$340 + $10 Floor Staff Bonus Venetian Deep Stack Tournament

Is that Layne Flack on the left?

I get to the Venetian about an hour before the start of the tourney to meet up with a hot MILF for breakfast. The inherent problem with MILFs is the whole kids "thing."

Damn toddlers got me stood up.

I did the next best thing and had breakfast with old man Katkin. Not nearly as hot but at least he puts out.

12K in chips, 40 minute levels, here we go.

Table 29 seat 2

And the table breaks. Damn it. It's the greatest table evar! 3 old people who are clueless, a couple of young dudes swinging the poker cocks around, a female Asian commerce player and a crazy agro middle aged white chick. Epic.

I make a couple thousand before the table breaks and I'm sent out to the loud ass casino.

Table 67 seat 6

Table draw:
Seat 1: RWG
Seat 2: Random Internet Nerd
Seat 3: Random Internet Nerd #2
Seat 4: empty
Seat 5: empty
Seat 6: JDN
Seat 7: ROWG from the first table.
Seat 8: Random Club Bro. Affliction shirt, check. Muscles, check. Bad tattoos, check. Bad hair, check.

And my table breaks. WTF?!

At least I pick up aces on the last hand before the table breaks.

New table 45 seat 5

Table draw:
Seat 1: RWG with sunglasses and a hat.
Seat 2: RWG with sunglasses and a hat.
Seat 3: RWG with bad skin and thinning hair.
Seat 4: Random Latino Guy with sunglasses.
Seat 5: JDN
Seat 6: Random Internet Nerd
Seat 7: RWG
Seat 8: RLG with sunglasses and a hat.
Seat 9: RWG with sunglasses and a hat.
Seat 10: RWG with sunglasses and a hat.

I see a theme here.

The idiot in seat 8 just announced that he folded a set of 6s on a flop 6 5 4. He's such a r'tard, that I believe him.

Just saw the greatest hand ever! EVAR!

The R'tard in seat 8 raises to 850 with blinds at 100/200. The slow guy in seat 9 calls but he can't count so it takes about 3 minutes to get his chips out past the blind. I fold my big blind, Tc4c, and the flops falls Qh Th 6h.

The R'tard bets 300 and the slow guy snap moves in for 10K. Wait! What?

All kinds of awesomeness going down on this table.

21K at break.

Argument about playing brick breaker while in a hand just broke out between the r'tard, floor, and the ROWG in seat 10. I swear I'm riding the short bus.

Blargh. I raise to 1100 in early position with 55 and slow guy moves in for just under 7K. Then the big guy in the Phillies hat moves all in for less than 5K. Meh.

I call. The slow guy shows KQ off and the big guys shows AJ off. I got no chance.

The flop is K T Q. Slow guy walks away.

Blank blank and big guy rakes the main pot and someone has to grab the slow guy and tell him he's won the side pot.

Still got 26K.

Random Club Bro gets moved to my table.

Dude!

Sweet!

With blinds at 300/600 50 I'm on the big blind and the old guy in seat 10, who I now realize is wearing two hats, limps. The big guy in seat 2 raises to 2500. And then I pick up a tell...

Every time this middle aged woman comes over and talks to him he raises the hand. She's a mildly attractive 45 year old with a exposed midriff and a midlife crisis bellybutton piercing swimming around in her loose 2.3 kids belly skin.

He wants to tap that. But they're just friends.

Obv he's in love. He wants to show off.

I reraise to 8000 with Kh7h. I don't mind if the old guy with two hats moves in for his 10K. I just want smack the big guy with a boner down.

They both fold. Ha ha!

Embarrassing iPod song of the day: Clumsy by Fergie.

33K at break.

Just from break I loose 25K with JJ vs KK. The razor sunglasses lady to my left just flat called my reraise of 6500 and snap shoved on the flop of T 9 3.

It looked like a stop'n'go, which I gave her credit for knowing what that was.

15k as the table breaks.

Don't last long at this table as I'm blinded down to 8 big blinds before a I shove with Jd4d from the small blind. I hit a 4 at least.

Gonna go home and do this.

JDN

$340 Venetian Deep Stack

It's a bright and sunny day in Vegas. Everything is new and clean. I'm wearing some nice clean Air Max 95s. I put new music on my iPod. The dogs let me sleep till 11am.

All is good.

I get to the Venetian but I forgot my players card. No worries. I'll just get another one from the guy at the table that looks like Jimmy Fricke's mini me.

I buy in for $340 and the TD tells me that it's $350 if I want the extra 2000 in chips for the dealer bonus. I say no thanks. (mostly cause I'm too lazy to dig through my pocket to find another $10).

After they take the 2000 out if my stack I realize that my iPod isn't charged. But that's ok, I have a back up. It's all good.

$10,000 in chips, 40 minute levels.

Table 16 seat 6

Table draw aka Holy shit I swear I'm in Atlantic City!:

The table is full bedazzled shirts and looks to be 80% east coasters. This should a great table.

Annnnd then it breaks. But that's ok, the next table is going to be even better.

I get to the new table with 9725.

Table 71 seat 9

Table draw:
Seat 1: Random Black Guy wearing a WSOPC ring on each hand. Tacky!
Seat 2: Random White Guy with an Ed Hardy shirt.
Seat 3: Random Older White Guy with a Jagermiester hat on.
Seat 4: Random Younger White Guy with a voice like Louis Armstrong.
Seat 5: Random Asian Guy. SAG factor: low. Ed Hardy shirt is a go!
Seat 6: Random White Guy with lots of studs and shiny things on his hat and shirt. Brand unknown.
Seat 7: Random Older White Guy.
Seat 8: A younger version of Miami John that doesn't speak English.
Seat 9: JDN
Seat 10: Busted as soon as I sat down.

Hey there's Jon Friedberg! He comes over say hi and I pick up AK. Sweet! I get it all in on the river when the board runs out 8s 7c Kc 7h Ad. The RBG with the rings calls and I double up. Thanks Friedberg.

A few hands later Friedberg is back after busting on his first hand played and I pick up KK and take down the 10k pot on the turn.

Wow Friedberg is a lucky bitch. We should go to the craps table. Lady luck is on my side when he's around.

24k at break.

Back from break and I see a raised multiway flop with AK. The flop comes out Ad Kh 2h. The Ed Hardy Asian, who, btw also has an Ed Hardy hoodie and was the original raiser, bets out 2400. I raise him to 6500. Rest of the table folds.

He moves all in. I call and he shows AQ. Dominated. Sahweet!

The turn is a Q. But it's ok. I know I'm not going to get bad beat.

The river is a 3. See? Positive thinking. It works for me sometimes.

Dave Stann aka Hollywood Dave is at the table behind me and he just got the floor called on him for too much ass crack. Ha. Guess he's trying to be a plumber too.

The super bedazzled/studded guy in seat 6 is officially the human rain delay.

Table break! I really liked that table. But it's ok because my next table will be even better.

Nothing really interesting going on at table 53 except the Asian guy in seat 7 with about 70k in front of him.

I'm back in seat 9.

I bust a guy for a 20k pot when my A high flush bests his J high flush

Now I got 70K.

4:10pm: iPod dies. But it's ok. I have a backup.

A little over 70K at break.

Thinking about betting on the Fedor fight.

After break I decide to turn up the heat on these motherfuckers... Heineken!

Then the waitress forgets my beer. But it's ok. She'll be back around in no time.

I run my first successful bluff of the day when I fire a bullet on turn and river on a board of A Q Q K 2 with 33. I put the big guy in seat 6 on a weak ace or a medium pair. He checked every street to me so I knew he didn't really like his hand and I knew he didn't have a queen after the check call on the turn.

9000 value looking bet on river and he folds it.

88K.

The super SAG in seat 7 is trying his hardest to dust off all his chips. He's sitting on 30k now. Down 100k. Oops.

I dunno if it was a bad play or not but I check raised a guy on a K 7 Q to 15000 with AJ. He tanked it for a few minutes before saying nice hand and putting all his chips in the middle. Moron. He had KJ and it held.

Down to 60k. But that's ok because I'm still 20k above average.

I bust the crazy Asian lady in seat 10 with 55 vs her AQ. I get about 24k from her.

I go into the break with about 90k.

First hand after break the Super SAG raises to 11600 under the gun with blinds at 800/1200. Wait what?

I look down at JJ. The SAG has about 30k left and he's so damn fishy. I raise to 30K. It gets back around to him and he calls pretty quick with the Ac6c.

:-)

He flops a 6 but I river a jack. Haha!

126K. Yeah boy!

Overheard in the bathroom at break: Did you guys pee on your fingers?

Stopped taking notes after dinner break because I ate at Chipotle and went into food coma. My phone was also dying so I twitted a little bit and here they are:

120k at dinner break. Average 50k. 88 players left. 36 pay. I like my spot.
7:37 PM Nov 3rd from Echofon

Rocking 160k with 50 players left got a bunch of Internet nerds at my table.10:41 PM Nov 3rd from Echofon

Busted 5 from the money. Had double average with 10 to the money. FML. I hate poker.11:51 PM Nov 3rd from Echofon

This is how I roll.

And there goes my positive attitude.

JDN