$500 HORSE at the Venetian

I get to the Venetian around the start time of 4pm and there's a line. A line? At the Venetian? For a HORSE tournament?

Whatever. I head over to the sportsbook to collect on my awesome bet on Brett Rogers to beat Andrei Arlovski in the MMA fight last night.

So that means this tourney is a FREEROLL!!!!

Table 75 seat 8

We start with 10K in chips and 20 minutes for each game. I still don't understand why they don't change the game every 8 hands. If Harrahs and the WSOP can do it, so can the Venetian. At least I would assume so.

Table draw:

Seat 1: RWG aka Douche Bag
Seat 2: ROWG, possibly a Euro. He also has the biggest fanny pack evar! Matusow would be jealous. If he pulled his shirt over it, he would look very preggers.
Seat 3: Agro Euro that I've played with before. I think he's Italian.
Seat 4: RBG
Seat 5: RAG with an Affliction shirt on. Bordering on douchiness but I'm not going to tap the aquarium.
Seat 6: RYWG. He's pretty bad at all the games.
Seat 7: ROWG
Seat 8: J to the D to the N

I play drum tight for the first 5 levels, they're only 20 minutes long and nothing interesting happens.

I get to the first break with 11750

I decide to put on a clinic in the 2nd round of razz. I pick up 4 or 5 pots before the show down with a face showing or a pair visible. It helps that people are checking out of turn and the Asian kid pretty much tells you his hand with his facial expressions. I like my table.

I got 15K when we head into the stud level.

The douche in seat 1 opens up his hand on 7th street in stud8 before I can act. He's got 22 for a high. I have a 76 low no pair.

I check and open my hand and split the pot. Wait! Damn it! I should have bet. There's no way he could've called.

Well, he's bad enough that he might have.

14k going into the 2nd break and the Lakers are in overtime.

I chop down fanny pack guy in hold'em and he busts a few hands later.

Agro Euro busts at the beginning of Omaha. They're probably the first two out of the tourney.

Fucking Omaha! In a massive 4 way pot I lose 3500 with 3s full of 4s vs 3s full of 5s. Two other donks were playing nut lows. I thought I was taking half the pot and even when the cards were turned over I still thought I was getting half because the Affliction Asian said he had a 7 high straight. Then he saw his full house. Bah.

Down to 11K.

Here comes razz!

Ok... I'm either the wrostest or the bestest razz player. I personally think I'm reading the other players hands really well and making great bets.

I win two big pots when I'm the bring with a 9, and with the Ks. Got paid off the whole way with Ks hand when I make a 7 5 4 2 A low.

I know it sounds like a bad play, but believe me. It played it perfect.

Up to 15500.

The numbers are in! 230 players, 34K for 1st place. That would be nice.

16600 at break. I think the payouts are wrong. It's paying out 18 spots for an 8 handed tourney. That's probably wrong. I'm gonna start some shit.

Look like that's the way they pay out. Couldn't get in a TDA fight. Damn.

Cyndy Violette, Roy Winston, and Hollywood Douche (Dave), sightings on break. Times are tough.

I get a little frisky in the hold'em level and fire 4 bullets with A high and a gutter ball. The Afflicted Asian finally called thinking he was losing. Awesome.

Omaha sucks. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

Frankie O'Dell moves to our table. Lovely.

9400 at dinner break.

I see an awesome hooker on hooker fight in front of the Venetian. I got a burrito in hand and I'm just waiting fir the titties to start flying.

They never make an appearance but the quote of the fight was, "Lemme catch my breath. I smoke."

I love las vegas sometimes.

On the 2nd hand of razz I have an ace showing with a 3 5 in the hole. I complete and Frankie raises with a 5 showing. The Afflicted Asian calls with a 5 showing, and someone else calls.

On 4th street Frankie catches a 9, the Asian gets a Ten, other guy gets a Q and I get a 6. Sweet. I'm first to act and I bet out. Frankie raises. What? The Asian with the T calls. Wait!

Other guy folds and I ask the dealer if we're playing razz. He says yes and I raise. Don't you worry. It gets capped 3 ways.

On 5th street Frankie gets a K, the Asian hits a J and I have a K. I bet. Call call.

Morons. I'm drawing to a 6 while they're drawing to a 9 and a ten.

6th street pairs Frankie's K, pairs the Asian's J and pairs my 6. I'm still way ahead. I bet.

Call call. I have 700 left and I put it in blind before the I get dealt 7th street.

Frankie calls and so does the Asian. WHAT THE FUCK!? Really?

I squeeze my and hand I see that I pick up the last K in the deck to get a pair of sixes for a low. Frankie flips over his 98 low like its the nuts and it is. The Asian drew a 10 7 low.

I stand up and tell Frankie to be really proud of that hand. Fucking morons.

I've never been so mad after a hand as I was after that one. I really don't have the words for it.

So I take all the money in my pocket to the blackjack table and try to lose it all.

Some how I make money and end up for the day. I'm still steaming though.

$3K WSOP HORSE is up next for me.

JDN

Bellagio super sat

I normally don't do reports on sats (even though I should because it's the only thing I can constantly win at and bring less fail to this blog), but since this turned out to be a star studded event, it gets a write up.

Making short appearance in seat 1 was James Van Alstyne, JVA if you will.

Tony Cousineau is in seat 3 and the lovely Jennifer Tilly is in seat 7.

JVA dumps all his chips to Ms Tilly in a poorly timed continuation bluff.

The old lady in seat 2 is playing limit hold'em and I can't help but call if I'm in a hand with her.

Barry Greenstein is playing. Huh? This recession is a bitch.

I get Tony to lay down kings on a jack high flop. I show him queens. Snap.

In all honestly, which this game is all about, he might as well just have given me his chips. In the 3 way pot he tanked it after my flop bet. He said something about having kings before he made the crying call.

The turn put useless card on the board and he folded his hand face up. If you're going to make it that easy... We can do this all day.

I lose half my stack to seat 8 on a A J A 7 4 board with my AT vs his AJ. He had a big verbal tell when announced his check on the turn. I knew he had an ace but I thought I had him out kicked because he limped preflop.

1325 at break. Well... It's amazing that I actually made a break at the Bellagio but I stayed alive too long to make it to the Caesars 3pm. Bah!

I move in with A4 twice and don't get called. That's a first.

I double up with KT vs the A9 of seat 8 when a king hits the river. Sweet!

Roy Winston moves into Jennifer Tilly's seat after she ran into a flopped straight.

So, the payouts were posted (remember this is a satellite) and 18 places get seats. 19th place gets cash. $15. Yes. A $15 payout in a $1500 tournament. The tilt! Can you imagine?

I swear right now, if I get 19th, I'm dropping a deuce in the Bellagio lake.

I double up again with KJ vs 55 on flop of Q Q Q. Aiyeah. Don't worry, I get there and on the river no less. 3500.

I double yet again with AK vs QQ. A king on the flop and an ace on the turn seal the deal and I got 8k.

I punish Tony and seat 8 some more and get up to 17k. Blinds are at 300/600 with a 50 ante.

The old lady in seat 2 is missing the end of her right pinky. She could be yakuza. I will proceed with caution.

Yeeeeah boy! Made my first 2nd break at Bellagio. On the way out I make eye contact with David benyamine.

...

$16425 at break.

Here's an interesting hand. In a satellite! Crazy Russian (at least the 3rd one I've seen at this table (and Allen Kesslar doesn't seem so crazy)) raises my big blind to 2400 and I call from the with KJ off.

The flop falls 9 J 6. I think about what I should do and the CR bets 3500. WTF? The dealer burns... Whoa whoa whoa! I tell the dealer to call the floor. This guy has bet outta turn the last 3 hands he played.

This puts him on super steam. It's the cold war all over again. He's got shit and I know it. He didn't even count the chips out before he bets. After Tang (the tournament director for you non-Bellagio peeps) gives him a warning, I ask for a count. He can't even bother to count them all and says 15,000. He's got more than that.

I think a little more, letting the steam sink in a bit, before asking the dealer what the rules is. As he explains it, and I know what it is, I watch the CR as steam starts spewing out his ears.

How can I get all his chips? I think if I check raise after all this, he folds. If I bets what he bet, he folds. If I shove... If I shove he might call on accord of him being a CR. Hmmmmm.

"I'm all in." I announce. He snap calls. Oops. He shows KQ. Yeeeeah boy!

Blank blank and I'm up to 40K.

3 hands later Chad Layne (or Moore I can't remember) raises under the gun and old yakuza lady moves in. I look down at two black aces. I call. Chad whatshisname folds and she shows AQ. Sweet.

65Kish. I don't feel like counting.

With 26 players left the table breaks and I get moved to table 59. Ericka Schoenberg is in seat 6, Barry Greenstein is in seat 8, and Roy Winston is in seat 10. This table really adds to SEO value.

Roy Winston is telling stories about Allen Kesslar but he keeps calling him Allen Cunningham.

I ask Barry if he's ever played a tournament with a $15 payout. And Barry being Barry says yes, "A $3 rebuy on Stars." Everyone is a comedian.

65Kish at break.

I made $15 at video poker during the break, plus a free beer, and when I cashed out, the machine gave me a $100 bill and 15 dollar bills. WTF? I'm not playing a hand in this sat again.

Down to 19. Guaranteed $15. Sweet.

Winner winner chicken dinner.

Dunno what day I'm playing yet.

Update coming on Saturday. I'm thinking about sitting out day 1 to make day 2.

JDN