The Savage Invitational Golf Tournament

This is pretty much going to be a photo essay. Not to mention this happened about two weeks ago and I'm too lazy to write this up in a timely fashion.

For road trips I need fuel. Chipotle seems to do the trick and the burritos fit perfectly in the cup holders.



The night before the first round we meet at the Eureka Casino to get our tee times and gift bags.

George Karl is a little red and Matt Savage is very happy to hand out gifts.

Savage decided to be patriotic with the grab bags

After dinner Gracz, Katkin and I jump into a 2/8 spread limit game and Gracz announces that he is the world's greatest 2/8 player.

As Joe Tehan joins the game, Gracz asks if anyone will go skinny dipping with him at the hotel pool. The table is suspiciously silent.

I bust out of the game when I flop trip 6s vs a full house. Tehan folds the gut shot straight flush draw after the guy with the full house tells him he has a full house. The straight flush gets there. I hope Tehan is better at golf than poker.

Day 1

Hole 1

Oh boy. This is gonna be a long day.

I get bets down with Katkin, Gracz, Melissa Hayden, and Matt Savage. I'm playing them all straight up, $25 on the front 9, $25 on the back 9, $25 on the overall, and $5 a putt.

It's about 105 out too. Starting to sweat already.

Our group consists of Joe Tehan, Paul Taylor, Jon Katkin, and myself. I'm probably the worst golfer among us.

Hole 4:



On the 4th I hit my 4 hybrid over the mountain range and land a few feet off the green. My chip hits the pin and I birdie the hole with a 4 foot put. Sometimes I play good.

Front 9 totals:
Katkin - 52
JDN - 48

Hole 13:

This is my tee shot on 13. That's how I roll.

I shoot a 9 on 13. Did I mention we're hitting from the red tees today? Only 4000 yards and I struggling to break 100. So poor.

Day 1 totals:
Katkin - 100
JDN - 98

Back at the club house I find out that Savage beat me by 18 strokes, Gracz shot the lights out on the front 9 and destroyed me on the overall, and Hayden beat me in putts. Maybe I should quit golf, but I did win a $90 skin for my birdie on 4. I think that was split 3 ways. That damn chip should have been in the damn cup.

We play a bounty poker tournament that night and I make the final table along with Paul Taylor and Melissa Hayden. I finish 7th and collect nothing for my efforts save one bounty.

Day 2

I get bets down with Katkin and Gracz. Same bets and we're playing the blues today. It's 6500 yards from the blues. I'm going to be sore tonight.

In today's group its me and Katkin with a couple of old ladies named Matt and Andy. Matt won this tournament last year as a 14 handicap.

I've had to hit this shot on hole 1 two days in a row, blind shot to the pin, over the mountain. Who chose this course?

6th Hole

Front 9 scores:
Katkin - 57
JDN - 59

We are so bad.

Hole 11:



Hole 11 is a par 3 and it drops down about 200 feet from the tee. I step up with a 6 iron and hit my shot. Looks good. It drops about 20 yards to the right of the green, takes a great bounce and rolls onto the green. Sweet! Then it keeps rolling. Rolling to about 6 feet in front of the pin. That's closest to the pin! Yeah boy!

Katkin's tee shot lands 3 feet in front of the green on the fringe. Then he chips it in with his fake "chipper" club for a birdie. I miss my 6 footer and my chance for a skin. Damn it!

Katkin is a cheater.

12th hole

17th hole. I hate this hole and it knows it. I almost get hit in the back of the head with a ball from a tee shot from 16. Fuck this hole. Not to mention the lowest score I get on it in 3 days is a 9.

Day 2 totals:
Katkin - 122
JDN - 117

That is so bad. So so bad. We should quit.

I hit up the casino bar to watch hockey and play video poker.

ship it!

The Pens win and I in turn, win $50 from Gracz who loves the Hurricanes. There should be no hockey in the Carolinas. Its just wrong.

Day 3

On day 3 I get stuck with Matt Savage, Mike Gracz, and Paul Taylor. This should be a train wreck. I wish Joy Miller was here to be my caddie. Someone would def go to the hospital.

The bets get down and we're off. Me and Savage vs Paul and Gracz, straight up. I take no part of that bet because, well because, I suck and Gracz sucks just a little bit less than me.

On 6 I grab a Heineken before I tee off. It seems to work as I absolutely crush my shot. It clears the creek and ends up about 75 yards from the pin. That's a 330 yard drive. Thank you very much. Too bad I hit the second shot fat and end up with a bogey on the hole.

Hole 7

Gracz leeves his 2nd shot short and we all watch him stand on the edge of a painful death to make his shot.

fall motherfucker fall!

Hole 8

Savage puts his tee shot in the front of the par 3 green and into the creek. Paul and I put ours in the creek too but opt to chip up from the drop zone.

Savage scours the creek for his ball and soon the shoes come off.

His first shot goes no where, but the second gets out of the water and showers Matt in mud.

It takes us at least 20 minutes to play this hole. Thank you Savage for not dropping and making us stand in the sun for 15 minutes that we didn't need too.

I'm playing so bad.


Front 9 totals:
Grazc - 49
JDN - 52
Paul - 40
Savage - 47

On hole 14, Gracz announces that his alter ego, the Hulk is back. He doesn't break a club but he comes close after blowing up on a couple of holes in a row. I like this version of Mr Gracz.

Hole 14. An amazing hole, that amazingly, I played well all three days.

I shoot a 10 on 17 again. I hate that hole.

On 18 Paul 3 puts and gives Matt and I the win. Yay! Too bad I didn't have any action on it.

Day 3 overall:
Gracz - 100
JDN - 113
Paul - 83
Savage - 89

I don't know how we won but Savage said we did so I'll believe him. I remind myself not believe him the next time we play heads up. You gotta keep an eye on him at all times.

I bounce out pretty quickly to get back to Vegas and the opening of Santana at the Hard Rock. Had fun but its too damn hot in Mesquite in June to play 3 days of golf. Specially since I suck so bad.

WSOP coming up!

JDN

Poker on Fremont

January is gonna be pretty slow for me since I couldn't sat into the Aussie Millions or the PCA. Time to go downtown. Its the weekend after new years so there will be alot of people in town to fill up the cheap tournaments.

So Jeremiah, katkin and I make it downtown in time for the 7pm $65 tournament at the Golden Nugget. We start with 2000 in chips and with a $40 rebuy we can get another 3000.

I order heineken #1 and take my seat at table 6 seat 9.

Table draw:
Seat 1: old guy that looks like Kyle Gass from tenacious d
Seat 2: empty
Seat 3: old balding guy with a Hawaiian shirt on. Isn't it a bit cold for that?
Seat 4: another older guy worrying about whether or not he can afford the rebuy.
Seat 5: really old guy playing way too tight for a $65 tournament.
Seat 6: empty
Seat 7: Jeremiah smith
Seat 8: crazy old guy that mumbles to himself. Then again, he maybe talking to me.
Seat 9: jdn
Seat 10: younger guy that left the tournament for 10 mins to go to the ATM to get his rebuy.

I get it all in on the 4th hand of the tournament with 7d5d vs Mumbles' A8 vs Miah's 65 off. Needless to say,I end up playing the board and am left with 500. Miah rebuys and Mumbles takes the pot.

I get it in again the very next hand with A7 vs Mumbles' KK. This guy is on fire! Rebuy!

No long afterward Jeremiah busts with 27 vs Mumbles' A2. He's unstoppable folks.

Katkin is at the other table, there's only two tables, and he's treading water at the "tight" table.

Mumbles finally loses all his chips in a race and he has to rebuy. He's mortal after all.

Where the he'll is that cocktail waitress? I'm parched over here.

Jeremiah texted me from Binions. Apparently they swapped the 6pm and the 8pm tournies. So the 8pm is a $55 instead. Weak sauce.

I actually make the break with 3800. Katkin busted on the last hand before break so we book it over to Binions to check it out.

When we get over there I make eye contact with Amir Vahedi. He's playing the 6pm. Wow when times are tough, times are tough. As katkin buys in I say hi to amir and he tells me he's a little embarrassed that he's playing at Binions.

Don't worry about it buddy. I'm playing at the Nugget. In a $65 tournament. Two weeks ago I was playing the $15k at the bellagio. So poor.

In the restroom I see a guy getting his reeboks polished. That's baller.

Four hands after break we get down to 10 players and the final table. Sweet! And I'm not the shortest at the table. Of course I get the big blind with blinds at 200/400.

Heineken #2 finally shows up.

In the small blind, the button raises to 1500 and I push in for 3400. Big blind folds and the button calls. I show 66 and he shows AhJh. The board runs out 6 8 J J 5. Hahaha. Ship it! I double to 7200.

Two hands later I get it all in on a flop of 2c 8c 2s with AcQc vs Crazy Ivan's 99. A Queen on the turn seals the deal but a club hit the river to rub it in. 15,000.

8 players left and 3 places pay.

We get down to 7 when Mumbles gets all in with bottom pair vs kings and hit his 2 pair on the river. This guy is amazing.

We color up the 100 chips and I got 17,500. Cocktail waitress is no where to be seen.

I just realized that seat 7 is missing the end of his middle finger on his left hand. Missing digits at the poker table is a bad sign and nothing ever good comes of it.

The missing finger guy recongizes Jeremiah, from what I assume was his donk fest in this years main event. I yell over to Miah, who's busted out of binions and now playing cash at the next table, that he just got recongized for being on TV. The dealer says, "Ohhh yeah. I saw him on the WSOP."

I make everyone that can hear me knows that the donkey from the WSOP is playing 1/2.

I take another 7k off Mumbles to get up 24,000.

Still no heineken.

After busting a short stack I get up to 31,000. We're down to 5.

Missing says that he played softball with Jeremiah. That takes the wind outta sails but I still LOL'd.

I bust Crazy Ivan with T2. That's Doyle's hand! On the money bubble! I'm a pretty big chip leader. I got more than half the chips in play.

40k on break.

In the money! Mumbles busts the short stack and I'm chip leader.

The 4th heineken magically appears. My mana is almost full.

Play somehow slows, I'm not sure how, but I bust the other short stack with A3 vs his 86.

I get heads up with Mumbles with a 3 to 1 chip lead. Play slows some more as I wait for Mumbles, who's name I find out later is Lynn (hahaha), to get bored and start over shoving with shit hands.

It takes about 12 minutes for him to call reraise me with J5. I call with AK and I'm a winner. Yes I am.

Ship the $740 to me. Just in time for the Binions 10pm.


Binions $75 10pm tournament.

I get over to binions at 10:05 to buy into the 10pm tourney but they changed the tourney schedule today. It starts at 11. Balls. Let's find the cash games.

I manage to lose 300 at 1/2 in about 30 min. Most of it to Jeremiah and his donkey ass.

I buy into the tournament with 7 minutes to spare so I hit the black jack table. And I win. Sweet. Buy in is paid for.

Table 32 seat 1

Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: quiet guy
Seat 3: a member of the raider nation. He's wearing a Gannon jersey so he's still living the past.
Seat 4: random white guy
Seat 5: mr long cornrow guy. Looks like he hasn't had then done in a couple of weeks. Too much downtown for this guy.
Seat 6: random over betting white guy
Seat 7: George mutherfucken Lucas
Seat 8: old guy that already busted
Seat 9: random African american. Is that the PC term?
Seat 10: random play everything white guy

I come storming out of the gate and lose every hand I play. I've lost 4000 in the first level.

Heineken #6 arrives.

Blinds go up to 100/200 and I got 1900 left. Shove or fold time.

I double through seat 9 with A4 vs KQ and pair my 4. Yeah boy!

Then the weirdest hand I've ever played happened. They gray haired lady, who I find out later is George Lucas' wife, and I accuse them of cheating later on, in seat 7 raises to 800 with blinds at 150/300. 6 peeps call including myself with 8h6h. The flop is 3 8 5. I bet 1200, seat 4 calls, seat 6 moves, I call.

Oops. The action is on the old lady in seat 7. She folds and we call for the floor for a ruling. My call stands and my chips go into the middle. Seat 6 shows a set of 3s. Oops. I need runner runner to win.

The turn is a 6. Okay we can work with that. The river is a 4. Fuck. Wait. Wait. WAIT! There's only two burn cards. The dealer didn't burn the turn.

I've never seen this before! So we call the real floor over. We count the muck up and it's an even number. It should be an odd number. She missed the turn burn.

The 6 should be a burn and the 4 is the turn. We see the river burn which is a jack and the real river is a 7. That gives me a straight. Holy moley! I dunno if that's the right call from the floor but I'll take it.

15k at break.

George Lucas kills me twice on the river after we get it all in on the turn and I'm way ahead. So poor.

Down to 2000 I double twice somehow as my 8th or 9th heineken shows up.

In the 800/1600 level I put the big blind all in from the small blind with Qc8c vs 9d3d. The board runs out spade spade spade spade 3. Fuuuuck.

I actually make the final table as the short stack and 5 pay. I think I can fold to the money.

On the first hand back from break the big blind is on the phone and his hand is mucked. I move in for 6k with Jd3d. Everyone folds. Sweet. I survive another orbit.

I bust in 8th against the guy that I hit the straight on when his 89 out flops my A5.

Onto the 2am tourney.

Binions $55 2am

I move to the 2 table tournament. I'm on table 21 seat 5. I get my stack up to 6000 pretty quickly but I lose it to a moron in seat 8. It's limped to me in the big blind and I have 66. I raise it to 1100 and moron moves in for 3600. I call and he shows 9T. Don't you worry. A 9 on the river gives him his hand. Moron.

A couple orbits later I get it all in with with QQ vs KK vs AQ. Fuuuuuck me in the eye hole. Oh wait! I hit the one outter on the river to triple up. Sweet. That my first one outter in a live tourney.

8k at break.

Final table! Again. I'm a machine!

I'm about average at this final table from a tournament of 19 people. This is my bread and butter.

I stopped taking notes at this point, probably due to heineken #10 or so.

Somehow I bust out of the tournament and Katkin and I hit up the blackjack table.

I buy in for a couple of hundo and before I know it I've ran through all my winnings. Katkin meekly tries to stop me but I say fuck it and order another heineken. Down to my last hundo when this guy just sits down at the table with us and just watches us play. This isn't going to end well.

I run my hundo back up to a sweet dime before we stand up. The non-playing starring guy follows us to the elevator at the back of Binions, which is the scariest elevator evar!

Oops we forgot to validate the parking ticket. Back to the cage to validate it a second time. We lose the tail.

Quick thinking on my part saves me from having to punch a fool's lights out. Realistically it probably saved me from getting stabbed and bleeding to death in Binions parking lot.

On the way, at the toll booth, some drunkard bumps his minivan into the back of Katkin's brand new BMW. I get out of the car to tell the fucker to back up and we start yelling at each other. He won't backup. It gets more heated.

I may get stabbed yet!

I can tell Katkin is kinda getting nervous and the lady in toll booth is starting to freak out. I flip the guy off and tell him to move his shitty minivan. Katkin finally says, "Let's just go."

The toll booth lady doesn't charge us and we head home as the sun starts to rise.

Good times.

JDN

PS Of course we had to stop at the Porchlight Bar and Grill for some vegi quesadillas and Heineken. And I killed the video blackjack even though it cheats.