I got to Caesars about 5 hours earlier than expected because of rain. My day of golf got rained out. In Vegas. Really?
So I'm up all early and after breakfast I head down to Caesars. Unfortunately I forget my daily ritual and halfway through hour 1 I gotta drop a deuce.
So there I am in the stall. In a casino. Not much cleaner than Hollywood Park. Complating the universe, solving the world's problems when I hear the guy next to me start to cuss in between his gasps for breath as he presummibly gives birth to a monster brown trout. A lunker if you will.
This goes on for several long minutes as just sit there waiting for a prolapse. Then suddenly he gets up flushes the can and leaves. I don't think he wiped. I try to get a look at his shoes to see if he's at my table.
On a side note, I was impressed with Caesars TP quality. It's no charmin but it's quite soft. Kudos Harrahs.
Hour #7 results:
+$38
1 bloody mary
0 Heinekens
Post BM I start feeling all losey goosey and fire a bluff on the river vs the old lady in seat 5. She limped preflop, called my $10 bet on the T 7 3 flop, checked the 6 on the turn and bet $40 on the 9 river.
I reraised to $120 with A5. I did so because she looked really uncomfortable after making the bet. She was looking up, fumbling with her cards and such. I'd never seen her to do that in the hour and a half that we've been playing. I know she's weak. I've been pretty tight, I got a good image, but this is 1/3 at Caesars.
After thinking about for a while she says, "This is a bad call. I call."
She shows AT. Bah!
Hour #8 results:
-$150
0 Heinekens
Hour 9 is absolute shit. I have to rebuy after calling most of my stack off with bottom pair. Hey I thought I was good.
The goofball in seat 1 is holding over me and I've doubled him up twice, almost 3 times.
So I order a Heineken.
It's not here yet.
I more than double up to $420 (LOL) when I get it all in with a flush draw vs two pair. I river the flush. Finally! Some luck. Sweet!
I just watched the retarded cocktail waitress give my Heineken to a guy at another table. She then walked over to our table give the old lady her drink. She proceeded to stare at the wall for 10 minutes as I tried to get her attention.
Obv I failed to get her to notice me as she soon wandered over to the other side of the room trying to avoid eye contact with thirsty poker players.
This bitch is fucking with my mojo.
I proceed to blow 120 to the tubby cowpoke in seat 4.
The young kid next to me keeps mumbling about how bad the players are and how he wants a table change. I tell him this how all the games are. Noob.
Hour #9 results:
-$200
0 fucking Heinekens (I'm going into an alcoholic rage! Motherfuckers!)
I'm pretty sure that peter griffin from family guy is our dealer. He got contacts and grew a goatee to go incognito.
I decide to take a break and lose $200 at video poker. That worked out well.
It's now well into hour 10. Only 30 more to go. Shoot me now.
I like the new cocktail waitress. She's not retarded for starters. And she told me that she too likes to drink alone. I'm usually alone at midnight in my man cave drinking but I'm the only one at the table with a frosty beverage in front of me.
Hour #10 results:
-$385 in poker
2 Heinekens
-$200 in video poker
Shiiiiiiit. Retard waitress is back.
Absolutly nothing happens in hour 11.
Hour #11 results:
Lame
I swear I'm playing on a slow short bus to hell. The new guy in seat 2 looks like lurch and the senile old man in seat 5 just check raised the flop before open folding the turn. I've never seen that before.
I finally turn things around when I bust the senior broham when my flush gets there on the turn. Back up around $300 down. It's sucks so bad to be happy about being only $300 down in a 1/3 game.
Didn't notice at first but my hommie Kevin "bleu329" Peterson sits down in seat 3. I haven't seen that guy in a couple years.
I keep running into the goofy white guy in seat 7's big hands. He's got all these weird tells, it looks like his palms are sweaty, and twitches. I finally make a move on him when I push in with 6 high on a 9 A 9 K 7 board. He folds AJ face up, I can't resist and I show him the bluff. What a great set up. Now I can't leave till I bust him.
I think I'm in to hour 13 or 14. Results:
-$250 in poker
3 or 4 Heinekens
-$200 in video poker
Goofy white guy keeps holding over me and I get down to -$515 after he, I guess, outplays me or I underestimate his intelligence.
The very next hand I pick up aces, first in 12 hours, and what do you know? Goofy guy raise in front of me.
Oh snap! I just throw in my chips, about $85, (I've got $400 cash behind) hoping that goofball thinks I'm steaming. And it works! But on the wrong player.
The creepy euro kid in seat 2 reraises to $200 not seeing my $400 behind. Then goofy white guy almost calls. Damn it! He would have doubled me up had he called the $85.
Goofball finally folds and I throw my cash out on the table all disgusted like. I totally deserve an oscar nod. The euro calls with jacks. Sweet. I flop my set. Double sweet.
Then the dealer puts the Td on the turn giving him a royal gut shot draw. Shiiiiiiiiit. Now I gotta sweat this shit.
He misses and now I'm only down $100.
Goofy guy leaves. Fuck. I'm thinking about following him.
Hour #15? results:
-$200 in poker
5 heinekens
-$200 in video poker
The new "not obv retarded cocktail waitress" forgets my Heineken. WTF is going on here. You think with the economy being what it is, that Caesars would hire some decent waitresses for below street value.
Guess not. I may need to write a letter to Mr Harrah.
Hal Lubarsky is back. His reader is wearing the same pokerwire shirt from yesterday. My legacy lives on in the rarely bathed.
Around midnight I flop 2 pair on a J 7 A board with J7 and I run into A7. Down $550. Thats it, I'm done. I gotta go home and watch the Wire. It will be my only moment of happiness I'm going to experience today. Omar needs to blast some fools.
Results:
17 hours and 30 minutes
+$4 in poker
-$117.50 in video poker
I need to stay away from the hooker bar.
JDN
Showing posts with label Hal Lubarsky. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hal Lubarsky. Show all posts
1.24.2009
1.23.2009
40 hours of hell
Caesars Palace is running a promotion where a player can get into a freeroll to the NBC heads up if they play 40 hours of cash games in January. The first prize in the freeroll is a $20K seat and $10K in cash. Top 32 pay at least a dime and there should be only 225 people in it.
Of course I forgot about it until yesterday so I have 5 days to get 40 hours in. That's like a work week. It's been a while since I've done that.
So I gotta get this done by Tuesday. I leave for a vacation from Vegas on Wednesday (a must for vegas residents at least a couple of times a year).
I'm not much of a cash player. Definitely not a grinder and I'm riding a shit streak at cash. Somehow I've lost 3K straight at the Red Rock playing 2/5. So poor. Ok. Here we go. This is gonna suck.
I get into my seat around 6:15 and buy in for $300. Looking around at the boneheads playing this 1/3 game, and... and it's what you would expect at Caesars on a Thursday. I so belong here. This is my hell.
I play pretty tight for the first hour. I gotta practice some money management skills. The bank roll is wounded.
Only hand I saw the river on was my 77 vs the guy in seat 4's AA. Of course I called down and hit a 7 on the river.
Hour #1 results:
+$27
0 heinekens
In hour 2 I open it up a bit. On a board of 5 5 8 T 6 I call a $50 bet from seat 4 (again I know!) with 44 and it's good. The table goes wild. Seat 1 and 5 talk about it way too long, breaking it down and analyzing it, and I have to put my head phones in to drown it out.
I also hit a gutter ball on the turn with KT on a A 8 T J 7 board and get paid off. Sweet.
The cocktail waitresses here are pretty brutal. I ordered 3 drinks and only got 2 in 2 and a half hours.
Hour #2 results:
+$200
0 heinekens
After finally getting my Perrier, I pick up 22 in a multiway pot. The flop falls 8h 6h Th. It's checked around to the preflop raiser who bets $10. Hmmm. He must have the ace of hearts. I call. Everyone else folds. The turn is a black 7. I check he bets $10 again. Ok I just gotta fade an ace, king or a heart and this pot is mine. I think the river is a 5d. I check he shows the Kh As.
Dang! He was worse off than I thought. But not by much. The table laughs as I scoop the pot. Seat 1 starts talking again. Shut up dude!
A few hands later I pick up aces. I grab some chips to make a raise and a random chip rolls out from off my stack, not my hand, and stops past the betting line. WTF?! I stare at it for a second before asking the dealer if that's a bet? She says yes. Well, she should said it's a call. I protest as the other players at my table call the $3.
I call the floor over just explain the rule. (it was obv that I was trying to raise and the chip didn't come out my hand). Then the guy in seat 9, who looks like a mini Mike Matuaow, does the dumbest thing I've ever seen at a poker table. He raises to $8 to give me that option back.
Wait what? He says something like he's just being nice. Whatever. Idiot. I reraise to $20 and get 4 callers. Ahhh 1/3 No limit. You gotta love it.
I flop an ace and bust the fishy old dude in seat 7.
Hour #3 results
+$450
0 Heinekens
I decide to take a dinner break in hour 4. As long as your chips are at the table, you still get credit.
I grab a slice of pizza in the food court, that breaks apart when I pick it up, and hit up Caesars version of the hooker bar to play some video poker and watch the end of the laker game.
At the end of regulation I hit a straight flush and the smelly pirate hooker next to me slaps me on the back says something intelligible to me. Her voice is as gravely as county road she grew up on. I assume it's that way due to 50 years of smoking and gargling bum dong.
Hour #4 results:
+$300 in poker
2 heinekens
+$82.50 in video poker
The fat guy in seat 4 tells the hillbilly in seat 3 that he's a food broker. No shit Sherlock. What are the odds he's getting his kick backs in bacon?
The fake ginger dealer is telling the table about how she shares her boyfriend with other girls and her preference in the chubby chicks over the "skinny bitches".
Caesars is totally becoming Hollywood Park east.
I rake the biggest pot of the night when I flop a full house with 22 on a board of 6 2 6. The new seat 7 had Q6 and called a reraise and a $125 bet on the river. Sweet. I don't often get action when flopping a full house.
Hour #5 results:
+$500 in poker
3 Heinekens
1 bisexual dealer
+$82.50 in video poker
Hal Lubarsky is playing 1/3 two tables over. No doubt playing for the freeroll. Pretty sure Hal used to play the 10/20 game at the Mirage. I wonder how much he pays his reader? Is it a flat rate or a percentage? Gawd, playing him heads up would be brutal.
I wonder if it would be possible to throw his reader off? Like pretending to fall asleep at the table and betting the wrong amounts. Maybe blowing a vomit burp his way. I think tilting his reader would be the best way to beat him.
I pretty much coast through the last hour.
Hour #6 results:
+$554 in poker
3 heinekens
+$82.50
Shiiiiiiit. I clocked out too early and only got 5 hours and 50 minutes credited to me. 34:10 to go.
JDN
Of course I forgot about it until yesterday so I have 5 days to get 40 hours in. That's like a work week. It's been a while since I've done that.
So I gotta get this done by Tuesday. I leave for a vacation from Vegas on Wednesday (a must for vegas residents at least a couple of times a year).
I'm not much of a cash player. Definitely not a grinder and I'm riding a shit streak at cash. Somehow I've lost 3K straight at the Red Rock playing 2/5. So poor. Ok. Here we go. This is gonna suck.
I get into my seat around 6:15 and buy in for $300. Looking around at the boneheads playing this 1/3 game, and... and it's what you would expect at Caesars on a Thursday. I so belong here. This is my hell.
I play pretty tight for the first hour. I gotta practice some money management skills. The bank roll is wounded.
Only hand I saw the river on was my 77 vs the guy in seat 4's AA. Of course I called down and hit a 7 on the river.
Hour #1 results:
+$27
0 heinekens
In hour 2 I open it up a bit. On a board of 5 5 8 T 6 I call a $50 bet from seat 4 (again I know!) with 44 and it's good. The table goes wild. Seat 1 and 5 talk about it way too long, breaking it down and analyzing it, and I have to put my head phones in to drown it out.
I also hit a gutter ball on the turn with KT on a A 8 T J 7 board and get paid off. Sweet.
The cocktail waitresses here are pretty brutal. I ordered 3 drinks and only got 2 in 2 and a half hours.
Hour #2 results:
+$200
0 heinekens
After finally getting my Perrier, I pick up 22 in a multiway pot. The flop falls 8h 6h Th. It's checked around to the preflop raiser who bets $10. Hmmm. He must have the ace of hearts. I call. Everyone else folds. The turn is a black 7. I check he bets $10 again. Ok I just gotta fade an ace, king or a heart and this pot is mine. I think the river is a 5d. I check he shows the Kh As.
Dang! He was worse off than I thought. But not by much. The table laughs as I scoop the pot. Seat 1 starts talking again. Shut up dude!
A few hands later I pick up aces. I grab some chips to make a raise and a random chip rolls out from off my stack, not my hand, and stops past the betting line. WTF?! I stare at it for a second before asking the dealer if that's a bet? She says yes. Well, she should said it's a call. I protest as the other players at my table call the $3.
I call the floor over just explain the rule. (it was obv that I was trying to raise and the chip didn't come out my hand). Then the guy in seat 9, who looks like a mini Mike Matuaow, does the dumbest thing I've ever seen at a poker table. He raises to $8 to give me that option back.
Wait what? He says something like he's just being nice. Whatever. Idiot. I reraise to $20 and get 4 callers. Ahhh 1/3 No limit. You gotta love it.
I flop an ace and bust the fishy old dude in seat 7.
Hour #3 results
+$450
0 Heinekens
I decide to take a dinner break in hour 4. As long as your chips are at the table, you still get credit.
I grab a slice of pizza in the food court, that breaks apart when I pick it up, and hit up Caesars version of the hooker bar to play some video poker and watch the end of the laker game.
At the end of regulation I hit a straight flush and the smelly pirate hooker next to me slaps me on the back says something intelligible to me. Her voice is as gravely as county road she grew up on. I assume it's that way due to 50 years of smoking and gargling bum dong.
Hour #4 results:
+$300 in poker
2 heinekens
+$82.50 in video poker
the cash out machine runs on windows xp. vista sux.
The fat guy in seat 4 tells the hillbilly in seat 3 that he's a food broker. No shit Sherlock. What are the odds he's getting his kick backs in bacon?
The fake ginger dealer is telling the table about how she shares her boyfriend with other girls and her preference in the chubby chicks over the "skinny bitches".
Caesars is totally becoming Hollywood Park east.
I rake the biggest pot of the night when I flop a full house with 22 on a board of 6 2 6. The new seat 7 had Q6 and called a reraise and a $125 bet on the river. Sweet. I don't often get action when flopping a full house.
Hour #5 results:
+$500 in poker
3 Heinekens
1 bisexual dealer
+$82.50 in video poker
Hal Lubarsky is playing 1/3 two tables over. No doubt playing for the freeroll. Pretty sure Hal used to play the 10/20 game at the Mirage. I wonder how much he pays his reader? Is it a flat rate or a percentage? Gawd, playing him heads up would be brutal.
I wonder if it would be possible to throw his reader off? Like pretending to fall asleep at the table and betting the wrong amounts. Maybe blowing a vomit burp his way. I think tilting his reader would be the best way to beat him.
I pretty much coast through the last hour.
Hour #6 results:
+$554 in poker
3 heinekens
+$82.50
Shiiiiiiit. I clocked out too early and only got 5 hours and 50 minutes credited to me. 34:10 to go.
JDN
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