40 hours of hell

Caesars Palace is running a promotion where a player can get into a freeroll to the NBC heads up if they play 40 hours of cash games in January. The first prize in the freeroll is a $20K seat and $10K in cash. Top 32 pay at least a dime and there should be only 225 people in it.

Of course I forgot about it until yesterday so I have 5 days to get 40 hours in. That's like a work week. It's been a while since I've done that.

So I gotta get this done by Tuesday. I leave for a vacation from Vegas on Wednesday (a must for vegas residents at least a couple of times a year).

I'm not much of a cash player. Definitely not a grinder and I'm riding a shit streak at cash. Somehow I've lost 3K straight at the Red Rock playing 2/5. So poor. Ok. Here we go. This is gonna suck.

I get into my seat around 6:15 and buy in for $300. Looking around at the boneheads playing this 1/3 game, and... and it's what you would expect at Caesars on a Thursday. I so belong here. This is my hell.

I play pretty tight for the first hour. I gotta practice some money management skills. The bank roll is wounded.

Only hand I saw the river on was my 77 vs the guy in seat 4's AA. Of course I called down and hit a 7 on the river.

Hour #1 results:
+$27
0 heinekens

In hour 2 I open it up a bit. On a board of 5 5 8 T 6 I call a $50 bet from seat 4 (again I know!) with 44 and it's good. The table goes wild. Seat 1 and 5 talk about it way too long, breaking it down and analyzing it, and I have to put my head phones in to drown it out.

I also hit a gutter ball on the turn with KT on a A 8 T J 7 board and get paid off. Sweet.

The cocktail waitresses here are pretty brutal. I ordered 3 drinks and only got 2 in 2 and a half hours.

Hour #2 results:
+$200
0 heinekens

After finally getting my Perrier, I pick up 22 in a multiway pot. The flop falls 8h 6h Th. It's checked around to the preflop raiser who bets $10. Hmmm. He must have the ace of hearts. I call. Everyone else folds. The turn is a black 7. I check he bets $10 again. Ok I just gotta fade an ace, king or a heart and this pot is mine. I think the river is a 5d. I check he shows the Kh As.

Dang! He was worse off than I thought. But not by much. The table laughs as I scoop the pot. Seat 1 starts talking again. Shut up dude!

A few hands later I pick up aces. I grab some chips to make a raise and a random chip rolls out from off my stack, not my hand, and stops past the betting line. WTF?! I stare at it for a second before asking the dealer if that's a bet? She says yes. Well, she should said it's a call. I protest as the other players at my table call the $3.

I call the floor over just explain the rule. (it was obv that I was trying to raise and the chip didn't come out my hand). Then the guy in seat 9, who looks like a mini Mike Matuaow, does the dumbest thing I've ever seen at a poker table. He raises to $8 to give me that option back.

Wait what? He says something like he's just being nice. Whatever. Idiot. I reraise to $20 and get 4 callers. Ahhh 1/3 No limit. You gotta love it.

I flop an ace and bust the fishy old dude in seat 7.

Hour #3 results
+$450
0 Heinekens

I decide to take a dinner break in hour 4. As long as your chips are at the table, you still get credit.

I grab a slice of pizza in the food court, that breaks apart when I pick it up, and hit up Caesars version of the hooker bar to play some video poker and watch the end of the laker game.

At the end of regulation I hit a straight flush and the smelly pirate hooker next to me slaps me on the back says something intelligible to me. Her voice is as gravely as county road she grew up on. I assume it's that way due to 50 years of smoking and gargling bum dong.

Hour #4 results:
+$300 in poker
2 heinekens
+$82.50 in video poker

the cash out machine runs on windows xp. vista sux.

The fat guy in seat 4 tells the hillbilly in seat 3 that he's a food broker. No shit Sherlock. What are the odds he's getting his kick backs in bacon?

The fake ginger dealer is telling the table about how she shares her boyfriend with other girls and her preference in the chubby chicks over the "skinny bitches".

Caesars is totally becoming Hollywood Park east.

I rake the biggest pot of the night when I flop a full house with 22 on a board of 6 2 6. The new seat 7 had Q6 and called a reraise and a $125 bet on the river. Sweet. I don't often get action when flopping a full house.

Hour #5 results:
+$500 in poker
3 Heinekens
1 bisexual dealer
+$82.50 in video poker

Hal Lubarsky is playing 1/3 two tables over. No doubt playing for the freeroll. Pretty sure Hal used to play the 10/20 game at the Mirage. I wonder how much he pays his reader? Is it a flat rate or a percentage? Gawd, playing him heads up would be brutal.

I wonder if it would be possible to throw his reader off? Like pretending to fall asleep at the table and betting the wrong amounts. Maybe blowing a vomit burp his way. I think tilting his reader would be the best way to beat him.

I pretty much coast through the last hour.

Hour #6 results:
+$554 in poker
3 heinekens
+$82.50

Shiiiiiiit. I clocked out too early and only got 5 hours and 50 minutes credited to me. 34:10 to go.

JDN