8.24.2008

The Legends of Poker at the Bike Main Event and something about WPT

No funny intros here. Its go time at the Bike. Until I run into Gavin. We chat for a few, catching up on the last few weeks while I miss the first orbit.

Ok! Now its go time!


Table 15 seat 5


Table draw:

Seat 1: the quiet Asian. Definately non-sag
Seat 2: rwg
Seat 3: surfer dude with Patrick Swazye Point Break high lights
Seat 4: rpg
Seat 5: jdn
Seat 6: Kyle "krisqueen or Queenkris" Wilson. A Canadian.
Seat 7: rpg
Seat 8: rag non-sag
Seat 9: Jean-Robert "I was on surviver and I have a French sounding name" Bellande

I make the first break without winning a hand but retain a chip count of 28K. How boring.

Finally win my first pot of the day with an hour left in the 2nd level.

I take 6K from Jean-Robert when I call him down with 99 on a board of 2 2 4 3 4. Up to 34K.

Daniel Negreanu is involved in a heavy flirt session with Amanda Leatherman. Kinda creepy. Does she know that he's Canadian? He's also apparently on the same Olympic team as Ali Nejad. They're both wearing Jamaica jerseys. Daniel has matching head phones and Ali has the matching shoes. I wonder if they do the two man luge. That should be the sequel to Cool Runnings. Aliwood and Kid Poker in the winter Olympics representing Jamaica. Oh the calamity.

I asked Kyle is he was embarrassed that Daniel was a Canadian too and he said, "He's French Canadian. This is expected."

Apparently there was some sort of unknown bounty on Jean-Robert. The RPG in seat 7 just called Bobby's all in of 6500 with A5 off. Bobby has JJ and I know I don't really have to finish the story. Bye bye Jean-Robert.

I smell a shipment of fail on the horizon. Wait for it. Waaaait for it. Ahhh there it is.

Going into the hand I have 40K. Coming out, I got 6K.

With blinds at 75/150 it's limped 3 ways to me in the small blind. I look down at 2 red jacks (my best preflop hand in 3 tourneys) and I raise to 650.

Two callers and the flop falls 6h Qh 8h. I bet 1500 and the sagish rag in seat reraises to 4500. I call. The turn is the Ah. I really like this card (famous last words). It gives me the 2nd nut flush and I don't think he's got Kh. Cause who raises with the 2nd nut flush draw? SAGs that's who.

He bets 8000. I'm thinking he's either got a small flush or a set. Smaller flush makes more sense since he limped preflop. I had also played with him for a couple of hours with the day before in the satellite. So my read was that he was a retarded player. And I still think it's the correct read. Just not on that hand.

So I call the turn bet. The river is some lame card of no consequence. And I check again to him. He stands up. Shakes his head. Does Hollywood thing before moving in. I can't help but call off the 17K and he shows me the KhQs. Bah.

6K going into the 2nd break. I guess that's still 30 big blinds. Short stack ninja time.

At break I get roped into singing "I fucked Erick Lindgren" with 15 other players. We were anchored by The Chainsaw. Very odd.

Jesus was also there, so I heard Jesus say fuck. Awesome. I don't think I've ever heard Chris Ferguson cuss. I was sandwiched between Scott Clements and Danny Wong. Guess it could have been worse.

I guess its for EDog's Bday. It should be on RAWvegas sometime this week. Nothing like the internets keep a 6 month old joke going. Very Niiiice.

In the 3rd level I fold till I see AK. I shove and get called by QQ. No help and I'm out.

At least there's not much traffic on Sundays.

JDN

8.20.2008

The Bike $1K

Of course I'm 20 min late driving in from Marina del rey. The 105 can be a bitch. To top off the traffic nicely I can't buy into the tourney because I don't have a bike card.

I walk back to the welcome desk to stand in line and wait for the extremely inefficient process to widdle it's way down to me. Hopefully that will happen before the registration period ends.

Hey! Max "The Italian "arrrrr" Pirate" Pescatori is in line too. I ask him how the parrot is doing and how the war on ninjas is progressing before I reach the counter and the prison admission like process that follows.

Like some kind of reverse gym (where I sit on my ass and drink beer), they take my picture and print it on a card. If feel like I'm getting my mug shot taken and it would have been nice to know that the anti red eye feature was on the camera.

""it's kinda weird..." the lady behind the counter tells me. "all the better."


Braaaaaaains



Table 30 Seat 5


Table draw:
Seat 1: older white guy that I know but can't remember his name
Seat 2: Tony Ma (I was pretty much guaranteed to be at a table with him at some point in this tourney.)
Seat 3: rwg
Seat 4: Max "The Italian "arrrrr" Pirate" Pescatori
Seat 5: jdn
Seat 6: rpg
Seat 7: table break!

Table 10 seat 2


As I get to my table there's a 3 way all in on a 5 3 2 board. Two clubs. Seat 9 opens up jacks, seat 4 shows tens and seat 7 has of all things sevens.

I'm in love with this table already.

Table draw part 2

Seat 1: rwg
Seat 2: jdn
Seat 3: empty
Seat 4: rwg
Seat 5: rowg
Seat 6: rowg
Seat 7: rpg
Seat 9: rwg
Seat 10: crazy lady

I really really love this table. Crazy lady gives me 2k when she fires two bullets, on the turn and river no less, on a 9 2 9 8 6 board. She mucks when I call the 1500 river bet with A8.

A few hands later she ships me 5k when I call her down with AK vs her AQ.

I'm thinking proposing to this table. 14K at first break.

Some where behind me Maria Ho is giving her table an extended 4 hand long lesson in poker manners.

I bust seat 6 when I wake up with KK in the big blind that completely dominates his puny QQ. Haha sucka.

Turns out Seat 1 is from Tunica, Miss. (aka America's asshole) and he's having problems handling his chips. He also doesn't protect his hands. Well neither is half the table. Man I miss playing in LA.

Something smells like feet.

Tunica Boy is wearing flip flops and I'm very pleased when he busts as the rank foot smell follows him out.

22K at 2nd break.

5k. Fuck. This guy sits down in seat 7 that kinds looks like Siad 25 years after he got off the island. He's got a pompus English accent too. It might be fake. Anyway, we play a couple of hands. I win both, one with a set of aces, so I'm not really going at him.

I raise UTG with 33 and he calls in late position. The flop falls A 3 8. I check, he checks. The turn is a 9. I check again and he bets out 1200. I raise to 4200. He takes forever and makes this crying call as the river falls a J putting a possible flush on the board. I check with the intent of flat calling anything. He shoves for 12K more. I guess I call.

He shows the ole' QT off for a straight. Lovely. But I still love this table.

Not long after I flop a set of Jacks against his Kings and get four flushed on the river.

15 min later I'm stuck in traffic on the 105. I love LA.

JDN

8.03.2008

Perry Friedman's Goiter

So I meet up with Perry and friends to go see Step Brothers (which was damn funny) the other day. Perry shows up with a goiter.


Holy shit! He's growing another head!



I whipped out my trusty bottle of iodine, which I always keep on me, and told to take care of that thing. I also have a couple of limes on me at all times to help prevent scurvy.

Apparently one night in the bedroom Perry was getting frisky with the GF (I know, too much info) and decide that she needed to be choked out with a MMA move. Be it a triangle or a (shutter) rear naked choke, he failed. Big time. Using her incredible knowledge of defending against a choke, GF employed a fishhook (though illegal in the ring, perfectly legal in bed) to get Perry off.

It worked. It probably looked something like this. Except without the man on ginger action.



I think the moral of this story is don't try to strangle your GF when she knows how to kick your ass and give you a goiter.

JDN

8.02.2008

BARGE Main Event

On the way downtown, at the ungodly hour of 9:30am, I stop to get gas. A pretty normal yet expensive occurrence in our everyday lives. So as I'm pumping the gas I notice a white van, not quite a rapist van, but kinda creepy none the less, pull up. A guy gets out lights up a cigarette and starts pumping. What the fuck!?

The sign clearly states that there is no smoking. Not to mention that shit could get you blown up!

After high tailing it outta there I make it to Binion's in time to pretend I'm Gavin and play the BARGE main event.

Table 5 seat 1.

Table draw:
Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: rowg, definitely a computer nerd.
Seat 3: rwg with a dozen dunkin' donuts. What no krispy creme?
Seat 4: Paul something. I can only see half his barge badge.
Seat 5: rwg.
Seat 6: larry "larry" stone. Barge badge in full view.
Seat 7: rowg
Seat 8: rwg
Seat 9: Robert "action bob" Hwang
Seat 10: younger guy that I know but can't remember his name. Maybe it's Joe.

Presto! I win my first big pot with presto on a 6 8 8 board. Gawd I'm turning into a barge nerd.

When seat 2 busts and walks away I see that the back of his shirt says "All your ace are belong to us.". Nerd alert!

The guy that replaces him looks exactly like the world of Warcraft guy from south park. Plays like him too.

11:50am
What am I doing up this early? Anyway the last hand before break I pick up JJ in the big blind as the small blind moves all in with 55. Presto. We all know how this ends. 5 on the flop and I'm down to 900 and going on break.

12:05pm
Pretty sure if dunkin' donuts guy and perry friedman were at the same table it would create an annoying short Jewish guy vortex.

Down to 850 I get it all in preflop with Ad Jd. I get a call from the early raiser with Qs 7s... I'll take it and with an ace on the flop I'm up to 1700. Woot.

The very next hand I look down at two red jacks, the third time I've had the hand. I make a standard raise to 300 and annoying dunkin' donuts guy splashes the pot with 1200 or so chips. I put the rest of mine in and dodge the ace and king to double up again to 3700.

12:28pm
Dunkin' donuts busts. The table quietly celebrates.

1:00pm
I run my KK into seat 6's KK and we chop. Last time I did that was against Choppy K in Turks and Caicos and I lost. That guy's a douche.

1:15pm
I get my last 2150 in preflop with AJ off. Seat 7 makes the call with Ah Qh. Oops. I'm dominated. Oops again, a jack on the river and I bust him out. He throws an old bag of jelly beans to me as my bust out prize. The bag looks to be about 20 years old at it's youngest. I'm up to around 4400. Yay.

The very next hand it's folded around to me I'm the cut off and I decide it's time to channel gsmith and raise to 600 with 5d 6d. I'm so fancy. Unfortunately the big blind pushes all in and I have to call. He shows Qd Jd. Oops. Good thing a 6 flops and that's all I need. This gives me a grateful dead bootleg CD as his bust out gift. What's this crap? Hippies. I don't listen to this shit.



1:45pm
Make it to break with 6500. Good for about average.

2:20pm
A short stack in early position moves all in for under 2k. Jim in seat 10 who's name I thought was Joe moves in for about 2500. I look down at the first card. It's a queen. Time to squeeeeeeze! Second card is a queen! Snap! All in!

Short stack shows KJ off and Jim has 66. Flops falls J T 3.

I yell, "No queen!". Queen on the turn. "Shit! Six!".

River falls a 4 and I'm close to 10k. Average stack is around 7k.

2:45pm
Oh momma! A.D.B. Fich (so it says on his hat) raises to 2k in late position with blinds at 300/600. Of course I'm the big blind and since he sat down, Fich has been raising and reraising me out of pots. He also says someone put a $10 bounty on me but I've never of him and none of my friends have $10 to spare.

So I call with A8 off. The flop comes A K 6. I check and he shoves. I snap call so quick his head spins. He show QJ and I'm up to 19k.

3:30pm
Another break and I got 19,900.

4:05pm
Awesome! The TD picks me up outta the big blind and puts me behind the button on another table. Haha donkeys!

4:25pm
Were hand for hand with 19 players. I got about 34000.

4:30pm
We're in the money. Happened on the other table. No idea what went down.

4:31pm
Yay! $150 payday.

I lose all but 3k in a hand of AK vs 22. a deuce flops and I'm drawing dead on the turn. I actually fold the next two hand because they're both T2 off. I elect to go all in blind on the big blind knowing that I'll probably have the best chance to double or triple up.

There's 3 callers and they check it down. The board reads something like 6 T 3 3 T. On the turn I squeeze 1 card and see a 7. Hmmm that doesn't help much. The other players open up their hands and all of them show A high. I gotta chance. Flip over my hand leaving the undercard hidden. I slowly squeeze the 7 back to reveal... I make the table sweat it more and really take my time, to reveal a 3! Baby doll! Ship it this way!

I'm back up to 10K.

I fold the next hand, As5s, after a raise and a call. Its folded to me on the button and I shove with 7h6h. Small blind folds and big blind thinks about it forever before deciding to call with Jd5d. A jack on the flop is followed by a jack on the turn and my day is done. Good for $200. Thats it? Whack. I gotta get outta Binion's.

JDN

Binion's 6pm HORSE

After ogling the women at the nugget pool I wander back over to Binion's to partake in their new Friday night horse tournament. I sign 5 minutes late and I'm the 15th person in the tourney. It's a 3 table sng. Just like the last tourney.

6:45pm
Seats are filling up. Almost 3 FULL tables.

Table draw:
Seat 1: leon sizmore from lake Helen fl. (say so on his barge badge)
Seat 2: rowg with a bad cowboy hat and a creepy thin grey molester beard.
Seat 3: jdn
Seat 4: random middle aged white chick
Seat 5: random middle aged white chick who looks likes Jimmy Fricke with boobs.
Seat 6: empty
Seat 7: rowg from the 2pm tourney
Seat 8: rowg that has no idea what he's doing. He probably doesn't even know he's at Binion's.

The levels are 30 minutes and that one level per game. Sweet. We should lose half of the field by stud 8.

I pretty much play every hand in hold'em and Omaha which allows me to enter the razz round with all of 3k in chips. We started with 6k.

I trap morons in seats 7 and 8 with a 6 5 low and get back up to 5k towards the end of the level.

7:50pm
I make the first break with 5400 in chips. Not bad considering I play like a donk.

Of course it doesn't last long as I somehow manage to lose over 5k in chips in about 3 hands.

I'm done with Binion's for today. I gotta be back at 10am tomorrow. Shit.

JDN

Binion's 2pm No Limit

I decide to stick around downtown and play some cheap tournies. Binions runs about 6 tournies a day and to my credit, I've won 3 or 4 of the 10 that I've played.

I hate the bathrooms by the pokerroom. The urinals are double stalled meaning that it's two urinals per divider. It's like trying to share a twin bed with a 300 pound dude.

Table 40 seat 1

Table draw:
Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: random old dude in scootery wheelchair thingy. ( oh he's out)
Seat 3: kevan garrett aka barbara's son. (it says so on his barge name tag)
Seat 4: barbara garrett aka kevan's mom. ((it's on her name tag too)
Seat 5: some old dude that a busted early on.
Seat 6: rowg
Seat 7: random older Asian guy that looks exactly like the lead singer from Fine Young Cannibals. Except 65 years old.
Seat 8: rwg
Seat 9: rowg
Seat 10: rwg

Gotta keep an eye on seats 3 and 4. Possible collusion.

2:45pm
Doesn't take long for me to double up and then double down when I run QQ into kevan's mom's AA. I still have a full rebuy to unload and if I bust there's a tourney at the nugget at 3pm.

2:55pm
The GF texts and tells me the water isn't working at home. It looks like this, "teh fking watr is off 4 some fcking reason!". Eek. Looks like I'll be staying at the nugget tonight. Glitter Gluch here I come.



3:02pm
I bust a short stack with QQ vs his 77 and I'm up to 4800. Kevan's mom busts someone with AA. Pretty sure she has a superuser account.

3:05pm
Break. I rebuy and add 2500 to my stack.

3:20pm
Back from break. I had to recharge with some runts from the beaver vending machine. I pulled no limes and I know I'm running good.

Pretty sure seat 6 is in love with seat 7.

3:52pm

Tables consolidate down to 2 from 3, it's a big tourny, and I move to table 39 seat 6. I'm not going to do a table draw cause the people from the first one are here too.

I get chopped down to 4k when my open ender can't catch up with top pair.

4:15pm
Busto. Got it all in against KhQh and Qd Js vs my 99. The board fell Jh 5h 4d and I had one out to win. Whiff and a whiff.

I run over to the Nugget to try to buy into their 3pm tourney but I am denied.

Guess I'll go stare at some chicks at the Nugget pool til 6. Binion's added a $150 HORSE tourney on Fridays. I predict I'll bubble it.

JDN

8.01.2008

BAAAAAARGE!!!

Barge stands for Big August Rec.Gambling Excursion or something like that.

Totally forgot about barge this year until I saw somewhere that Ricard "I am the Quite Lion" Brodie won the lowball event (rigged). You have to pre-register for barge, so if i don't try to use my connections, I'm shut out. So I text the now sober Gavin smith (good for his liver but bad for my entertainment), cause he's big in the barge community and see if he can get me into the main event.

Success!! Turns out ole' Gsmith planned a golf trip with Nordberg and won't be playing the TOC on Friday or the main on Saturday. Oh snap. Tournament start at 10am. Fuck! I'm not made for pre-noon tournaments.

I actually get to Binion's with 5 min to spare and I become the honorary Gavin Smith at table 3 seat 9. Cocktails!



Table draw:
Seat 1: a nerdy, very sweaty mini Grizzly Adams
Seat 2: random asian wearing a barge virgin 2008 shirt. SAG potential low.
Seat 3: random really really old guy
Seat 4: seen this random middle aged guy around a bit. He might be a dealer. He's got a star trek shot glass in front of him.
Seat 5: random middle aged house wifey type with a roshambo shirt
Seat 6: random middle aged ponytailed guy. I pin him for a computer programmer and it's confirmed a bit later when he tells someone he developed legal software.
Seat 7: random really old guy. Think his name is joe.
Seat 8: random middle aged lady with pink hair. It matches her shirt.
Seat 9: jdn

This tournament is TOC style, I don't know what that means but we start in stud with 30/60 blinds and a 5 ante. The next level is omaha hi/lo followed by limit hold'em. After the 3rd break we go to no limit hold'em.

I still have no idea why it called TOC style.

There's a disturbing conversation at my end of the table. Apparently there's a club of a sexual nature opening up tonight somewhere in town and the barge'rs get in free. The lady in seat 8 has experience going these types of clubs and explains that males have to pay $60 to get in, nude males $40, couples are $20 and single women are free.

A sex convention made up of furries and trekkies immediately comes to mind. People at BARGE are from the same evolutionary tree as the comic-com geeks, the a formention Trekkies and people who play World of Warcraft. Generally BARGE'rs are successful in their professional lives but they like the gamble that poker offers over other geek fetishes.

In hold'em I'm on the small blind when it's folded around to the button who obv, raises. I call with Kd7d and check the J 4 6 flop. After the continuation bet from pinkie I raise. She mucks her cards and pulls back her bet. Wait? What? Give it here you troll doll.

When we color up the $5 chips, it's been a while since I've done that, I've got 2950 from a starting stack of 3k.

Gavin's got me cross booked with 4 other people. The only one I know is Nolan Dalla so I guess I should take this seriously. Really. I should. This is gonna be hard.

3150 at break. I'm up and taking it seriously.

I meet one of the players I'm cross booked with at break. His name is Kenny and he's already out. He was the 2nd one out of the tourney. Sweet. Good betting gsmith.

Got fucked in stud during a huge pot. I made a jack high straight on 5th street and got called down by two players. Seat 2 had rolled up 7s and missed while seat 3 had his two pair, QQ & 44, fill up on 7th. Bah! Down to 1300. Cocktails!

I spewed off the rest of my chips in Omaha and busted to a standing ovation. I that hate about barge. Just let me leave the table quietly in my cone of misery.

JDN