I get to the Venetian around the start time of 4pm and there's a line. A line? At the Venetian? For a HORSE tournament?
Whatever. I head over to the sportsbook to collect on my awesome bet on Brett Rogers to beat Andrei Arlovski in the MMA fight last night.
So that means this tourney is a FREEROLL!!!!
Table 75 seat 8
We start with 10K in chips and 20 minutes for each game. I still don't understand why they don't change the game every 8 hands. If Harrahs and the WSOP can do it, so can the Venetian. At least I would assume so.
Table draw:
Seat 1: RWG aka Douche Bag
Seat 2: ROWG, possibly a Euro. He also has the biggest fanny pack evar! Matusow would be jealous. If he pulled his shirt over it, he would look very preggers.
Seat 3: Agro Euro that I've played with before. I think he's Italian.
Seat 4: RBG
Seat 5: RAG with an Affliction shirt on. Bordering on douchiness but I'm not going to tap the aquarium.
Seat 6: RYWG. He's pretty bad at all the games.
Seat 7: ROWG
Seat 8: J to the D to the N
I play drum tight for the first 5 levels, they're only 20 minutes long and nothing interesting happens.
I get to the first break with 11750
I decide to put on a clinic in the 2nd round of razz. I pick up 4 or 5 pots before the show down with a face showing or a pair visible. It helps that people are checking out of turn and the Asian kid pretty much tells you his hand with his facial expressions. I like my table.
I got 15K when we head into the stud level.
The douche in seat 1 opens up his hand on 7th street in stud8 before I can act. He's got 22 for a high. I have a 76 low no pair.
I check and open my hand and split the pot. Wait! Damn it! I should have bet. There's no way he could've called.
Well, he's bad enough that he might have.
14k going into the 2nd break and the Lakers are in overtime.
I chop down fanny pack guy in hold'em and he busts a few hands later.
Agro Euro busts at the beginning of Omaha. They're probably the first two out of the tourney.
Fucking Omaha! In a massive 4 way pot I lose 3500 with 3s full of 4s vs 3s full of 5s. Two other donks were playing nut lows. I thought I was taking half the pot and even when the cards were turned over I still thought I was getting half because the Affliction Asian said he had a 7 high straight. Then he saw his full house. Bah.
Down to 11K.
Here comes razz!
Ok... I'm either the wrostest or the bestest razz player. I personally think I'm reading the other players hands really well and making great bets.
I win two big pots when I'm the bring with a 9, and with the Ks. Got paid off the whole way with Ks hand when I make a 7 5 4 2 A low.
I know it sounds like a bad play, but believe me. It played it perfect.
Up to 15500.
The numbers are in! 230 players, 34K for 1st place. That would be nice.
16600 at break. I think the payouts are wrong. It's paying out 18 spots for an 8 handed tourney. That's probably wrong. I'm gonna start some shit.
Look like that's the way they pay out. Couldn't get in a TDA fight. Damn.
Cyndy Violette, Roy Winston, and Hollywood Douche (Dave), sightings on break. Times are tough.
I get a little frisky in the hold'em level and fire 4 bullets with A high and a gutter ball. The Afflicted Asian finally called thinking he was losing. Awesome.
Omaha sucks. That's all I'm gonna say about that.
Frankie O'Dell moves to our table. Lovely.
9400 at dinner break.
I see an awesome hooker on hooker fight in front of the Venetian. I got a burrito in hand and I'm just waiting fir the titties to start flying.
They never make an appearance but the quote of the fight was, "Lemme catch my breath. I smoke."
I love las vegas sometimes.
On the 2nd hand of razz I have an ace showing with a 3 5 in the hole. I complete and Frankie raises with a 5 showing. The Afflicted Asian calls with a 5 showing, and someone else calls.
On 4th street Frankie catches a 9, the Asian gets a Ten, other guy gets a Q and I get a 6. Sweet. I'm first to act and I bet out. Frankie raises. What? The Asian with the T calls. Wait!
Other guy folds and I ask the dealer if we're playing razz. He says yes and I raise. Don't you worry. It gets capped 3 ways.
On 5th street Frankie gets a K, the Asian hits a J and I have a K. I bet. Call call.
Morons. I'm drawing to a 6 while they're drawing to a 9 and a ten.
6th street pairs Frankie's K, pairs the Asian's J and pairs my 6. I'm still way ahead. I bet.
Call call. I have 700 left and I put it in blind before the I get dealt 7th street.
Frankie calls and so does the Asian. WHAT THE FUCK!? Really?
I squeeze my and hand I see that I pick up the last K in the deck to get a pair of sixes for a low. Frankie flips over his 98 low like its the nuts and it is. The Asian drew a 10 7 low.
I stand up and tell Frankie to be really proud of that hand. Fucking morons.
I've never been so mad after a hand as I was after that one. I really don't have the words for it.
So I take all the money in my pocket to the blackjack table and try to lose it all.
Some how I make money and end up for the day. I'm still steaming though.
$3K WSOP HORSE is up next for me.
JDN
Showing posts with label Hollywood Douche. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hollywood Douche. Show all posts
6.09.2009
6.12.2008
WSOP Event #22 $3000 HORSE
I was the bubble boy in this tournament last year when it was $2500. Here's to not bubbling this year! Cocktails!!!
Table Draw:
Seat 1: Some guy named Jack that I know. Kinda.
Seat 2: ROWG
Seat 3: JDN
Seat 4: RAG (Random Asian Guy)
Seat 5: ROG (Random Old Guy) ethnicity unknown
Seat 6: RPG (Random Persian Guy)
Seat 7: My 2nd favorite friend from North Carolina, Mike "The Kid" Gracz
Seat 8: Hollywood Dave... Here we go again. Hopefully he doesn't feel the need to berate the the players at the table like I witnessed at the Ceasars Tournament. I'm going to change his name to Hollywood Douche.
You're doing it wrong! This year the Rio is changing the game every 8 hands instead of every half an hour. The dealers are keeping track of the hands and game with numbered pieces of yellow paper. So far we've had a couple of disputes and one name calling incident. This should end well.
Finally I hit my heater in the Stud 8 level. I win 5 outta the 8 hands and I'm rolled up twice. In a row. Once with 9s to scoop and once with 2s to scoop. So sick, as Roland de Wolfe would say. Everyone at the table hates me but its a pleasant atmosphere and the table banter is fun.
I continue to torture Hollywood Douche in the stud rounds and he's lost half his stack by the end of the Stud 8 level.
At first break I have 12k and have doubled up in two levels of limit games. And two of the games are split games! For the first time this WSOP, I'm actually having a good time.
I bust Hollywood Douche in the next omaha round when I make a 8 high flush against his A A x x. Opps. Thank you come again.
Shortly there after, David Bach and his little fan get moved to the table. All the short stacks keep doubling up. This is BS. Someone needs to bust.
Allen "The Chainsaw" Kessler gets moved to my left after one of the short stacks finally goes busto. I get involved in one of the best hands of the tournament. I got no clue what the blinds are, so you can just plug in some random numbers and make it a huge hand.
During the hold'em round I call a raise from the button by seat one with AJ. David Bach calls from the big blind. The flop comes Kc Tc 9d. Bach checks, seat 1 bets, I call (gonna need a Q), and Bach moves all in for less. The turn is a Q. Ding! Seat 1 bets into me. Double Ding!! I raise he calls. The river is a 2. Or a 4. I can't remember but it didn't matter. Seat 1 checks I bet, he calls. I open up my broadway and seat 1 does the "Kevin Garnett" scream, but no chest pounding since its a losers scream, and throws his JJ down. As David Bach mucks he shows us the QJ. Dang. Sick.
21K at the midnight break.
The table finally breaks at 1am. I got 28k and I got some new faces at my next table. In seat 2 is David Levi, in seat 4 is Andy "I'm not Andrew Black" Bloch, and in seat 5 is Cardplayer's Queen Bee, Alyn Schulman.
I get involved in another rather large pot in the stud round with Andy Bloch. This seems to be a theme developing for this tournament.
Andy brings in with a 2 showing and I complete with (K K) T and Andy calls. I hit a K on 4th street and Andy calls my bet. On 5th street and Andy hits another 2. I'm golden now. I check raise him, he calls. On 6th I catch the last deuce and Andy calls another bet. On 7th Andy checks blind and I squeeze out another T to fill up. Of course I bet and he calls.
As I open up my hand I say, "Kings full." Andy thinks I say kings up, and shows his trip 2s. No sir Mr MIT blackjack genius, that's KINGS FULL, not kings up. Ship it to me. Andy is crippled and gets busted the next hand. 34k for me.
I end the night with 31,200, good for 12th in chips.
Day 2
I wake up to the noon sunshine and the birds chirping and the freeway freeing and... I'm kinda hung over from drinking a bottle of wine the night before to celebrate not busting out of a tournament. Its go time!
Table Draw:
Seat 1: ROWG
Seat 2: Greg "Fossilman" Raymer. His fossil looks like a lacured clam.
Seat 3: JDN
Seat 4: Ted Forrest
Seat 5: Markus Gosler
Seat 6: Random Euro
Seat 7: Annoying Euro from the omaha tournament that turns out to be south american. Still annoying though.
Seat 8: ROBWG (random older bald white guy)
Greg Raymer just keeps talking about nothing the whole time we're at the table. Yadda yadda yadda. I'm considering asking Hoyt Corkins if I can borrow his ear plugs. It's more like he's just talking to himself and everyone has to listen as he tries to draw people into his self-conversation. Ted even looks mildly annoyed and he stops responding to the Fossilman.
I lose 10k in the opening omaha round playing like a banana (tyvm eugenetoddbro). Maybe I should rethink my omaha strategy.
The table breaks and the poker gods have shined on me.
Table Draw:
Seat 1: JDN
Seat 2: Jim Pechac or something. The second fattest man in poker and an equally as large douche bag. One of these days I'll explain why I think he's a monster douche but I don't want to write the whole story of how he called the floor when he wasn't in the hand and how they took away the turn card and how I lost the hand after the turn was mucked. Douche bag.
Seat 3: ROWG
Seat 4: Markus Gosler
Seat 5: ROWG
Seat 6: ROWG
Seat 7: Phil Ivey
Seat 8: Shannon Elizabeth
Both Shannon and Phil have chips, ohhhhhh snap!
I say hi to Shannon and Phil and before too long Mike Sexton joins the table. Let's get our gamble on!!!
Guess what happens next? HUGE HAND! In stud no less.
Mike Sexton completes to 1200 (i remember the blinds) with a 4 showing and Shannon calls with a T up. I raise with 888. That's right. Rolled up again. Mike and Shannon call. My 4th street is a 5 and Mike and Shannon both hit an ace. Hmmmm. I check, Mike bets and Shannon raises. Now I guess I could have just called here and check raise on 5th street but I thought this was a good time to get Mike out of the hand. So I reraise. Mike just shakes his head and finally folds. Shannon calls.
I know that she doesn't have that much experience in stud and that she's only playing her hand. I bet every street, end up making 8s full of 5s, and Shannon calls with aces. Ding! As I open up my hand Mike says I can't believe you were rolled up. You should have seen me yesterday Mr Voice of the WPT.
I'm up to 49k. Then two hands later, I give some back to Shannon. I have buried aces and reraise Shannon's raise. She calls and everyone folds. We're off to the races. She catches a K on 5th street and I should fold. If she has buried aces I'm done but I figure she could easily have queens or jacks. I call her down but she checks 7th. Huh? I consider betting out and calling her Nadia to tilt her but I decide not to. I'm a nice guy. Sometimes. Once in a while. Rarely.
She shows the trip kings and I muck. Fuck. I liked those chips.
Table breaks. Damn it.
Table Redraw:
Seat 1: Berry Johnston. I like Berry, he's and old timer and an all around nice guy. But I swear to god he is my biggest mush in omaha. Either that or I just suck but I always seem to suck just a little bit more when Berry's at my table. Online and offline. Berry's mushiness travels over the internets.
Seat 3: Tom Scheinder. Tom is holding a plastic knife in his hand. I feel a stabbin' coming.
Those are the only two peeps I know. Can men over 50 be peeps? The Aussie to my left talks too much. I miss the other table.
This table breaks after I win a massive pot in Razz and I get moved to Hoyt's table
with about 60k in chips. Its all down hill from here.
Basically I can't win a hand or half a hand. I tighten up a bit as the bubble nears and I'm sitting on 40Kish with 43 left. 40 pay. Then comes this hand. In stud.
I'm the bring in with a 4. Its folded around to the short stack directly to my right. He raises with a Q showing. I look down at 5s 6s. I call. This could be interesting. 4th street bring me a Ks. Good card. He bets I call. 5th street gives me a 7s. Very nice. He bets I call. He's getting short. On 6th street I peel off a Jh. Pretty useless. He bets out leaving himself less than a full bet left. Ok, I'm open ended with a flush draw. If he has split Queens, I gotta nice here. Even if he has two pair or even rolled up, I got a lotta outs to win.
I raise him all in. He calls and shows split queens. Good I like my draw. I need an 8, a 3, a spade or a king. Thats like half the deck.
7th street comes faces down. Time to squeeze. Its black! Its and ace! But its a club. Fuck! One time and all that shit.
I'm down to 12k and not being able to pump the breaks I get it all in on the next hand with buried 5s against the buried 8's of the annoying Aussie. Pretty much drawing dead by 5th street and I'm going home. So fucking poor. I place 42nd while 40 pay.
I quit. Heineken please. Exit stage right.
JfuckingDN
Table Draw:
Seat 1: Some guy named Jack that I know. Kinda.
Seat 2: ROWG
Seat 3: JDN
Seat 4: RAG (Random Asian Guy)
Seat 5: ROG (Random Old Guy) ethnicity unknown
Seat 6: RPG (Random Persian Guy)
Seat 7: My 2nd favorite friend from North Carolina, Mike "The Kid" Gracz
Seat 8: Hollywood Dave... Here we go again. Hopefully he doesn't feel the need to berate the the players at the table like I witnessed at the Ceasars Tournament. I'm going to change his name to Hollywood Douche.
You're doing it wrong! This year the Rio is changing the game every 8 hands instead of every half an hour. The dealers are keeping track of the hands and game with numbered pieces of yellow paper. So far we've had a couple of disputes and one name calling incident. This should end well.
Finally I hit my heater in the Stud 8 level. I win 5 outta the 8 hands and I'm rolled up twice. In a row. Once with 9s to scoop and once with 2s to scoop. So sick, as Roland de Wolfe would say. Everyone at the table hates me but its a pleasant atmosphere and the table banter is fun.
I continue to torture Hollywood Douche in the stud rounds and he's lost half his stack by the end of the Stud 8 level.
At first break I have 12k and have doubled up in two levels of limit games. And two of the games are split games! For the first time this WSOP, I'm actually having a good time.
I bust Hollywood Douche in the next omaha round when I make a 8 high flush against his A A x x. Opps. Thank you come again.
Shortly there after, David Bach and his little fan get moved to the table. All the short stacks keep doubling up. This is BS. Someone needs to bust.
Allen "The Chainsaw" Kessler gets moved to my left after one of the short stacks finally goes busto. I get involved in one of the best hands of the tournament. I got no clue what the blinds are, so you can just plug in some random numbers and make it a huge hand.
During the hold'em round I call a raise from the button by seat one with AJ. David Bach calls from the big blind. The flop comes Kc Tc 9d. Bach checks, seat 1 bets, I call (gonna need a Q), and Bach moves all in for less. The turn is a Q. Ding! Seat 1 bets into me. Double Ding!! I raise he calls. The river is a 2. Or a 4. I can't remember but it didn't matter. Seat 1 checks I bet, he calls. I open up my broadway and seat 1 does the "Kevin Garnett" scream, but no chest pounding since its a losers scream, and throws his JJ down. As David Bach mucks he shows us the QJ. Dang. Sick.
21K at the midnight break.
The table finally breaks at 1am. I got 28k and I got some new faces at my next table. In seat 2 is David Levi, in seat 4 is Andy "I'm not Andrew Black" Bloch, and in seat 5 is Cardplayer's Queen Bee, Alyn Schulman.
I get involved in another rather large pot in the stud round with Andy Bloch. This seems to be a theme developing for this tournament.
Andy brings in with a 2 showing and I complete with (K K) T and Andy calls. I hit a K on 4th street and Andy calls my bet. On 5th street and Andy hits another 2. I'm golden now. I check raise him, he calls. On 6th I catch the last deuce and Andy calls another bet. On 7th Andy checks blind and I squeeze out another T to fill up. Of course I bet and he calls.
As I open up my hand I say, "Kings full." Andy thinks I say kings up, and shows his trip 2s. No sir Mr MIT blackjack genius, that's KINGS FULL, not kings up. Ship it to me. Andy is crippled and gets busted the next hand. 34k for me.
I end the night with 31,200, good for 12th in chips.
Day 2
I wake up to the noon sunshine and the birds chirping and the freeway freeing and... I'm kinda hung over from drinking a bottle of wine the night before to celebrate not busting out of a tournament. Its go time!
Table Draw:
Seat 1: ROWG
Seat 2: Greg "Fossilman" Raymer. His fossil looks like a lacured clam.
Seat 3: JDN
Seat 4: Ted Forrest
Seat 5: Markus Gosler
Seat 6: Random Euro
Seat 7: Annoying Euro from the omaha tournament that turns out to be south american. Still annoying though.
Seat 8: ROBWG (random older bald white guy)
Greg Raymer just keeps talking about nothing the whole time we're at the table. Yadda yadda yadda. I'm considering asking Hoyt Corkins if I can borrow his ear plugs. It's more like he's just talking to himself and everyone has to listen as he tries to draw people into his self-conversation. Ted even looks mildly annoyed and he stops responding to the Fossilman.
I lose 10k in the opening omaha round playing like a banana (tyvm eugenetoddbro). Maybe I should rethink my omaha strategy.
The table breaks and the poker gods have shined on me.
Table Draw:
Seat 1: JDN
Seat 2: Jim Pechac or something. The second fattest man in poker and an equally as large douche bag. One of these days I'll explain why I think he's a monster douche but I don't want to write the whole story of how he called the floor when he wasn't in the hand and how they took away the turn card and how I lost the hand after the turn was mucked. Douche bag.
Seat 3: ROWG
Seat 4: Markus Gosler
Seat 5: ROWG
Seat 6: ROWG
Seat 7: Phil Ivey
Seat 8: Shannon Elizabeth
Both Shannon and Phil have chips, ohhhhhh snap!
I say hi to Shannon and Phil and before too long Mike Sexton joins the table. Let's get our gamble on!!!
Guess what happens next? HUGE HAND! In stud no less.
Mike Sexton completes to 1200 (i remember the blinds) with a 4 showing and Shannon calls with a T up. I raise with 888. That's right. Rolled up again. Mike and Shannon call. My 4th street is a 5 and Mike and Shannon both hit an ace. Hmmmm. I check, Mike bets and Shannon raises. Now I guess I could have just called here and check raise on 5th street but I thought this was a good time to get Mike out of the hand. So I reraise. Mike just shakes his head and finally folds. Shannon calls.
I know that she doesn't have that much experience in stud and that she's only playing her hand. I bet every street, end up making 8s full of 5s, and Shannon calls with aces. Ding! As I open up my hand Mike says I can't believe you were rolled up. You should have seen me yesterday Mr Voice of the WPT.
I'm up to 49k. Then two hands later, I give some back to Shannon. I have buried aces and reraise Shannon's raise. She calls and everyone folds. We're off to the races. She catches a K on 5th street and I should fold. If she has buried aces I'm done but I figure she could easily have queens or jacks. I call her down but she checks 7th. Huh? I consider betting out and calling her Nadia to tilt her but I decide not to. I'm a nice guy. Sometimes. Once in a while. Rarely.
She shows the trip kings and I muck. Fuck. I liked those chips.
Table breaks. Damn it.
Table Redraw:
Seat 1: Berry Johnston. I like Berry, he's and old timer and an all around nice guy. But I swear to god he is my biggest mush in omaha. Either that or I just suck but I always seem to suck just a little bit more when Berry's at my table. Online and offline. Berry's mushiness travels over the internets.
Seat 3: Tom Scheinder. Tom is holding a plastic knife in his hand. I feel a stabbin' coming.
Those are the only two peeps I know. Can men over 50 be peeps? The Aussie to my left talks too much. I miss the other table.
This table breaks after I win a massive pot in Razz and I get moved to Hoyt's table
with about 60k in chips. Its all down hill from here.
Basically I can't win a hand or half a hand. I tighten up a bit as the bubble nears and I'm sitting on 40Kish with 43 left. 40 pay. Then comes this hand. In stud.
I'm the bring in with a 4. Its folded around to the short stack directly to my right. He raises with a Q showing. I look down at 5s 6s. I call. This could be interesting. 4th street bring me a Ks. Good card. He bets I call. 5th street gives me a 7s. Very nice. He bets I call. He's getting short. On 6th street I peel off a Jh. Pretty useless. He bets out leaving himself less than a full bet left. Ok, I'm open ended with a flush draw. If he has split Queens, I gotta nice here. Even if he has two pair or even rolled up, I got a lotta outs to win.
I raise him all in. He calls and shows split queens. Good I like my draw. I need an 8, a 3, a spade or a king. Thats like half the deck.
7th street comes faces down. Time to squeeze. Its black! Its and ace! But its a club. Fuck! One time and all that shit.
I'm down to 12k and not being able to pump the breaks I get it all in on the next hand with buried 5s against the buried 8's of the annoying Aussie. Pretty much drawing dead by 5th street and I'm going home. So fucking poor. I place 42nd while 40 pay.
I quit. Heineken please. Exit stage right.
JfuckingDN
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