Heartland Poker Tour Main Event

I win $100 playing video poker before the start of the tourney, so this trip to the Red Rock Casino won't be a total waste no matter what.

I get to my seat, the tourney starts, I win a couple of hands, I'm feeling good... And the... Holy Shit!!

I jump outta my seat and b-line it to the restroom.

I pass Tiffany-Michelle on the way and say, "hicanttalkGOTTAPOOP!!!"

I make it to a clean vessel no less than two seconds from detonation.

Whyaaaaaaaarrrrfgggghhhhhhhh!!!!1!



Once back in the pokerroom, I feel 5 pounds lighter and ready to get it going!

So I promptly bluff off 7K in chips while I was playing the board. I put the guy on a flush draw and when it didn't get I was agressible. He made the crying call on a paired board with middle pair.

Table 8 Seat 7

15,000 in chips, 40 minute levels, shitty structure.

Table draw:

Seat 1: RWG. I've taken half of his chips, then handed them over to seat 8.
Seat 2: ROWG that I played with in the super satellite. He sucks.
Seat 3: ROWG sporting the gold necklace and hairy chest circa 1983
Seat 4: Doug "The Toolbox" Lee
Seat 5: ROWG aka Shakes. His hands are twitching like a mofo.
Seat 6: Vinny Vinh. He smells like stale cigarettes.
Seat 7: JDN
Seat 8: RWG who I gave 7K to for being r'tarded.
Seat 9: Random Asian Guy, def not a SAG.
Seat 10: RPG

Doug Lee out! He play bad.

17K at break.

Down to 11,500 by virtue of checkdowns. Awesome.

I think I lose the minimum preflop with TT in the big blind when the RPG in seat 10 limp reraises to 12K. He shows AA.

8K.

Vinny Vinh out. So is the Poker Kat.

6K. I don't like this trend.

Jon Friedberg get moved to the table next to me and has 50K. FML.

The old guy that took Vinny Vinh's seat is wearing a WSOP bracelet. It had to be the seniors event in 92.

I move all in with 77 in early position and everyone folds. Pussys.

Its raised by the button while I'm in the small blind with QJ and I snap move in for the rest of my chips. The button snap calls with KQ.

GG.

JDN

Bellagio 2K

The bellagio's clocks seem to be 10 minutes slow. So I spend that time discussing the pros and cons of the pirate vs ninja debate with Brian Devonshire and Tiffany Michelle. I'm a ninjaman myself where as they're pirate peeps.

Table 48 Seat 1 (I hate seat 1)

6K in chips to start with hour levels. I likey.

Table draw:
Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: rwg drinking an O'douls
Seat 3: random skinny white guy with a Bengals hat. That's pretty much means he a masochist. He also kinda looks like a healthy Darrel Dicken.
Seat 4: rwg whose jowls jiggle when he's nervous.
Seat 5: rwg
Seat 6: rwg with a mercedes hat on. I would bet that he doesn't own a mercedes. Judging by his play, there's no way he has one. He skipped the chapter on betting and pretty much just throws two over sized chips out whenever he bets.
Seat 7: rwg
Seat 8: rwg with a saftey orange colored hat on. I saw him talking to Alex Jacob in the registration line so I will assume that he's got some game because "The Fro" doesn't associate with donks.
Seat 9: rowg. I've played with him before but I can't remember if he's any good. Probably not.

It's pretty rare to play a bellagio tourney and not know anyone at my table.

My read on the mercedes guy was right on. He busts 25 mins into the first level. Oops. He's replaced by Can Kim Hua.

Now there's a familiar face and I can just imagine that's he's gonna come out firing. Aaaaand he does.

It cost him half his stack in his first orbit to the kid in the orange hat. Double good read on my part.

Still in the first level with blinds at 25/50, the old broham in seat 9 limps in earlish position. I looked down at 22 and throw my 50 in. It's called by a couple other guys too.

The flop falls A 2 5. The old dude leads out and I briefly consider raising before just calling. Everyone else get out of the way and I call again on the Q turn.

I really put him on A5 here. He would raise with a AT or higher and don't think he's going to limp with AA or AK. The possibility of 55 comes up but I quickly dismiss it because set under set doesn't happen that often.

The river is a T and be bets 1K. It's immpossible for him to have KJ here so I raise him to 2500. He quickly calls and shows 55. G'damn!! That was my first live flopped set in at least a month.

Lucky for me he's one of those old guys that always thinks he's beat and he didn't reraise me.

Can Kim Hua bust shortly there after and he's replaced by fuckwit. The first thing fuckwit says is that he cracks Allen Kesslar's aces with 7s. Now how bad of a player do you have to be if you call Allen's all in preflop with 7s? Pretty damn bad.

3250 going into the second level.

Fuckwit keeps things moving at the table by raising the first 7 hands he saw. I saw him limp under the gun with T2 and raise early with 86. So basically he's never seen a hand he didn't like.

Sooooo I'm on the big blind and seat 5 limps, fuckwit raises to 400 and gets call by the old guy in seat 9, myself and seat 5. I've got 4d4s. The flop comes 2h 5s 8h. Check check check and fuckwit bets 1K. Old dude folds and I push in for a hair less than 4K. Seat 5 thinks about it for a while, probably with the best hand, before folding. Fuckwit counts out the chips and says, "I feel lucky." Fuuuuuuck. He's got a 5. I show my 44 and he shows 45. Bah!

I hate the Bellagio.

JDN