WSOP Main Event

Amazon red table 22 seat 9

I arrive a few minutes late, miss a few hands, and promptly throw away all of the freebies which include a everest poker seat cushion, a card protector, and some gamma-o thingy.

Table draw:
Seat 1: SAG alert!!! Awwoooooga! I've already seen him min raise bluff to 5k on the river with 9 high.
Seat 2: big guy in a hoodie and sunglasses with gamma-o stickers all over. He looks like he ate all the gamma-o he could find. I wonder if he's all roiding out under that hoodie.
Seat 3: semi sag guy that i've played with at the bike before. Odds are that he's a tran, phan, or pham.
Seat 4: canadian guy that I recognize but I don't know his name. Likes to talk about humping fat girls.
Seat 5: rwg
Seat 6: rwg
Seat 7: rwg
Seat 8: rwg
Seat 9: jdn

I make pretty good lay down in the first level. Late position raises to 300 I call from the small blind with TT. The big blind (the SAG) raises to 1k. Other folds and I call. The flops comes 2 6 6. I check and the sag bets 2k. I think it over a few seconds, while he stares me down. Haven't seen him do that to anyone else. I guess he's strong. I fold my tens face up and he shows QQ. Yay for me and my good read. Even though its pretty standard.

Nobody except the SAG can fire more than one barrel at a pot. Love this table.

19.5 k at break.

There's a guy at table 17 with a giant plush penguin. I wonder if those are good eats.

I have AK suited twice in 3 hands and lose 3500. Pretty sure I call all but 500 of it off.

Seat 2 turns out to be jbags. I guess thats supposed to mean something. These kids and their internets.

18k at 2nd break. Pretty card dead or at least I'm not hitting flops.

With blinds at 150/300 I make it 900 to go with AQ. The chubby chaser in seat 2 calls from the big blind and the flops falls 7c Qd 3d. He checks I bet 1300 and he calls. The turn is the 7s. He checks pretty fast and I suspect a possible check raise. Let's see what the river brings and I'll make a decision there. The river is a 2h. He checks again. I'm goot! So I bet out 2200. He counts his stack out, puts his hand on his head, and let's out a big sigh. I'm golden.

He finally calls the 2200 with jacks. Ok so, he may have played the hand semi bad but it wasn't that big of a pot and he still has a bunch of chips. So when freaks out, it comes as a surprise. He stands up flails his arms and stomps off like a 4 year old.

When he finally comes back to the table he knocks over his coffee. I'm dying on the inside as he's slamming his chips down and wiping up the coffee.

I mean really? Over that hand? This guy definitely has implied tilt odds when he's in pots. Yum yum.

To his credit he apologizes to me at break.

I'm setting up the SAG in seat 1 for a big check raise. He basically bets the pot any time its checked to him. Either this will be a huge success or an epic failure.

17400 at dinner. Nap time!

I hate the masquerade in the sky. Thats a promotion that needs to end.

Looks like I'm gonna have to start manufacturing hands. I fire two bullets on an A 9 6 Q board with 77 to chip up to 22k. Gotta do work son.

I think I caught something from my nap in my room at the rio. The whole right side of my face is a giant hive. It must be from the pillows. Quick! Someone get me some of that pink stuff thats not for diarrhea.

Doug lee is the only man man enough in the amazon room to get a massage from a man.

Setting up the SAG:

He raises to 1k under the gun and it folds to me in the big. Of course I have to call with Jc9c. I'm putting him on a pretty big range of hands but most likely an AT or KQ, maybe a small pair.

The flop comes 5h Js 6h and I bet 1500. Be looks at his cards before calling. Hes got at least one heart. The turn is a 8h. I check and he bets out 3500. Now... I think about it but I don't take too long to call.

The river is a 4d and I check with the intention of calling anything. He checks. Wuss. Where's my SAG?!? Jack is goot. Ship the pot.

When the phan, pham, or tran in seat 3 busts he gets replaced by a giant swede. Viking big. He raises my big blind and I look down at Ac8c. I can't call. He might stab me with his sword or battle axe. They should have weight classes in poker.

Pretty sure I got 32k at last break. Layne, Pete Lawson and I make b-line to the ibar to get mango tangos. I even make it back in time.

Pretty sure our dealer is Bill Chen. Waiting for confirmation.

I'm on a small roller coaster as the table breaks. I have 27k with about 20 mins left in the day. Needless to say I don't survive even after my first hand at the new table is AA.

Last hand of the night. Bags are being handed out and people are standing up. Under the gun limps for 400 as its folded to me in middle position. I raise to 1600 with K7. My thinking here is that a lot of people will just fold this hand because the day is done. I'll probably get the blinds, antes, and the limper's chips with this raise.

Well the limper calls and on a flop of 7d 3s 4d he tells me that its a horrible flop for me. He tells me several times before shoving all in for 35k. Into a 3k pot! He's gotta have AK here. I call off my 25k.

He shows Ad 8d and with a 2d on the turn, I'm drawing dead.

Shenanigans

JDN

World Series of Roshambo

I've played the WSOR each year for the past 4. The first year, I got pwned by Rafe Furst on ESPN.

In 2006 I slapped Shrunk (I was actually supposed to play Matusow but he pulled out due to crazy) when I beat him in the 1st round and lost to Jim Worth in the 2nd.

Shronk Catches a Hot One at 3:15 in.

Last year... I don't remember what happened last year. It was at Phil Gordon's WSOP party and I lost in the first round to someone. I was probably on a lot of drugs.

This year I went into it being able to pick my first opponent due to Phil Gordon's shoddy organization. I decided to take on one Roland de Wolfe. Now, I've played Chinese poker with Roland and I know that his strategy in these types of games is severely lacking. Let's get it on!

I snap Roland off in the first to 5 with a 5 - 3 score. Take that you white shoe wearing euro!

In the second round I draw a RWG and in the first to 7 round, he gets me down 4 - 1. Never fear, I stage an unfamiliar comeback and beat him 7 - 5.

In the 3rd round we have a threesome. A player has to lose twice, once to each player, to get eliminated. I draw Mark Vos and Melissa Hayden. Wait what? Why the fuck do I have to have a Ménage à trois with two gingers?! And one's a dude!

I take on Mark first and blank him in a 5 - love match. Haha you faux-Euro.

Melissa dispatches Mark in quick fashion also. One ginger down.

Melissa and I swap 25% at this point to ensure a break even event for both of us since the winner is guaranteed 3rd place and will pocket at least $2k. Jay Greenspan said it was cheating but WTF does he know, he's a just writer.

It was an epic battle. Pretty sure we threw at least 25 times with a streak of 8 straight ties. My hand really hurt by the time we got tied up at 4 - 4 in the best of 5 match. In the end she threw rock and I threw scissors.



Melissa ended up finishing 3rd and pocketing $1500. I secured $500 to ensure my first non-losing WSOR in 3 years. Good times.

JDN

Stripper Party!!! Bluff's WSOP party at Shappire

Doyle zooms by me on his rascal as soon as I walk into the massive strip club just off the strip. Didn't think I see that today.

I wish I could've taken a picture of Gavin being mauled by two stripper. The Iphone needs a flash.

The real entertainment came from Bobo's conversation with an eager beaver, so to speak. She approached him with the promise of an enticing lap dance in the champagne room. Bobo, being the gentleman that he is, politely declined. The young dancer then proceeded to get all in Bobo's face. Very aggressive like. As she leaned in, she asked him, "Who is Sylvester Stallone?"

Bobo, dumbfounded, responded, "An actor..."

"In what?" The stripper demanded to know.

"Rambo... Rocky..." Bobo suspiciously submitted to her demand.

Then she left, walking past the dancing Layne Flack, and presumably to the VIP room that may or may not have contained one John Rambo.

JDN

WSOP Event #51 $1500 HORSE

I forget my seating assignment cards and I completely undermine my attempt to be ahead of the game and buy in a day early. So I stand in line for 30 minutes to get my seat card reprinted.

Amazon red table 3 seat 5 (but we're actually at amazon blue table 48 seat 5. I've stopped questioning the operating procedures of the rio. I just accept it now. Very zen of me.)

Table draw:

Seat 1: same random euro that i startsd the last horse tourney with
Seat 2: random older white lady
Seat 3: random older white lady
Seat 4: rwg
Seat 5: jdn
Seat 6: random really old white guy. He keeps asking the ladies if he just got raised by a women. All his jokes are about women playing poker. I'm going to call him cooter. He looks like a cooter
Seat 7: random really old guy that is just horrible at poker. Pretty sure he's only playing to suck out.
Seat 8: empty.

2700 at break. Down from a peek of 4500. Somehow I manage to lose 2200 in one level of limit poker.

Seat 7 is now know as slow roll joe. He slow rolled seat 4 and did the same to me in an Omaha hand where he had a set and a bad low. He announce that he had a low before opening up his hand. Old wrinkley douche bag.



Yeah I failed. I lost big pot in stud with a open ended straight and a flush draw vs queens up. The very next hand, very short stacked, I got it all in with an open ended straight with a pair of 6s vs trip 3s. Drawing slim on that one and I whiff again. I can't even suck out correctly this year. So poor.

Next up, the main event... If they let me buy in.

JDN