BC Poker Championship AD (after dinner)

I thought it was Lloyd from Entourage

Play has slowed down considerably since we reached the big level of 150/300. Everyone has slowed down except for seat 2. He kicked it into high gear and began a raising and reraising fiasco. His inner SAG has emerged.

Maria Ho is talking to Lacey about "cute boys.". Thank gawd for headphones.

Tiffany Michelle comes over to Lacey and starts up the "cute boys" conversation again. Tiff has pictures on her cell phone of potentials.

Oops! I call off 6000 with AK vs KK. It was against the Ginger and I should have known better.

25,500 at break.

There's a guy walking around with half of his goatee shaved off. Someone lost a bet.

A few hands in I lose 2725 to gigantor hands when he hits a K on the turn to kill my jacks. At least he didn't crush my head with his bear paws.

I bust seat 1 with JJ vs his KQ. He only had 2125 so it was rather anti-climatic. I've busted 3 people at the table. That's all the bust outs here on table 12. I'm the only one doing work here. Canadian are lazy.

I bust seat 7 on a flop of 6h 2s 4h with 77 vs his 65. He bet out 1500 on the flop and called my raise to 5000 with 2500 behind. Math is hard.

I double up the new seat 1 on a flop of A K 9 with my AQ vs KK. Damn it. There's another 7k down the drain.

Lacey was getting drunk before she shoved from the button with 76. The blind called with aces but the flop fell 7 6 3. She still lost. Oops.

I end the day with $24,425. It's a little below average and there's 322 peeps left. There's was a brutal wait for the chips to get bagged as they all have to be verified by the floor. Takes 30 mins for us to get out of there.

Gavin had to talk to a fan's mom on the phone on the way out. LOL. Gavin has fans.

JDN

PS I waited till after we went out to post this because I knew something of interest would happen. It did. From the River Rock, Scott Wilson, Dr Mark, Gavin, and myself took a cab downtown to find some good eats. We gambled on the fair where each of us would take a 4th of the cents. If the fair landed on your range, you would have to pay. Dr Mark took 00 thru 25, Scott took 26 thru 50, Gav had 51 thru 74 and I had the top end. The fair ended up at $21.45 and Scott took it down. Snap.

We did the same at gamble on the dinner bill and we all took the same range and the bill was 346.40. Thank you Scott Wilson.

After dinner we went to find Devo at a club called The Cellar and we 3 way roshambo'd for the cover charge. Odd man out pays. Dr Mark had headed home at this point. We all threw scissors on the first throw and on the 2nd, Scott continued with the scissors while Gavin and I threw rock. Double snap. I freerolled the whole night.

In the club I ran into the douche bag that was sitting to my left all day and he invited me to an Asian whore house. He assured me that they we're clean. I'll pass thanks.

It didn't take long for his over eagerness to put Gavin on tilt and threats where made before the calm of Scott Wilson took over and drinks were served.

Outside, Devo played Breakfast at Tiffany's on some hobo's guitar and Gavin played the wheels on a guys wheelchair. Good Times

BC Poker Champioship in Vancouver Canada

I decided to skip the main event in Tahoe and fly to Canada to play the BC Poker Championship. (I was only allowed to come back to Canada when I promised the GF that there would not be a repeat of the shenanigans that occurred last time I was here.) And the dollar is strong in the great white north, so it's only like a $2000 tournament.

I'm not going to lie, I'm slightly hung over. I tried to take it east last night, and I thought I did but headache says no you didn't. Stupid head.

I slept in a little pass the start of the tournament to catch some extra Zs. Well that was the plan but Gsmith decided to kick in the bedroom door to wake me up. Fucker. Doesn't he know that the tournament starts at noon? In Canada that means 12:30.

I get down to the pokerroom at 12:45 and there's 45 minutes left in level 1. See? I only missed 15 minutes of play.

Table 12 seat 4

Table draw:

Seat 1: Older white Canadian guy. My read: not horrible but not good either.
Seat 2: white Canadian guy. My read: pretty much by the book. Tight and passive.
Seat 3: white Canadian guy that looks like Farva from supertroopers. My read: so so so bad. Has no concept to betting or raises and he looks like Farva.
Seat 4: jdn. My read: looks a little hung over.
Seat 5: white Canadian guy. My read: douche bag.
Seat 6: white Canadian guy. My read: tight agressive. He's reraised me twice and kept firing. Looks like he's playing premium hands.
Seat 7: white Canadian guy. A Ginger. Creepy. My read: I'm too creeped out to look at him or play hands with him.
Seat 8: older white Canadian guy. My read: playing a lot of hands compared to the rest of the table and he only fires a flop bullet if his hands whiffs.
Seat 9: tubby white Canadian guy. My read: his hands are huge! He could be a stunt double for Ben Grimm. I'm not sure how he's picking up his cards and chips without crushing them.
Seat 10: white Canadian dude. My read: tight passive. All these goofballs play the same. Why can't I get any chips?

I would have thought that it would be nearly impossible to draw a table without any Asians at it. I think it's a thousand to one to get an asianless table in Vancouver.

With our table lacking a SAG, the play is pretty tight. I think about taking a nap in between hands.

There's people watching the tournament from the balcony.

In the second level, with blinds at 50/100, it gets raised by the Ginger in early position to 400. Thing hands in seat 9 calls and seat 1 reraises to 1600. I look down at two red kings AKA Brokeback Mountain, and rereraise to 4000. It's folded back around to the second raiser in seat 1 and goes into the tank. I bet 4000 so that if he snapped moved in I could the hand preflop. But when he starts to tank I know he doesn't have AA. Prob queens.

He folds QQ face up. Snap.

I'd like to have that line about folding kings preflop stricken. I'm full of shit. I'm not folding those preflop in Canada.

14500 at break.

Farva got moved.

Level 3 and 4 were like a rollercoaster for me. Its a general theme in my life.

Somehow I got down to 8K calling down with top pair in a couple of situations. Then I get Jacks on the button. Seat 10 raises to 650, I call and so does the big blind. The flop falls Tc 6c 3s. Seat 6 checks, seat 10 bets 1600, I call, and then seat 6 check raises to 4000. Huh? Seat 10 quickly folds but I smell something fishy. This goofball has reraised me at least 6 times today.

I move all in for less than 8k. He calls and shows JT off. WTF buddy? I'll take it.

A few hands later, after he reraised me, I bust him with AK vs his 99. Haha sucker!

Lacey Jones gets moved to my left. That's an upgrade from Farva.

On the last hand of the level its folded to me on the button. I raise to 600 with T4 and get called by the big blind. I'm done with the hand. Really. I promise myself I'm done with it. The flop falls Q T 6 and its checked to me. OK! I lied. I bet 1K. He calls and bets out 2500 on the turn, which is a 4. Opps. I put him in and he calls with AT. Brick on the river and I've got 27000 at dinner break. woot!

JDN

Canada Part Duex

My cell phone is ringing. I can sleep through that. The room phone is rigging. Fuckers! This is a day off. No tournaments! I pick the phone. No ones there. Am I high? Cell phone rings again. Its Bobo.

"Come Down stairs. We're leaving in 15 min." He says. "... ok." I reply.

I get up. My head is pounding. I change the underroos but put on the same clothes from yesterday. No time for a shower. We're leaving in 15 minutes. We're the fuck are we going?

I stumble down stairs and meet up with Gavin, Bobo, Cowboy Kenna James, Lacey, and Devo. Where are we going?

I climb into the back of Gav's Escalade with Devo as Kenna drives and Lacey rides shotgun. Gavin and Bobo jump on their bikes and follow us. WTF?

"Devo!? Where are we going?" I ask. "Whistler." He replies.

Fuck. Thats not close. I'll take a nap.

About a half an hour into the ride I try to lay down in the back of the truck to get some real sleep. That lasts for all of 10 minutes before something in mah tummy starts to turn. I might vomit. Its an odd sensation for someone like me. I don't puke very often. Its probably been 5 years since my last hurl and its never because I drank too much. Usually its bad fish or sour cream that will make me toss my cookies.

I get back in my seat and roll down the window. This is really going to happen. Fuck. Its a child safe window and it only rolls half way down. I gotta turn my head sideways to get it out of the window. I see Gavin and Bobo behind us and I smile at them. Dry heave #1. After the 3rd one I let it rip. Baaarf!

Going 100 KPH and puking is an interesting experience. A first for me. The vomit basically sides down the side of the car and then kinda splash off the back end.

In between upchucks I look back at the guys on the bikes. Gavin is just shaking his head and Bobo is laughing his ass off. Probably not a good idea to being laughing while driving a motorcycle at 60 MPH.

Baaarf!

One of the onions that I ate last night makes an encore and sticks to the outside handle of the Escalade. That was good. I didn't want to lose that. Dang.

Once done with my evacuation, I roll the window back up and return to my seat. Lacey asks, "Are you ok?"

"I am now. Let's eat!" Yum!

After lunch we made our way up to Whistler and settled into a local pub that had the absolute worst food evar! I know that we had just had lunch but we needed more. The pizza was shit and according to Kenna the chicken wings were the driest thing he's ever put in his mouth...

Kenna also introduced us to his speech impediment. For whatever reason he liked to repeat words twice. It was like watching that old fast food commercial, "Double double cheese cheese burger burger please please."

He also couldn't say Devo's complete name in one breath. It was always, "Brian Devon... wait for it... shire." Or "Brian Devon of the Shire." Hobbit loving mofo.

Beer + hot sauce = goot!

Lacey earned the new nickname Hazey Jones for several responses of, "What? Why? Who?"

A bet was made on the breed of a dog sitting on the other side of the pub. Gavin deemed it to be a purebred and I called bullshit. $200 bet and Gavin was walking over to the owners. The dog stood up as he approached and I was praying for the dog to attack.

Gavin returned to the table and asked, "What's the defination of a mutt?"

"That dog over there." I responed. The dog was mix between a collie, a timber wolf, and a grey wolf. Who the hell put all those dogs together in the same pen? That's like a killer Lassie.

So wiki'ed the word mutt for further clarification and interestingly enough we stumbled upon the word "Mutta" which is swedish slang for vagina. And its on!

Poor Hazey... if she only knew what she was in for. Hazey, how's your mutta? How do you groom your mutta? Hazey, who's your mutta? Its a joke that didn't stop being funny for the entire trip. It got us in some trouble more than once and we pretty much asked every woman the question, "How's your mutta?" Juvenile at best but still damn funny.

Pic stolen from devopoker.com. Notice I'm wearing the same clothes.

On our way back to Vancouver Devo went into full hippy mode. Talking about how beautiful everything was. How it was so amazing that we saw a bobcat (ok bobcats are cool) and deer in the last few minutes. How he wanted to hike through the mountains. How I wanted to shoot him if he said one more thing was beautiful. Bah! Get me back to civilization and concrete. I need the internet. Connectivitly is a beautiful thing. There's trees all over the place. Hippy.

OK. Its kinda neat to look at. Gavin, Bobo and Kenna view the view. I'm considering pushing one of them over the edge.

Tomorrow is the $1k bounty tournament. My goal is to last past the 3rd level.

JDN

Canada Part 1

Canada used to be a place I would go to with $100 in my pocket and magically, when I crossed the border, I had $150. Not any more. When I was in Niagara Falls in Nov. the Canadian dollar was actually worth more than the US dollar. So poor.

Today the US dollar is worth $1.01 in Canadian. That’s not even including the vig that the casino charges you to exchange money. So we’re getting 96 cents Canadian for and a US dollar. I feel fleeced. I need a drink. As soon as I check into my room at the River Rock casino I call Gavin to see whats up.

I meet ole’ GSmith, Bobo, Lacey Jones, Brian Devonshire, Ryan, and the random Aussies that decided it was a good idea to drive from Vegas to Vancouver. There’s a reason we have planes people! So we don’t have to drive!

We hang around the casino that night and have a few drinks. A couple of drinks. Well… a lot of drinks. I make it to my room safe and sound and not forgetting to set my alarm before I drift off to neverland.

$500 No Limit Tournament

I'm not going to lie. I'm hung over. Little did I know that this was going to be a theme throughout this trip…

Table Draw!

Seat 1: Canadian
Seat 2: Asian Canadian
Seat 3: Canadian
Seat 4: Canadian
Seat 5: JDN
Seat 6: Asian Canadian
Seat 7: Canadian
Seat 8: Canadian
Seat 9: Asian Canadian
Seat 10: Canadian
Seat 11: Asian canadian

Yes were 11 handed. Aiyeah. I haven’t played 11 handed since my Hollywood Park days.

After 4 hands seat 1 asks the floor when is the break.

There must be some kind of outbreak here. Everyone is sniffling and coughing and hacking up green stuff. My table has turned into a disgusting version of Stomp.

The concept of preflop betting does not exist in Canada. Most players are betting 6 to 10 times the big blind preflop. This is great. Now if I could just stop calling the turn reraise I will be golden.

Seat 1 looks like a skinny sir Anthony Hopkins. He’s had aces twice and gotten all in preflop twice to bust two peeps. Blinds are 25/50.

A guy got moved our table and I swear he has the flying spaghetti monster tattoo on his arm. Or it’s an eagle next to the moon but the flying spaghetti monster would be much cooler.

Seat 1 busted another player. That's at least 3 for him and he's got 20k in chips already. My 2500 looks strong. Riiiight.

A few orbits later and I get my 77 in on a board of Q Q 4, thinking that it might be good but I’m drawing dead on the turn.

Well, at least now I can go back to sleep. Of course that doesn’t last long because my life partner, gavin, is soon to bust after me.

We gather the troops and head into downtown Vancouver for some food and fun. Have a few drinks. Meet some friends that live in DC. Have a few more drinks. We search for an open bar. Find an Irish pub that’s open late. Someone is making me drink Jager Bombs. Sebok’s not here so I’m not sure who’s giving them to me.

The last thing I remember was looking the up through the bottom of a beer mug with a shot glass in it.

Don't remember this being taken.

Don't remember how I did this.

I remember getting back to the casino to watch Devo win the $500 tournament. I also remember calling him a vagina for making a deal when it was 4 or 5 handed. The tournament staff was great though. They broke out the first aid kit to bandage my hand.

Before bed time I felt like playing some blackjack but the security at the casino wouldn't let me onto the casino floor cause I was too drunk. As I tried to walk in I was grabbed by the collar and the security guard told Gavin and Bobo that I couldn't go in there. He was just holding me by the collar and not even talking to me. All I heard him saying was, "I'm a guard. A guard... guard."

Like Gav was my handler. We walked away defeated but I felt like I won and I told the guard, "Thank you for not letting me in and letting lose my money!"

JDN