$500 Pot Limit Omaha Hi/Lo LAPC

Possibly my last stab at a Commerce tourney this year, one can only torture one's self so much.

Table 32 seat 3

4000 in chips
40 minute levels
Mah favorite game!

Table draw:
Seat 1: Random Middle Aged Lady who looks like Sabyl Cohen's mini me
Seat 2: RWG
Seat 3: JDN
Seat 4: RWG
Seat 5: Random Mexican Guy in a wheelchair. He sucks at PLO8 btw. He's always showing his big folds when he probably shouldn't have seen a flop in the first place.
Seat 6: RAG with zero SAG factor.
Seat 7: RPG that plays every hand. I'm gonna get all his chips.
Seat 8: RWG
Seat 9: RYWG

Sabyl's mini me busts out when she mis-reads her hand thinking she had the nut flush draw when in actuallity she had the ole' 6 high flush draw. Oops. An bald RPG takes her seat.

The old RPG in seat 7 bluffs me off a hand with the board reading 3 4 J 9 3. I have A3KQ. He fires a pot size bet on the river, about 2500, half my stack. I can only put him on 34.

I fold showing my 3. He shows A256. Argh! I'm going to get you, you fuckwit.

AhKh7c7s vs RPG's A289 board Jh Tc 6h Qs x. Triple up to 9k

Level two is the same as level 1. Blinds at 25/25. Cool beans.

9000 at break.

2348 vs RAG's AAAT vs RPG's QcJcTs9c. Board 4c 8c Kd 6h 8s. Scoop huge 21K pot.

Annnd that's the last thing I wrote. I end up going to the final table as chip leader with 145K.

DAY 2

I'm 45 minutes late to the final table because of this:

Yeah, that's the 10 freeway in LA. But it don't matter, I win the thing beating Chris Bjorn heads up in 5 hands. He had a 2 to 1 chip lead on the first hand. Ship it!

About fucking time! I quit.

JDN

$500 HORSE LAPC

I can't believe I'm back here for more torture. I've never run this bad over so many tournaments. I might as well drink a bottle of bleach.

So I start out the day with a burrito from Poquito Mas, walk over to Hot Rod afterwards and buy a pair of Chukas, because new shoes are always lucky, and I make it from West LA to the Commerce in 20 minutes.

Those are all pretty good signs.

4000 in chips
40 minute levels
High card for the button
High card for the game... Stud 8
Autobots rollout!!!

Table 25 seat 1 (That sucks)

Seat 1: JDN (LAME!!!)
Seat 2: RPG
Seat 3: Young tight kid from the other Omaha tourney. He must not be stoned today cause he's talking to the table.
Seat 4: ROPG
Seat 5: RWG
Seat 6: ROWG that has a huge red nose that looks like a used cock.
Seat 7: RAndom Mexican Guy
Seat 8: ROWG

See these are the type of tables I'm used to. Lots of crotchey old dudes.

We start in stud 8 and early on I hit broadway on 7th street with Kings showing against two low draws. Or so I think.

I raise seat 8 and seat 6 folds his busted low draw. Seat 8 reraises me with 3s showing. I guess he's got a low straight. Prob gonna chop anyway so I just call.

He's got rolled down 6s for 6s full of 3s... It fucking never ends.

I win I nice sized pot in Omaha to get back to starting stack. I'm pretty amazed that the board didn't pair to kill mah flush.

Sweet! I get to be the bring in for 6 out of 8 hands in stud.

The dealer just tried to shuffle the cards and lost her handle of the deck, thus showering me in cards. Awesome.

I finally win a big hand when I fill up on 7th street agaist Cocknose's aces up.

4600 at break. I'm above starting stack! It pays to play like a crotchey old man.

Get off my lawn!!!

We have a r'tarded dealer who's never chopped a pot or dealt Omaha. Seat 8 is chopping pots for her.

I try to bluff the Latin guy on a Q J J 4 8 board in Omaha. I raised him on the turn representing a J and he called me down with top pair. It's good.

The very next hand I flop quad jacks, get reraises on the turn and the guy in seat 2 folds to my capped bet. Bah!

Cocknose has been all in predflop twice with 175 and 125 left in chips respectively. I also had him all in in razz with my A 2 3 4 draw vs his 8 7 5 draw. He won.

He did the same thing to the kid on seat 3. I'm changing his name to Cocknose the Cockroach.

The Mexican and Cocknose the cockroach should probably start a club. They're both morons who just seem to win through ignorance.

Cocknose the Cochroach finally busts.

Starting stack at 2nd break.

First hand back from break I have the big blind. I have TTT8 and win the hand with a straight. Sweet.

I didn't write anything after that so I have to assume I busted in some horrible fashion.

JDN

(insert funny pic here)

$500 OE (Omaha hi lo & stud 8) LAPC

I buy in a little late, bad late night burrito, so I get see who will be at my table in line.

4000 in chips
40 minute levels
Prepare for failure

Table 14 seat 5

Table draw:

Seat 1: Miami John Cernuto
Seat 2: Steve Wong
Seat 3: RWG with a Mariners hat on. I've played with him a few different times.
Seat 4: Random Black Lady
Seat 5: JDN
Seat 6: RPG
Seat 7: RWG that I've played with before. He kinda looks like Steve Young.
Seat 8: RPG

Miami gets picked up and that creepy ginger Dan Hiemiller takes his spot.

In spectacular fashion I make an 8 high flush and a 7 low in stud 8 and get scooped by Seat 8's full house and Steve Wong's 6 low.

FML.

But wait it continues...

Typical shit. When I call with the bad low I lose. When I fold the bad low I would have gotten half. Stud 8 is killing me.

Omaha... Not so bad. It's keeping me alive even though I'm down to half a starting stack.

I finally win a big hand in Omaha, but I had to call a cap bet preflop with 2c 3s Tc Qh. I turned the straight and got paid off in 2 spots.

3825 at break.

I have declared that there will be no time traveling at this table.

I miss two huge scoop draws in omaha to get back down to 2100.

At least I'm not the first one out of the tourney. 3 down so far out of 131.

Peter, the cat that looks like Steve Young, hit a diamond royal and I called him down with the low. Too bad it was 3 handed and I had the 2nd best low.

Somehow I get down to 1000, well I know how, in Stud 8. So me being me I have the 2c showing. In stud the low up card brings in. Kinda of like a blind. So I bring...

Oh fuck it. I got all in 3 handed with a huge chance to scoop but I chopped it with the chick next to me and I doubled up kinda.

3000 at break. I suck.

I bust Steve Wong when I hit a 2 outter on 7th and promptly dump those newly won chips to Steve Young Jr when I again miss my straight and low.

Table break.

Table 3 seat 1

I got 2500 and we have Steve Young Jr, Frankie O'Dell, Ozzie, and Bigfoot at the table.

Oh sweet! 1250 now!

Outsky. Tried to squeeze out low against two high hands and I was given two pair for my troubles against Steve Young's full house.



JDN

$335 Stud 8 LAPC

GG

$335 Obamaha Hi/Lo LAPC

Recovered from my barfy Saturday and my car breakdown Sunday I wait till Tuesday to get back in action. And that action is Omaha Hi / Lo aka Old Man's Torture.

It takes me 1:15 to get to the Commerce in the rain so I buy in right at the start time of 4:00pm. I get to my table and there's no dealer and no chips. And all the peeps who were around me in line, are at my table. WTF? Is this the WSOP?

Table 54 seat 7...
3000 in chips ...
40 minute levels ...
It's go time!!

ZZZZZZZZZZZ.

"I think I have a low."

"there is no low."

Table draw:

Seat 1: Random Peruvian Guy (that's a new one). I can tell cause he's got one of this funny English hats on and all he's missing is a pan flute.
Seat 2: Pau Gasol. Not the real Pau Gasol, who's on TV right now, but he looks just like him minus a foot.
Seat 3: an oldtimer named Ozzie that I used to play with at Hollywood Park years ago.
Seat 4: RWG
Seat 5: Random Persian Guy who might be the very worst Omaha player I've ever seen. He's in every pot and calls every single one down.
Seat 6: Random White Chick
Seat 7: JDN
Seat 8: Random Old White Guy. At least 70 and oddly enough the only RPWG at the table.
Seat 9: RYWG. Our own little Allen Kessler. So tight I don't know why he is even looking at the hands.

With blinds at 25/25 there's no reason to raise preflop so I just call or limp pre and see play the flops. It seems to be working for me so far as I've scooped several pots in the first two levels.

I drill Ozzie when I limp with AAxx and I fill up on turn. I slow played it, then after he filled up on the river we cap it, I scoop it, and the dealer ships it.

Yeah boy!

The guy in seat 5 is trying so hard to bust but he's chopping just enough pots to keep his head above water.

3300 at break. I had 4600 but I caught the ass end of a straight against Ozzie and I called it down like a donk.

First hand back from break I limp with 2456 rainbow, a awesome Badugi if there ever was, and I flop the wheel four handed. Checked around. I turn the 7 high straight, checked around. I finally the river and everyone folds. Blargh.

Table break!

At table 41 I know a couple peeps. Seat 4 is my golfing buddy Carol and in seat 6 is Linda Johnson.

I lose a big hand with AA68 vs KKJ7.

Mark Gergorich moves to seat 3. This table sucks.

But then it gets better. I flop a straight against Carol and she donates a bit.

I make a hero call with AAxx on a multi-way pot with the board reading J 8 6 Q Q and it's good.

I hit and open ended straight draw on the turn and scoop a nice pot from the Asian guy in seat 2.

Hey I think Suzie Issacs is in seat 1.

Hey I just busted Suzie Issacs with the nut flush.

Hey Suzie Issacs has giant knockers.

Holy shit! There's a guy hulking out at table 34! There's gonna be a fight! Looks like the floor man, not Matt Savage, wants to get involved.



It's diffused. Bah!

My friend Kung Fu calls me at 7:30 to ask if I want to go get some drinks. He knows that I started the tourney at 4. I tell him I'm still in and he says "really?"

Fuckers.

Table break!

Table 31 seat 9.

The only one I recognize here is Chris "Hey I'm Really an Ewok" Bigler. He only lasts a few hands before busting.

I got around 8K. Which is double average.

And then I'm out. Couldn't win a hand once I got moved to the new table and I was in seat 9 which is the unlucky seat.

BAH!

JDN!

$335 1 Million Guarantee LAPC

Day 3.

I drove in from Vegas last night to buy in and avoid the all too familiar alternate line.

In case if you don't know, it's monsoon season in the southwest.

And apparently is snows during monsoons too.



It was fairly uneventful save the van taking a 70 mph left turn into the center divider while coming into Barstow.

The next morning I begin my trek inland to the Commerce in another torrential downfall. Really is this LA?

I arrive at the casino at 11:55am, perfect. After a quick jaunt up to the ballroom, I see that the tourney doesn't start till 1pm.

....

Shiiiiiiiiiiite.

Fast forward 1 hour:

Table 62 seat 4
3000 in chips, 40 minute levels, blinds start at 25/25.

With blinds at 25/25 there's no fold equity preflop so I would imagine that there will be very little folding preflizzle.

Table draw:
Seat 1: RWG wearing his free Commerce shirt.
Seat 2: RYAG with a set of buck teeth that could stab your eyes out. He seems fairly new to poker.
Seat 3: ROAG who is the king of the limpers.
Seat 4: JDN
Seat 5: empty
Seat 6: RAG
Seat 7: ROWG with a cowboy hat that looks like he should have been on Bonanza.
Seat 8: Random White Chick who I played with last night in a $80 single table. My read: Agro luckbox
Seat 9: ROWG that's trying to engage everyone in conversation. Can't you see I have headphones on old man?!
Seat 10: RAG

And I'm out

Got it in with AT on a Ten high board vs the Aces of the chick that I played the night before. She busted me in that tourney too. Luckbox.

I'm out so fast that its too early for me to buy in into the tournament for the next day. I gotta kill and hour and a half. Fuck.

Might as well go see if I can win my buy in at the cash games.

In win $400 in 45 minutes at a 2/3 no limit game. I love the Commerce.

Unfortunately I work up the next morning all barfy and couldn't play. Lame.

Next for me: Omaha 8 on Tuesday.

JDN