The sign clearly states that there is no smoking. Not to mention that shit could get you blown up!
After high tailing it outta there I make it to Binion's in time to pretend I'm Gavin and play the BARGE main event.
Table 5 seat 1.
Table draw:
Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: rowg, definitely a computer nerd.
Seat 3: rwg with a dozen dunkin' donuts. What no krispy creme?
Seat 4: Paul something. I can only see half his barge badge.
Seat 5: rwg.
Seat 6: larry "larry" stone. Barge badge in full view.
Seat 7: rowg
Seat 8: rwg
Seat 9: Robert "action bob" Hwang
Seat 10: younger guy that I know but can't remember his name. Maybe it's Joe.
Presto! I win my first big pot with presto on a 6 8 8 board. Gawd I'm turning into a barge nerd.
When seat 2 busts and walks away I see that the back of his shirt says "All your ace are belong to us.". Nerd alert!
The guy that replaces him looks exactly like the world of Warcraft guy from south park. Plays like him too.
11:50am
What am I doing up this early? Anyway the last hand before break I pick up JJ in the big blind as the small blind moves all in with 55. Presto. We all know how this ends. 5 on the flop and I'm down to 900 and going on break.
12:05pm
Pretty sure if dunkin' donuts guy and perry friedman were at the same table it would create an annoying short Jewish guy vortex.
Down to 850 I get it all in preflop with Ad Jd. I get a call from the early raiser with Qs 7s... I'll take it and with an ace on the flop I'm up to 1700. Woot.
The very next hand I look down at two red jacks, the third time I've had the hand. I make a standard raise to 300 and annoying dunkin' donuts guy splashes the pot with 1200 or so chips. I put the rest of mine in and dodge the ace and king to double up again to 3700.
12:28pm
Dunkin' donuts busts. The table quietly celebrates.
1:00pm
I run my KK into seat 6's KK and we chop. Last time I did that was against Choppy K in Turks and Caicos and I lost. That guy's a douche.
1:15pm
I get my last 2150 in preflop with AJ off. Seat 7 makes the call with Ah Qh. Oops. I'm dominated. Oops again, a jack on the river and I bust him out. He throws an old bag of jelly beans to me as my bust out prize. The bag looks to be about 20 years old at it's youngest. I'm up to around 4400. Yay.
The very next hand it's folded around to me I'm the cut off and I decide it's time to channel gsmith and raise to 600 with 5d 6d. I'm so fancy. Unfortunately the big blind pushes all in and I have to call. He shows Qd Jd. Oops. Good thing a 6 flops and that's all I need. This gives me a grateful dead bootleg CD as his bust out gift. What's this crap? Hippies. I don't listen to this shit.
1:45pm
Make it to break with 6500. Good for about average.
2:20pm
A short stack in early position moves all in for under 2k. Jim in seat 10 who's name I thought was Joe moves in for about 2500. I look down at the first card. It's a queen. Time to squeeeeeeze! Second card is a queen! Snap! All in!
Short stack shows KJ off and Jim has 66. Flops falls J T 3.
I yell, "No queen!". Queen on the turn. "Shit! Six!".
River falls a 4 and I'm close to 10k. Average stack is around 7k.
2:45pm
Oh momma! A.D.B. Fich (so it says on his hat) raises to 2k in late position with blinds at 300/600. Of course I'm the big blind and since he sat down, Fich has been raising and reraising me out of pots. He also says someone put a $10 bounty on me but I've never of him and none of my friends have $10 to spare.
So I call with A8 off. The flop comes A K 6. I check and he shoves. I snap call so quick his head spins. He show QJ and I'm up to 19k.
3:30pm
Another break and I got 19,900.
4:05pm
Awesome! The TD picks me up outta the big blind and puts me behind the button on another table. Haha donkeys!
4:25pm
Were hand for hand with 19 players. I got about 34000.
4:30pm
We're in the money. Happened on the other table. No idea what went down.
4:31pm
Yay! $150 payday.
I lose all but 3k in a hand of AK vs 22. a deuce flops and I'm drawing dead on the turn. I actually fold the next two hand because they're both T2 off. I elect to go all in blind on the big blind knowing that I'll probably have the best chance to double or triple up.
There's 3 callers and they check it down. The board reads something like 6 T 3 3 T. On the turn I squeeze 1 card and see a 7. Hmmm that doesn't help much. The other players open up their hands and all of them show A high. I gotta chance. Flip over my hand leaving the undercard hidden. I slowly squeeze the 7 back to reveal... I make the table sweat it more and really take my time, to reveal a 3! Baby doll! Ship it this way!
I'm back up to 10K.
I fold the next hand, As5s, after a raise and a call. Its folded to me on the button and I shove with 7h6h. Small blind folds and big blind thinks about it forever before deciding to call with Jd5d. A jack on the flop is followed by a jack on the turn and my day is done. Good for $200. Thats it? Whack. I gotta get outta Binion's.
JDN
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