$500 HORSE at the Venetian

I get to the Venetian around the start time of 4pm and there's a line. A line? At the Venetian? For a HORSE tournament?

Whatever. I head over to the sportsbook to collect on my awesome bet on Brett Rogers to beat Andrei Arlovski in the MMA fight last night.

So that means this tourney is a FREEROLL!!!!

Table 75 seat 8

We start with 10K in chips and 20 minutes for each game. I still don't understand why they don't change the game every 8 hands. If Harrahs and the WSOP can do it, so can the Venetian. At least I would assume so.

Table draw:

Seat 1: RWG aka Douche Bag
Seat 2: ROWG, possibly a Euro. He also has the biggest fanny pack evar! Matusow would be jealous. If he pulled his shirt over it, he would look very preggers.
Seat 3: Agro Euro that I've played with before. I think he's Italian.
Seat 4: RBG
Seat 5: RAG with an Affliction shirt on. Bordering on douchiness but I'm not going to tap the aquarium.
Seat 6: RYWG. He's pretty bad at all the games.
Seat 7: ROWG
Seat 8: J to the D to the N

I play drum tight for the first 5 levels, they're only 20 minutes long and nothing interesting happens.

I get to the first break with 11750

I decide to put on a clinic in the 2nd round of razz. I pick up 4 or 5 pots before the show down with a face showing or a pair visible. It helps that people are checking out of turn and the Asian kid pretty much tells you his hand with his facial expressions. I like my table.

I got 15K when we head into the stud level.

The douche in seat 1 opens up his hand on 7th street in stud8 before I can act. He's got 22 for a high. I have a 76 low no pair.

I check and open my hand and split the pot. Wait! Damn it! I should have bet. There's no way he could've called.

Well, he's bad enough that he might have.

14k going into the 2nd break and the Lakers are in overtime.

I chop down fanny pack guy in hold'em and he busts a few hands later.

Agro Euro busts at the beginning of Omaha. They're probably the first two out of the tourney.

Fucking Omaha! In a massive 4 way pot I lose 3500 with 3s full of 4s vs 3s full of 5s. Two other donks were playing nut lows. I thought I was taking half the pot and even when the cards were turned over I still thought I was getting half because the Affliction Asian said he had a 7 high straight. Then he saw his full house. Bah.

Down to 11K.

Here comes razz!

Ok... I'm either the wrostest or the bestest razz player. I personally think I'm reading the other players hands really well and making great bets.

I win two big pots when I'm the bring with a 9, and with the Ks. Got paid off the whole way with Ks hand when I make a 7 5 4 2 A low.

I know it sounds like a bad play, but believe me. It played it perfect.

Up to 15500.

The numbers are in! 230 players, 34K for 1st place. That would be nice.

16600 at break. I think the payouts are wrong. It's paying out 18 spots for an 8 handed tourney. That's probably wrong. I'm gonna start some shit.

Look like that's the way they pay out. Couldn't get in a TDA fight. Damn.

Cyndy Violette, Roy Winston, and Hollywood Douche (Dave), sightings on break. Times are tough.

I get a little frisky in the hold'em level and fire 4 bullets with A high and a gutter ball. The Afflicted Asian finally called thinking he was losing. Awesome.

Omaha sucks. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

Frankie O'Dell moves to our table. Lovely.

9400 at dinner break.

I see an awesome hooker on hooker fight in front of the Venetian. I got a burrito in hand and I'm just waiting fir the titties to start flying.

They never make an appearance but the quote of the fight was, "Lemme catch my breath. I smoke."

I love las vegas sometimes.

On the 2nd hand of razz I have an ace showing with a 3 5 in the hole. I complete and Frankie raises with a 5 showing. The Afflicted Asian calls with a 5 showing, and someone else calls.

On 4th street Frankie catches a 9, the Asian gets a Ten, other guy gets a Q and I get a 6. Sweet. I'm first to act and I bet out. Frankie raises. What? The Asian with the T calls. Wait!

Other guy folds and I ask the dealer if we're playing razz. He says yes and I raise. Don't you worry. It gets capped 3 ways.

On 5th street Frankie gets a K, the Asian hits a J and I have a K. I bet. Call call.

Morons. I'm drawing to a 6 while they're drawing to a 9 and a ten.

6th street pairs Frankie's K, pairs the Asian's J and pairs my 6. I'm still way ahead. I bet.

Call call. I have 700 left and I put it in blind before the I get dealt 7th street.

Frankie calls and so does the Asian. WHAT THE FUCK!? Really?

I squeeze my and hand I see that I pick up the last K in the deck to get a pair of sixes for a low. Frankie flips over his 98 low like its the nuts and it is. The Asian drew a 10 7 low.

I stand up and tell Frankie to be really proud of that hand. Fucking morons.

I've never been so mad after a hand as I was after that one. I really don't have the words for it.

So I take all the money in my pocket to the blackjack table and try to lose it all.

Some how I make money and end up for the day. I'm still steaming though.

$3K WSOP HORSE is up next for me.

JDN