the stupid hour of 2am, (you can't buy alcohol from the store past 2am either) we were only able to get 2 drinks in so we had to take the celebration to a residence.

Combining that you can't buy alcohol past 2am and that the private residence is occupied by Melissa, well lets just say she really likes alcohol. In fact, the night before she downed an entire bottle of Grey Goose so we knew the alcohol supply was pretty low. On hand, we had some beer, a big bottle of champagne and some peppermint schnapps. That was all. Brutal beat! We so weren't prepared for this impromptu HD celebration.

Time to improvise. Melissa and I spot a homeless man who had just purchased a bottle of vodka outside a store. Thankfully, he hadn't dug into it yet (as I'm super OCD and a germ-o-phobe). We pull up next to him and offer him cash for the bottle. Seems like a good deal for everyone especially since he told us he just got out of jail the previous day. I ask how much he paid for it, he says like $20. I offer him $40...which actually ended up being $38 or $39 but whatever. We score the bottle and I proceed to pour him some vodka into his juice bottle. We bolt toward Melissa's place, score one for the good guys!

The four of us proceed to polish off some of the alcohol and random prop betting ensues. Believe it or not, 'Hollywood' brought up being tased and low and behold, Melissa happens to own a taser. I mean, why wouldn't she right? After about an hour of deliberation, Melissa charged up the taser and it was going to be aimed at 'Hollywood'. This video was apparently taken at the scene. It is not intended for a youth audience but more so for peeps who have been berated by 'HD' at the tables over the years!

One other thing I wanted to add in this blog was something I saw on the very popular craigslist. It was an entry titled "Professional Witness". I personally found it absolutely hilarious. Check it out at http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/lgs/958055676.html

Happy Holidays to all...Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Quanza etc... and a very safe New Year!

Video update: For some reason the video won't upload but I've provided the next best thing. Here's a link to the video. Remember, this is a rather disgusting sight and shouldn't be viewed by kids or anyone with a faint heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9InCBih1opw

12.15.2008

Bellagio 5 Diamond day 2

Woke up this morning and it was snowing. Yes. Snowing in Las Vegas. On Dec. 15. Global warming my ass.

Knew I would see this today.



Table 64 seat 7
(that's the table on the stage)

Table draw... Good god

Seat 1: Ralph Perry
Seat 2: Internet kid who shops at urban outfitters. He's wearing a "It's good to be gangsta" hoodie.
Seat 3: Devon Porter, him again.
Seat 4: Doyle Brunson
Seat 5: Carlos Mortensen
Seat 6: younger Asian guy that I recgonize
Seat 7: JDN
Seat 8: Eric Cajelais or Eric Casualgay as Roland de Wolfe calls him.
Seat 9: random Asian guy

Jeebus. How do I play this table? I guess I either play crazy tight or crazy crazy. We'll how this first level goes before I make that decision.

Devon porter is starting to look a little like Roland de Wolfe.

Clonie Gowen and Howard Lederer are at the same table. Ohhhh I wish my table would break and I could move there.

Seat 9 busts when Carlos runner runners a flush on him. The failed musician from day 1 takes his seat.

Carlos is taking over the table. I sooo happy I'm on his left. Not that it would matter with the cards I'm getting.

38,400 at break. Completely card dead.

Special shout out to BJ Nemeth for letting charge my iPod during break.

The failed musician gets he kings cracked by Devon's 88. Haha. Payback is a bitch mofo!

With blinds at 500/1000 with a 100 ante, I look down at 55 under the gun and raise it to 3000. Doyle calls from the button. The flop falls 9h 8h 4s. I bet out 5000 think that he's got two overs and I could pick this pot up, even though I missed the set for at least the 30th time in a row. Doyle calls. Opps.

The turn is the Qd. I bet out quickly, throwing 11,000 out. Hope he doesn't have a queen. He folds. Sweet! That's the second hand I've won today. Back up 41k.

The very next hand, Eric Casualgay limps under the gun. Doyle, Carlos, and the small blind call. I check the option with 67. The flop comes 6 5 4. I likely. Check check, Eric bets 4k. Here comes my check raise... but the small blind calls. Arrgh. I just call. The turn is a 2. Small blind checks and I bet out 7500.

Now this is where I decided to move in if I get raised. Eric thinks about it for a while. He's shrugging his shoulders, counting out his chips, even thing picking up the cards like he's going to fold. He does that twice. Odd. He finally raises to about 22k, I didn't even bother to look really. As long as the small blind folds I'm going to snap move in. Small blind folds.

"All in."

Out of the corner of my eye I see Eric roll his eyes. Then he counts out his chips, calls, and asks if I got the nuts. I love when people call an all in and think they're losing. Now if I could just have a winning hand. One time.

He shows 33 for the 6 high straight. Ok. He took away two of my outs. I orginally thought he had an over pair or AsKs. The turn would have given him a flush draw. Obv, I was effected by that check raise bluff from Vancouver. Still got six outs.

The river is a red jack. GG.

This is only hand during the whole tournament where I was in the position to suck out and I didn't get there. WTF?

JDN

12.14.2008

Bellagio Doyle something Diamond something 15K

I planned to arrive a few minutes late but I forgot that the bellagio's clocks are 10 minutes slow, so I arrived 20 minutes early. Go figure.

I lose 3100 preflop to Dan Shak. It was folded to me on the button. After standard raise to 300 with QQ, Dan raises to 1300. Hmmm. I'm not sure how he plays, but he could probably do that with a lot of hands.

I reraise to 3100 and he rereraises to 8100. So poor. I look down at his ipod and he's listening to ABBA. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is. I fold my queens face up and he shows kings. Pfffft!

Table draw:

Table 56 seat 6


Seat 1: rwg with a leather jacket. He looks like a failed musician.
Seat 2: rowg with a hat that says "GIBO" on it. I not going to assume the OBV and say that he's just a big fan of gibbons and ran out of money and or space on the hat to write the full word out.
Seat 3: massive white dude with an Oklahoma hoodie on. Wow. They grow them big in the cowboy state. He totally could play the Blob in the new Wolverine movie.
Seat 4: Jon "pearljammer" Turner. A ginger.
Seat 5: rwg. Probably an accountant.
Seat 6: jdn
Seat 7: Dan "my wife has giant boobs" Shak
Seat 8: rywg definitely and Internet nerd
Seat 9: rwg trying to be euro. Fail!
Seat 10: I think it's Devon Porter. He's wearing FTP and cardrunners gear. So he could be any of those guy. Maybe he's Cole Trickle.

In middle position I raise to 300 with AQ and get called by Internet kid in seat 8 and pearljammer in seat 4. The flop comes Q Q 5. Check, check, 525 from seat 8 and a call from pearl. Really?

After a moment of thought I raise to 1200. Seat 8 folds and pearl reraises to 3000. Wait what?

There's no way I'm folding this hand and if he's got 55, so be it. I'm just going to call him down. So I call.

The turn is a 4 and he bets 3600. I quickly call. After a 9 on the river, he checks it to me. Wait what?

I'm confused. I decide to play it safe and not give him the option to check raise me. I check. Pearljammer says nice hand and mucks. Sweet!

Our dealer Janet looks like she's from DragonBall Z. She not afraid to use hair gel for effect.

47825 at break. That's good

Big hand (that I avoid)! Pearljammer raises to 525, seat 5 makes it 1750. I look down a two black nines. Screw it. I fold. Seat 8, turns out to be Coby Slowball or something reraises to 4600. Seat 10, now confirmed as Devin Porter, rereraises to 16000. Holy moley!

Pearl throws it away pretty quick and seat 5 thinks about it for a few before mucking.

Coby rerereraises to something and Devon moves in. Coby calls and shows KK. Devon shows AA. Aiyeah.

Seat 5 tells Coby that he had kings too. Seat 9 says he fold QQ. Wow. The board runs out 4 8 8 9 6. Fuck.

Coby out and replaced by a rag. SAG rating tbd.

Confirmed SAG. He raised under the gun blind and called a flop bet blind.

$44,950 at break. I'm doing it wrong! But I made my 2nd 2nd break in a row.

The SAG is outta control. He's played 5 hands straight blind. And he's winning!

Card dead.

I can hear "I wanna make love in this club" on Dan Shak's headphones. I'm wearing my headphones to boot. How is he not deaf?

Completely fucking card dead the whole level until the last hand.

Super sag in seat 8 blind limps under the gun and failed musician in seat 1 raises to 800. In the small blind I look down at KdKc. I reraise to 2100.

Super sag folds, amazing, and failure boy calls. The flops comes Ac Qd Jc. I bet 4100. He calls. The turn is the jack of diamonds. Check check. He's gotta have AK right? The river is the Tc. I got a straight but the board is paired and there is a flush out there too. Check check. Cool we chop.

I show my kings and shows his 5c6c. Sweet titty fucker!? Did he not see me play a hand the whole level? Go back to your bankrupt recording studio.

$32,100 at 3rd break. That means it's Heineken time.

Still got about 80 big blinds. No need to panic but I'll order Heineken #2.

On the table behind me I just heard Doyle say, "He looks like a Jew to me." Completely out of context, it made me laugh.

Table break!


Table redraw:

Table 60 seat 10 (I hate seat 10)

Seat 1: Gibo from the other table
Seat 2: super sag from the other table
Seat 3: random Indian guy
Seat 4: random euro with a mini fan at the table.
Seat 5: rwg
Seat 6: Shane Schleger
Seat 7: random Aussie
Seat 8: john phan
Seat 9: john smith, yes that his real name. He's an old white guy with an uncreative name that's been on the tournament circuit for years.
Seat 10: JDN

As soon as I sit down john phan orders me another Heineken as well as 1 for himself and john smith.

The random Aussie is harry demetriou, jeremiah smith arch nemesis. Not sure if he's actually Aussie though.

Seat 10 + Heineken = success. I've won a couple of smallish pot with timed bets and gotten back up to 42k.

Down 37k and I'm getting kinda bored. I look down at two black 7s and raise it to 1675. Super sag, who's calmed down since moving to this table, calls. The flop falls Qs 2s 4d. I bet 2500. He calls.

The turn is something smallish that's not a spade. I bet 3600. He calls.

The river something else that's not a spade. I bet 7000. He folds. I muck 77. Sweet.

Fuck. Thinking about it, I think the flop was Qs 9h 2h. I was fading hearts. Not spades. Either way I played it the same.

Anywoot. I make it to day 2 with $45,700. 7 1/2 hours to make 700. In tournament chips. Bitchen'.

JDN

12.11.2008

Bellagio super sat

I normally don't do reports on sats (even though I should because it's the only thing I can constantly win at and bring less fail to this blog), but since this turned out to be a star studded event, it gets a write up.

Making short appearance in seat 1 was James Van Alstyne, JVA if you will.

Tony Cousineau is in seat 3 and the lovely Jennifer Tilly is in seat 7.

JVA dumps all his chips to Ms Tilly in a poorly timed continuation bluff.

The old lady in seat 2 is playing limit hold'em and I can't help but call if I'm in a hand with her.

Barry Greenstein is playing. Huh? This recession is a bitch.

I get Tony to lay down kings on a jack high flop. I show him queens. Snap.

In all honestly, which this game is all about, he might as well just have given me his chips. In the 3 way pot he tanked it after my flop bet. He said something about having kings before he made the crying call.

The turn put useless card on the board and he folded his hand face up. If you're going to make it that easy... We can do this all day.

I lose half my stack to seat 8 on a A J A 7 4 board with my AT vs his AJ. He had a big verbal tell when announced his check on the turn. I knew he had an ace but I thought I had him out kicked because he limped preflop.

1325 at break. Well... It's amazing that I actually made a break at the Bellagio but I stayed alive too long to make it to the Caesars 3pm. Bah!

I move in with A4 twice and don't get called. That's a first.

I double up with KT vs the A9 of seat 8 when a king hits the river. Sweet!

Roy Winston moves into Jennifer Tilly's seat after she ran into a flopped straight.

So, the payouts were posted (remember this is a satellite) and 18 places get seats. 19th place gets cash. $15. Yes. A $15 payout in a $1500 tournament. The tilt! Can you imagine?

I swear right now, if I get 19th, I'm dropping a deuce in the Bellagio lake.

I double up again with KJ vs 55 on flop of Q Q Q. Aiyeah. Don't worry, I get there and on the river no less. 3500.

I double yet again with AK vs QQ. A king on the flop and an ace on the turn seal the deal and I got 8k.

I punish Tony and seat 8 some more and get up to 17k. Blinds are at 300/600 with a 50 ante.

The old lady in seat 2 is missing the end of her right pinky. She could be yakuza. I will proceed with caution.

Yeeeeah boy! Made my first 2nd break at Bellagio. On the way out I make eye contact with David benyamine.

...

$16425 at break.

Here's an interesting hand. In a satellite! Crazy Russian (at least the 3rd one I've seen at this table (and Allen Kesslar doesn't seem so crazy)) raises my big blind to 2400 and I call from the with KJ off.

The flop falls 9 J 6. I think about what I should do and the CR bets 3500. WTF? The dealer burns... Whoa whoa whoa! I tell the dealer to call the floor. This guy has bet outta turn the last 3 hands he played.

This puts him on super steam. It's the cold war all over again. He's got shit and I know it. He didn't even count the chips out before he bets. After Tang (the tournament director for you non-Bellagio peeps) gives him a warning, I ask for a count. He can't even bother to count them all and says 15,000. He's got more than that.

I think a little more, letting the steam sink in a bit, before asking the dealer what the rules is. As he explains it, and I know what it is, I watch the CR as steam starts spewing out his ears.

How can I get all his chips? I think if I check raise after all this, he folds. If I bets what he bet, he folds. If I shove... If I shove he might call on accord of him being a CR. Hmmmmm.

"I'm all in." I announce. He snap calls. Oops. He shows KQ. Yeeeeah boy!

Blank blank and I'm up to 40K.

3 hands later Chad Layne (or Moore I can't remember) raises under the gun and old yakuza lady moves in. I look down at two black aces. I call. Chad whatshisname folds and she shows AQ. Sweet.

65Kish. I don't feel like counting.

With 26 players left the table breaks and I get moved to table 59. Ericka Schoenberg is in seat 6, Barry Greenstein is in seat 8, and Roy Winston is in seat 10. This table really adds to SEO value.

Roy Winston is telling stories about Allen Kesslar but he keeps calling him Allen Cunningham.

I ask Barry if he's ever played a tournament with a $15 payout. And Barry being Barry says yes, "A $3 rebuy on Stars." Everyone is a comedian.

65Kish at break.

I made $15 at video poker during the break, plus a free beer, and when I cashed out, the machine gave me a $100 bill and 15 dollar bills. WTF? I'm not playing a hand in this sat again.

Down to 19. Guaranteed $15. Sweet.

Winner winner chicken dinner.

Dunno what day I'm playing yet.

Update coming on Saturday. I'm thinking about sitting out day 1 to make day 2.

JDN

12.04.2008

Bellagio 2K

The bellagio's clocks seem to be 10 minutes slow. So I spend that time discussing the pros and cons of the pirate vs ninja debate with Brian Devonshire and Tiffany Michelle. I'm a ninjaman myself where as they're pirate peeps.

Table 48 Seat 1
(I hate seat 1)

6K in chips to start with hour levels. I likey.

Table draw:

Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: rwg drinking an O'douls
Seat 3: random skinny white guy with a Bengals hat. That's pretty much means he a masochist. He also kinda looks like a healthy Darrel Dicken.
Seat 4: rwg whose jowls jiggle when he's nervous.
Seat 5: rwg
Seat 6: rwg with a mercedes hat on. I would bet that he doesn't own a mercedes. Judging by his play, there's no way he has one. He skipped the chapter on betting and pretty much just throws two over sized chips out whenever he bets.
Seat 7: rwg
Seat 8: rwg with a saftey orange colored hat on. I saw him talking to Alex Jacob in the registration line so I will assume that he's got some game because "The Fro" doesn't associate with donks.
Seat 9: rowg. I've played with him before but I can't remember if he's any good. Probably not.

It's pretty rare to play a bellagio tourney and not know anyone at my table.

My read on the mercedes guy was right on. He busts 25 mins into the first level. Oops. He's replaced by Can Kim Hua.

Now there's a familiar face and I can just imagine that's he's gonna come out firing. Aaaaand he does.

It cost him half his stack in his first orbit to the kid in the orange hat. Double good read on my part.

Still in the first level with blinds at 25/50, the old broham in seat 9 limps in earlish position. I looked down at 22 and throw my 50 in. It's called by a couple other guys too.

The flop falls A 2 5. The old dude leads out and I briefly consider raising before just calling. Everyone else get out of the way and I call again on the Q turn.

I really put him on A5 here. He would raise with a AT or higher and don't think he's going to limp with AA or AK. The possibility of 55 comes up but I quickly dismiss it because set under set doesn't happen that often.

The river is a T and be bets 1K. It's immpossible for him to have KJ here so I raise him to 2500. He quickly calls and shows 55. G'damn!! That was my first live flopped set in at least a month.

Lucky for me he's one of those old guys that always thinks he's beat and he didn't reraise me.

Can Kim Hua bust shortly there after and he's replaced by fuckwit. The first thing fuckwit says is that he cracks Allen Kesslar's aces with 7s. Now how bad of a player do you have to be if you call Allen's all in preflop with 7s? Pretty damn bad.

3250 going into the second level.

Fuckwit keeps things moving at the table by raising the first 7 hands he saw. I saw him limp under the gun with T2 and raise early with 86. So basically he's never seen a hand he didn't like.

Sooooo I'm on the big blind and seat 5 limps, fuckwit raises to 400 and gets call by the old guy in seat 9, myself and seat 5. I've got 4d4s. The flop comes 2h 5s 8h. Check check check and fuckwit bets 1K. Old dude folds and I push in for a hair less than 4K. Seat 5 thinks about it for a while, probably with the best hand, before folding. Fuckwit counts out the chips and says, "I feel lucky." Fuuuuuuck. He's got a 5. I show my 44 and he shows 45. Bah!

I hate the Bellagio.

JDN