After I finally find my seat, Matusow sits down at the table to my right and as soon as he sees me he asks for 2k. He'll pay me back tomorrow. Riiiight. So I give it to him. All the wrong people owe me money. I won't even try to list them.
Then it turns out Mike is in the wrong seat at the wrong table. I run bad. Little did I know that this would be a sign of things to come.
Table draw:
Seat 1: RWG* with a Coast Casino t-shirt on. He probably plays a lot of video poker, he probably knows Allen "The Chainsaw" Kesslar, he's probably a nit.
Seat 2: ROWG** that plays every hand. More on this piece of work later.
Seat 3: RYWG** An obvious former Marine, and later we find out a MMA fighter with a losing record, with a USMC/panther tattoo on his arm. He shows up about 30 minutes late, plays a few hands and then leaves. I don't see him again for the rest of the tournament.
Seat 4: Annoying Euro that checks his cards 5 times before he acts. He is slow to act, like he's playing no limit. Maybe he's mildly retarded and can't remember his cards. If he is "slow" his shitty attitude kills any innocent charm he might have due to his condition.
Seat 5: RYWG
Seat 6: JDN
Seat 7: RYWG from the south. He actually turns out to be a pleasent fellow and we have a few friends in common. I never get his name. I'm a bad co-table'er. Is that a word?
Seat 8: ROWG with a carnival pf poker jacket on. A real old time grinder.
Seat 9: RYWG
Seat 10: RYWG
Our dealer, the self proclaimed "Chocolate Momma," deals 5 cards to half the table. My first 4 cards are A 4 A 4. Brutal.
Someone has forgotten to turn on the AC. People are sweating. I can't win a hand. Things get worse.
I play a huge 2nd level pot with As 2s Ac Qc. Its capped 4 ways on a flop of Tc 9d 7c. Then capped 3 ways on a turn of Jc. Ok, I'm thinking to myself, don't pair the board. Whatever happens Don't! Pair! The! Board!!! The river is a Jd. Fuck me. Check check and the button bets out. Early position folds. I pay him off. He opens up T T J 7. The kid in seat 9 that was in the hand on the flop says that he had T 7.
The kid that wins says, "I can't believe I won that hand."
"I can." I respond.
I actually looked this hand up on twodimes.net and all it said was that I should have won.
I lose more chips against the dork in seat two when I reraise him preflop with A A x x. The flop was 8 3 7. The turn was an Ace. I bet out again. He calls. The river is a T. He bets out. Fuck me. I actually think about folding the set of Aces but he could have anything. I call. He opens up the ole Ad 8h 6h 9h. Jaysis! I precede to stab myself in the eye with a spork from the poker kitchen.
I go into to the first break with 450 in chips. Well at least I can bust by the 7:00pm $300 tournament.
I run into The Chainsaw at break and he tries to tell me a bad beat story. I stop him short and ask him how many chips he has.
"5000." He tells me.
"I got 450." I explain.
"... that is bad." he replies. "But let me tell you about this hand."
I walk away. I try to get some money from Layne. Drawing dead. Breaks over, cards are dealt and I'm out. Pretty sure I'm the first one out. Balls.
I decide to skip the 7pm and go home to beat my therapy dog with a flip flop.
I need a Heineken.
Therapy Dog needs a cocktail after being flogged.
JDN
* Random White Guy
** Random Older White Guy
*** Random Younger White Guy
No comments:
Post a Comment