Dream Team Poker

The night before the tournament I, Jeremiah "That Donkey" Smith and the GF, attend some sort of party in the poker room at Caesars. It wasn't easy to get a drink and it was harder to get our jerseys!

Even though it was on the wall, we couldn't get it.



I guess we have to buy in. ok ok.

While standing in line with Miah, we're discussing the latest issue of Invincible when Zee Justin and Jimmy Fricke walk up. This should be good. Miah says "hi" to both before Jimmy throws out a hand to me. I shake it, then say, "Do you know who I am?" He says no. Sweet. I tell him I'm the guy that forwarded the email from Howard to you.

Awkward silence.

He says, "Sorry."

I laugh it off and continue with the talk with Miah about Invincible. Issue #60 was awesome.

After buying in we get our jerseys.

Oh yeah, our 3rd is non other than Scott Fischman. And we're Team Zurvive. Don't ask about the name.

The peeps from Dream Team sent me this email about a week before and here's my response:

1) Why you think you have the best team?

We don't have anywhere near the best team. Our best chance to win is to move in on any two cards that make a flush or straight. This technique is also know as the Jeremiah "That Donkey" Smith system.

2) How you came up with your team name?

Truthfully? Spellcheck on the computer broke.

3) How you decided on who was going to be on your team?

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear there're prissy, wine all that
Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
I don't think sow
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

Jeremiah's response to #3 was classic:

#3) Most teams are trying to put together a team of mixed playing styles, but we took that one step further. We are fielding a has-been, a wannabe, and a never-was.

I'm not sure who I am but I would put money on the wannabe.

Day 1

We're starting no earlier than 12:45. It's takes 30 minutes to get people in their seats and just when we think we're going to see some cards, we get some special announcements. One by the founder of Dream Team Poker, one by the mayor of Beverly Hills (WTF), and one by a congress woman who's name I can't remember. Shelly something. Regardless it was a brutal 45 minutes waiting for this thing to start.

In the first orbit I lose 3K with 44 vs seat 5 when he fires 2 bullets with AK and catches the ace on the river. Blargh.

An orbit later I raise with AA in early position and everyone folds. So it's just gonna be one of those days.

My right eye is killing me. I feels like someone rubbed a chipolte in my eye. I'm slowly turning into Popeye here.

In the 50/100 level it's mistakenly minraised by seat 5 and I call the extra 100 with K2. The flop falls 8s Kd Qs. Sweet, time for a check raise. It's checked around. Bah! I bet $350 on the turn when a jack falls.

Seat 5 calls and I bet 625 on the river. Its an 8. Seat 5 thinks about it for a few seconds before he raises to 3600. Damn it! He makes a funny face and winks at me. Full house or quads? I fold. Down to 5500.

Table 36 seat 1

Table draw:

Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: rwg can't remember his name but he's on team Drity Sanchez.
Seat 3: rwg with a Jew-fro. And no, it's not Alex Jacob.
Seat 4: rowg that I've played with before. He's a got a bad mustache too.
Seat 5: rwg. Way too old to be wearing a basketball jersey. But to his credit he's wearing a sweat shirt under it.
Seat 6: Steve Sung. He left in the 2nd level to go play a blackjack tournament at the bellagio
Seat 7: rwg. Some girl on his team walked up to talk to him and she wasn't wearing a bra under her jersey. I know exactly what her breasts look like. All I can think about is a motorboat.
Seat 8: rag
Seat 9: rwg
Seat 10: rag. Minor SAG.

9950 at break. Jeremiah has 15k and Scott has 12k.

Joe Sebok tucks his jersey in. I LOL'd.

Steve Sung just came back but he has to go back to the bellagio at 4 for more BJ.

Jeremiah just got congratulated over the pa for going deep in the main event. I'm def the never-was.

Level up! 200/400 with a 50 ante. Gamble gamble. I got 10k.

Steve Sung can make his BJ tournament. He's busto.

Seat 5 stares at my chips every time he raises. So now I call him on it every hand. I'm trying to tilt him and it seems to be working. He lost two raise hands in a row. Haha fucker!

With blinds at 200/400 I raise to 1100 in middle/early position with KcQc. The rag in seat 8 calls from the big blind. The flop is 2 5 6. Check check. The turn is a K. He bets out 1400 and I call. The river is a 4 and he checks. I must be good. I bet 2000 and he calls.

I show my KQ and he flips over what I think is KQ. On my second take I see that it's KK. WTF?! That's right I gotta hit the 1 outter to lose any money. But he plays it so bad I get away cheap.

Down to 5500 I get it all in with AK vs the 99 of seat 10. Ace on the flop and I'm up to 10K. Again. Starting stack.

A few orbits later seat 3 raises under the gun to 1200. Seat 7 flat calls and I move in with KT on the button. I know seat 3 reads this as a squeeze and moves in. I'm racing. Then seat 7 calls all his chips off, seat 3 has him covered.

Seat 3 shows 66 and seat 7 shows JJ. After a T on the flop I blank out and head to the Mermaid Maid Bar to kick it with Scott Huff, his GF, and Amanda Leatherman. None of them make me fell better about the way I played, so I have a few more Hieneken's before hitting up the roulette table.

Fuck this team shit!

Jeremiah busts a few hands after me and Scott actually makes it to the bubble before busting with KK vs QQ.

Aiyeah!

JDN
(I'm not spell checking this BS before I post it. Deal with it!)

The Montel

Montel Williams, yes that Montel Williams, from time to time will host $1K SNGs at the Nugget. They're called "The Montel." Really. There's a poster and everything posted outside the poker room. The poker room floors stand outside the room trying to get people to play Montel. "You know who Montel Williams is? He's here. Wanna play poker with him? Yes that Montel Williams."

I met Scott Fischman at noon for the first one of the day. We had 9 players, you start with 10K in chips with 30 min levels 1st and 2nd place pay. Not to shabby for a SNG at the Nugget.

It didn't take long for me to get into an interesting hand with Mr. Williams, with the blinds at 50/100 he limped under the gun. It was called by 3 other players, including myself with the big bad AT off, until the button, a younger kid who we later found out bought in with his whole bank roll, raised to 350. Everyone called. This is gonna be a good table. The flop came down A 2 T. Ding! Montel bet out 400, the music mogul, not really one but but he looked and talked like one, to my right called and I reraised to 1100. Montel announces raise and throws a few more $1000 chips into the pot. Huh? The mogul folds and I have to contemplate this a for a moment. I guess he could have Aces. But from what Scott told me about him he's fairly aggressive so I figure he's gonna raise under the gun with either AA,TT, AK, or AQ. He could have 22 easily or even the same hand as me. Wow. I put him on 22. I tell him that I go broke on this hand 99% of the time and I fold my hand face up.

WTF? Was pretty much the whole reaction of the table. Including Montel who's brows furrowed just the slightest before he asked if I want to see his hand. He flipped up his 22 before I had a chance to respond. Game on!

The rest of the table said that they would have all gone busto if they were me in that hand. That Montel was a very loose aggressive player. Everything he did just told me that he had a set. It all added up. I was also able to make the lay down because I still had 8500 in chips behind me. Good structure and starting chips begets good play from JDN. Too bad I didn't win.

I busted in 4th after being card dead for the remainder of my time at that SNG. Then next one will start around 4pm so I have some time to kill. Video poker! Heineken!


I made a big call in the second SNG to bust Montel. I had raised in late position with A4 off and was reraised by Mr Chilliams in the big blind. The flop rolled out A 6 J and Montel pushed in. I thought about it again for a minute. He seemed bored. Ready to double up or bust. So I called. He turn over a KQ and my A4 held up to bust his shizzle. Scott Fischman and I got 3 handed with the asian girl, we wondered if she was John Phan's sister because she definitely had the symptoms of SAG, who had satellited in the previous night. I figured there was no way one of us wasn't winning that one. Don't you worry. I got 3rd and Scott cashed 2nd. Rigged.

After being joined by Gavin, Bobo, and Jeremiah, we played a few more. Jeremiah and I chopped the one where we let Gavin rebuy and between SNG's Gavin and I played $25 a point Chinese poker. Royalty on the first hand! TYVM! I also joined Bobo at the 2/5 table for one hand where I got $300 in the pot with a 5 high flush draw to random asian guys queens. No love for me.

I had one interesting in the final SNG took place between myself and Jeremiah. I was about a 7 on the Heineken Factor* scale. Jeremiah was near an 8 on the bad play scale. In late position Heremiah raised a standard 3x raise. (Blinds and chips stacks are irrelevant when you're past 5 on the Heineken Scale. As is playing in turn, betting/calling/raising the right amount, and staying in your chair.) Knowing that Heremiah's game is full of shit, I reraise him with the 'ole 52 off. He thinks a moment before pushing all in. Well I have to call now. I think its possible that I'm priced in but math is something I'm not capable of at the moment. I call. He flips over 6T off. I told him, "I knew you had shit! Thats second level thinking!" I got two live cards! Too bad he hits a 6 on the flop. I could have been drawing live but the turn and river were blurry. He took most of my chips and I was left with 1 yellow, 1 pink and 3 grays.

Gavin's reaction was, "That's two level of suck."
Scott said, "You two are horrible."
Random hot girl on the rail, "Idiots."

I played 5 SNG's and broke even, except for losing $300 at 2/5 and $100 at video poker. I got some free food, met Montel, busted Montel, and made my friend Jeremiah look like a fool. Good times.

JDN

* The Heineken Factor: This scale is based on the number of Heinekens consumed, multiplied by 2.5 divided by the number of brain cells left. Really. No not really. Basically it's math/poker comprehension scale based on the total number of Heineken's orally consumed. 1 point of the scale roughly translates to 2.5 bottles of Heineken.