$225 PLO8 at the Golden Nugget

First of all I would to point out that the Lakers won game 7 of the NBA finals last night I may or may not have drank a few too many Heinekens during said game.



Be forewarned!

Table 16 seat 9.
Holy shit this table is small. Apparently we're on a stud table. Who's genius idea was to have a PLO game on a stud table?

12,000 in chips (I think, can't be bothered to count) and 40 minute levels (i think, I can't be bothered to turn around and look at the clock.)

Table draw:
Seat 1: RWG
Seat 2: empty
Seat 3: Random Euro... Oops, he's busto.
Seat 4: RWG
Seat 5: RAG who got all of the Euro's chips
Seat 6: RWG with a grizzly Adams beard who thinks we play all the time together at the Bike.
Sear 7: RWG who's falling asleep at the table.
Seat 8: RWG aka the Hillbilly. Y'all.
Seat 9: JD fuckin N. Respect bitches.

I decide to play more aggressive poker today. I wonder how horribly this will fail.

I guess we started with 10k in chips. I finally turned around and looked at the clock.

Hey that means I have more than starting stack! Sahweet!

Grizzly Adams beard guy is officially the worst PLO8 player ever. He's followed closely by the Hillbilly. They just played a 10k pot that was won by a pair of kings.

The fatest dealer in the nugget is now at our mini table. Thank gawd this is the first table to break.

Grizzly Adams has a lisp and it's fuckin' hilarious.

Brainfart! I'm out.

I played a hand so badly that I'm embarrassed to recount it here.

So I run over to Binions to play the $500 HORSE.

Table 21 seat 7

It smells like French toast in here.

20K in chips, aiyeah! That's a lot of nuts. 20 mins per game. Lame. That means we'll be playing 3 times as many hand of hold'em compared to any other game. Laaaaaame.

Table draw:

Seat 1: Frumpy looking white guy. FLWG?
Seat 2: Ginger Canadian who won the $1500 HORSE last year at the WSOP
Seat 3: RYPG who I've played with before.
Seat 4: RWG. Kinda frumpy but it's a HORSE tournament at Binions. What else should have I expected?
Seat 5: ROWG
Seat 6: Random Old Black Guy with a frumpy white mustache.
Seat 7: JD Brianfart N
Seat 8: Random White Lady with hairy forearms.

I put on a stud 8 clinic to go on a 8k upswing and go into the break with 26K.

Table break!

I get moved to table 19 seat 4. Frumpy white mustache guy is here and I'm sitting between two women. Indeed!

Our 1st hand of Omaha takes almost 6 minutes to complete. The dealer sucks as I had to tell him to stack the chips up for a split pot game and he waited till the river to do it.

And he shuffles slow. Bah!

Man this a redonkalous structure. We're already at 500/1000. Average is 22k. 22 big blinds per person and only 5 hours into the tourney.

I sound like Allen Kessler.

Finally get a playable razz hand but it's the first hand of stud. Getting blinded down fast. Lame!

On the last hand before break in stud 8 I get heads up with one of the table idiots. With 4 clubs showing I bet 3000 on 6th street. Seat 6 calls.

On 7th street I bet blind and make sure he sees it. Numbnuts tanks for all of 1 minute and calls with two pair 9s and 7s. Moron. I hope I hit that flush.

I look at my last card it's a 3. They that's trip 3s. Ship it!

I play goot!

30K on break.

I go on but of a heater in hold'ed and get up to 42k before I get cold decked by seat 9 in hands to go back down to 30k.

Bah!

Holy jeebus! We've already lost half the field.

Well I played that omaha hand poorly. 9 high flush and seat 9 called me down with aces full. 19k.

Just saw a guy get all in during razz with 10 9 10 showing vs A A 2, and he was actually ahead but ended up losing.

I guess I just save all my big hands for the last of the level. I get a guy all in with A 2 3 6 Q vs seat 4's A 2 3 4 T. Shit. I thought I was way ahead. Thank gawd for the 5 on 7th that gave me the pot.

35K.

Then I manage to lose 9k on the first hand of stud I play vs what could be Allen Kessler's older brother.

Then I have buried aces with a ten showing and the Frumpy guy from the 1st table calls with Q showing.

4th street is another ace. Bet. Call.

On 5th I hit an 8. Bet. Call.

6th brings another 8. He now has a pair of 3s on the board so I have to figure him for queens up. I check. He bets.

I raise him to 12,000, yeah blinds are big, and I only have 300 left.

He calls the 300 on 7th and the pot is shipped to me! 52K.

Yeah boy! I'm above average with 33 peeps left.

42K going into dinner break.

Think I ate a gut bomb at dinner. Might puke. I probably deserve it for eating at a fast food Indian place on Fremont Street.

First hand I play in hold'em I got 2 red queens. Big blind calls the raise.

The flop is As Ks 8s. Check. I bet. Call.

The turn is the Kc. Check check.

Guy checks in the dark.

River is the Qc. Ding!

Bet. Call. I show my hand. He shakes his head in disbelief. Well, that's what happens when you let me get free cards. Haha!



We consolidate down to 3 tables.

I got 60K and average is 66,666.

The last hand of hold'em, again, and Allen Kessler's older brother raise from the button. The small blind moves all in for 11K.

I call with Ac8c.

The Chainsaw's bro says "complete" and gets the bet up to 14K.

I call. The flop is Jc Tc Js.

Bet. Call.

The turn is 5s. Bet. Call.

The river is 3s. The guy that was all in walks away. I bet. The bro disgustingly throws his hand away.

I show my A8 to collect the pot and he yells, "that beats me!"

Lol. 95K.

Down to 16 peeps. I got 126K.

And after 2 hands of razz I'm out. With levels at 5,000/10,000 I get fucked with a wheel draw on 4th street in the 1st hand. In the 2nd hand, I think I river a wheel but I forgot that I need a 3 and now I have bull shit.

So... fucking... frustrated...



JDN

$560 PLO8 at the Venetian

Had a late night dinner last night for a friend's birthday at Rare 120 at the Hard Rock and it's not sitting too well with me. First of all it gave me weird dreams.

I was invited to church with Gavin Smith. And I went. I know. Weird. My high school friend's Norwegian wife was there also.

After trying to find a parking place and introductions to the blue haired ladies of the congregation, we all stood up, held hands and walked over to the bountiful buffet. I reminded myself not to drink the cool aid.

Then I woke up with a stomach ache and a dreadful feeling that I had missed my tee time. The thing was, there was no golf scheduled on this day.

I was tripping balls. I blame the lobster quesadilla appetizer from last night. It got me fuuuucked up. (I've never said that about a food before)

After clearing away the cobwebs I head down to The Venetian for today PLO8 tournament. In the car I manage to spill orange juice AND cream cheese all over my shirt.

This is gonna be a trainwreck of a day.

15,000 in chips to start, 40 minute levels, and a decent structure. Sweet.

Table 65 seat 4

Table draw:

Seat 1: Random Fat White Guy. Big one. Same shape as Humpty Dumpty.
Seat 2: RYWG
Seat 3: Random Persian Guy
Seat 4: JDN
Seat 5: RWG with bad breath. Why are they always sitting next to me?
Seat 6: Random White Lady with bleached blond hair and bruises on her flabby overly tanned upper arms.
Seat 7: Random Asian Guy. Low SAG possibilities.
Seat 8: Jason Stern. I swear this guy is stalking me.
Seat 9: RWG

I swear I always have to sit next to some douche bag with dragon breath that doesn't know how to brush his teeth or how to eat a Tic Tac. He's horrible at this game too so hopefully I will bust his Breath Savor needing ass.

I'm slightly torturing Humpty Dumpty. Not playing big pits but just keeping him off balance so he keeps giving me chippies.

20K at break.

I have bottom set hold up against seat 2's top two nut low and nut flush draw to get up to 25K. That hand never holds up! Woot.

190 runners for today's tourney. That's pretty amazing for a new game that blossoming on the tourney circuit.

24K for 1st. I have goal.

Humpty Dumpty had a fire lit under his ass in the 200/400 level and raised every hand until the RPG busted him after they both flopped broadway and it came runner runner diamonds. Can't put it back together after that BS.

It's limped to me in the big blind and check with the monster hand of 9997. To make my hand worse the Th was exposed before the flop.

Since I brought this hand up, you have to assume the last 9 flopped. I did. 9 3 2 board. And I had top set. So I pot it to 1200 and the kid in seat 2 repots to 5k or so. He's only got 3K behind so I put him all in guessing at best he's got an under set or a wrap.

He shows 3457. Got some outs to dodge.

Turn 3. Sweet.

River King. Scooooop!

34K.

Table break and I move to table 64 seat 6. The next table to break. Bah!

Table 64 is a fairly tight table. Every other preflop pot is winning the blinds.

I bet it up to 1700 with AAQ8. The big blind, a RYWG in seat 2, calls.

Flop is Q 4 6. He checks. I bet 2700 he calls.

Turn is a J. He checks. I check thinking he's gonna hang himself if a face card falls.

River is a 9. Gotcha bitch. He bets 7000 and I quickly call. He shows A239. Ship it.

Table breaks.

Table 76 Seat 3.

Big pot on the last hand before break. I raise to 2100 with As3sKcJc and get called in two spots before the big blind, seat 9, repots it to 11,100.

I read seat 9 for mild retardation, so I put him on a bad A2 hand.

I call, so does the Euro in seat 6. The small blind is short and is getting the right price, but he folds. Later he said he had aces.

The flop falls 4 J 6 two diamonds. Seat 9 jams it in for about 7k. I repot to isolate and the Euro folds.

Mr 9 shows A28K two diamonds. Oops. I don't like my hand so much now. I'm ahead. Barely.

Turn 6. Lame.

River King no diamond. Aiyeah. Chop it.

49,400 at break.

Get moved to a new table with about 60K.

There's two old dudes here just shipping it with naked low draws and they're both sitting on 100K stacks.

I try to catch them and end up giving away half my stack before missing a low draw and busting.

Very disappointed. Gonna go beat my dog.

JDN

Binion's PLO8 $200

I show up at Binion's at 12:03pm and there's no one in the poker room...

Fuck cock shit!

It doesn't start till 2pm. Damn it.

Guess I'll wander around Fremont St for 2 hours.



Once on Fremont St it takes of 3 minutes for someone to offer me some "really dank ganja.".

No thanks. I'll go to the "dank" El Cortez and play pai gow. Truthfully I had no idea how I got there but $5 pai gow seemed like the right thing to do with 2 hours to kill downtown.

1:45pm, I walk out of the El Cortez down $3.75. Only in pai gow is that possible.

Table 14 seat 9

15,000 in chips (cool) and 30 minute levels (that's a little quick).

Table draw:
Seat 1: Robert Goldfarb
Seat 2: RWG
Seat 3: RYWG, looks like an Internet Nerd
Seat 4: ROWG
Seat 5: Jason Stern
Seat 6: Random Latino Guy
Seat 7: Random Black Guy
Seat 8: RWG
Seat 9: JDN. I hate seat 9. Bah!

I manage to have the 2nd best hand every time I see the river and I'm down to 10k at the end of the second level.

Gonna have to play tighter now.

And I'm out. Flopped top set of kings vs old guy with a naked low draw and he hits runner runner straight and didn't even know it. Old guys are awesome.

Golden Nugget $225 PLO8

I felt like shit today so I didn't write anything about the tournament.

I basically played the short stack all day and busted with about 15 to the money.

So I'll leave you with a picture of the Jewish Brett Michaels.

JDN

Back at it. Kinda.

I pretty much gave up poker for the last 4 months to play video games and gain several pounds around my mid section. I considered not playing ever again but then I sobered up and figured I should give it another go round.

The only problem... I'm broke. Bankroll is nonexistent and I can't really pin point the exact reason for my financial failures but I sure it has to do with the fact I don't have the ability to balance a check book. Never mind that I don't have a job and no prospects of any sorts. So any of the WSOP tournies are out of the question so this summer. Looks like I'll playing at the Nugget this year.

There's several PLO8 tournaments spread between the various casino this summer and my goal to play as many of those as I can. I can probably find someone to buy my action in the WSOP $1500 and $5000 PLO8 events but I won't worry about those quite yet.

I'll also probably play some cash games, and a few Venetian tournaments along the way.

Soooo... Prepare for a summer full of fail!

In other news:

I was on Jon Friedberg's Under the Gun show that hosted by Card Player. Gavin Smith is also a guest and we talk about how bad our softball team is and some other shit that I have really right discussing in public.

Check out Under the Gun: Softball and Sponsorship Deals

And just a couple of days ago, I was on again, this time with Jeff Madsen and Joe Tehan as we played the Savage Invitational Golf Tournament in Temecula. (godamnit I look fat)

15th Annual Savage Golf Tournament

I shot like a cripple over the 3 days so I won't go through the pain of listening to me bitch about missing a put, drive, and or chip. I shot on average, 110 over the 3 days. So I'll just do a photo easy with some funny captions.

Day 1: Cross Creek Golf Course

1 good golfer and 3 morans.. Tehan is the good one btw.


Friedberg decides to pee next to the restrooms.


My closest to the pin for the bad players. Also got a skin this day but I don't know what hole.


After finishing the first day, I decided to celebrate with some poison oak in the eye.

Day 2: Red Hawk Golf Course


Day 2 sucked ass so this is only picture of the day. I wore pink. Nuff said.

Day 3: Journey at Pechanga


Lots of gambling going on today. Probably the funnest round of golf I've played.


Teh Ghey


Another closest to the pin for the bad players. Got half a skin here too


The 6th hole. Amazing.


Madsen looking for his ball on the 6th hole.


Friedberg showing off for Tehan's gf Lisa


Madsen's water shot. Took two tries.


My biggest golf win evar! $640.


And finally... Pechanga, WTF?

JDN