$500 OE (Omaha hi lo & stud 8) LAPC

I buy in a little late, bad late night burrito, so I get see who will be at my table in line.

4000 in chips
40 minute levels
Prepare for failure

Table 14 seat 5

Table draw:

Seat 1: Miami John Cernuto
Seat 2: Steve Wong
Seat 3: RWG with a Mariners hat on. I've played with him a few different times.
Seat 4: Random Black Lady
Seat 5: JDN
Seat 6: RPG
Seat 7: RWG that I've played with before. He kinda looks like Steve Young.
Seat 8: RPG

Miami gets picked up and that creepy ginger Dan Hiemiller takes his spot.

In spectacular fashion I make an 8 high flush and a 7 low in stud 8 and get scooped by Seat 8's full house and Steve Wong's 6 low.

FML.

But wait it continues...

Typical shit. When I call with the bad low I lose. When I fold the bad low I would have gotten half. Stud 8 is killing me.

Omaha... Not so bad. It's keeping me alive even though I'm down to half a starting stack.

I finally win a big hand in Omaha, but I had to call a cap bet preflop with 2c 3s Tc Qh. I turned the straight and got paid off in 2 spots.

3825 at break.

I have declared that there will be no time traveling at this table.

I miss two huge scoop draws in omaha to get back down to 2100.

At least I'm not the first one out of the tourney. 3 down so far out of 131.

Peter, the cat that looks like Steve Young, hit a diamond royal and I called him down with the low. Too bad it was 3 handed and I had the 2nd best low.

Somehow I get down to 1000, well I know how, in Stud 8. So me being me I have the 2c showing. In stud the low up card brings in. Kinda of like a blind. So I bring...

Oh fuck it. I got all in 3 handed with a huge chance to scoop but I chopped it with the chick next to me and I doubled up kinda.

3000 at break. I suck.

I bust Steve Wong when I hit a 2 outter on 7th and promptly dump those newly won chips to Steve Young Jr when I again miss my straight and low.

Table break.

Table 3 seat 1

I got 2500 and we have Steve Young Jr, Frankie O'Dell, Ozzie, and Bigfoot at the table.

Oh sweet! 1250 now!

Outsky. Tried to squeeze out low against two high hands and I was given two pair for my troubles against Steve Young's full house.



JDN

$335 Stud 8 LAPC

GG

$335 Obamaha Hi/Lo LAPC

Recovered from my barfy Saturday and my car breakdown Sunday I wait till Tuesday to get back in action. And that action is Omaha Hi / Lo aka Old Man's Torture.

It takes me 1:15 to get to the Commerce in the rain so I buy in right at the start time of 4:00pm. I get to my table and there's no dealer and no chips. And all the peeps who were around me in line, are at my table. WTF? Is this the WSOP?

Table 54 seat 7...
3000 in chips ...
40 minute levels ...
It's go time!!

ZZZZZZZZZZZ.

"I think I have a low."

"there is no low."

Table draw:

Seat 1: Random Peruvian Guy (that's a new one). I can tell cause he's got one of this funny English hats on and all he's missing is a pan flute.
Seat 2: Pau Gasol. Not the real Pau Gasol, who's on TV right now, but he looks just like him minus a foot.
Seat 3: an oldtimer named Ozzie that I used to play with at Hollywood Park years ago.
Seat 4: RWG
Seat 5: Random Persian Guy who might be the very worst Omaha player I've ever seen. He's in every pot and calls every single one down.
Seat 6: Random White Chick
Seat 7: JDN
Seat 8: Random Old White Guy. At least 70 and oddly enough the only RPWG at the table.
Seat 9: RYWG. Our own little Allen Kessler. So tight I don't know why he is even looking at the hands.

With blinds at 25/25 there's no reason to raise preflop so I just call or limp pre and see play the flops. It seems to be working for me so far as I've scooped several pots in the first two levels.

I drill Ozzie when I limp with AAxx and I fill up on turn. I slow played it, then after he filled up on the river we cap it, I scoop it, and the dealer ships it.

Yeah boy!

The guy in seat 5 is trying so hard to bust but he's chopping just enough pots to keep his head above water.

3300 at break. I had 4600 but I caught the ass end of a straight against Ozzie and I called it down like a donk.

First hand back from break I limp with 2456 rainbow, a awesome Badugi if there ever was, and I flop the wheel four handed. Checked around. I turn the 7 high straight, checked around. I finally the river and everyone folds. Blargh.

Table break!

At table 41 I know a couple peeps. Seat 4 is my golfing buddy Carol and in seat 6 is Linda Johnson.

I lose a big hand with AA68 vs KKJ7.

Mark Gergorich moves to seat 3. This table sucks.

But then it gets better. I flop a straight against Carol and she donates a bit.

I make a hero call with AAxx on a multi-way pot with the board reading J 8 6 Q Q and it's good.

I hit and open ended straight draw on the turn and scoop a nice pot from the Asian guy in seat 2.

Hey I think Suzie Issacs is in seat 1.

Hey I just busted Suzie Issacs with the nut flush.

Hey Suzie Issacs has giant knockers.

Holy shit! There's a guy hulking out at table 34! There's gonna be a fight! Looks like the floor man, not Matt Savage, wants to get involved.



It's diffused. Bah!

My friend Kung Fu calls me at 7:30 to ask if I want to go get some drinks. He knows that I started the tourney at 4. I tell him I'm still in and he says "really?"

Fuckers.

Table break!

Table 31 seat 9.

The only one I recognize here is Chris "Hey I'm Really an Ewok" Bigler. He only lasts a few hands before busting.

I got around 8K. Which is double average.

And then I'm out. Couldn't win a hand once I got moved to the new table and I was in seat 9 which is the unlucky seat.

BAH!

JDN!

$335 1 Million Guarantee LAPC

Day 3.

I drove in from Vegas last night to buy in and avoid the all too familiar alternate line.

In case if you don't know, it's monsoon season in the southwest.

And apparently is snows during monsoons too.



It was fairly uneventful save the van taking a 70 mph left turn into the center divider while coming into Barstow.

The next morning I begin my trek inland to the Commerce in another torrential downfall. Really is this LA?

I arrive at the casino at 11:55am, perfect. After a quick jaunt up to the ballroom, I see that the tourney doesn't start till 1pm.

....

Shiiiiiiiiiiite.

Fast forward 1 hour:

Table 62 seat 4
3000 in chips, 40 minute levels, blinds start at 25/25.

With blinds at 25/25 there's no fold equity preflop so I would imagine that there will be very little folding preflizzle.

Table draw:
Seat 1: RWG wearing his free Commerce shirt.
Seat 2: RYAG with a set of buck teeth that could stab your eyes out. He seems fairly new to poker.
Seat 3: ROAG who is the king of the limpers.
Seat 4: JDN
Seat 5: empty
Seat 6: RAG
Seat 7: ROWG with a cowboy hat that looks like he should have been on Bonanza.
Seat 8: Random White Chick who I played with last night in a $80 single table. My read: Agro luckbox
Seat 9: ROWG that's trying to engage everyone in conversation. Can't you see I have headphones on old man?!
Seat 10: RAG

And I'm out

Got it in with AT on a Ten high board vs the Aces of the chick that I played the night before. She busted me in that tourney too. Luckbox.

I'm out so fast that its too early for me to buy in into the tournament for the next day. I gotta kill and hour and a half. Fuck.

Might as well go see if I can win my buy in at the cash games.

In win $400 in 45 minutes at a 2/3 no limit game. I love the Commerce.

Unfortunately I work up the next morning all barfy and couldn't play. Lame.

Next for me: Omaha 8 on Tuesday.

JDN

Heartland Poker Tour Main Event

I win $100 playing video poker before the start of the tourney, so this trip to the Red Rock Casino won't be a total waste no matter what.

I get to my seat, the tourney starts, I win a couple of hands, I'm feeling good... And the... Holy Shit!!

I jump outta my seat and b-line it to the restroom.

I pass Tiffany-Michelle on the way and say, "hicanttalkGOTTAPOOP!!!"

I make it to a clean vessel no less than two seconds from detonation.

Whyaaaaaaaarrrrfgggghhhhhhhh!!!!1!



Once back in the pokerroom, I feel 5 pounds lighter and ready to get it going!

So I promptly bluff off 7K in chips while I was playing the board. I put the guy on a flush draw and when it didn't get I was agressible. He made the crying call on a paired board with middle pair.

Table 8 Seat 7

15,000 in chips, 40 minute levels, shitty structure.

Table draw:

Seat 1: RWG. I've taken half of his chips, then handed them over to seat 8.
Seat 2: ROWG that I played with in the super satellite. He sucks.
Seat 3: ROWG sporting the gold necklace and hairy chest circa 1983
Seat 4: Doug "The Toolbox" Lee
Seat 5: ROWG aka Shakes. His hands are twitching like a mofo.
Seat 6: Vinny Vinh. He smells like stale cigarettes.
Seat 7: JDN
Seat 8: RWG who I gave 7K to for being r'tarded.
Seat 9: Random Asian Guy, def not a SAG.
Seat 10: RPG

Doug Lee out! He play bad.

17K at break.

Down to 11,500 by virtue of checkdowns. Awesome.

I think I lose the minimum preflop with TT in the big blind when the RPG in seat 10 limp reraises to 12K. He shows AA.

8K.

Vinny Vinh out. So is the Poker Kat.

6K. I don't like this trend.

Jon Friedberg get moved to the table next to me and has 50K. FML.

The old guy that took Vinny Vinh's seat is wearing a WSOP bracelet. It had to be the seniors event in 92.

I move all in with 77 in early position and everyone folds. Pussys.

Its raised by the button while I'm in the small blind with QJ and I snap move in for the rest of my chips. The button snap calls with KQ.

GG.

JDN

Venetian Nooner

I thought it was a $125 buy in but I forgot that it was Saturday, since I never know what day it is, and the buy in is $340. That's a little steep for the ole' bankroll nowadays... Oh well I drove all the way down here. Fuck it!

Table 51 Seat 8

I think we started with 10k in chips, I didn't bother to count and we got 40 minute levels. I think. I'm watching playoff football. I can't be bothered with details.

Table draw:
Seat 1: Random White Guy
Seat 2: empty
Seat 3: Random Persan Guy who I've played with before. He thinks he's good but he sucks. So he's probably better than me.
Seat 4: RWG with a teal and purple Zoo York hoodie/windbreaker thing that he should not be wearing. It totally clashes withhis gingery pale white skin.
Seat 5: Random Older White Guy
Seat 6: Random Really Old White Guy
Seat 7: RPG aka the human rain delay. This guy is killing me. Thank god football is on. Let's hear it for the over on the Jets / Bengals game!
Seat 8: JDN
Seat 9: Random White Bloke. (he's british and a big one too)
Seat 10: RWG who looks like he's been on a 3 day martini bender.

The line is 34 1/2 points for the Jets & Bengals game. And I got a big TV to my right. Sweet!

Zoo York Ginger snaps my AJ off with 93 on a A Q 9 6 3 board. Lovely.

Bengals score.

13K at first break.

I win a big pot with 22 on a 2h 4h 4c flop in a hand with seat 1. I bet out at the flop and he min raises me. Looks like an over pair or a flush draw. I just call.

The turn is an ace. That could be a good card for him or it's gonna scare him out of the hand. I check he checks. Guess it's a flush draw or a pair of tens.

The river is the 7h. Well if he has the flush he's going to raise me if I bet out. If he's got tens he's gonna fold to a bet and check behind a check.

I bet 3500 and he folds. Bah!

The Jets score! Yay!

I'm in a big hand facing an all in bet from the Big Bloke on a board of Th 7s Js 9s. I got Qd Td.

Then the Jets score again! Yes. I can fold happy now. I fold.

14 to 7 at half time. Over bets looking good!

A Russian looking chick sits down in seat 2. She looks mean. Vodka drunk mean. I'll be sure to stay outta her way.

I just realized that this is the first time I've played a live tourney since Canada in Novmember. I didn't do a post on that trip because it sucked ass. Like all things poker for me at the moment.

The Human Rain Delay busts and all is right with the world.

The old guy in seat 6 just took off his shoes, which he had a hard time reaching cause of his big ole' saggy old man gut.

Bengals miss a field goal! FML! Someone fire that kicker!

I'm card dead but then... The Jets score a touchdown!!1! Yes. I only need 7 points in the 4th quarter. C'mon motherfuckers!

The dealer is too fat to push chips to players beyond the grasp of his Snickers Bar fingers so he's just kinda of shoveling them at players. I might need some eye protection.

Bengals score!!! Ship the over!

Then I take KK against the old man's AT and over course he hits an ace on the river to bust me. He stands up shoots and invisible arrow over the table and does a dance before trying to shake my hand.

I stare at the hand in front of me. WTF? I tell him to go fuck himself.

Well at least I win my football bet.

I'm so steamed now that I walk down to Aria to try out its new poker room.

Aria:

There's no cell phone service in the poker room. Fuck this place. I'm outta here.

Venetian 7pm

I sit down a little late play a few hands before I flop two pair with A2 on a A 2 6 board. I get all in vs a player with AK and the king hits on the river. Typical.

On my way out the Venetian I see a tweet from Mark Seif saying that Amir Vahedi died.

Fuuck.

I'm going to miss that close talking, cigar breath having bastard.

RIP My Friend

JDN

2009 Poker Twitterers Awards

The Funniest Twitterer Award goes to: @ComplainSaw



This is another anonymous account. This person seems to have a direct line to the thoughts and rational of Allen "Chainsaw" Kessler. Be it a bad tournament structure or the correct usage of comp points, @complainsaw gives us an amazing insight into one of poker's most... unusual minds.

@ComplainSaw highlights:

yawn. someone alert the media again. RT @allenkessler The bellagio 5k horse structure does NOT get thechainsaaw seal of approval
3:03 PM Dec 8th, 2009 from web

I am Kessler's Buffalo Bill. "It rubs the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose"
3:01 PM Dec 7th, 2009 from web

I am Brandon Cantu's raging case of oral hemorrhoids. (@brandoncantu)
8:53 PM Nov 30th, 2009 from web

I am the Ralph Wiggum of Poker
1:38 PM Nov 24th, 2009 from web

I am Kessler's ability to tweet and fold at the same time
2:23 PM Nov 23rd, 2009 from web

I am Kessler's simmering paranoia
1:11 PM Nov 23rd, 2009 from web

Kessler Translation: Tourneys should play like cash games. Don't pressure me out of my comfort zone or expand my range to QQ.
10:33 AM Nov 21st, 2009 from web

Caught a cheater today at the buffet. He was using multiple plates per trip, an obvious angle shooter.
9:01 AM Nov 21st, 2009 from web

Keep it going @ComplainSaw!

The What the What Twitterer Award goes to: @MarcelLuske



We all know that Marcel is a bit of a nutter, we've seen it on his televised table appearances. Upside down glasses, the singing, the accent. None of it really makes a whole lotta sense. So it shouldn't surprise you that his twittering is just as random and confusing as ever. To top it all off, he's apparently launched his first album.

R U Ready 4 the best year of yr life,,2010,,,, the PCA bahamas,beats & victory,s,,, sun & fun...you,l better...cause we R...C U there, {;
2:33 AM Dec 29th, 2009 from web

vegassssssssssssssssssssss,,,prepair some sushiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissss,,lol
12:20 PM Dec 9th, 2009 from web

We All state By Joking partly the truth with{out} knowing it,{B carefull what you wish 4} then After,it take,s a brave heart 2 admit that{;
5:11 AM Dec 6th, 2009 from web

moving problems to next week will not solve them,, taking time 2 do correct judgement does !
1:02 PM Nov 25th, 2009 from web

learn 2 enjoin the joy of others and C how how it make,s you happy as well,,Try it,,even when I know its hard 4 U grompy,s,,LOL
5:30 PM Nov 24th, 2009 from web

i know U dont have a clou what i,m talking about,, lets keep it like that,, grom..grom..,LOL
9:29 AM Nov 24th, 2009 from web

so retarded,,,hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
4:21 PM Oct 30th, 2009 from web

Wait! What?

The Meanest/Sometimes Funny Poker Twitterer Award goes to: @AsianSpa

No one really knows who Asian Spa is. He's crass, obnoxious, and sometimes damn funny. His tweets are repetitive and shallow, but you have to admit, the man likes to speak his mind. Latest rumor is that Asian Spa is actually our very own Jon Friedberg... The truth is out there, somewhere.

@AsianSpa highlights:

@Lara_Miller Are u reping @fat_david_benyamine ? I am trying to get ahold of him for a Jenny Craig deal and Subway is showing interest also
about 5 hours ago from web in reply to Lara_Miller

@laceyjones it isnt like anyone goes to your website anyway.
about 20 hours ago from mobile web

@hollywood_dave u sir could not service @tiffnymichelle right so she blew u out, now u wear UB patches to go to the grocery. Get –a-Life
4:44 PM Dec 18th, 2009 from web

@MariaHo sounds like somebody needed "Crack Spakle"
10:46 AM Dec 10th, 2009 from web in reply to MariaHo

@crissangel went to your show last week and boy did it SUCK
1:09 PM Nov 11th, 2009 from web

@back2backflack Layne your a True Fuck Head
2:49 PM Nov 7th, 2009 from web in reply to back2backflack

@dennis_phillips Your shit gets old sir.. Your podcast is like listening to dave stann talk about his cock size
8:58 PM Nov 3rd, 2009 from mobile web

@joesebok theres selling out, and selling out... U fucked the fans
9:51 PM Nov 1st, 2009 from mobile web

We hate @brandoncantu!
7:09 PM Nov 1st, 2009 from mobile web

@JonFriedberg what are u doing on MLK buying crack or hookers?
2:35 PM Oct 28th, 2009 from web in reply to JonFriedberg

Congrats @AsianSpa

The Laziest Twitterer of the Year award goes to: @BrandonCantu



I think Cantu is just trying to save time and energy by not writing complete sentences, hell he isn't even writing complete words.

Out
4:30 PM Jan 5th from txt

Hpy nye
9:54 PM Dec 31st, 2009 from txt

Mry xms
9:59 AM Dec 25th, 2009 from txt

Hpy thxgvg
11:46 AM Nov 26th, 2009 from txt

144k cant win a race
3:59 PM Nov 24th, 2009 from txt

w holds to 82k
4:25 PM Nov 23rd, 2009 from txt

4 of 6
12:29 AM Nov 5th, 2009 from txt

Chipleader hu
6:39 PM Nov 1st, 2009 from txt

414k done
8:32 PM Oct 23rd, 2009 from txt

cngrts

The most Honest Twitterer of the Year Award goes to: @ToddBrunson



Todd just doesn't give a fuck. I like that.

@SavagePoker Ya you need to work on that piece of crap!!!
11:32 PM Jan 2nd from web

Merry Christmas to all!! Well cept the Jews and the Muslims. To u guys.. Happy Hanukkah and Ramadan.. Or whatever
1:27 PM Dec 25th, 2009 from txt

Lady gaga could kick ur ass!!!!
8:53 PM Dec 17th, 2009 from txt

Genius put all his chips in with middle pair
8:12 PM Dec 15th, 2009 from txt

What an idiot. I'm bb he's sb. He limps. Flop 345 he checks and I push
8:03 PM Dec 12th, 2009 from txt

And my stupid sister Pam
7:52 PM Dec 12th, 2009 from txt

I proceded to tell her how that place has gone down hill and that's why no poker players go there anymore
12:23 AM Dec 3rd, 2009 from txt

I really think if JFK and LBJ had eaten Vietnamese soup they wouldn't have been in such a hurry to go to war with them
12:55 AM Nov 18th, 2009 from txt

We are the only white ppl in here and everyone is staring at us
6:31 PM Nov 3rd, 2009 from txt

Down to 12 players. If I make it to 10 maybe I'll stake that bitch Lara miller since she came all this way
10:35 PM Oct 9th, 2009 from txt

This trophy sucks!

The Most Annoying Twitterer Award of the Year goes to: @jeffmadsenobv



Obv. Turn off that stupid horoscope that auto posts every day and fills up my twitter with BS. Post more conspiracy theories, that always gives us something to laugh at. Even his picture is too big. Obv.

Annoying, like a skinny rapping ginger

The Twitter Fight of the Year: @allenkesslar & @savagepoker

<

This was like watching to Star Trek nerds duke it out over the topic of who was the best captian in Trek history. Kirk or Picard? Picard or Kirk? Hey look at those two pale guys with the noodley arms slap box!

This orginally started in a 2+2 thread, that you can find here, but then it didn't take too long for it to spill into the halls of the Twitter-verse.

Here are a few of the highlights:

RT @allenkessler: Finished 4th in palms 25k winner take all ;( That's your best finish in a while..... Maybe the fast structure suits you!
12:38 AM Dec 5th, 2009 from Echofon

55 X 2 = 86 is @allenkessler Math?
1:36 PM Nov 24th, 2009 from Echofon in reply to allenkessler

@AllenKessler Can you seethe marquee in the distance? http://twitpic.com/qozgd
4:25 PM Nov 23rd, 2009 from Echofon



Enough about @mymixednuts already. ......
6:16 PM Dec 19th, 2009 from twidroid

People complaining here about the fast limit structure. @savagepoker yours are even faster than this.
3:22 PM Dec 1st, 2009 from txt

@savagepoker youre embarrassing yourself. They played 90 min levels at venetian and day 1 was 3 hours longer than yours
3:18 PM Nov 24th, 2009 from txt

@savagepoker people dont want to play a main event where half bust by dinner and 80% out day 1 either. Borgata falls midway between.
5:40 PM Nov 23rd, 2009 from txt

@savagepoker continues to make fun of me on twitter, perhaps there is some merit in my comparisons. Both venetian and borgata give more
1:06 PM Nov 23rd, 2009 from txt

2 dead giveaways that @savagepoker main event structres need work. 1) half the field out by dinner 2) avg stack 5x starting chips end day 1
10:09 AM Nov 21st, 2009 from txt

Savage brought out the big guns in the 2+2 thread:

To the Chainsaw: Please avoid the LA Poker Classic if you are going to nit me everyday for more chips, longer levels, and buffet comps!

Advantage: Savage

Structure Fail Trophy

JDN

Listen here you douchebag!

Quit fucking spamming my blog! Or I'm going to do this to you.



fuckwit.

$340 + $10 Floor Staff Bonus Venetian Deep Stack Tournament

Is that Layne Flack on the left?

I get to the Venetian about an hour before the start of the tourney to meet up with a hot MILF for breakfast. The inherent problem with MILFs is the whole kids "thing."

Damn toddlers got me stood up.

I did the next best thing and had breakfast with old man Katkin. Not nearly as hot but at least he puts out.

12K in chips, 40 minute levels, here we go.

Table 29 seat 2

And the table breaks. Damn it. It's the greatest table evar! 3 old people who are clueless, a couple of young dudes swinging the poker cocks around, a female Asian commerce player and a crazy agro middle aged white chick. Epic.

I make a couple thousand before the table breaks and I'm sent out to the loud ass casino.

Table 67 seat 6

Table draw:
Seat 1: RWG
Seat 2: Random Internet Nerd
Seat 3: Random Internet Nerd #2
Seat 4: empty
Seat 5: empty
Seat 6: JDN
Seat 7: ROWG from the first table.
Seat 8: Random Club Bro. Affliction shirt, check. Muscles, check. Bad tattoos, check. Bad hair, check.

And my table breaks. WTF?!

At least I pick up aces on the last hand before the table breaks.

New table 45 seat 5

Table draw:
Seat 1: RWG with sunglasses and a hat.
Seat 2: RWG with sunglasses and a hat.
Seat 3: RWG with bad skin and thinning hair.
Seat 4: Random Latino Guy with sunglasses.
Seat 5: JDN
Seat 6: Random Internet Nerd
Seat 7: RWG
Seat 8: RLG with sunglasses and a hat.
Seat 9: RWG with sunglasses and a hat.
Seat 10: RWG with sunglasses and a hat.

I see a theme here.

The idiot in seat 8 just announced that he folded a set of 6s on a flop 6 5 4. He's such a r'tard, that I believe him.

Just saw the greatest hand ever! EVAR!

The R'tard in seat 8 raises to 850 with blinds at 100/200. The slow guy in seat 9 calls but he can't count so it takes about 3 minutes to get his chips out past the blind. I fold my big blind, Tc4c, and the flops falls Qh Th 6h.

The R'tard bets 300 and the slow guy snap moves in for 10K. Wait! What?

All kinds of awesomeness going down on this table.

21K at break.

Argument about playing brick breaker while in a hand just broke out between the r'tard, floor, and the ROWG in seat 10. I swear I'm riding the short bus.

Blargh. I raise to 1100 in early position with 55 and slow guy moves in for just under 7K. Then the big guy in the Phillies hat moves all in for less than 5K. Meh.

I call. The slow guy shows KQ off and the big guys shows AJ off. I got no chance.

The flop is K T Q. Slow guy walks away.

Blank blank and big guy rakes the main pot and someone has to grab the slow guy and tell him he's won the side pot.

Still got 26K.

Random Club Bro gets moved to my table.

Dude!

Sweet!

With blinds at 300/600 50 I'm on the big blind and the old guy in seat 10, who I now realize is wearing two hats, limps. The big guy in seat 2 raises to 2500. And then I pick up a tell...

Every time this middle aged woman comes over and talks to him he raises the hand. She's a mildly attractive 45 year old with a exposed midriff and a midlife crisis bellybutton piercing swimming around in her loose 2.3 kids belly skin.

He wants to tap that. But they're just friends.

Obv he's in love. He wants to show off.

I reraise to 8000 with Kh7h. I don't mind if the old guy with two hats moves in for his 10K. I just want smack the big guy with a boner down.

They both fold. Ha ha!

Embarrassing iPod song of the day: Clumsy by Fergie.

33K at break.

Just from break I loose 25K with JJ vs KK. The razor sunglasses lady to my left just flat called my reraise of 6500 and snap shoved on the flop of T 9 3.

It looked like a stop'n'go, which I gave her credit for knowing what that was.

15k as the table breaks.

Don't last long at this table as I'm blinded down to 8 big blinds before a I shove with Jd4d from the small blind. I hit a 4 at least.

Gonna go home and do this.

JDN

$340 Venetian Deep Stack

It's a bright and sunny day in Vegas. Everything is new and clean. I'm wearing some nice clean Air Max 95s. I put new music on my iPod. The dogs let me sleep till 11am.

All is good.

I get to the Venetian but I forgot my players card. No worries. I'll just get another one from the guy at the table that looks like Jimmy Fricke's mini me.

I buy in for $340 and the TD tells me that it's $350 if I want the extra 2000 in chips for the dealer bonus. I say no thanks. (mostly cause I'm too lazy to dig through my pocket to find another $10).

After they take the 2000 out if my stack I realize that my iPod isn't charged. But that's ok, I have a back up. It's all good.

$10,000 in chips, 40 minute levels.

Table 16 seat 6

Table draw aka Holy shit I swear I'm in Atlantic City!:

The table is full bedazzled shirts and looks to be 80% east coasters. This should a great table.

Annnnd then it breaks. But that's ok, the next table is going to be even better.

I get to the new table with 9725.

Table 71 seat 9

Table draw:
Seat 1: Random Black Guy wearing a WSOPC ring on each hand. Tacky!
Seat 2: Random White Guy with an Ed Hardy shirt.
Seat 3: Random Older White Guy with a Jagermiester hat on.
Seat 4: Random Younger White Guy with a voice like Louis Armstrong.
Seat 5: Random Asian Guy. SAG factor: low. Ed Hardy shirt is a go!
Seat 6: Random White Guy with lots of studs and shiny things on his hat and shirt. Brand unknown.
Seat 7: Random Older White Guy.
Seat 8: A younger version of Miami John that doesn't speak English.
Seat 9: JDN
Seat 10: Busted as soon as I sat down.

Hey there's Jon Friedberg! He comes over say hi and I pick up AK. Sweet! I get it all in on the river when the board runs out 8s 7c Kc 7h Ad. The RBG with the rings calls and I double up. Thanks Friedberg.

A few hands later Friedberg is back after busting on his first hand played and I pick up KK and take down the 10k pot on the turn.

Wow Friedberg is a lucky bitch. We should go to the craps table. Lady luck is on my side when he's around.

24k at break.

Back from break and I see a raised multiway flop with AK. The flop comes out Ad Kh 2h. The Ed Hardy Asian, who, btw also has an Ed Hardy hoodie and was the original raiser, bets out 2400. I raise him to 6500. Rest of the table folds.

He moves all in. I call and he shows AQ. Dominated. Sahweet!

The turn is a Q. But it's ok. I know I'm not going to get bad beat.

The river is a 3. See? Positive thinking. It works for me sometimes.

Dave Stann aka Hollywood Dave is at the table behind me and he just got the floor called on him for too much ass crack. Ha. Guess he's trying to be a plumber too.

The super bedazzled/studded guy in seat 6 is officially the human rain delay.

Table break! I really liked that table. But it's ok because my next table will be even better.

Nothing really interesting going on at table 53 except the Asian guy in seat 7 with about 70k in front of him.

I'm back in seat 9.

I bust a guy for a 20k pot when my A high flush bests his J high flush

Now I got 70K.

4:10pm: iPod dies. But it's ok. I have a backup.

A little over 70K at break.

Thinking about betting on the Fedor fight.

After break I decide to turn up the heat on these motherfuckers... Heineken!

Then the waitress forgets my beer. But it's ok. She'll be back around in no time.

I run my first successful bluff of the day when I fire a bullet on turn and river on a board of A Q Q K 2 with 33. I put the big guy in seat 6 on a weak ace or a medium pair. He checked every street to me so I knew he didn't really like his hand and I knew he didn't have a queen after the check call on the turn.

9000 value looking bet on river and he folds it.

88K.

The super SAG in seat 7 is trying his hardest to dust off all his chips. He's sitting on 30k now. Down 100k. Oops.

I dunno if it was a bad play or not but I check raised a guy on a K 7 Q to 15000 with AJ. He tanked it for a few minutes before saying nice hand and putting all his chips in the middle. Moron. He had KJ and it held.

Down to 60k. But that's ok because I'm still 20k above average.

I bust the crazy Asian lady in seat 10 with 55 vs her AQ. I get about 24k from her.

I go into the break with about 90k.

First hand after break the Super SAG raises to 11600 under the gun with blinds at 800/1200. Wait what?

I look down at JJ. The SAG has about 30k left and he's so damn fishy. I raise to 30K. It gets back around to him and he calls pretty quick with the Ac6c.

:-)

He flops a 6 but I river a jack. Haha!

126K. Yeah boy!

Overheard in the bathroom at break: Did you guys pee on your fingers?

Stopped taking notes after dinner break because I ate at Chipotle and went into food coma. My phone was also dying so I twitted a little bit and here they are:

120k at dinner break. Average 50k. 88 players left. 36 pay. I like my spot.
7:37 PM Nov 3rd from Echofon

Rocking 160k with 50 players left got a bunch of Internet nerds at my table.10:41 PM Nov 3rd from Echofon

Busted 5 from the money. Had double average with 10 to the money. FML. I hate poker.11:51 PM Nov 3rd from Echofon

This is how I roll.

And there goes my positive attitude.

JDN