Caesars Classic $1000 heads up

I've never played a live heads up tourney before but I'm master of the $13.75 heads up token sngs on FTP.

On the drive in I was behind Cantu's car and his personalized license plate read CMYAGNT. That made me giggle. And when I remembered that his agent is Matt Palmer, I giggled some more.

The tournament started late as they waited for it fill up. Of course I had to take a last longer with Gsmith.

They were playing two matches per table and John Phan was in the other match at my table. It didn't take long for John to call for cocktails and order me a Bloody Mary.

My opponent introduced himself as Sam. He kinds looked Eric Mizrachi and he wore an ensemble of Ed Hardy gear. Lots of bedazzling going on.

The first big hand we got involved in came just 3 hands in. I held T6 in the big blind and he limped in. The flop came 4 T 8. He check raised my bet of 300 to 700. I called. The turn was a 7 and he bet out 800. I call. The river is another 8. He bets out 1250. Fucker. I call. He shows 89. Bahhhhh.

During the next few hands he mentions something about Chino (David Rheem) so I ask him if he's from Florida. He says "originally". I fucking knew it! He's one of those guys!

So I call him down in a couple hands with middle pair and lose most of my chips. He also proceeds to fold preflop to all my pairs. 6 of them to be exact. Queens, jacks, nines, eights, sevens, sixes and jacks again.

Ok well... It's taken me most of my stack to figure out that he does not play like those cats from Florida. He's much tighter but that early hand really threw me off.

He gets me down to 2500 before he moves all in from the small blind. I look down at AQ. I call and he shows A8. I double to 5k. Coolio. Back in it.

A few hands later in look down at AK in the small blind and raise to 1200. He moves all in and I call with 4600 left. He shows A8 again and I double to over 9k.

With the blinds at 200/400 I make it 1200 to go from the small blind. Or so I think. Sam looks at the dealer and says "What's that?"

There's only 700 there. I threw out a 500 chip instead of a 1000. So I have to complete to 800. Shit. Blew that one.

Sam moves all in. Ok weird. Seems like he's protecting his hand. I tell him I was trying to raise to 1200.

I read him for a big ace or a medium to small pair. It still seems weird that he would push if he had a weaker hand. He's got to have something. Right? Bollocks. I fold my deuces face up.

He shows an ace. Damn! He did have a weak ace. Still in don't know if I should have stuck it in. Two overs is still a race.

A couple of hands later he slow plays jacks and on a nine high flop and I lose some more chips. The blinds to up to 300/600 and I have 4600.

I ship it on three staight small blinds. I have AT, J9 and Jc9c. He folds a red king on the first two hands and finally calls with K8 on the third hand. The flop is Q high and the turn brings a T. So I can win with a 8, 9, J, or a K. River is an ace and I'm done.

ballsack.

JDN

Caesars Classic $500 Omahahahaha Hi Lo

The last time I played an Omaha tournament was at the world series and I'm pretty sure I was the first person out. I wish I could say that the reason i played so bad was because I was odrunk or high but it really came down retardation.

I hope to correct the flaw in my Omaha game today. The problem, today at least is that I am high. I woke up this morning with a faucet for a nose and I was forced to take some allergy meds.

The secret phrase for today is, "Play tight motherfucker!"

Table 58 seat 8

Table draw:

Seat 1: a cowboy
Seat 2: random Asian guy
Seat 3: my accountant, I shit you not. His name is James something
Seat 4: rowg
Seat 5: rowg
Seat 6: empty
Seat 7: rowg
Seat 8: jdn
Seat 9: rowg

All the interesting people seem to be at the other end of the table.

Seat 7 is pretty horrid. He's playing any 4 cards and slow playing his made hands while betting the draws

The older guys in seats 4 and 5 couldn't wait 50 minutes to the break and had to leave to table to take a wizz. I would bet, that with the average age of this tournament at somewhere near 55, that we're going to be seeing a lot of potty breaks. It's like a faux seniors event.

Oh sweet Jesus! Allen "The Chainsaw" Kessler just sat down in seat 7. Here comes the bad beat story.

It takes all of 3 minutes for Allen to tell everyone how he busted out of the Bellagio, QQ vs AA, big deal. Then he goes on a tirade about the structure of the tourney. He walks around to each table looking for someone that he knows so that he can complain to them.

He tells Barry Schulman that he should write about it on Cardplayer.

The dealer is telling seat 7 about how his marriage fell apart after his son died in a motorcycle accident. Aiyeah! As if Omaha wasn't depressing enough Mr. "penis vein in nose" dealer man.

Made the break!! Yes! And I made 100. 5100 at break. Next level is 200/400. Holy shit. Allen was right. This does suck.

I haven't been writing any hands down cause... frankley it's damn boring.

So I lose 1100 in the first hand back from break with AAKQ. See? Boring.

My accountant is out to get me. He reraises my KK95 with AQ47 and flops an ace and the nut flush draw. I'm thinking of looking for a new accountant.

Get knocked down to 1400 when I flop a wrap on a Q 4 5 board with A346 against the Asian and my accountant. I make a low on the river but it's second best. Def looking for a new accountant. And probably a new Asian too.

The Chainsaw just called Jack Effel to complain about the structure.

I double up to 2k with 245J vs AQT9 on a A 4 T 2 4 board. Yeah boy! I got 2k. Which is kinda sad when you think about it.

I actually bluff with A466 on a 9 7 8 Q K board with my tournament life on the line, and win! Up to 4600.

My accountant busted, his job is safe, and he's replaced by a guy by 3 times his size. He looks like a garage pail kid wearing headphones. Leaky Liz? Atom Bomb? Flabby Abby? That's all I got.

I'm a rollercoaster. At my lowest I was at 1400. At my peak 6k. Then I had to double up the chainsaw when I flopped 2 pair vs his flush draw.

3100 at 2nd break. Next level is 600/1200. Fuck balls.

Yeah that didn't last long. I got it all in with two pair against a gut shot and he gets there. So poor.

Hey look! The 7pm tournament is starting! Let's get it on!

Caesars 7pm $200

Yeah well, might as well play it.

The first person I recognize at my table is the skinny white hat guy. AKA douche bag. And he's eating again. Pretty sure he only gets food at the poker table.

Table 11 seat 1

Table draw!

Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: heavily tattoo'd german chick. Interesting...
Seat 3: rowg
Seat 4: rywg
Seat 5: skinny white hat guy (douche bag)
Seat 6: rywg
Seat 7: rowg
Seat 8: rowg
Seat 9: empty

Heh. Well I double the white hat douche bag with 99 vs TT. He folded the best hand the hand before so I thought he would he on minor tilt which he was but I was just a step behind.

And now I'm out. 4 5 6 flop with A6 vs 99. GG.

Cocktails!

JDN

Caesars classic $500 (not a repost)

This tournament is a great one to play because it's on Sunday and you don't have to deal with all the Internet nerds and their check raising asses. So far my table is full of older middle aged men.

I was hoping they'd get 500 today but I forgot about the football effect. Looks to be around 400.

I swear I just saw Hurley from Lost walking around.

Table 61 seat 8

Table draw!

Seat 1: rwg
Seat 2: rwg
Seat 3: rwg who has no concept of pot size or blinds
Seat 4: the French terminator. Looks French but talks like a SoCal skater. With the beavis and butthead laugh to boot!
Seat 5: rwg, a Ginger. Keep away!
Seat 6: empty
Seat 7: random younger Asian guy
Seat 8: jdn
Seat 9: not sure what happend with seat 9. They picked up the stack but I guess they can still put someone in it. So it's deemed undecided.
Seat 10: aggro rwg (oops he's out)

Hey there's cowboy Kenna James. Last time I saw him he had underwear on his head.

5575 at the end of the first level. I actually hit a set for the first time 20 hours of play. Yay!

The ginger raises to 300 and I can with 99. Four of us see the flop and we all check to the river on a board of A A T Q 9. The slow guy in seat 2 bets out 1k and it's folded to me. Hmmm. Do I shove or call?

I know he's "challenged" so I min raise to 2k and he opens his hand. Good read on my part. Eventually he calls and shows QJ. Ship it.

Two hands later I look down at AJ and I merely call behind a limper. A new strategy for me. Two others call, including the slow guy and the flop falls A J J. Check around! I'm not sure how I'm going to get anything else outta this hand. The turn is a J. Definitely not getting any more chips out of this hand, until... the slow bets 300. He's got a jack folks. I call as everyone else folds. The river it is a blank and short bus guy actually checks to me. I ponder for a moment and wonder how much he will call. I bet 550 and he calls. Snap! He's got J3.

Table break!

Table 47 seat 10

Table redraw!
Seat 1: random old lady
Seat 2: old dude with a creepy hulk hogan handlebar mustache
Seat 3: rwg
Seat 4: rwg
Seat 5: rwg, a chubby
Seat 6: rwg, a cowboy
Seat 7: rywg
Seat 8: rwg
Seat 9: skinny white hat guy who I always see playing sats and begging for money next to Eskimo.
Seat 10: jdn

Well, level 2 was a rollercoaster. Up to 9k then down to 4k. Think I'm at 6k now. At least I made the break.

Level turned into a horrible version of level two. Up and down, up and down. The I get 3500 all in on the flop of Jd Tc 5c with KQ against the old lady's JT and the Cowboys Ac 5c. Somehow I don't get there and the old lady's two pair holds up. WTF?

Fuck this shit I'm going to Chipolte.

I see a couple of bums get arrested at the Chipolte/Panda Express and I cheer up as all is right with the world.

Next up, Omaha hi/lo on Wednesday.

JDN

Caesars Classic $500

The last time I played a tournament here I won it. Of course that was in April and the only tournament I've cashed since then was the barge main event. Hopefully lightening can strike twice.

Table 26 seat 5

Hey look at that! Same table and seat that I had when I won the tournament.

Good or bad omen? I dunno. Remains to be seen.

I fold every hand in the first level and never see a flop. So poor.

20 minutes into the 2nd level it's folded to me and I raise too 300 with queens. The Asian lady to my left calls as does the old man with the big blind in seat 10.

The flop comes 6s 7h 9h. The Geezer checks. I bet 600 into a 1000 pot. Lady folds and Gramps calls. The turn is the 6d. The Geriatric checks and I bet 1100. He moves all in. Huh?

I've already seen him play a few horrible hands so I can put him on anything from A9, TT, JJ or even a flush draw. All hands that I can beat.

So I call. He and his disgusting balding old man white ponytail show the monster 8c 6c.

Fucking moron.

GG
JDN

pwned by old dude