Top Carrot, a new show coming to Bravo this fall staring 20 hopeful gingers vying to become the next creepy ginger celebrity.
$300 buy in, 1000 chips to start, rebuys get you 1500 and the add on gets you 2000. 20 minute levels, it's a turbo! Sweet!
Table 5 seat 4
Table draw: Is really boring. No famous peeps, no poker pros, nothing. Except the little guy at the other end of the table that looks like Warwick Davis of Willow and Leprechaun fame.
In the first level I flop a flush and get paid off. Then I flop a straight and get paid off.
In the second level I flop 2nd pair and lose all my chips. Rebuy!
I call a 450 raise with 88 from the small blind and 3 of us see the 5 6 9 flop. Looks like I'm getting all in on this one. I check and seat 6 moves in for 750. Seat 10 flats calls and I move in for 725 more. Seat 10 can't fold and shows QQ. Seat 6 turns over 66 for set of sixes (hail Satan!) and I show my 88 and ask for a rebuy. A 7 on the turn and I tell the rebuy to go away. Triple up to 5500 or something.
Sweet.
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Hey look! It's the backside of that female poker player from that Celebrity Apprentice show. Don't they know that poker players are not celebrities?
I do the add on at the end of the 3rd level and I have 7500 at break. Since I have no crazies at my table I'm looking good. Figures that this is charity tourney and I'm doing good.
I double up the cranky grandma in seat 7 after her K8 makes two pair on the turn vs my TT. She got angry with me after I asked her how many chips she had left after she called my preflop raise.
She didn't want me to look at her chips and she tried to hide them behind her cup holder.
They're auctioning off a full tilt poker poker table signed by team full tilt. Including Clonie Gowen. Oops. I wonder how long that's been sitting in storage?
The redneck guy in seat 1 is playing for reals. He gets all pissed when people beat him in pots and he's boarderline throwing his cards into the muck. This charity tournament circuit is serious stuff.
This is officaly the most boring, tightest charity tournament table evar. I might need to order a cocktail.
I make the second break with 3575.
Triple up with jacks on the first hand back. Up to 9k before losing with aq vs a8. Down to 500, I move in under the gun with KK and get 2 callers. The guy next to me has TT and the guy in the small blind has AQ.
When an Ace hits on the flop I'm walking out the door, but I sit back down with the river brings a two outter K. I think I'm around 3000 when the table breaks.
I get moved next to Marissa the tax lady and funny enough, James the tax man was at the same table before he busted. This is pretty much the first time ever James and I weren't at the same table during a tournament. Next to Marissa is a dancer from the Fantasy show at the Luxor.
It's a topless show and this chick is defintely qualified. Her gianormous fun bags are basically spilling out the top of her corset. I have a hard time remembering my hole cards.
Then she stands up. Whoa! Those pants are too tight girlfriend. She's got this weird skinny chick muffin top, a biscuit can if you will, going on. Not to mention I see half her ass when she stands up.
With the tight jeans and the corset pinching her skin, her waddle looks like the cheese spilling out of the grilled cheese sandwich your mom used to make you.
Aiyeah.
I get my stack up to 10K before Jeremiah Smith and his nerdy glasses shows up to sweat me in a charity tournament. The guy has no life.
With blinds at 1k/2k I move in for 11k from middle position with As7s. The english guy at the other end of the table thinks about it forever before calling with AK. WTF took you so long bloke? I hit a 7 but still lose the hand thanks to my mush Mr Smith.
Oh well, it was for charity and I had a good time.
I'll probably play a Venetian tournament later this week. Bellagio only got 27 people for the 5K. I'm not going back there this month. Especially with the WSOPC starting at Caesars next weekend.
JDN
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