12.29.2008

Its kinda slow this time of year...

and I've been surfing the world wide web. A lot. I've seen things I shouldn't have and I've shared them with others. But the other day I came across this jpeg of Erick Lindgren's senior year picture.



Needless to say, it looks like Erick chose to forgo the thespian route.

JDN

12.21.2008

I hate christmas..

but this is kinda funny. Staring yours truly, Jeremiah Smith, Layne Flack, Gavin Smith, and a monkey.



Happy Holidays from Poker WTF!

12.16.2008

Weekend Activities in North Hollywood (Updated with video link)

Hi everyone, normally this blog is about poker tournaments, bust outs, bad beats, sick Asian gamblers, JDN not being able to muck bottom pair etc. Well not tonight, LA Mike is really emotional right now. I just found out that I missed the secret show that The Cure played in Hollywood on Saturday night. Wtf, I run so damn bad. 3 f'n hours of The Cure in a tiny, standing room only venue. My Christmas was just ruined...GG life.

But I have a special Christmas/Hanukkah present for anyone who has had the pleasure of being seated at a poker table with 'Hollywood' Dan errr Dave. Chances are the blackjack pro turned poker wannabe has berated you at the table whether it be online or live. Well, 'Hollywood' won a tourney online and wanted to celebrate in style. It's fairly well known, I hate partaking in cocktails but what was I to do? He wanted to celebrate his win! So myself, Melissa and Dom who I was hanging out with, hit the streets during Winter Storm '08 even though it was already like 1:15am. By the way, I've never seen the news blow a little bit of rain so much out of proportion.

Being that we live in LA and the bars close at the stupid hour of 2am, (you can't buy alcohol from the store past 2am either) we were only able to get 2 drinks in so we had to take the celebration to a residence.

Combining that you can't buy alcohol past 2am and that the private residence is occupied by Melissa, well lets just say she really likes alcohol. In fact, the night before she downed an entire bottle of Grey Goose so we knew the alcohol supply was pretty low. On hand, we had some beer, a big bottle of champagne and some peppermint schnapps. That was all. Brutal beat! We so weren't prepared for this impromptu HD celebration.

Time to improvise. Melissa and I spot a homeless man who had just purchased a bottle of vodka outside a store. Thankfully, he hadn't dug into it yet (as I'm super OCD and a germ-o-phobe). We pull up next to him and offer him cash for the bottle. Seems like a good deal for everyone especially since he told us he just got out of jail the previous day. I ask how much he paid for it, he says like $20. I offer him $40...which actually ended up being $38 or $39 but whatever. We score the bottle and I proceed to pour him some vodka into his juice bottle. We bolt toward Melissa's place, score one for the good guys!

The four of us proceed to polish off some of the alcohol and random prop betting ensues. Believe it or not, 'Hollywood' brought up being tased and low and behold, Melissa happens to own a taser. I mean, why wouldn't she right? After about an hour of deliberation, Melissa charged up the taser and it was going to be aimed at 'Hollywood'. This video was apparently taken at the scene. It is not intended for a youth audience but more so for peeps who have been berated by 'HD' at the tables over the years!

One other thing I wanted to add in this blog was something I saw on the very popular craigslist. It was an entry titled "Professional Witness". I personally found it absolutely hilarious. Check it out at http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/lgs/958055676.html

Happy Holidays to all...Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Quanza etc... and a very safe New Year!

Video update: For some reason the video won't upload but I've provided the next best thing. Here's a link to the video. Remember, this is a rather disgusting sight and shouldn't be viewed by kids or anyone with a faint heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9InCBih1opw

12.15.2008

Bellagio 5 Diamond day 2

Woke up this morning and it was snowing. Yes. Snowing in Las Vegas. On Dec. 15. Global warming my ass.

Knew I would see this today.



Table 64 seat 7
(that's the table on the stage)

Table draw... Good god

Seat 1: Ralph Perry
Seat 2: Internet kid who shops at urban outfitters. He's wearing a "It's good to be gangsta" hoodie.
Seat 3: Devon Porter, him again.
Seat 4: Doyle Brunson
Seat 5: Carlos Mortensen
Seat 6: younger Asian guy that I recgonize
Seat 7: JDN
Seat 8: Eric Cajelais or Eric Casualgay as Roland de Wolfe calls him.
Seat 9: random Asian guy

Jeebus. How do I play this table? I guess I either play crazy tight or crazy crazy. We'll how this first level goes before I make that decision.

Devon porter is starting to look a little like Roland de Wolfe.

Clonie Gowen and Howard Lederer are at the same table. Ohhhh I wish my table would break and I could move there.

Seat 9 busts when Carlos runner runners a flush on him. The failed musician from day 1 takes his seat.

Carlos is taking over the table. I sooo happy I'm on his left. Not that it would matter with the cards I'm getting.

38,400 at break. Completely card dead.

Special shout out to BJ Nemeth for letting charge my iPod during break.

The failed musician gets he kings cracked by Devon's 88. Haha. Payback is a bitch mofo!

With blinds at 500/1000 with a 100 ante, I look down at 55 under the gun and raise it to 3000. Doyle calls from the button. The flop falls 9h 8h 4s. I bet out 5000 think that he's got two overs and I could pick this pot up, even though I missed the set for at least the 30th time in a row. Doyle calls. Opps.

The turn is the Qd. I bet out quickly, throwing 11,000 out. Hope he doesn't have a queen. He folds. Sweet! That's the second hand I've won today. Back up 41k.

The very next hand, Eric Casualgay limps under the gun. Doyle, Carlos, and the small blind call. I check the option with 67. The flop comes 6 5 4. I likely. Check check, Eric bets 4k. Here comes my check raise... but the small blind calls. Arrgh. I just call. The turn is a 2. Small blind checks and I bet out 7500.

Now this is where I decided to move in if I get raised. Eric thinks about it for a while. He's shrugging his shoulders, counting out his chips, even thing picking up the cards like he's going to fold. He does that twice. Odd. He finally raises to about 22k, I didn't even bother to look really. As long as the small blind folds I'm going to snap move in. Small blind folds.

"All in."

Out of the corner of my eye I see Eric roll his eyes. Then he counts out his chips, calls, and asks if I got the nuts. I love when people call an all in and think they're losing. Now if I could just have a winning hand. One time.

He shows 33 for the 6 high straight. Ok. He took away two of my outs. I orginally thought he had an over pair or AsKs. The turn would have given him a flush draw. Obv, I was effected by that check raise bluff from Vancouver. Still got six outs.

The river is a red jack. GG.

This is only hand during the whole tournament where I was in the position to suck out and I didn't get there. WTF?

JDN

12.14.2008

Bellagio Doyle something Diamond something 15K

I planned to arrive a few minutes late but I forgot that the bellagio's clocks are 10 minutes slow, so I arrived 20 minutes early. Go figure.

I lose 3100 preflop to Dan Shak. It was folded to me on the button. After standard raise to 300 with QQ, Dan raises to 1300. Hmmm. I'm not sure how he plays, but he could probably do that with a lot of hands.

I reraise to 3100 and he rereraises to 8100. So poor. I look down at his ipod and he's listening to ABBA. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is. I fold my queens face up and he shows kings. Pfffft!

Table draw:

Table 56 seat 6


Seat 1: rwg with a leather jacket. He looks like a failed musician.
Seat 2: rowg with a hat that says "GIBO" on it. I not going to assume the OBV and say that he's just a big fan of gibbons and ran out of money and or space on the hat to write the full word out.
Seat 3: massive white dude with an Oklahoma hoodie on. Wow. They grow them big in the cowboy state. He totally could play the Blob in the new Wolverine movie.
Seat 4: Jon "pearljammer" Turner. A ginger.
Seat 5: rwg. Probably an accountant.
Seat 6: jdn
Seat 7: Dan "my wife has giant boobs" Shak
Seat 8: rywg definitely and Internet nerd
Seat 9: rwg trying to be euro. Fail!
Seat 10: I think it's Devon Porter. He's wearing FTP and cardrunners gear. So he could be any of those guy. Maybe he's Cole Trickle.

In middle position I raise to 300 with AQ and get called by Internet kid in seat 8 and pearljammer in seat 4. The flop comes Q Q 5. Check, check, 525 from seat 8 and a call from pearl. Really?

After a moment of thought I raise to 1200. Seat 8 folds and pearl reraises to 3000. Wait what?

There's no way I'm folding this hand and if he's got 55, so be it. I'm just going to call him down. So I call.

The turn is a 4 and he bets 3600. I quickly call. After a 9 on the river, he checks it to me. Wait what?

I'm confused. I decide to play it safe and not give him the option to check raise me. I check. Pearljammer says nice hand and mucks. Sweet!

Our dealer Janet looks like she's from DragonBall Z. She not afraid to use hair gel for effect.

47825 at break. That's good

Big hand (that I avoid)! Pearljammer raises to 525, seat 5 makes it 1750. I look down a two black nines. Screw it. I fold. Seat 8, turns out to be Coby Slowball or something reraises to 4600. Seat 10, now confirmed as Devin Porter, rereraises to 16000. Holy moley!

Pearl throws it away pretty quick and seat 5 thinks about it for a few before mucking.

Coby rerereraises to something and Devon moves in. Coby calls and shows KK. Devon shows AA. Aiyeah.

Seat 5 tells Coby that he had kings too. Seat 9 says he fold QQ. Wow. The board runs out 4 8 8 9 6. Fuck.

Coby out and replaced by a rag. SAG rating tbd.

Confirmed SAG. He raised under the gun blind and called a flop bet blind.

$44,950 at break. I'm doing it wrong! But I made my 2nd 2nd break in a row.

The SAG is outta control. He's played 5 hands straight blind. And he's winning!

Card dead.

I can hear "I wanna make love in this club" on Dan Shak's headphones. I'm wearing my headphones to boot. How is he not deaf?

Completely fucking card dead the whole level until the last hand.

Super sag in seat 8 blind limps under the gun and failed musician in seat 1 raises to 800. In the small blind I look down at KdKc. I reraise to 2100.

Super sag folds, amazing, and failure boy calls. The flops comes Ac Qd Jc. I bet 4100. He calls. The turn is the jack of diamonds. Check check. He's gotta have AK right? The river is the Tc. I got a straight but the board is paired and there is a flush out there too. Check check. Cool we chop.

I show my kings and shows his 5c6c. Sweet titty fucker!? Did he not see me play a hand the whole level? Go back to your bankrupt recording studio.

$32,100 at 3rd break. That means it's Heineken time.

Still got about 80 big blinds. No need to panic but I'll order Heineken #2.

On the table behind me I just heard Doyle say, "He looks like a Jew to me." Completely out of context, it made me laugh.

Table break!


Table redraw:

Table 60 seat 10 (I hate seat 10)

Seat 1: Gibo from the other table
Seat 2: super sag from the other table
Seat 3: random Indian guy
Seat 4: random euro with a mini fan at the table.
Seat 5: rwg
Seat 6: Shane Schleger
Seat 7: random Aussie
Seat 8: john phan
Seat 9: john smith, yes that his real name. He's an old white guy with an uncreative name that's been on the tournament circuit for years.
Seat 10: JDN

As soon as I sit down john phan orders me another Heineken as well as 1 for himself and john smith.

The random Aussie is harry demetriou, jeremiah smith arch nemesis. Not sure if he's actually Aussie though.

Seat 10 + Heineken = success. I've won a couple of smallish pot with timed bets and gotten back up to 42k.

Down 37k and I'm getting kinda bored. I look down at two black 7s and raise it to 1675. Super sag, who's calmed down since moving to this table, calls. The flop falls Qs 2s 4d. I bet 2500. He calls.

The turn is something smallish that's not a spade. I bet 3600. He calls.

The river something else that's not a spade. I bet 7000. He folds. I muck 77. Sweet.

Fuck. Thinking about it, I think the flop was Qs 9h 2h. I was fading hearts. Not spades. Either way I played it the same.

Anywoot. I make it to day 2 with $45,700. 7 1/2 hours to make 700. In tournament chips. Bitchen'.

JDN

12.11.2008

Bellagio super sat

I normally don't do reports on sats (even though I should because it's the only thing I can constantly win at and bring less fail to this blog), but since this turned out to be a star studded event, it gets a write up.

Making short appearance in seat 1 was James Van Alstyne, JVA if you will.

Tony Cousineau is in seat 3 and the lovely Jennifer Tilly is in seat 7.

JVA dumps all his chips to Ms Tilly in a poorly timed continuation bluff.

The old lady in seat 2 is playing limit hold'em and I can't help but call if I'm in a hand with her.

Barry Greenstein is playing. Huh? This recession is a bitch.

I get Tony to lay down kings on a jack high flop. I show him queens. Snap.

In all honestly, which this game is all about, he might as well just have given me his chips. In the 3 way pot he tanked it after my flop bet. He said something about having kings before he made the crying call.

The turn put useless card on the board and he folded his hand face up. If you're going to make it that easy... We can do this all day.

I lose half my stack to seat 8 on a A J A 7 4 board with my AT vs his AJ. He had a big verbal tell when announced his check on the turn. I knew he had an ace but I thought I had him out kicked because he limped preflop.

1325 at break. Well... It's amazing that I actually made a break at the Bellagio but I stayed alive too long to make it to the Caesars 3pm. Bah!

I move in with A4 twice and don't get called. That's a first.

I double up with KT vs the A9 of seat 8 when a king hits the river. Sweet!

Roy Winston moves into Jennifer Tilly's seat after she ran into a flopped straight.

So, the payouts were posted (remember this is a satellite) and 18 places get seats. 19th place gets cash. $15. Yes. A $15 payout in a $1500 tournament. The tilt! Can you imagine?

I swear right now, if I get 19th, I'm dropping a deuce in the Bellagio lake.

I double up again with KJ vs 55 on flop of Q Q Q. Aiyeah. Don't worry, I get there and on the river no less. 3500.

I double yet again with AK vs QQ. A king on the flop and an ace on the turn seal the deal and I got 8k.

I punish Tony and seat 8 some more and get up to 17k. Blinds are at 300/600 with a 50 ante.

The old lady in seat 2 is missing the end of her right pinky. She could be yakuza. I will proceed with caution.

Yeeeeah boy! Made my first 2nd break at Bellagio. On the way out I make eye contact with David benyamine.

...

$16425 at break.

Here's an interesting hand. In a satellite! Crazy Russian (at least the 3rd one I've seen at this table (and Allen Kesslar doesn't seem so crazy)) raises my big blind to 2400 and I call from the with KJ off.

The flop falls 9 J 6. I think about what I should do and the CR bets 3500. WTF? The dealer burns... Whoa whoa whoa! I tell the dealer to call the floor. This guy has bet outta turn the last 3 hands he played.

This puts him on super steam. It's the cold war all over again. He's got shit and I know it. He didn't even count the chips out before he bets. After Tang (the tournament director for you non-Bellagio peeps) gives him a warning, I ask for a count. He can't even bother to count them all and says 15,000. He's got more than that.

I think a little more, letting the steam sink in a bit, before asking the dealer what the rules is. As he explains it, and I know what it is, I watch the CR as steam starts spewing out his ears.

How can I get all his chips? I think if I check raise after all this, he folds. If I bets what he bet, he folds. If I shove... If I shove he might call on accord of him being a CR. Hmmmmm.

"I'm all in." I announce. He snap calls. Oops. He shows KQ. Yeeeeah boy!

Blank blank and I'm up to 40K.

3 hands later Chad Layne (or Moore I can't remember) raises under the gun and old yakuza lady moves in. I look down at two black aces. I call. Chad whatshisname folds and she shows AQ. Sweet.

65Kish. I don't feel like counting.

With 26 players left the table breaks and I get moved to table 59. Ericka Schoenberg is in seat 6, Barry Greenstein is in seat 8, and Roy Winston is in seat 10. This table really adds to SEO value.

Roy Winston is telling stories about Allen Kesslar but he keeps calling him Allen Cunningham.

I ask Barry if he's ever played a tournament with a $15 payout. And Barry being Barry says yes, "A $3 rebuy on Stars." Everyone is a comedian.

65Kish at break.

I made $15 at video poker during the break, plus a free beer, and when I cashed out, the machine gave me a $100 bill and 15 dollar bills. WTF? I'm not playing a hand in this sat again.

Down to 19. Guaranteed $15. Sweet.

Winner winner chicken dinner.

Dunno what day I'm playing yet.

Update coming on Saturday. I'm thinking about sitting out day 1 to make day 2.

JDN

12.04.2008

Bellagio 2K

The bellagio's clocks seem to be 10 minutes slow. So I spend that time discussing the pros and cons of the pirate vs ninja debate with Brian Devonshire and Tiffany Michelle. I'm a ninjaman myself where as they're pirate peeps.

Table 48 Seat 1
(I hate seat 1)

6K in chips to start with hour levels. I likey.

Table draw:

Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: rwg drinking an O'douls
Seat 3: random skinny white guy with a Bengals hat. That's pretty much means he a masochist. He also kinda looks like a healthy Darrel Dicken.
Seat 4: rwg whose jowls jiggle when he's nervous.
Seat 5: rwg
Seat 6: rwg with a mercedes hat on. I would bet that he doesn't own a mercedes. Judging by his play, there's no way he has one. He skipped the chapter on betting and pretty much just throws two over sized chips out whenever he bets.
Seat 7: rwg
Seat 8: rwg with a saftey orange colored hat on. I saw him talking to Alex Jacob in the registration line so I will assume that he's got some game because "The Fro" doesn't associate with donks.
Seat 9: rowg. I've played with him before but I can't remember if he's any good. Probably not.

It's pretty rare to play a bellagio tourney and not know anyone at my table.

My read on the mercedes guy was right on. He busts 25 mins into the first level. Oops. He's replaced by Can Kim Hua.

Now there's a familiar face and I can just imagine that's he's gonna come out firing. Aaaaand he does.

It cost him half his stack in his first orbit to the kid in the orange hat. Double good read on my part.

Still in the first level with blinds at 25/50, the old broham in seat 9 limps in earlish position. I looked down at 22 and throw my 50 in. It's called by a couple other guys too.

The flop falls A 2 5. The old dude leads out and I briefly consider raising before just calling. Everyone else get out of the way and I call again on the Q turn.

I really put him on A5 here. He would raise with a AT or higher and don't think he's going to limp with AA or AK. The possibility of 55 comes up but I quickly dismiss it because set under set doesn't happen that often.

The river is a T and be bets 1K. It's immpossible for him to have KJ here so I raise him to 2500. He quickly calls and shows 55. G'damn!! That was my first live flopped set in at least a month.

Lucky for me he's one of those old guys that always thinks he's beat and he didn't reraise me.

Can Kim Hua bust shortly there after and he's replaced by fuckwit. The first thing fuckwit says is that he cracks Allen Kesslar's aces with 7s. Now how bad of a player do you have to be if you call Allen's all in preflop with 7s? Pretty damn bad.

3250 going into the second level.

Fuckwit keeps things moving at the table by raising the first 7 hands he saw. I saw him limp under the gun with T2 and raise early with 86. So basically he's never seen a hand he didn't like.

Sooooo I'm on the big blind and seat 5 limps, fuckwit raises to 400 and gets call by the old guy in seat 9, myself and seat 5. I've got 4d4s. The flop comes 2h 5s 8h. Check check check and fuckwit bets 1K. Old dude folds and I push in for a hair less than 4K. Seat 5 thinks about it for a while, probably with the best hand, before folding. Fuckwit counts out the chips and says, "I feel lucky." Fuuuuuuck. He's got a 5. I show my 44 and he shows 45. Bah!

I hate the Bellagio.

JDN

11.23.2008

Venetian Deep Stack Main Event

20K in chips, 90 minute levels. I could be here awhile.

Table 27 seat 7

Table draw:
Seat 1: rpg
Seat 2: empty
Seat 3: rwg with a Berkeley shirt on and a Cal tattoo on his neck. This mofo is hardcore. Too bad he sucks at poker.
Seat 4: Dr. Cancer. An rwg who mention he was a Dr of something to do with cancer. Good thing he has a day job.
Seat 5: empty
Seat 6: aggressive Asian kid with hairy knuckles.
Seat 7: jdn
Seat 8: empty
Seat 9: rwg with matching cold sore herpes looking things on his upper and lower lip. I don't really want any of those chips.
Seat 10: rag. Non-SAG but he maybe color blind. He can't tell the difference between the $100 chips and the $500 chips.

They only sold 8 of the 10 seats at the table and seat 2 hasn't shown up yet. So we're playing 7 handed.

Herpes guy is eating food from the free Buffet and his chicken smells like cat food.

I still can't flop a set. I can only turn them. I hit the 3rd deuce on the turn to take some chippies from seat 9.

Seat 8 just sat down. He's a rag with a high possibility of SAGness.

Seat 2 gets here too. He's a younger white guy wearing an Affliction type shirt with a bedazzled hoodie, avatar sun glasses, and head phones.

21725 at break.

I video poker at break and hit quads twice for $800. A third of my buy in is paid for. I'll have to hit up the blackjack tables next break to see if I can freeroll this thing.

Michael Binger moves into seat 5. I got position!!!

Man I gotta give up those A high calls. They just get me in trouble and I never win. I called seat 2 down with AQ on a 9 high board and lost 2400. I called based on his appearance since he looked kinda douchey. I wonder if he dresses that way on purpose.

Well that was a waste of level. I end it with 17500. I think I should have kept playing video poker.

I lose close to 10k when I run into a set of sixes. The next hand I have 55 miss my set but still win the hand.

This whole not flopping a set thing is starting to tilt me. It's like I'm the ugly girl in high school that no one will ask to the prom. Everyone is hitting sets except me.

The table breaks and I get moved to table 31 seat 2. I'm too pissed to do a table draw but Chad Layne (or Chad Moore, I can't remember which) is in seat 7 and Frankie O'Dell is in seat 8. Frankie is also know for over selling himself and then making the final table at the bike a few years ago. Brilliant. How the hell do you get out of the first level when you've oversold yourself? But he's also got two bracelets in Omaha, so go figure.

7500 in chips.

Pocket 8s. No set.

Chainsaw sighting!

Pocket tens. No set.

I raise under the gun with AhAc to 600 and get 6 MOTHERfUCkING callers!!! The flop is 4d 8d Td. It's check to the douche in seat 8 and he bets 2300. That's not a flush. I call. So does Frankie. I'm done with this hand. It's checked around when turn brings a 5. After the 6 on the river, Frankie bets out a couple thousand. The douche in seat 8 raises to 7500 and I muck. Frankie calls and shows the 2d3d. Seat 8 shows TJ off.

And that folks is why you make the final table after over selling yourself.

Ta motherfuckin'da.

For his encore he busts me when my 7s4s can't improve on a 9s 8s Tc board vs his KT.

That was painfull.

JDN

11.21.2008

BC Poker Championship Day 2 AD

After dinner I just hemorrhage chips off in a couple smaller pots. I lose 30k with 55 vs 88 against one of the shorter stacks and I'm cut to 28k.

Shirt stack ninja time. No need to panic.

Well I panicked when I got through the blinds with 21k left. With blinds at 2400/1200 200 ante, posh from the button with QT. The wild kid with the boogers calls pretty quick from the small blind and shows As9s.

After a flop of 5s 7s Kc I was drawing slim. But! I had the Queens of Spades! The turn was the Qh and the river was the Qc. Oh snap! 45k

Then the coolest thing evar happen. I wasn't even in the hand. The wild kid to my right moves in but the old guy in seat 10 doesn't see it. He looks at Steve in the big blind and says "I call.". Oops

The internet kid "Joe" actually turns out to Paul Ambrose or something. I think he won a tournament once. And he's a luck sack.

Then they open their hands. The kid has KJ and old bro has A9. THEN the kid hits trip kings to double. Comedy gold I tell you.

30k at break. Gavin has 33k. Were neck and neck.

A couple of hands into the next level I look down at 55 and stick it in. About 29K. The wild kid snap calls with KQ. Really? A queen on the flop ends my day. Gavin follows a few hands later but he wins the last longer. Bastard.

Now I gotta find a flight back to Vegas to catch the Venetian Main Event on Sunday.

J"Can't Flop a Set"DN

BC Poker Championship Day 2

I don't get to say day 2 very often and of course I get the big blind to start the day. Blinds are 400/800 with a 25 ante. Shuffle up and deal.

Table 34 seat 1

Table draw:
Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: Asian Canadian
Seat 3: Young white Canadian
Seat 4: old white Canadian
Seat 5: young white Canadian
Seat 6: another old white Canadian
Seat 7: that Timex kid
Seat 8: young white Canadian
Seat 9: a Daniel wannbe. It's actually kinda funny. He's rocking the hat, goatee, and hockey jersey. I'm gonna try and take a pic.

Here's to hitting a set today!!!

We start about 25 mins late in real time, but in Canada time, we're right on schedule.

The table breaks and I get moved to table 17 seat 4. David Williams is in seat 3 and Steve Sung is in seat 2. Both of them have chips but I have position! Double snap.

Position pays off. (not really). In early position Mr Williams raises to 2200. I reraise to 6200 with QQ. He calls and on a flop of 4 7 8 he pushes in. He's got me covered and I got about 14k left.

Ok, now this where position comes into play. He's all in and I getting think about my next move (not really).

I call pretty quickly as he shows 66. The queens hold up and I'm up to 42k. But the bastard pays me in $100 and $25 chips. At least I have the biggest chip stack at the table.

David busts shortly after and he's replace by a random Canadian who picks up KK in his first hand at the table. The flop is queen high and he runs into a set of tens that seat 6 has. It was questionable if the guy should have even got dealt a hand because the dealer waited for him to sit down before she dealt.

On the very next hand, the older lady in seat 1 limps and the new guy shoves in for 3200. I look down at 77 and make it 6K to go. Seat 6 makes it 20k. Damn it. The lady folds and I think about it for a second before folding.

Seat 6 opens up AA, the new guy shows QQ, and the lady says she had 99. Wow I was in last place there and it cost me 6k.

The board runs out 5 6 8 4 K. Crap!!

35000 at first break. Gavin has 32000 so we make a $500 last longer.

I get up to around 42k before this hand comes up. Raised in early position to 3k it's called by 4 players and I'm in the cut off with KJ off. The flop is J 9 4 and it's checked to me. I bet 6500, fold, all in, fold, back to me. I call. It's only about 3k more to call.

He shows QJ. The turn is a T and then rivers the K for a str8. Bah!

Back down to 25k. Right where we started the day.

A few hands later I bust seat 10 with aces. He only had 6600 but I'll take it. I need it.

With blinds at 800/1600 and a 150 ante, the crazy old guy in seat 8 makes it 5K. It's folded to me in the big blind. I look down at Jacks. Aiyeah. I know this guy is a slow rolling nutter. I consider sticking it all in but I decide to just call the 5k.

The flop is A something something. I check, he checks. Interesting. The turn is a Jack. Ding! I check and the nutball bets 5K again. I think he might actually be weaker than I thought. But he's crazy, I don't think he can read the chip denominations. I raise him to 13K and he cant get his chips in fast enough. I open my set, first one of the tournament, and he takes for ever to show AK. Steve Sung says I thought I was getting slow rolled.

90K. I like it.

I work my way up to over 100K before I butt heads with the internet kid. I met him the other day at the Pstars party but I can't remember his name. Maybe Joe or something. Anywoo. I'm on the big blind, "Joe" is in the small blind and Steve Sung is on the button. Steve raises it to 4100 and both of us call. I got 44. The flop 5 6 T. Checked around. The turn is another 5 and Joe checks to me. I bet 7500, Steve folds, Joe raises 16000 more. I call pretty quickly thinking he's either on complete air or a flush draw. I can get away from the hand if a scare card comes on the river but I soooo sure I'm ahead here.

The river is an ace. Fuuuuuck. That's one I didn't want to see.

It takes "Joe" forever to check. I see that he has 30K left but I'm going to go with my read. I check. He shows AJ and I show him my 4s before tossing them into the muck.

70K at dinner break. This is my second one in a row! I'm a roll.

JDN

BC Poker Championship AD (after dinner)

I thought it was Lloyd from Entourage



Play has slowed down considerably since we reached the big level of 150/300. Everyone has slowed down except for seat 2. He kicked it into high gear and began a raising and reraising fiasco. His inner SAG has emerged.

Maria Ho is talking to Lacey about "cute boys.". Thank gawd for headphones.

Tiffany Michelle comes over to Lacey and starts up the "cute boys" conversation again. Tiff has pictures on her cell phone of potentials.

Oops! I call off 6000 with AK vs KK. It was against the Ginger and I should have known better.

25,500 at break.

There's a guy walking around with half of his goatee shaved off. Someone lost a bet.

A few hands in I lose 2725 to gigantor hands when he hits a K on the turn to kill my jacks. At least he didn't crush my head with his bear paws.

I bust seat 1 with JJ vs his KQ. He only had 2125 so it was rather anti-climatic. I've busted 3 people at the table. That's all the bust outs here on table 12. I'm the only one doing work here. Canadian are lazy.

I bust seat 7 on a flop of 6h 2s 4h with 77 vs his 65. He bet out 1500 on the flop and called my raise to 5000 with 2500 behind. Math is hard.

I double up the new seat 1 on a flop of A K 9 with my AQ vs KK. Damn it. There's another 7k down the drain.

Lacey was getting drunk before she shoved from the button with 76. The blind called with aces but the flop fell 7 6 3. She still lost. Oops.

I end the day with $24,425. It's a little below average and there's 322 peeps left. There's was a brutal wait for the chips to get bagged as they all have to be verified by the floor. Takes 30 mins for us to get out of there.

Gavin had to talk to a fan's mom on the phone on the way out. LOL. Gavin has fans.

JDN

PS I waited till after we went out to post this because I knew something of interest would happen. It did. From the River Rock, Scott Wilson, Dr Mark, Gavin, and myself took a cab downtown to find some good eats. We gambled on the fair where each of us would take a 4th of the cents. If the fair landed on your range, you would have to pay. Dr Mark took 00 thru 25, Scott took 26 thru 50, Gav had 51 thru 74 and I had the top end. The fair ended up at $21.45 and Scott took it down. Snap.

We did the same at gamble on the dinner bill and we all took the same range and the bill was 346.40. Thank you Scott Wilson.

After dinner we went to find Devo at a club called The Cellar and we 3 way roshambo'd for the cover charge. Odd man out pays. Dr Mark had headed home at this point. We all threw scissors on the first throw and on the 2nd, Scott continued with the scissors while Gavin and I threw rock. Double snap. I freerolled the whole night.

In the club I ran into the douche bag that was sitting to my left all day and he invited me to an Asian whore house. He assured me that they we're clean. I'll pass thanks.

It didn't take long for his over eagerness to put Gavin on tilt and threats where made before the calm of Scott Wilson took over and drinks were served.

Outside, Devo played Breakfast at Tiffany's on some hobo's guitar and Gavin played the wheels on a guys wheelchair. Good Times

11.20.2008

BC Poker Champioship in Vancouver Canada

I decided to skip the main event in Tahoe and fly to Canada to play the BC Poker Championship. (I was only allowed to come back to Canada when I promised the GF that there would not be a repeat of the shenanigans that occurred last time I was here.) And the dollar is strong in the great white north, so it's only like a $2000 tournament.

I'm not going to lie, I'm slightly hung over. I tried to take it east last night, and I thought I did but headache says no you didn't. Stupid head.

I slept in a little pass the start of the tournament to catch some extra Zs. Well that was the plan but Gsmith decided to kick in the bedroom door to wake me up. Fucker. Doesn't he know that the tournament starts at noon? In Canada that means 12:30.

I get down to the pokerroom at 12:45 and there's 45 minutes left in level 1. See? I only missed 15 minutes of play.

Table 12 seat 4

Table draw:

Seat 1: Older white Canadian guy. My read: not horrible but not good either.
Seat 2: white Canadian guy. My read: pretty much by the book. Tight and passive.
Seat 3: white Canadian guy that looks like Farva from supertroopers. My read: so so so bad. Has no concept to betting or raises and he looks like Farva.
Seat 4: jdn. My read: looks a little hung over.
Seat 5: white Canadian guy. My read: douche bag.
Seat 6: white Canadian guy. My read: tight agressive. He's reraised me twice and kept firing. Looks like he's playing premium hands.
Seat 7: white Canadian guy. A Ginger. Creepy. My read: I'm too creeped out to look at him or play hands with him.
Seat 8: older white Canadian guy. My read: playing a lot of hands compared to the rest of the table and he only fires a flop bullet if his hands whiffs.
Seat 9: tubby white Canadian guy. My read: his hands are huge! He could be a stunt double for Ben Grimm. I'm not sure how he's picking up his cards and chips without crushing them.
Seat 10: white Canadian dude. My read: tight passive. All these goofballs play the same. Why can't I get any chips?

I would have thought that it would be nearly impossible to draw a table without any Asians at it. I think it's a thousand to one to get an asianless table in Vancouver.

With our table lacking a SAG, the play is pretty tight. I think about taking a nap in between hands.

There's people watching the tournament from the balcony.

In the second level, with blinds at 50/100, it gets raised by the Ginger in early position to 400. Thing hands in seat 9 calls and seat 1 reraises to 1600. I look down at two red kings AKA Brokeback Mountain, and rereraise to 4000. It's folded back around to the second raiser in seat 1 and goes into the tank. I bet 4000 so that if he snapped moved in I could the hand preflop. But when he starts to tank I know he doesn't have AA. Prob queens.

He folds QQ face up. Snap.

I'd like to have that line about folding kings preflop stricken. I'm full of shit. I'm not folding those preflop in Canada.

14500 at break.

Farva got moved.

Level 3 and 4 were like a rollercoaster for me. Its a general theme in my life.

Somehow I got down to 8K calling down with top pair in a couple of situations. Then I get Jacks on the button. Seat 10 raises to 650, I call and so does the big blind. The flop falls Tc 6c 3s. Seat 6 checks, seat 10 bets 1600, I call, and then seat 6 check raises to 4000. Huh? Seat 10 quickly folds but I smell something fishy. This goofball has reraised me at least 6 times today.

I move all in for less than 8k. He calls and shows JT off. WTF buddy? I'll take it.

A few hands later, after he reraised me, I bust him with AK vs his 99. Haha sucker!

Lacey Jones gets moved to my left. That's an upgrade from Farva.

On the last hand of the level its folded to me on the button. I raise to 600 with T4 and get called by the big blind. I'm done with the hand. Really. I promise myself I'm done with it. The flop falls Q T 6 and its checked to me. OK! I lied. I bet 1K. He calls and bets out 2500 on the turn, which is a 4. Opps. I put him in and he calls with AT. Brick on the river and I've got 27000 at dinner break. woot!

JDN

11.13.2008

$500 6 handed No Limit

I'm out.

Nap time.

JDN

$500 NLH WSOPC

Update from last night.

After posting the hate filled blog from the final table of the Omaha, I came back down to the casino, Heineken in hand, and bought into the second chance tourney. $200 buy in and about 100 players.

I'll save you the details, I took it down. Yeah that's right! Ship it! A small monetary victory but a massive emotional one. Cashing back to back tourneys does wonders for ones confidence.

After winning I did the smart thing and headed straight to the blackjack tables. And I won there too! On roll let's keep it going.

Table 1 Seat 3


And I'm an alternate. Open another table donks. I wait a half an hour to get my seat, during which I get a bloody Mary from the hard rock, play some vid poker, and get told that I can't sit in the tournament area. Yes. I love this place.

Table 29 seat 8

Table draw:

Seat 1: CSI guy. Rocking the CSI Las Vegas hat AND shirt.
Seat 2: retarded donkey (we'll get into that in a minute)
Seat 3: rwg
Seat 4: random foreigner with a WSOPC ring. How tacky is it to wear your trophy from a tournament that no one cares about to a tournament that no one cares about. He also says that he recognizes me and that I'm a good player. (I don't that compliment much). Then he decides to fire 3 bullets at me. More on that later.
Seat 5: rwg
Seat 6: rwg
Seat 7: empty
Seat 8: jdn
Seat 9: rwg

I'm not going to lie. I'm a little hung over. Got a head ache too. Perfect for playing poker.

Back to seat 2. He raises my big blind to 400 with blinds at 50/100. I call with ace deuce of spades. The flop falls 2 6 4. I check raise him to 2100 after a bet of 800. He then reraises to something, I couldn't tell because he used all small chips. I figure that's a tell from a bad player and I move in.

With only 1700 more to call, he does. I'm waiting for him to flip up an AK but he shows A7. Wow. The deuce holds and I double up. He can't stop talking about it the for the next 30 mins.

Now when I get involved with seat 4, he raises my big blind and I call with A7. The flop falls A something something. All clubs. I check call some random amount. The turn is another ace of something and I check call again. The river is a random low black card that's not a club. I check and he bets 2400. I think about it for a minute before calling and his hand goes straight into the muck. Super duper.

Then I get messy with seat 2 again. He shoves in from the small blind for 3500 on 6 way limped pot. Is he squeezing? I call with A9. Does he know what a squeeze is?

He shows QQ. Oops. But with an 8 on the river I hit my gutshot for a straight and all his chips.

The table breaks and I get moved to a table with a guy that is wearing overalls.

22K at break.

There's talk at the table about getting a single table sat started and the winner goes to the bunny ranch.

Someway, somehow I'm out of the tournament. Well I know how. It had something to do with J4. Then it didn't work out. Stupid me.

Oh well I head over the 4pm 6 handed no limit tourney.

JDN

11.11.2008

$300 Omaha Hi Lo Day 2 (why is a $300 tournament a 2 event?)

Before the tournament starts up again I take a seat in the bleachers (yes there are bleachers) and proceed to eat a bagel. Grizzly Adams walks up and says, "Having a snack huh?"

I'm reminded of that scene in dumb and dumber where Jim Carey walks out of the 7/11 and up to a group of guys and says, "Big Glups, huh guys?"

Awkward silence followed by, "Ok, see ya later!"

Table 44 seat 1

Table draw:
Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: an older version of grizzly Adams. Turquoise bracelet in tow.
Seat 3: rwg
Seat 4: younger Asian guy. His voice sounds like he's on helium.
Seat 5: rwg
Seat 6: rwg
Seat 7: random middle aged white lady, our tournament's Tiffany Michelle.
Seat 8: rowg
Seat 9: rwg on the younger side

With blinds at 2400/4800, I'm on the small blind to start and it's folded to me. I raise and take down the big blind. I show A2 as I fold.

It's folded to me on the next hand and I raise and take down the blinds. I show A2 as I fold. This is a set up and it will allow me to open up my range of starting hands as the tournament progresses.

Someone, the dealer or old grizzly Adams smells like old balls. I'm leaning towards the grizz and his beard being the culprit.

I'm crushing the table in the first two levels of play. I'm the only one raising preflop, a lot. Old grizzly Adams is playing back at me with bad hands and I've quartered him a couple of times.

125K and climbing.

I over play QQ against the Asian guys AA. I ship him 30k but he thought he was calling with the worst hand. I like where I am. 90K.

With 12 people left I get moved to the nine seat at the other table. About 98k.

Final table of 10. Technically we need to lose 1 player to make the "real" final table. We're playing 10 handed cause they need to start the other final that runs at 4.

I got about 80K. Jason with the bald head and braves jersey is to my left and both Grizzly Adams are here as well as our faux Tiffany Michelle.

I'm considering buying into the HORSE tournament that starts at 4pm.

I stopped writing down hands because I get completely fucked with 8 people left. I raise to 10k with AA39 and get called by the lady in the small blind and random old dude in the big blind. The lady leads out on a flop of Q 3 5. Old guy calls and I raise. Call call. Turn is a 7 and the lady bets again. The river is an 8. She bets again and the old guy calls. Is there anyway I'm getting half this pot? I call. She turns over KK62 for the 62 low and he shows 367J for two pair. WTF!

I'm down to 15000.

I stand up, knocking over my chair, and head to the registration desk to buy into the horse. But I can't. I was told I could buy in any time in the first level. Its still the first level. I walk over to the TD and she says I can still buy in. I give my ID and cash and ask her to buy me in. I come back to the Omaha table shortly before she returns and she tells me I can't play the HORSE. Its sold out. Fuck you people. You run your tournaments like a 5th grader would. How do you sell out of a tournament when there are 15 open tables.

I take my money back and push my chips all in when I look down at A589. 4 calls and I scope the main pot when two 5s flop.

Somehow the chick manages to lose 60K in chips in about 3 hands and she's out in 8th.

I get it all in with A289 3 diamonds. I get called by the chip leader with A3T6 and after a flop of 2 T 7, I brick out in 7th.

When I cash out, the lady says congratulations. STFU!

At least that covers my ticket I got on the drive out here.

jdn

$300 Omahahaha Hi Lo (that joke is only funny once but I'll continue to beat it to death)

When playing Omaha you need to entertain yourself because its such a boring game. Thank god Monday night football is on.

So instead of recording anything before the first break, I'm going to tell a story from last nights cash game.

The random donks playing the 3/5 game, where cash does not play for some reason, start talking about the main event. A young lady at my table, who's boyfriend went deep, is talking about how she was on tv for a spilt second and how she has become a local celebrity because of it. Random Joe, two to my right, starts talking about how some donkey (ironic, I know) knocked out his friend deep in the main event. The aforementioned girl chimes in, "Was it Jeremiah Smith?"

I LOL 'd so hard I almost fell out of my seat.

Poor Jeremiah. He's like the Rodney Dangerfield of poker. No respect.

5k at break.

I got absolutely brutalized by the 4 of spades on the river in two consecutive hands. I'm kinda bitter about them so I'm not going to recount them here.

Guess I'll do a table draw...

Table 39 seat 1

Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: Jason something. I see him in vegas all the time and he always wears sports jerseys.
Seat 3: gorilla knuckles. I don't know what this guy does for a living but he uses his hands. He's got the most calused knucks I've ever see.
Seat 4: Clueless girl. She's having a hard time playing with 4 cards. She actually said "this is not like the Internet."
Seat 5: completely random white guy
Seat 6: completely random white guy #2
Seat 7: another random whitey
Seat 8: random with a handle bar mustache and some weird googley eyes
Seat 9: and... Another random white guy.

There's never any entertaining personalities in Omaha. Probably because half the field is near death. I'm going back to abberivations for descriptions.

In the 200/400 level I actually win a big hand. I hit the nut flush on the turn in a big 4 way pot. I pray for the board not to pair and it doesn't!!! Holy moley. And...! I get two calls on the river.

I turn over the hand with the Ah 6h 7h and gorilla knuckles shows 5h 8h 9h. The clueless girl shows broadway. That's alotta hearts. Then the dealer mucks my hand. Whoa there motherfucka! I fish my hand out of the muck and get my chips.

Back up to 6k. Starting chips!

Then I get fucked. Again. I got AJ36 on a board of 7 6 6 5 2. Don't worry. My hand is only good for a quarter of the pot.

1600 left in the 300/600 level.

Somehow I make it through the level with 2600. Now we take an hour dinner break. WTF? We just started 4 hours ago. Jeebus.

In the 400/800 level I'm down to 2000 when I see a flop with A36T. It falls 7 4 2 and I get it all in on the turn and called 4 ways. It holds, and I double to 4k. Woot.

I double again in a 4 way limped pot when I hit a straight flush and a wheel with the awesome starting hand if 2s 2h 4d 6d. 8100. Yeah boy!

I sleep through the 800/1600 level and somehow end up with 20Kish at break. Not sure how I got there. I also realize that I've only had 4 hours of sleep in the last 42 hours or so. And I've only eaten a del taco burrito and two tiger's milk bars in that time. This can't be good for me.

I refuse to eat the free food here or eat at the table, so I guess I'm going to starve for a while.

I get moved to table 40 seat 9.

I won't do a table draw but Grizzley Adams is in seat 2 and the Asian Chris Ferguson wearing Andy Bloch's hat is in seat 5.

I scooped a massive pot with 2s 4h Js Jh on a board of 7d 7c 3c Ac Jc. Seat 1 and Asian Chris Ferguson were all in during the 4 way pot. 34K. Snap!

I get moved to a new table and everyone here is rather dull. No new table draw! But there are a lot of chips on the table.

I'm too tired to write any hands down. I flopped two full houses twice and move to another table with about 40K. That's down from my high 49K when I has 2nd best flush and 2nd best low on a paired board with all three players with a flush in a massive 70K pot.

$44,500 at break. 24 players left. 18 pay. Which is stupid. 18th pays $365 for a profit of $35. 1st is 9K. And no ring for the winner. I quit.

We hit the money at 2:45am. Handlebar Mustache guy is the bubble dude. Haha. Clueless Chick is out too. Double haha. 18 players left and I think I'm in 3rd with $70,500. We start tomorrow at 2pm. Hopefully we can get done in time for me to play the HORSE at 4pm.

Sleepy time for JDN.

Nighty night.

11.10.2008

$500 WSOPC Lake Tahoe No Limit Hold'em

I wake up at 10am, a lovely 4 hours after I hit the hay at 6am, after another session of fail sleep due to allergies*. This is getting reduckolous. I'm considering cutting my nose off.

I get down to the tournament about 5 min late and buy in. Kinda sparse. Only about 150 peeps.

Table 32 seat 5


I finally get to my table, table numbers aren't visible, (genius, who needs to find their table in a tournament?) and there's someone in my chair. He's involved in a big pot. Those are my chips in there! Holy goat cheese! It's only been 5 min since the tourney started.

The floor gives me his seat on table 33 seat 5. See? Make the table numbers visible and that won't happen.

Ok finally! Table draw:

Seat 1: older guy that looks kinds like George Lucas. My read: he screwed up star wars for everyone.
Seat 2: random middle aged white guy with Hawaiian shirt. My read: pretty solid but he may get drunk. He's already on his second Bourbon and coke.
Seat 3: another non-descript white guy. My read: tight and boring.
Seat 4: middle aged housewife. My read: tight weak and afraid to play.
Seat 5: jdn My read: damn sexy.
Seat 6: really old white guy with shaky banana hands. He's huge. My read: horrid with a capital D! He's got no idea what's going on, always acts outta turn, raises utg with 83 (I guarantee he thought it was 88), and he called down with Js8c on a 2d 2h Qh 4d Kh board vs my AQ. He then says, I forgot what I had.
Seat 7: younger balding white guy. My read: fairly tight but solid. Has a weakness for table talk.
Seat 8: older white guy. My read: he sucks annnnd he's out. He replaced by a very loud young Asian guy with one of those long pinkie finger nails. What's that all about. My dad had one growing up but he used it to pick his nose.
Seat 9: younger white guy. My read: tight and solid, he likes to work out.

The old dude in seat 6 is putting on a show. I'm guessing that as long as I'm sitting next to him most if not all of my updates will involve him.

I'm pretty active in the first two levels. So because of that, I'm a roller coaster. From a starting stack of 7k I drop down to 5000, back up to 8500 and then down to 4000. Mostly due the guy in seat 6. He needs a nickname. Hmm. I'm gonna call him Goofy.

I raise in late position AQ and get called by goofy before the kid in seat 7 ships it in for 1500. I reraise all in for 3500 or so thinking that goofy is going to fold but no. He calls pretty quick.

Broham in seat 7 shows of all things 77. Goofy has Jc8c. Okaaay. The board blanks out and the pair holds up. But since goofy called my 3500 I make money on the hand. I end up 4300ish. Thank you bad player.

A few hands later I get into a pot with who else? Goofy. That's right. I raised on the button with 99 to 650 and get 3 callers. The flop comes Qh 6s 2h. Goofy bets out 500 as seat 2 (aka Bourbon and coke) and I call. The turn is the Jh. Goofy bets 1000, seat 2 folds and I decide to call this guy down. I call as the river falls a black 4. I check with 2k behind and goofy, already with the chips in hand, bet out another 1k. I call. He show the big Ah2d and I open up my nines to take down the pot and nearly double to 9k.

Pretty sure he just saw the colors and thought he had a flush. Oh goofy. You're so silly.

$11,850 at first break.

Why is this door here?



Goofy has the hiccups and seat 2 just ordered another Bourbon and coke

Eek. Only 106 players. 50k prize pool and prob 17k for first. I'll take it!

So sad. Goofy is out. Can't say I didn't see it coming. He shoved all his chips in on the river with 3rd pair and got called.

Bourbon and coke busted too.

And I'm out too. I got seat 3 all in on a flop of 6d Kc Tc. I had Ac 6c and he has Td Ts. With the last T in the deck on the turn I consider ninja staring the dealer with my cards but he mucks them too fast.

I down to 1650 till I look at TT and put it all in. George Lucas moves in and seat 2 calls his stack off. George has KK and Seat 2 has JJ. That means GG for me and I buy into the Omaha tournament at 4.

See ya soon,
JDN

* I had an allergy attack like this once when I lived in Seattle. One day I decided to get out of the house and do something despite my condition. So I went to a comic book convention at Seattle Center.

At the convention I walked around look at various nerd porn and such before I found myself in front of Matt Wagner's (He created the great Grendel book) table. I had a short talk with him and he showed me the designs for the new Jay and Silent Bob figures that he designed. I leaned over to look at the paper in front of me and I a drop of my nose runoff fell right on Jay's face.

The look on Matt's face was that of shear disgust. I tried to play it off and ask for his autograph on a comic. He didn't really want to touch it after I had handled it but he did anyway and I got a signed Grendel from him even if was repulsed by me.

Damn allergies.

My Journey to Lake Tahoe

I get up at the blurry eyed hour of 9:30 to get started on the 8 hour drive from Vegas to South Lake Tahoe. My allergies are killing me, they have been for the last week, allowing me to wake up with a nasty case of cotton mouth.

After the washing the foul taste of dried saliva outta my mouth I hit the road. Barring any unforeseen problems I should make it to Tahoe around 6pm.

Let's roll out!

popping a wheelie in the Subaru

That's snow! WTF?



When I told a few of my peeps that I was driving to Tahoe, the general consensus was that I was an idiot. That's the first time 100% of the popular vote went against me but I was looking to forward to the long lonely road trip. I like them. They help me clear my head. They get me focused. They get me pulled over.

Somewhere about an hour south of Carson City I was following a car pulling a trailer. We were coming down into a valley with a small town. It was lightly raining so I was only going about 73 mph and (I thought) the speed limit was 70.

We passed a sheriff and he immediately turned on the lights and flipped a bitch on us.

"He can't be going after me! Right?" I thought to myself. The guy in front of me is pulling a trailer made out of plywood in the rain. Right???

I test the waters by slowing down and pulling off to the side to let him pass. He pulls along side of me and motions for me to follow him. Fuuuuck.

He finally gets the dude with the trailer over and I parallel park in between them. He walks up to my car, I roll down my window and look up at him. He's big. Linebacker big.

He's ask for my license, proof of insurance, and registration. Wasn't it just license and registration before?

I hand over my info and I suddenly realize that this guy looks like the bad guy from Highlander who played the evil preacher in Carnival! Fuckshit! I'm screwed. This popo rides for the devil. He's immortal!

Clancy Brown aka Officer T. Urso badge# 520 from Yerington NV? I think so.




Of course I don't have my most current insurance card in the car. Bollocks. I'm done I know he's going to bring a sword back here to cut off my head and steal my life juice.

The officer asks me where I'm headed.

"Tahoe." I respond.

"For what?" he continues to inquire.

"Poker." I reply

"Where are you staying?" He persists.

"Harvey's.". WTF? (I didn't say that but I should've.)

"I'll be right back." He says as he walks back to his policia car.

I watch him break out his clip board and start writing up ticket(s). Well the speeding ticket can't be much and the expired insurance car is easily fixable.

Finally he calls me back to his car. Ok I've done these before. In worse places. Arizona. I came out ok then. Even though the midget cop threaten to take me to jail for driving over the speed limit. Arizona can SMD. (Thx epmtyseat88)

I walk up to Evil Highlander's car, he tells me where to stand, and I start shivering. It's fucking 40 degrees out. I stick my hands in my hoodie pockets and start the involuntary shakes as my body tries to combat the cold.

"Take your hands out of your pockets!" He barks. Fuck! Ok they're out. Chill Kurgan!

After he explains the citation (so poor) and I sign the $799 ticket ($67 for speeding and $732 for not having a current insurance card) he asks me where I live. I say Vegas and show him where my new address is on the back of the license.

"Where are you staying tonight?" he asked again.

WTF? We've been through this. I tell him again, "Harvey's."

"Are you on anything?" He continues with the roadside interrogation.

Huh? This catches me off guard.

"Umm... No?" I counter. (btw this is not a good way to respond to a suspicious policeman.)

"Cause your eyes look, off." he says.

"Oh! I've been having really bad allergy attacks for the last week." I reply.

"What are you allergic to?" he continues.

"Everything really. Something was blooming in Vegas recently." I truthfully respond.

"Are you on crack or..." and before he finished I start laughing. Whenever I hear this phrase directed towards me or even near me I giggle. "Don't laugh. Let me finish. Are you on crack cocaine or meth?" He continues.

Holy shitballs! He's serious! I start laughing again. I have to say it, "No I'm not on crack."

"Well there's something going on with your eyes." He continues

"Yeah allergies dude." is he really gonna run with this.

"Can I check your pulse?" he asks.

Where are you going with this buddy? I give in and say, "Sure."

He grabs my right wrist just below my palm on the pinkie side. Ok now you're reaching lawman. The pulse is on the thumb side.

He stands there for a while, staring me down before he remembers to look down at his watch.

"Are you nervous? You have a pulse of 120." he states.

"I'm freezing." I say as my body tries to combat the frostbite developing on my fingers because you don't want me to put my hands in my pockets.

He sizes me up for a bit. Oh man my head is coming clean off. I see him sneering. I'm done. Its over.

He finally tells me to go back to my car and wait for him there. Dude! You already gave me an $800 ticket. What else are you going to ask me? Or are you waiting for the right moment to stab me in the neck?

He let's the guy with the plywood trailer go before he returns his attention to me. Jeebus man! You didn't even look in the plywood rape/kill trailer! You know his mummified mother is in there.

He comes back to my passenger side window and continues to ask about my drug habits.

"Look dude, I don't even drink soda. I'm not a meth head. I have all my teeth." It's all I got. What else can I say to this guy?

"Do you have a history of family heart problems?". The motherfucker keeps going. Is he going to ask for my medical records next? "You should get that checked out." He continues on! Man give it up. Your read was off.

"Drive safely." again! WTF!!!!

Ok I'm outta here? I start the car back up and... I start the car... I start... OMFG! Car won't start!!! What the motherfucking fuck fuck?

The battery is dead. I left the lights on for a half an hour while the douche bag questioned me about my non-existent drug habit.

The trip odometer reset for the first time in the history of the car and the clock is off. I get out of the car and walk back to the officer's car to tell him that my battery is dead.

I wait for the "are you really on drugs" question but he says he'll come back around in a few to see if I'm still there.

The car is half dead. The hazards work but it won't turn over. I let it sit for a couple of minutes, then try again. Still no go.

So I sit there for 15 minutes texting the gf some dirty things to keep me occupied while I watch the Highlander pull over another quota point.

He finally comes back and asks if I want him to push my car with his car, so I can pop the clutch. I say what the hell let's give it a whirl.

Needless to say the Highlander overlooks his hatred of drug users that turn out to be non-drug users and the clutch pops.

I'm outta here, until I hit the next speed limit sign and it says 50mph. I'll take it easy as he decides to follow me through the town of Yerington.

As soon as he flips a bitch on someone else I drop to the peddle to the floor and get the fuck outta there.

I make it to Tahoe in one piece with a Del Taco burrito in my hand as I plan playing at least 1 tournament tomorrow. Possibly 3 tournaments. We'll see. Check back for updates.

JDN

11.06.2008

$300 Venetian Deep Stack

Pretty sure last time I played a tourney here I won it. That was back in feb, it was an Omaha tourney, and Jeremiah Smith was almost killed by a falling ceiling tile at the mirage. Ahhh good times.

Table 43 seat 1

When I get to the table the dealer isn't dealing in the absent stacks. Whoa buddy. I tell him that he needs to deal them in and he tries to protest before I shut him down. Of course the rest of the table, who have let him do this for a couple of hands, chime in at this point and back me up. Whatta bunch of donks. He goes on to misdeal the 2nd hand of the tournament 3 times before getting it right.

I like this table.

Table draw!!!

Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: rwg
Seat 3: rwg
Seat 4: crazy old guy with a deep stack hat. Obv a fan of the Venetian
Seat 5: empty
Seat 6: young white guy that looks like Isaac Haxton on roids.
Seat 7: creepy older guy wearing no less than 15 necklaces, 10 bracletes, a dangley earring, lots of turquoise, and a "it's all good" hat. He also can't remember the blinds and basically shows everyone on his side of the table his cards when he looks at them.
Seat 8: young Asian kid wearing a hat, sunglasses and giant headphones. He has to pull his glasses down to look at his cards and pull his headphones back to hear the raises and calls. It's like playing with Hellen Keller.
Seat 9: empty
Seat 10: mr agressive. definaitely an Internet player.

A rpg sits down in seat 5 and seat 3 reveals himself to be a Canadian. Sly devil.

Seat 9 sneaks in and to everyone surprise, he's a random white guy with brown hair and glasses.

Not much happens in the first two levels. I win two decent pots and lose 1500 with JsJc on a Qd Td 9d flop. Somehow I see the river and call 1k bet from creepy turquoise guy. My read was right, he had 1 diamond but I forgot to factor in the turn and river. A 5 and another 5. He shows the 8d and 5s to take down the pot.

I think I have a recockulous tell on mr agressive. I need to see a couple more hands from him to validate my read.

Creepy turquoise guy doubles through the Canadian in probably one of the worst plays i've ever seen from two players. Needless to say turquoise guy check raises the flop with 2 pair and the Canadian calls with AJ. The turn is the Ac which puts 3 clubs on board and turquoise guy can't get his chips in fast enough. The Canadian calls and I'm quite confused. The 2 pair improve to a full house on the river after the Canadian asks for the board to pair. WTF?

I love my table.

We get a new seat 8 after the deaf, dumb, and blind Asian kid donates his chips to seat 9. I can't tell if seat 8 is a guy or a gal. The frame is def female but his/hers/it's voice is very male. It kinda looks like this lesbian chick I went to high school with. Weird.

12,275 at break. I was completely card dead for levels 2 and 3. But I don't need to push it. The game will come to me. I'm zen. Thanks to 3 very spicy bloodly marys.

Sometimes I get bored and decide to play hands that I shouldn't. Well, I think it would've worked against any other player accept mr agressive. I'm in the small blind and it folded to him on the button and he makes it 600. I had decided to reraise him with anything before the hand is even dealt.

So I looked down at T7 off and reraise him to 1700. He calls pretty quickly and I bet out 2500 on a flop of A 3 J. He calls. Crap. What are the chances he's got an ace? I mean really? The turn is an 8. I got outs. Snap. I bet 3500. He calls. Fucker.

This is the first hand I have played in two levels. Does he think I'm joking? (even though I am). I'm begging for a 9 on the river but it's a jack. Damn. I actually think about pushing my last 6k in. He should be good enough to lay his A6 or whatever down if I shove. Then there's always the off chance he's got a jack.

I'm done with this hand. Hopefully he bets so I don't have to show my embrassassing hand. He checks and shows A9. Thank you kind sir. I muck and pick up some more information on this goofball.

I steam call the next hand with Th 7h. I win the 3 way pot with a board of 8s 7s 3s 3d Ah. Back up to 9K.

The crazy turquoise guy is telling the table about the time he died in a motorcycle accident.

Isaac Haxton on roids just busted creepy turquoise guy with a two-outter on the river. I giggled.

I'm a rollercoaster. At my lowest I was a 4k. Then I worked it up to 25k. Now I'm at 5500.

I lost 40k pot towards the end of the level. Mr agressive raises to 1800 with blinds at 300/600. I call with jacks expecting to be playing the goofball heads up but the guy on the button decides to be a pain and calls. The flop is 3s 8s 9c. I bet out 2500 after the goofball checks and the but just calls. Flush draw? Prob. The turn is a Th. I bet 6K and the diggleberry on the button moves in. I don't give it much thought because I have an open ender now too. So I snap call. He shows T9. Ok I need a 7, Q, or a jack. Thats a lot of outs. Right?

The river is the 7s. Snap ship it. I look back at his hand to double check and low and behold he's got the Ts 9s. Damn it all to hell! Fuck shit!

This knocks me down to 6100.

I fold to the break and go into the 400/800 75 ante level with 5500. I'm under the gun when I get back. Gonna be sticking it in with just about any playable hand.

First hand back I look at Js Ts and let it rip. Its folded around to the goofball who quickly calls with a pair of 8's. With an 8 on the flop I'm drawing thin. The turn and river blank out and I bounce out the front door.

This is getting really brutal. Last I counted I have two cashes since starting this blog. One was a win, which is nice, and the other was in the BARGE main event which is like cashing... well, cashing the BARGE main event. LA Mike on the other hand is 1 for 1 and making me look bad.

To be fair I am playing some tournaments right. I've satellited into all of the big tournaments, even the WSOPE main event. It just doesn't seem like I'm getting any result other fail and sat wins and that is something that needs to change. Next week I'll heading to beautiful Lake Tahoe to play the WSOPC prelims. I'm really going to change my game for these events and just start firing. This playing tight BS is really getting on my damn nerves.

Hopefully we'll get some more post from the LA Mike soon. He can bring some hope to this depressing recount of my poker failings that pokerwtf has become.

JDN

10.31.2008

Heartland of America Update

Hi. So day 2 started with 18 players remaining in the event. I came into to the day with about 60k with the blinds at 1/2k. Table lineup:

1. IHD....Indiana hick donk who wanted to be my friend.
2. LA
3. HSTD....Hat Shades Tat Dude
4. WAG...Wild Asian Guy
5. Brian Brunner...a local legend in Indianapolis
6. AFWN....Adam Friedman's Worst Nightmare
7. Adam Friedman and his super whiny voice (I'm sure you may remember him from his WSOP exit a few years ago on ESPN)
8. AWD...Average White Dude
9. Donk

Play started at 1/2k and of course I drew the 2 seat and the big blind to start off play. Sweet, I'll fold immediately to Adam Friedman's raise from late position with my 92. He proceeds to let the table know he's a nit etc...continues to talk and talk and talk to absolutely nobody. The dude seriously put me on tilt with his annoying voice. 2:18pm, a mere 18 minutes into play, I ask the dealer to call for cocktails. The dealer was smoking hot by the way. She chats up LA and wants to have beers. Score another one for the good guys. Couple Heinekens show up and I create a pseudo cocktail table out of the tourney directors chair. I know I'm in for the long haul today. Friedman talks to himself some more.

Adam Friedman talks some more and we lose 3 players fairly quickly to get down to 15. I didn't have any support at all for the first level, but I knew I could pick on the 1 seat whenever it was blind vs blind. He blew chunks. Not too much happening as I'm down to 41k as we go to 1.5/3k. I still feel ok though. Sure enough, Friedman opened for I think 6.6k, the button and small blind call. I'm in the big blind and make up my mind I'm shipping it in before I even look. In fact, I only looked at one card the 7 of hearts. I look at sexy dealer and let her know I'm playing for my tourney life. Predictably everyone mucks (Friedman talks some nonsense) and I increase my stack by over 20k to like 62k. Weee, we don't even show down our junk. I never even looked at the second card. Next orbit I raise 88 and 1010 on consecutive hands to 8k and have to muck with the action behind me. I nearly got it in with the 1010 but mucked to see AA. Score another one for the good guys. Down to 46k. Folded to small blind who makes it 9k to go. I sit back, take a sip or two of Heineken, give the guy a quick look and look down at 83. I'm all in for 45k and change. He immediately folds A6 diamonds. That worked well back to 55k. Lose a few more players and we're down to 12. More Heinekens delivered. Ok things are looking up.

Raise a couple hands and take them down to get up to about 75k. Friedman proceeds to bust blind vs blind 99 vs his AQ. God, peace and quiet at our table for once. Down to 11 and on final table bubble. I pick up AK soooted in the big blind and there's a raise and call before it gets to me. I repop to take down another 18k or so. Guy busts at other table and at 10 we combine to one table. I enter final table at 88k and feel very good considering I haven't picked up AA or KK the entire tournament while only looking down at QQ once. The blinds are only 2k/4k so I have plenty of play.

Final table was a fucking disaster for me. Muck the first several hands to see how things are going to play out at this table. Then I pick up, AJ clubs in mid/late position and raise it up. Folded to the chip leader who proceeds to make really huge reraise with handful of orange chips. Shit, my cards go flying into the muck. I fold a bit more and then all hell breaks lose. UTG raises it up, late position donk repops. I look down at QQ on the button and have him covered by a measly 17k. Keep in mind QQ, looked like AA to me and the stone cold. I still think for about a minute. Sure enough, I decide to get it in with the QQ and he obv rolls in with AK. Ugg, win a f'n race just once. Flop is great for us, turn good too. River fucking A. I let out a groan and count down my stack to 17k. The very next hand the big stack opens for 12k and I look down at KK. Score, first time all tourney. I put in the last 17k and both the big blind and original raiser call. Flop is 762, looks harmless enough to me. Turn is an 8, and the small blind fires for 20k...FUCK, I know I'm dead. Sure enough, he flips over 66 for a set. I finish 10th. GG life and GG liver. I proceed to need to get wasted.

I text my friend from LA who happened to be in Chicago visiting her fam and friends. Tell her I wanna get wasted, we plan to meet up in the city with a few of her friends. New Castle and shots of nonsense follow. As that place shuts down, a few of us end up at this bar called Exit. I was not familiar with this place at all. The downstairs seemed fairly normal, people drinking and such with a few Halloween customes mixed in. Well, apparently my friend was interested in having some fun at my expense. We walk upstairs and that's the dominatrix area I guess. Before I know it, I'm chained up to the fence. I got whipped and shocked all over my back and ass. The worst part is, there's photo evidence of it floating around. Once again GG life! Who knew things were actually more normal in LA? I'm outta the heartland.

-LA Mike

10.30.2008

Welcome to America's Heartland!

Hi. I'm LA Mike, some of you loyal readers probably have heard of the legendary name. Some of you probably are saying, "Screw this idiot, where's JDN at?" Well, he's a worldly traveler but that doesn't include the Heartland baby! LA Mike gets sent to do correspondence from the "not so desired tourney stops."

Anyway, I'm in the $2.1k NL Circuit event from Hammond. I flew in from LA, just for this big internship with pokerwtf.com. This could turn into the next google or youtube ya know? Now remember, I left LAX and it was 88 degrees outside. I land in the NWA 757 and realize it's f'n snowing outside. WTF? It's 36 degrees in the Heartland of America!

I make it to the casino early enough to jump into a $250 STT for the $2100 event. Weee, play is horrible LA chops it up with HU. BTW, also chopped up the $100 7-way last longer. Oops, now LA is getting in on the cheap. LA proceeds to cage, signs all his right away and buys in. I tell lady as she's counting my money that I'd like to vote for the local guy Obama...she peers up at me with this completely baffled look on her face. I say, "ya, I'd like to go ahead and vote now too". She's not overly amused I don't think after realizing I was just goofing on her.

I get my seat and boy o boy what a lineup. My abbreviations may slightly differ from JDN's so I'll try to explain.

1. LA
2. CWSD...Chick with squatters disease, every decision she had this pained looked on her face like she was pinching off a giant load. She stunk like cig smoke too. Ugg LA pissed.
3. RD...random donk
4. SODWDMF....Super Old Donk Who Didn't Miss Flop
5. Tatoo guy with backward hat...later I find out he's Kevin Saul's buddy.
6. TAG
7. DWOPEH....Dumbass Who Overplays Every Hand
8. SSOD....Super Super Old Dude
9. OGHS...Old Guy Hawaiian Shirt

Start with 15k chips, LA plays pretty solid first 2 levels up to 25k...score one for the good guys!

Table ends up breaking and LA wanders around for awhile looking for his new seat. LA finds beer lady...score! Two Heinekens please, weeee.....

I find new table, I am card dead for like 6 hours just stealing and occasionally restealing to stay afloat and build to about 30k at dinner break. Good enough, buffet time.

LA chats it up with Tourney Director extradonaire Chris Spears...he proceeds to introduce LA Mike to the local Hammond crowd over the PA...wow, instant respect for LA from the locals. I think to myself, mamas gonna be proud...I've finally made it!

Anyway, a few other things I want to discuss but I made it to the final 18 and into the money after a brutal money bubble. Play starts back up at 2pm CDT today with 18 left, I have about 60k at 1k/2k. I'll be looking to put it in quickly.

Oh one other thing, the damn boat confiscated my computer on my way in, apparently too much porn or some shit. WTF? More to come...sorry for the wait.

-LA Mike

10.25.2008

Caesars Classic $1000 heads up

I've never played a live heads up tourney before but I'm master of the $13.75 heads up token sngs on FTP.

On the drive in I was behind Cantu's car and his personalized license plate read CMYAGNT. That made me giggle. And when I remembered that his agent is Matt Palmer, I giggled some more.

The tournament started late as they waited for it fill up. Of course I had to take a last longer with Gsmith.

They were playing two matches per table and John Phan was in the other match at my table. It didn't take long for John to call for cocktails and order me a Bloody Mary.

My opponent introduced himself as Sam. He kinds looked Eric Mizrachi and he wore an ensemble of Ed Hardy gear. Lots of bedazzling going on.

The first big hand we got involved in came just 3 hands in. I held T6 in the big blind and he limped in. The flop came 4 T 8. He check raised my bet of 300 to 700. I called. The turn was a 7 and he bet out 800. I call. The river is another 8. He bets out 1250. Fucker. I call. He shows 89. Bahhhhh.

During the next few hands he mentions something about Chino (David Rheem) so I ask him if he's from Florida. He says "originally". I fucking knew it! He's one of those guys!

So I call him down in a couple hands with middle pair and lose most of my chips. He also proceeds to fold preflop to all my pairs. 6 of them to be exact. Queens, jacks, nines, eights, sevens, sixes and jacks again.

Ok well... It's taken me most of my stack to figure out that he does not play like those cats from Florida. He's much tighter but that early hand really threw me off.

He gets me down to 2500 before he moves all in from the small blind. I look down at AQ. I call and he shows A8. I double to 5k. Coolio. Back in it.

A few hands later in look down at AK in the small blind and raise to 1200. He moves all in and I call with 4600 left. He shows A8 again and I double to over 9k.

With the blinds at 200/400 I make it 1200 to go from the small blind. Or so I think. Sam looks at the dealer and says "What's that?"

There's only 700 there. I threw out a 500 chip instead of a 1000. So I have to complete to 800. Shit. Blew that one.

Sam moves all in. Ok weird. Seems like he's protecting his hand. I tell him I was trying to raise to 1200.

I read him for a big ace or a medium to small pair. It still seems weird that he would push if he had a weaker hand. He's got to have something. Right? Bollocks. I fold my deuces face up.

He shows an ace. Damn! He did have a weak ace. Still in don't know if I should have stuck it in. Two overs is still a race.

A couple of hands later he slow plays jacks and on a nine high flop and I lose some more chips. The blinds to up to 300/600 and I have 4600.

I ship it on three staight small blinds. I have AT, J9 and Jc9c. He folds a red king on the first two hands and finally calls with K8 on the third hand. The flop is Q high and the turn brings a T. So I can win with a 8, 9, J, or a K. River is an ace and I'm done.

ballsack.

JDN

10.23.2008

Caesars Classic $500 Omahahahaha Hi Lo

The last time I played an Omaha tournament was at the world series and I'm pretty sure I was the first person out. I wish I could say that the reason i played so bad was because I was odrunk or high but it really came down retardation.

I hope to correct the flaw in my Omaha game today. The problem, today at least is that I am high. I woke up this morning with a faucet for a nose and I was forced to take some allergy meds.

The secret phrase for today is, "Play tight motherfucker!"

Table 58 seat 8

Table draw:

Seat 1: a cowboy
Seat 2: random Asian guy
Seat 3: my accountant, I shit you not. His name is James something
Seat 4: rowg
Seat 5: rowg
Seat 6: empty
Seat 7: rowg
Seat 8: jdn
Seat 9: rowg

All the interesting people seem to be at the other end of the table.

Seat 7 is pretty horrid. He's playing any 4 cards and slow playing his made hands while betting the draws

The older guys in seats 4 and 5 couldn't wait 50 minutes to the break and had to leave to table to take a wizz. I would bet, that with the average age of this tournament at somewhere near 55, that we're going to be seeing a lot of potty breaks. It's like a faux seniors event.

Oh sweet Jesus! Allen "The Chainsaw" Kessler just sat down in seat 7. Here comes the bad beat story.

It takes all of 3 minutes for Allen to tell everyone how he busted out of the Bellagio, QQ vs AA, big deal. Then he goes on a tirade about the structure of the tourney. He walks around to each table looking for someone that he knows so that he can complain to them.

He tells Barry Schulman that he should write about it on Cardplayer.

The dealer is telling seat 7 about how his marriage fell apart after his son died in a motorcycle accident. Aiyeah! As if Omaha wasn't depressing enough Mr. "penis vein in nose" dealer man.

Made the break!! Yes! And I made 100. 5100 at break. Next level is 200/400. Holy shit. Allen was right. This does suck.

I haven't been writing any hands down cause... frankley it's damn boring.

So I lose 1100 in the first hand back from break with AAKQ. See? Boring.

My accountant is out to get me. He reraises my KK95 with AQ47 and flops an ace and the nut flush draw. I'm thinking of looking for a new accountant.

Get knocked down to 1400 when I flop a wrap on a Q 4 5 board with A346 against the Asian and my accountant. I make a low on the river but it's second best. Def looking for a new accountant. And probably a new Asian too.

The Chainsaw just called Jack Effel to complain about the structure.

I double up to 2k with 245J vs AQT9 on a A 4 T 2 4 board. Yeah boy! I got 2k. Which is kinda sad when you think about it.

I actually bluff with A466 on a 9 7 8 Q K board with my tournament life on the line, and win! Up to 4600.

My accountant busted, his job is safe, and he's replaced by a guy by 3 times his size. He looks like a garage pail kid wearing headphones. Leaky Liz? Atom Bomb? Flabby Abby? That's all I got.

I'm a rollercoaster. At my lowest I was at 1400. At my peak 6k. Then I had to double up the chainsaw when I flopped 2 pair vs his flush draw.

3100 at 2nd break. Next level is 600/1200. Fuck balls.

Yeah that didn't last long. I got it all in with two pair against a gut shot and he gets there. So poor.

Hey look! The 7pm tournament is starting! Let's get it on!

Caesars 7pm $200

Yeah well, might as well play it.

The first person I recognize at my table is the skinny white hat guy. AKA douche bag. And he's eating again. Pretty sure he only gets food at the poker table.

Table 11 seat 1

Table draw!

Seat 1:
jdn
Seat 2: heavily tattoo'd german chick. Interesting...
Seat 3: rowg
Seat 4: rywg
Seat 5: skinny white hat guy (douche bag)
Seat 6: rywg
Seat 7: rowg
Seat 8: rowg
Seat 9: empty

Heh. Well I double the white hat douche bag with 99 vs TT. He folded the best hand the hand before so I thought he would he on minor tilt which he was but I was just a step behind.

And now I'm out. 4 5 6 flop with A6 vs 99. GG.

Cocktails!

JDN

10.21.2008

Sometimes I get bored UPDATE!

... all I can say is, "Well played, FTP. Well played."


Hello, JDN.

Thanks for your email. Your case has been escalated to me and I'll do all I can to explain our position on this matter.

While we understand your frustration over Mr. Ivey's alleged theft of your iPod (or uSheep, as we prefer to call them due to the blind fawning loyalty of their users), obviously we cannot pass judgment until we are allowed access to the security cameras at the Casino at the Empire. Even more obviously, the casino's management will never allow us that access. And more obviouser still, Mr. Ivey will more than likely deny any wrongdoing.

As a result, our most obviousest conclusion is to assume that your story is a fabrication, and therefore we consider this matter closed.

What troubles us more than your spurious accusations, however, is the blatant racial musical profiling you have used to make some conclusions about Mr. Ivey's taste in music. There is no place for such bigotry in poker, Jason, or any where else, for that matter. We know many Caucasians that enjoy the pounding beats of that hippity-hop music, and we are also aware of many people of color who enjoy the twangin' sounds of today's country music (otherwise known as "crappy pop with a steel guitar").

Further, we were very disheartened to see you your thinly-veiled disdain for the great Barry Manilow, who we consider to be a musical demigod. Shame on you, Jason. May you never fall in love at the Copa.

On a positive note, we do appreciate you explaining the mysteries of "position" to us as it relates to the game of poker. It's not often that one of our players teaches us something about poker, but on those rare occasions we give credit where credit is due.

As for your request for compensation, our policy precludes us from submitting to this form of blackmail, because, as you know, if we give in then the terrorists win. However, we may be able to grant your request for a personal avatar; we have attached a couple of prototypes for you to review. Please let us know if either is acceptable.

We trust you understand our position, JDN, and wish you the best of luck at the tables.

Sincerely,

Mike
Full Tilt Poker Support

PS: My eight year old daughter tells me that the Jonas Brothers are the greatest thing since Hannah Montana. And I don't know who *she* is either, before you ask.


jdnavatar1.jpg

jdnavatar2.jpg



This is a recent email that I sent to Full Tilt support about Phil Ivey's actions during the WSOPE. Hopefully they'll send a response back.

Hello FTP support peeps,

I recently played in the WSOPSE Horse tournament in London and was fortunate, or unfortunate depending on how you look at it, enough to have Mr. Philip Ivey to my left, that means he has position on me, for about 8 hours. Now it wasn't enough that he is the luckiest person in poker, and quite good looking too (no I'm not gay), but he also decided to steal my ipod.

How rude!

Actually, he asked me to look through his ipod, which turns out to be stolen too, to find something for him to listen to. I asked him what he liked and he said, "What do you think?"

"Barry Manilow?" I responded.

I thumbed through the artists list and was amazed to find among others, Clay Aiken, The Jonas Brothers (Who the F are they?), and I shit you not, Vanilla Ice. Now I know that this is not Phil's ipod because I've seen Phil pal around with Irv Gotti of Murder Inc fame. That mofo is gansta! And so are his rap projects.

"Phil," I said. "This pretty white." I guessed that this ipod must have had to belonged to Paul Phillips (you probably don't know who that is, but if you look up his account, he has a personal avatar) at some point. I know that Phil and Paul were pals at one point and that Paul even named his first born Ivey. Can you say bromance?

I pulled out my ipod and dialed him up some Black Milk. I pressed play and hand it to him to listen too. Then the table broke. Phil said, "I'm going to borrow this." Then he walked off to his new table. That was the last I saw of my lovely ipod.

I was then moved to John Juanda's right (that means he has position on me) and to my right was Max Pescatori (that means I have position on him). At this point I'm pretty sure that Full Tilt has it out for me. A few hands later was busted out of the tournament during Stud 8 by Mr Juanda and Doyle "Tex Dolly" Brunson.

So not only did one of your Team Full Tilt members bust me out of the tournament, one of them stole my ipod. Its quite a statement about the people you have representing your site. Whats next? Paul Wasicka robs me at gun point?

So at this point I'm prepared to ask for reparations. (Don't worry, I'll be emailing Doyle's Room to inform them of the shady play of their #1 endorsee.)

For my pain, suffering and loss of ipod I would like you to send me a brand new ipod and a 24" computer monitor. Would also like to have a personal avatar. Who can make that happen? Please forward this onto that person.

I look forward to your positive response,
JDN