I busted a Full Tilt Pro

Congratulations! You busted out a Pro, your details are required!

customerservice@fulltiltstore.com Sun, Jul 27, 2008 at 3:10 PM
Reply-To: customerservice@fulltiltstore.com
To: jdn@pokerwtf.com, customerservice@fulltiltstore.com

Hello JDN,

Congratulations! You busted ScottMontgomery in the following tournament:

European Main Event Qualifier

We have credited your Full Tilt Poker account with a bounty prize of $200.00.

In recognition of your achievement, we would like to send you a special T-Shirt. So that we can ensure you receive this prize, please reply to this email and confirm your shipping address and T-Shirt size. T-shirts are available in the following sizes: M, L, XL, XXL, or XXXL.

Remember, Full Tilt Poker offers a bounty for busting any red pro playing in any scheduled real money tournament with 30 players or greater. You can collect a bounty matching the tournament buy-in (not including tournament fee) up to $200.

The current address we have in our records for you is:
JDN
I'm not posting my address here cause the 4 fuckwits that read this are insane.

If you would like the T-Shirt shipped to another address, please note your preferred destination in your reply.

We're happy to have you playing at Full Tilt Poker, and best of luck at the tables!

Sincerely,

Full Tilt Poker

JDN Mon, Sep 1, 2008 at 5:55 PM
To: customerservice@fulltiltstore.com
Dear Full Tilt Support Peeps,

Thank you for the free shirt offer. The $200 bounty was pretty damn cool too. But I'm all little confused as to who the hell ScottMontgomery is. Does he really not have a space in his given name? I tried asking him who he was and what was he doing in red. The only response I got from him was, "I'm red? Why am I red? I may have a fever."

Thank goodness that the nurse was at the table. She prescribed a a healthy dosage of fail and I delivered to him in the form of a bust out. Oh snap!

I would like my shirt to read "I Busted a Random Red Noob on FTP and it wasn't a suck out." XL please. I've been bulking up at the gym.

I would also like to get a shirt for my girlfriend (yes I do have one and she doesn't live in Canada). The last time I busted a red noob, I think it was that UFC guy (I kicked his ass), I request a small shirt to fit her petite frame. Unfortunately you sent me a XXXL. What does that mean? Do you think she's overweight? Big boned? I don't think so. She should probably wear a large but I'm not going to tell her that. That would be like trying to take the KFC bowl out of her hand before she's done. The last time I did that I had to sleep on the floor with the dogs for a week.

But I digress. Please send a small shirt that says, "My BF busted a red one and I all I got was this stupid t-shirt."

Thank you and I look forward to receiving my shirts.

JDN



JDN Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 10:33 PM
To: customerservice@fulltiltstore.com

Ok,
Since I know you guys are slammed (there's like 300 pros on your site, and 75% of them suck @$$(no offense Phil Gordon, but you're just a tall guy that likes to look down at people)) and you're dealing with a lot (A LOT) of bust outs. So I took the initiative and designed the shirts that I want from you. Feel free to add them to your store. Free of charge! I'm cool like that. I'm also a successful poker player and I don't need your peanuts.

Anywho, I look forward to receiving my shirts.

JDN

For her.

For him.