$500 6-handed NLH Caesars Circuit

I find an orange skittle in my pocket while walking through the casino. That's good luck right?

First thing I see when I walk into the pokerroom is an Eskimo lurking for change. We make eye contact, he recognizes me but I'm pretty sure he doesn't know my name.

I make it by him without being asked for money. Sweet. I'm already a winner on this day.

This a 6 handed event. I've flamed out of the last two I played before the first break. Those were at the series and in Tahoe and that was when I was running bad. I'm not running great or even playing decent but... I really wanted to play golf today but there were lightening bolts on my iPhone. So I'm playing poker.

Apparently I just wanted to lose $500 today.

Table 38 seat 3

Table draw!

Seat 1: rwg. Think I've played with him before. He's kinda clueless.
Seat 2: rwg who's a damn know it all
Seat 3: JDN
Seat 4: rwg
Seat 5: Thor Hansen. The dealer already made a joke about his missing hammer.
Seat 6: rbg (random black guy). Trying to bust to play the Venetian because he didn't know it was a 6 handed tourney.

The rbg is a cockroach. He gave all his chips to Thor before I double him up from 300 when my 33 got counterfeited by the board and his J high wins.

Then he gets down to 50, yes 50 chips, and doubles 3 hands in a row with 95 vs AQ, JT vs QQ, and A9 vs JJ.

Aiyeah. He's doubled at least 3 more times but he still only has 1200.

Doubled again up to 3K. Seat 1, a Canadian, has doubled him up 4 times and he's down to 4200.

The Kings of Leon should change the title of their new album to "Songs to Hump By." I'm sitting here with a bunch of guys wanting to get back home for nefarious reasons. Gotta change the tunes.

I limp for 100 with 22 in late position and seat 2 raises it to 500. Everyone folds back to me and since I haven't hit a set in a while, I call.

The flop falls 8 2 9 and I check and he bets 800. I call and check the 3 on the turn. He bets 2500 leaving himself 2000 behind

I put him all in and he calls showing queens. Sweet! Ship it.

20K at break. That skittle I found in my pocket was lucky!

They got 247 players for this tourney. The SCOOP must be over.

A little High on Fire has cured me of my "Leon Boner" and I'm winning hands with my renewed focus.

I participate in this series of texts with Jeremiah early in the 3rd level.

Jeremiah Smith:
Yo homoface just sent you some money on tilt

JDN:
Sweet. Playing the 6 handed. 20k at break.

JS:
What 6 handed???

JDN:
caesars

JS:
Wtf. Thanx for telling me. Woulda loved that.

JDN:
I was gonna golf but here instead. Schedule is online.

JS:
I'm so tilted right now.

JDN:
Self induced?

JS:
By u not telling bout 6max

i hate u

so much

JDN:
You're such a girl

JS:
I would say go blow yourself but i know ur too fat

JDN:
LOL nice one


In the 4th level rbg raises to 750 under the gun. On the button I reraise to 1750 with AK. He calls and the flop is 9h 2h 3c. Check check.

The turn is the 4h and he bets 2700. Hmm, this is not making a lot of sense to me. He usually checks the made hands. But to call the reraise preflop, he's gotta have a decent hand. I basically put him on a JT or better but no pair. I also rule out two hearts. One heart makes more sense.

I got the gut shot draw too. I call the 2700.

The river is the 2s. He bets 4525. Well, that couldn't have helped him. None of this is making sense.

I tank it. Replaying the hand in my head. Nope. No way. Riiight. Nothing is adding up.

I look over at him and he's pulling a chris ferguson. Hands on chin, covering his nose and chin, just staring at me. This is new. Haven't seen this before.

He keeps staring at me. Now with any other player I would take this as a strong hand. But not him.

I call. He shows QT. Gotcha biatch! I show my AK. Minor freak out on the table as I scoop the pot.

I bust a dingleberry when I flop another set at the end of the level. I'm a machine.

47K at 2nd break.

I pretty much just maintain for the next two levels before these two hands happen.

A new seat 2 does not know how to bet preflop. He's betting out 4 and 4.5 times the blind while the rest of the table is betting less than 3 times.

Everyone is waiting to catch him with a 3 bet. So of course it's folded him on the button and he raises to 2300. I look down at QQ and raise to 6500. He calls.

The flop is Ad Jh 2d. He quickly checks outta turn. I bet out 8K sensing weakness and he raises all in. WTF?

I ditch the queens and he shows an ace.

On the very last hand of the level seat 4 moves in under the gun for 7500. It's folded to me in the big blind and I look down at QdJd. They're probably live. I just lost a big pot. I'm on tilt. I call.

He shows AdQc. Blargh. But a jack on the flop wins it for me. Sweet.

30K at dinner break.

I get moved to the table behind me and there are two women at the table. Last two in the tourney.

Then something happens to me that's never happened before. It's folded to me on the button, I raise to 2100 with 94. Standard right? I drop a chip on my cards and as I pull my hand away the edge of the card catches a ridge somewhere in my finger print and flips the cards over.

Wait! What?

The card flips over, the chip drops straight down on top of the 9. My 4 of spades is exposed.

...

So embarrassing.

Everyone laughs. The small blind shows a 3 of clubs and folds. Then the big blind, a woman, who's low in chips, moves in. I have to fold and she shows QJ.

Bah!

Blinds move up to 600/1200 and I'm hovering around 25K.

I pick up kings and everyone folds. Shenanigans!!!

The TDs may have changed the payout structure mid-tournament.

Details to come.

Make another break with 35K. 36 players left.

I get all in for the first time in tournament with AK in the big blind. The lady with all the chips folds AQ face up. Sgghhfsaghhjllkjk!

The pay out structure has been changed from 27 peeps to 24. Bunk. Basically they said that the payouts were for a 9 handed tourney and they had to change it to a 6 handed one.

Makes sense.

The night TDs at Caesars are way better than the morning ones.

I bust the old guy in seat 2 with my hot mess of a A8 vs his K8. Up around 75K.

I make a big call with 2 pair and it's good. Up to 110K.

We redraw at 30 players and I swear to god my cousin Nathan is to my right. Except he's wearing Ed Hardy. Nathan would never wear that... Well, he might.

In the big blind I get moved to another table behind the button. Sweet! Allie Prescott is the only person I know here.

I try and abuse the bubble and I get the cards to do it, but I end up breaking even on the level and finish at the break with 116K.

4th break. I gotta pee.

25 peeps left. We'll be hand for hand when we get back.

Oh momma. On the small blind I decide to 3 bet anyone that raises. Under the gun raises to 6500 and the Ginger to his left calls. I reraise to 19200 with K2. Wait wait! Hear me out.

I know the Ginger doesn't have a big hand and the Asian under the gun will fold AK here.

The Asian folds and the Ginger reluctantly calls. The flop is Q 2 4. He checks and I move in. He quickly folds. Looks like a middle pair to me.

Up to about 140K.

Finally!!! We make the money. I got close to 150K. I think we get $1200 for 24th.

Donk off a bunch of chips to the retarded ginger who called my raise with 76 vs my A6.

58k at the next break. 16 left.

In the 2000/4000 level seat 6 raises under the gun to 1200. I call with 33. Allie calls behind.

The flop falls 9h 3c 3h. Oh. Snap. Bitch. Now how am I going to get any chips outta this?

Seat 6 moves in. Ah! Ha! I call. Way to quickly. Allie shows the Ah 4h and folds. Fudge.

Seat 6, who is a ringer for Tim Meadows, shows Ad 8d.
Ship it this way. Back up to 145k.

I bust seat 2 with TT vs his 66 and we're down to 12. Table redraw. I got 200K.

I like my new seat. I'm in 6 with two big stacks to my right. The first hand is of course raised by the young kid with the beanie to my right. I look down at A5 and make the call.

The flop falls A 3 K. He bets out on the flop for less than half the pot and I call. I also decide to call him down on this hand. He's a solid player, but I've seen him over play a couple of hands. The turn is a 6. He bets half the pot, about 45K. I call.

The river is an 8 and he quickly moves in. What? I got about 125K left. Weird. I tank it. I look at the payouts, 5 minutes to end of the day. Still have a lot of chips if I fold.

I notice that a couple a guys on the rail stand up to watch this hand. They're wearing beanies too. Must be a gang. They're all young.

I ask the kid if that's his backer. He says yes. Pretty sure the little one is Chad Batista. He could be showing off for his backer. He's either got nothing or everything. Smells a little like a bluff, or maybe he even has a K.

If I win this hand I'll be up around 450K. I can fold, play it safe and come back tomorrow.

Fuck it. I call.

He's got a King. And an Ace. Bollocks. Nice hand sir. I muck my cards.

My 1st really horrible read of the day.

Bah. 12th place pays $2K. Not bad for a days work. Even better, I was playing good. Not too tight, aggressive and making spot on reads has me feeling really good about playing some more tournaments at Caesars and beyond.

This is a stepping stone.



JDN

Dream Team Poker

The night before the tournament I, Jeremiah "That Donkey" Smith and the GF, attend some sort of party in the poker room at Caesars. It wasn't easy to get a drink and it was harder to get our jerseys!

Even though it was on the wall, we couldn't get it.



I guess we have to buy in. ok ok.

While standing in line with Miah, we're discussing the latest issue of Invincible when Zee Justin and Jimmy Fricke walk up. This should be good. Miah says "hi" to both before Jimmy throws out a hand to me. I shake it, then say, "Do you know who I am?" He says no. Sweet. I tell him I'm the guy that forwarded the email from Howard to you.

Awkward silence.

He says, "Sorry."

I laugh it off and continue with the talk with Miah about Invincible. Issue #60 was awesome.

After buying in we get our jerseys.

Oh yeah, our 3rd is non other than Scott Fischman. And we're Team Zurvive. Don't ask about the name.

The peeps from Dream Team sent me this email about a week before and here's my response:

1) Why you think you have the best team?

We don't have anywhere near the best team. Our best chance to win is to move in on any two cards that make a flush or straight. This technique is also know as the Jeremiah "That Donkey" Smith system.

2) How you came up with your team name?

Truthfully? Spellcheck on the computer broke.

3) How you decided on who was going to be on your team?

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear there're prissy, wine all that
Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
I don't think sow
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

Jeremiah's response to #3 was classic:

#3) Most teams are trying to put together a team of mixed playing styles, but we took that one step further. We are fielding a has-been, a wannabe, and a never-was.

I'm not sure who I am but I would put money on the wannabe.

Day 1

We're starting no earlier than 12:45. It's takes 30 minutes to get people in their seats and just when we think we're going to see some cards, we get some special announcements. One by the founder of Dream Team Poker, one by the mayor of Beverly Hills (WTF), and one by a congress woman who's name I can't remember. Shelly something. Regardless it was a brutal 45 minutes waiting for this thing to start.

In the first orbit I lose 3K with 44 vs seat 5 when he fires 2 bullets with AK and catches the ace on the river. Blargh.

An orbit later I raise with AA in early position and everyone folds. So it's just gonna be one of those days.

My right eye is killing me. I feels like someone rubbed a chipolte in my eye. I'm slowly turning into Popeye here.

In the 50/100 level it's mistakenly minraised by seat 5 and I call the extra 100 with K2. The flop falls 8s Kd Qs. Sweet, time for a check raise. It's checked around. Bah! I bet $350 on the turn when a jack falls.

Seat 5 calls and I bet 625 on the river. Its an 8. Seat 5 thinks about it for a few seconds before he raises to 3600. Damn it! He makes a funny face and winks at me. Full house or quads? I fold. Down to 5500.

Table 36 seat 1

Table draw:

Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: rwg can't remember his name but he's on team Drity Sanchez.
Seat 3: rwg with a Jew-fro. And no, it's not Alex Jacob.
Seat 4: rowg that I've played with before. He's a got a bad mustache too.
Seat 5: rwg. Way too old to be wearing a basketball jersey. But to his credit he's wearing a sweat shirt under it.
Seat 6: Steve Sung. He left in the 2nd level to go play a blackjack tournament at the bellagio
Seat 7: rwg. Some girl on his team walked up to talk to him and she wasn't wearing a bra under her jersey. I know exactly what her breasts look like. All I can think about is a motorboat.
Seat 8: rag
Seat 9: rwg
Seat 10: rag. Minor SAG.

9950 at break. Jeremiah has 15k and Scott has 12k.

Joe Sebok tucks his jersey in. I LOL'd.

Steve Sung just came back but he has to go back to the bellagio at 4 for more BJ.

Jeremiah just got congratulated over the pa for going deep in the main event. I'm def the never-was.

Level up! 200/400 with a 50 ante. Gamble gamble. I got 10k.

Steve Sung can make his BJ tournament. He's busto.

Seat 5 stares at my chips every time he raises. So now I call him on it every hand. I'm trying to tilt him and it seems to be working. He lost two raise hands in a row. Haha fucker!

With blinds at 200/400 I raise to 1100 in middle/early position with KcQc. The rag in seat 8 calls from the big blind. The flop is 2 5 6. Check check. The turn is a K. He bets out 1400 and I call. The river is a 4 and he checks. I must be good. I bet 2000 and he calls.

I show my KQ and he flips over what I think is KQ. On my second take I see that it's KK. WTF?! That's right I gotta hit the 1 outter to lose any money. But he plays it so bad I get away cheap.

Down to 5500 I get it all in with AK vs the 99 of seat 10. Ace on the flop and I'm up to 10K. Again. Starting stack.

A few orbits later seat 3 raises under the gun to 1200. Seat 7 flat calls and I move in with KT on the button. I know seat 3 reads this as a squeeze and moves in. I'm racing. Then seat 7 calls all his chips off, seat 3 has him covered.

Seat 3 shows 66 and seat 7 shows JJ. After a T on the flop I blank out and head to the Mermaid Maid Bar to kick it with Scott Huff, his GF, and Amanda Leatherman. None of them make me fell better about the way I played, so I have a few more Hieneken's before hitting up the roulette table.

Fuck this team shit!

Jeremiah busts a few hands after me and Scott actually makes it to the bubble before busting with KK vs QQ.

Aiyeah!

JDN
(I'm not spell checking this BS before I post it. Deal with it!)

LAPC $300 NLH $100K guarantee

It's been raining all night like a bitchfist, but when I leave the pad it has cleared up slightly. There's no traffic on the 10 because it's Presidents Day. Shitty weather plus a holiday equals not much traffic. Yay for me.

Then I get to interstate 5 and things slow down a bit. Then I get to the Washington exit and the line of cars stretch back onto the freeway. Ick. Can all these people be going to the Commerce to play a $300 tournament on a Monday?

Yup.

They're not going to have a problem getting the guarantee. Valet was full and I had to park about 1 mile away from the casino. Lucky for me it had stopped raining.

I run upstairs to get in line. In a line that runs back through a part of the commerce I didn't even know existed! There's more elevators back here.

There are about 500 people in line ahead of me. Damn it. I should have had Bobo buy me in. He's already playing. Bad planning on my part.

1:18pm
I see Chris Ferguson buying in. Times are rough.

1:24pm
The line hasn't progressed much. Looks like I'm gonna miss the 1st 3 levels. Minimum.

1:36pm
I can see the entrance to the tournament room. Looks like there is an equally long alternate line that follows the buy in line. Man, I need a beer.

1:45pm
First level has ended. Good news, the blinds were only 25/25.

1:59pm
I buy in. I'm alternate 293. Cocktails!

2:20pm alternate line
I run into Jeremiah Smith. After a lengthy chat, I'm still 200 deep in the alternate line.

2:28pm alternate line
Looks like they're putting people in the tent. There's a mofo'ing hurricane outside!

2:36pm alternate line
I have decided that this is the worst tournament experience of my life.

2:44pm alternate line
The old guy in front of me is wearing those ughhs boots. Dude, you're too old and you're a dude!!!

2:50pm alternate line
I make it back into the tournament room.

2:56pm
I take my seat at table 13 seat 6. 7 minutes left in level 3.

And I'm out.




I pick up queens on my second hand and get it all in on the turn of a board reading 6 7 9 T. The ole A8 has me drawing dead. GG.

What a waste of fricken time!

Fuck this shit I'm going back to Vegas.

JDN

Poker on Fremont

January is gonna be pretty slow for me since I couldn't sat into the Aussie Millions or the PCA. Time to go downtown. Its the weekend after new years so there will be alot of people in town to fill up the cheap tournaments.

So Jeremiah, katkin and I make it downtown in time for the 7pm $65 tournament at the Golden Nugget. We start with 2000 in chips and with a $40 rebuy we can get another 3000.

I order heineken #1 and take my seat at table 6 seat 9.

Table draw:
Seat 1: old guy that looks like Kyle Gass from tenacious d
Seat 2: empty
Seat 3: old balding guy with a Hawaiian shirt on. Isn't it a bit cold for that?
Seat 4: another older guy worrying about whether or not he can afford the rebuy.
Seat 5: really old guy playing way too tight for a $65 tournament.
Seat 6: empty
Seat 7: Jeremiah smith
Seat 8: crazy old guy that mumbles to himself. Then again, he maybe talking to me.
Seat 9: jdn
Seat 10: younger guy that left the tournament for 10 mins to go to the ATM to get his rebuy.

I get it all in on the 4th hand of the tournament with 7d5d vs Mumbles' A8 vs Miah's 65 off. Needless to say,I end up playing the board and am left with 500. Miah rebuys and Mumbles takes the pot.

I get it in again the very next hand with A7 vs Mumbles' KK. This guy is on fire! Rebuy!

No long afterward Jeremiah busts with 27 vs Mumbles' A2. He's unstoppable folks.

Katkin is at the other table, there's only two tables, and he's treading water at the "tight" table.

Mumbles finally loses all his chips in a race and he has to rebuy. He's mortal after all.

Where the he'll is that cocktail waitress? I'm parched over here.

Jeremiah texted me from Binions. Apparently they swapped the 6pm and the 8pm tournies. So the 8pm is a $55 instead. Weak sauce.

I actually make the break with 3800. Katkin busted on the last hand before break so we book it over to Binions to check it out.

When we get over there I make eye contact with Amir Vahedi. He's playing the 6pm. Wow when times are tough, times are tough. As katkin buys in I say hi to amir and he tells me he's a little embarrassed that he's playing at Binions.

Don't worry about it buddy. I'm playing at the Nugget. In a $65 tournament. Two weeks ago I was playing the $15k at the bellagio. So poor.

In the restroom I see a guy getting his reeboks polished. That's baller.

Four hands after break we get down to 10 players and the final table. Sweet! And I'm not the shortest at the table. Of course I get the big blind with blinds at 200/400.

Heineken #2 finally shows up.

In the small blind, the button raises to 1500 and I push in for 3400. Big blind folds and the button calls. I show 66 and he shows AhJh. The board runs out 6 8 J J 5. Hahaha. Ship it! I double to 7200.

Two hands later I get it all in on a flop of 2c 8c 2s with AcQc vs Crazy Ivan's 99. A Queen on the turn seals the deal but a club hit the river to rub it in. 15,000.

8 players left and 3 places pay.

We get down to 7 when Mumbles gets all in with bottom pair vs kings and hit his 2 pair on the river. This guy is amazing.

We color up the 100 chips and I got 17,500. Cocktail waitress is no where to be seen.

I just realized that seat 7 is missing the end of his middle finger on his left hand. Missing digits at the poker table is a bad sign and nothing ever good comes of it.

The missing finger guy recongizes Jeremiah, from what I assume was his donk fest in this years main event. I yell over to Miah, who's busted out of binions and now playing cash at the next table, that he just got recongized for being on TV. The dealer says, "Ohhh yeah. I saw him on the WSOP."

I make everyone that can hear me knows that the donkey from the WSOP is playing 1/2.

I take another 7k off Mumbles to get up 24,000.

Still no heineken.

After busting a short stack I get up to 31,000. We're down to 5.

Missing says that he played softball with Jeremiah. That takes the wind outta sails but I still LOL'd.

I bust Crazy Ivan with T2. That's Doyle's hand! On the money bubble! I'm a pretty big chip leader. I got more than half the chips in play.

40k on break.

In the money! Mumbles busts the short stack and I'm chip leader.

The 4th heineken magically appears. My mana is almost full.

Play somehow slows, I'm not sure how, but I bust the other short stack with A3 vs his 86.

I get heads up with Mumbles with a 3 to 1 chip lead. Play slows some more as I wait for Mumbles, who's name I find out later is Lynn (hahaha), to get bored and start over shoving with shit hands.

It takes about 12 minutes for him to call reraise me with J5. I call with AK and I'm a winner. Yes I am.

Ship the $740 to me. Just in time for the Binions 10pm.


Binions $75 10pm tournament.

I get over to binions at 10:05 to buy into the 10pm tourney but they changed the tourney schedule today. It starts at 11. Balls. Let's find the cash games.

I manage to lose 300 at 1/2 in about 30 min. Most of it to Jeremiah and his donkey ass.

I buy into the tournament with 7 minutes to spare so I hit the black jack table. And I win. Sweet. Buy in is paid for.

Table 32 seat 1

Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: quiet guy
Seat 3: a member of the raider nation. He's wearing a Gannon jersey so he's still living the past.
Seat 4: random white guy
Seat 5: mr long cornrow guy. Looks like he hasn't had then done in a couple of weeks. Too much downtown for this guy.
Seat 6: random over betting white guy
Seat 7: George mutherfucken Lucas
Seat 8: old guy that already busted
Seat 9: random African american. Is that the PC term?
Seat 10: random play everything white guy

I come storming out of the gate and lose every hand I play. I've lost 4000 in the first level.

Heineken #6 arrives.

Blinds go up to 100/200 and I got 1900 left. Shove or fold time.

I double through seat 9 with A4 vs KQ and pair my 4. Yeah boy!

Then the weirdest hand I've ever played happened. They gray haired lady, who I find out later is George Lucas' wife, and I accuse them of cheating later on, in seat 7 raises to 800 with blinds at 150/300. 6 peeps call including myself with 8h6h. The flop is 3 8 5. I bet 1200, seat 4 calls, seat 6 moves, I call.

Oops. The action is on the old lady in seat 7. She folds and we call for the floor for a ruling. My call stands and my chips go into the middle. Seat 6 shows a set of 3s. Oops. I need runner runner to win.

The turn is a 6. Okay we can work with that. The river is a 4. Fuck. Wait. Wait. WAIT! There's only two burn cards. The dealer didn't burn the turn.

I've never seen this before! So we call the real floor over. We count the muck up and it's an even number. It should be an odd number. She missed the turn burn.

The 6 should be a burn and the 4 is the turn. We see the river burn which is a jack and the real river is a 7. That gives me a straight. Holy moley! I dunno if that's the right call from the floor but I'll take it.

15k at break.

George Lucas kills me twice on the river after we get it all in on the turn and I'm way ahead. So poor.

Down to 2000 I double twice somehow as my 8th or 9th heineken shows up.

In the 800/1600 level I put the big blind all in from the small blind with Qc8c vs 9d3d. The board runs out spade spade spade spade 3. Fuuuuck.

I actually make the final table as the short stack and 5 pay. I think I can fold to the money.

On the first hand back from break the big blind is on the phone and his hand is mucked. I move in for 6k with Jd3d. Everyone folds. Sweet. I survive another orbit.

I bust in 8th against the guy that I hit the straight on when his 89 out flops my A5.

Onto the 2am tourney.

Binions $55 2am

I move to the 2 table tournament. I'm on table 21 seat 5. I get my stack up to 6000 pretty quickly but I lose it to a moron in seat 8. It's limped to me in the big blind and I have 66. I raise it to 1100 and moron moves in for 3600. I call and he shows 9T. Don't you worry. A 9 on the river gives him his hand. Moron.

A couple orbits later I get it all in with with QQ vs KK vs AQ. Fuuuuuck me in the eye hole. Oh wait! I hit the one outter on the river to triple up. Sweet. That my first one outter in a live tourney.

8k at break.

Final table! Again. I'm a machine!

I'm about average at this final table from a tournament of 19 people. This is my bread and butter.

I stopped taking notes at this point, probably due to heineken #10 or so.

Somehow I bust out of the tournament and Katkin and I hit up the blackjack table.

I buy in for a couple of hundo and before I know it I've ran through all my winnings. Katkin meekly tries to stop me but I say fuck it and order another heineken. Down to my last hundo when this guy just sits down at the table with us and just watches us play. This isn't going to end well.

I run my hundo back up to a sweet dime before we stand up. The non-playing starring guy follows us to the elevator at the back of Binions, which is the scariest elevator evar!

Oops we forgot to validate the parking ticket. Back to the cage to validate it a second time. We lose the tail.

Quick thinking on my part saves me from having to punch a fool's lights out. Realistically it probably saved me from getting stabbed and bleeding to death in Binions parking lot.

On the way, at the toll booth, some drunkard bumps his minivan into the back of Katkin's brand new BMW. I get out of the car to tell the fucker to back up and we start yelling at each other. He won't backup. It gets more heated.

I may get stabbed yet!

I can tell Katkin is kinda getting nervous and the lady in toll booth is starting to freak out. I flip the guy off and tell him to move his shitty minivan. Katkin finally says, "Let's just go."

The toll booth lady doesn't charge us and we head home as the sun starts to rise.

Good times.

JDN

PS Of course we had to stop at the Porchlight Bar and Grill for some vegi quesadillas and Heineken. And I killed the video blackjack even though it cheats.

I hate christmas..

but this is kinda funny. Staring yours truly, Jeremiah Smith, Layne Flack, Gavin Smith, and a monkey.

Happy Holidays from Poker WTF!

$300 Omahahaha Hi Lo (that joke is only funny once but I'll continue to beat it to death)

When playing Omaha you need to entertain yourself because its such a boring game. Thank god Monday night football is on.

So instead of recording anything before the first break, I'm going to tell a story from last nights cash game.

The random donks playing the 3/5 game, where cash does not play for some reason, start talking about the main event. A young lady at my table, who's boyfriend went deep, is talking about how she was on tv for a spilt second and how she has become a local celebrity because of it. Random Joe, two to my right, starts talking about how some donkey (ironic, I know) knocked out his friend deep in the main event. The aforementioned girl chimes in, "Was it Jeremiah Smith?"

I LOL 'd so hard I almost fell out of my seat.

Poor Jeremiah. He's like the Rodney Dangerfield of poker. No respect.

5k at break.

I got absolutely brutalized by the 4 of spades on the river in two consecutive hands. I'm kinda bitter about them so I'm not going to recount them here.

Guess I'll do a table draw...

Table 39 seat 1

Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: Jason something. I see him in vegas all the time and he always wears sports jerseys.
Seat 3: gorilla knuckles. I don't know what this guy does for a living but he uses his hands. He's got the most calused knucks I've ever see.
Seat 4: Clueless girl. She's having a hard time playing with 4 cards. She actually said "this is not like the Internet."
Seat 5: completely random white guy
Seat 6: completely random white guy #2
Seat 7: another random whitey
Seat 8: random with a handle bar mustache and some weird googley eyes
Seat 9: and... Another random white guy.

There's never any entertaining personalities in Omaha. Probably because half the field is near death. I'm going back to abberivations for descriptions.

In the 200/400 level I actually win a big hand. I hit the nut flush on the turn in a big 4 way pot. I pray for the board not to pair and it doesn't!!! Holy moley. And...! I get two calls on the river.

I turn over the hand with the Ah 6h 7h and gorilla knuckles shows 5h 8h 9h. The clueless girl shows broadway. That's alotta hearts. Then the dealer mucks my hand. Whoa there motherfucka! I fish my hand out of the muck and get my chips.

Back up to 6k. Starting chips!

Then I get fucked. Again. I got AJ36 on a board of 7 6 6 5 2. Don't worry. My hand is only good for a quarter of the pot.

1600 left in the 300/600 level.

Somehow I make it through the level with 2600. Now we take an hour dinner break. WTF? We just started 4 hours ago. Jeebus.

In the 400/800 level I'm down to 2000 when I see a flop with A36T. It falls 7 4 2 and I get it all in on the turn and called 4 ways. It holds, and I double to 4k. Woot.

I double again in a 4 way limped pot when I hit a straight flush and a wheel with the awesome starting hand if 2s 2h 4d 6d. 8100. Yeah boy!

I sleep through the 800/1600 level and somehow end up with 20Kish at break. Not sure how I got there. I also realize that I've only had 4 hours of sleep in the last 42 hours or so. And I've only eaten a del taco burrito and two tiger's milk bars in that time. This can't be good for me.

I refuse to eat the free food here or eat at the table, so I guess I'm going to starve for a while.

I get moved to table 40 seat 9.

I won't do a table draw but Grizzley Adams is in seat 2 and the Asian Chris Ferguson wearing Andy Bloch's hat is in seat 5.

I scooped a massive pot with 2s 4h Js Jh on a board of 7d 7c 3c Ac Jc. Seat 1 and Asian Chris Ferguson were all in during the 4 way pot. 34K. Snap!

I get moved to a new table and everyone here is rather dull. No new table draw! But there are a lot of chips on the table.

I'm too tired to write any hands down. I flopped two full houses twice and move to another table with about 40K. That's down from my high 49K when I has 2nd best flush and 2nd best low on a paired board with all three players with a flush in a massive 70K pot.

$44,500 at break. 24 players left. 18 pay. Which is stupid. 18th pays $365 for a profit of $35. 1st is 9K. And no ring for the winner. I quit.

We hit the money at 2:45am. Handlebar Mustache guy is the bubble dude. Haha. Clueless Chick is out too. Double haha. 18 players left and I think I'm in 3rd with $70,500. We start tomorrow at 2pm. Hopefully we can get done in time for me to play the HORSE at 4pm.

Sleepy time for JDN.

Nighty night.

$300 Venetian Deep Stack

Pretty sure last time I played a tourney here I won it. That was back in feb, it was an Omaha tourney, and Jeremiah Smith was almost killed by a falling ceiling tile at the mirage. Ahhh good times.

Table 43 seat 1

When I get to the table the dealer isn't dealing in the absent stacks. Whoa buddy. I tell him that he needs to deal them in and he tries to protest before I shut him down. Of course the rest of the table, who have let him do this for a couple of hands, chime in at this point and back me up. Whatta bunch of donks. He goes on to misdeal the 2nd hand of the tournament 3 times before getting it right.

I like this table.

Table draw!!!

Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: rwg
Seat 3: rwg
Seat 4: crazy old guy with a deep stack hat. Obv a fan of the Venetian
Seat 5: empty
Seat 6: young white guy that looks like Isaac Haxton on roids.
Seat 7: creepy older guy wearing no less than 15 necklaces, 10 bracletes, a dangley earring, lots of turquoise, and a "it's all good" hat. He also can't remember the blinds and basically shows everyone on his side of the table his cards when he looks at them.
Seat 8: young Asian kid wearing a hat, sunglasses and giant headphones. He has to pull his glasses down to look at his cards and pull his headphones back to hear the raises and calls. It's like playing with Hellen Keller.
Seat 9: empty
Seat 10: mr agressive. definaitely an Internet player.

A rpg sits down in seat 5 and seat 3 reveals himself to be a Canadian. Sly devil.

Seat 9 sneaks in and to everyone surprise, he's a random white guy with brown hair and glasses.

Not much happens in the first two levels. I win two decent pots and lose 1500 with JsJc on a Qd Td 9d flop. Somehow I see the river and call 1k bet from creepy turquoise guy. My read was right, he had 1 diamond but I forgot to factor in the turn and river. A 5 and another 5. He shows the 8d and 5s to take down the pot.

I think I have a recockulous tell on mr agressive. I need to see a couple more hands from him to validate my read.

Creepy turquoise guy doubles through the Canadian in probably one of the worst plays i've ever seen from two players. Needless to say turquoise guy check raises the flop with 2 pair and the Canadian calls with AJ. The turn is the Ac which puts 3 clubs on board and turquoise guy can't get his chips in fast enough. The Canadian calls and I'm quite confused. The 2 pair improve to a full house on the river after the Canadian asks for the board to pair. WTF?

I love my table.

We get a new seat 8 after the deaf, dumb, and blind Asian kid donates his chips to seat 9. I can't tell if seat 8 is a guy or a gal. The frame is def female but his/hers/it's voice is very male. It kinda looks like this lesbian chick I went to high school with. Weird.

12,275 at break. I was completely card dead for levels 2 and 3. But I don't need to push it. The game will come to me. I'm zen. Thanks to 3 very spicy bloodly marys.

Sometimes I get bored and decide to play hands that I shouldn't. Well, I think it would've worked against any other player accept mr agressive. I'm in the small blind and it folded to him on the button and he makes it 600. I had decided to reraise him with anything before the hand is even dealt.

So I looked down at T7 off and reraise him to 1700. He calls pretty quickly and I bet out 2500 on a flop of A 3 J. He calls. Crap. What are the chances he's got an ace? I mean really? The turn is an 8. I got outs. Snap. I bet 3500. He calls. Fucker.

This is the first hand I have played in two levels. Does he think I'm joking? (even though I am). I'm begging for a 9 on the river but it's a jack. Damn. I actually think about pushing my last 6k in. He should be good enough to lay his A6 or whatever down if I shove. Then there's always the off chance he's got a jack.

I'm done with this hand. Hopefully he bets so I don't have to show my embrassassing hand. He checks and shows A9. Thank you kind sir. I muck and pick up some more information on this goofball.

I steam call the next hand with Th 7h. I win the 3 way pot with a board of 8s 7s 3s 3d Ah. Back up to 9K.

The crazy turquoise guy is telling the table about the time he died in a motorcycle accident.

Isaac Haxton on roids just busted creepy turquoise guy with a two-outter on the river. I giggled.

I'm a rollercoaster. At my lowest I was a 4k. Then I worked it up to 25k. Now I'm at 5500.

I lost 40k pot towards the end of the level. Mr agressive raises to 1800 with blinds at 300/600. I call with jacks expecting to be playing the goofball heads up but the guy on the button decides to be a pain and calls. The flop is 3s 8s 9c. I bet out 2500 after the goofball checks and the but just calls. Flush draw? Prob. The turn is a Th. I bet 6K and the diggleberry on the button moves in. I don't give it much thought because I have an open ender now too. So I snap call. He shows T9. Ok I need a 7, Q, or a jack. Thats a lot of outs. Right?

The river is the 7s. Snap ship it. I look back at his hand to double check and low and behold he's got the Ts 9s. Damn it all to hell! Fuck shit!

This knocks me down to 6100.

I fold to the break and go into the 400/800 75 ante level with 5500. I'm under the gun when I get back. Gonna be sticking it in with just about any playable hand.

First hand back I look at Js Ts and let it rip. Its folded around to the goofball who quickly calls with a pair of 8's. With an 8 on the flop I'm drawing thin. The turn and river blank out and I bounce out the front door.

This is getting really brutal. Last I counted I have two cashes since starting this blog. One was a win, which is nice, and the other was in the BARGE main event which is like cashing... well, cashing the BARGE main event. LA Mike on the other hand is 1 for 1 and making me look bad.

To be fair I am playing some tournaments right. I've satellited into all of the big tournaments, even the WSOPE main event. It just doesn't seem like I'm getting any result other fail and sat wins and that is something that needs to change. Next week I'll heading to beautiful Lake Tahoe to play the WSOPC prelims. I'm really going to change my game for these events and just start firing. This playing tight BS is really getting on my damn nerves.

Hopefully we'll get some more post from the LA Mike soon. He can bring some hope to this depressing recount of my poker failings that pokerwtf has become.

JDN