Wow. I feel like I'm already a winner.
Table 53 seat 5. 15,000 in starting chips (well 14,450 for me since I arrived a little late) and 40 minute levels.
I officially have the slowest most boringest table evar! Here's how my day has gone so far: fold fold fold fold fold fold fold call check fold fold fold fold fold fold fold fold fold.
Awesome.
12K at first break.
Table draw:
Seat 1: RWG with a blue PSP. He looks too old to have one
Seat 2: A woman. Not hot. Possibly a midget. Oops. Confirmed busto.
Seat 3: RBG who can't handle his chips and he's already mistakenly raised a couple of hands preflop when he was trying to call.
Seat 4: A woman. Asian. Also a dealer and not not hot.
Seat 5: JDN
Seat 6: RAG
Seat 7: RWG with a WSOP hoodie.
Seat 8: ROWG, a long time grinder that I've seen around a bunch. No clue as to his name.
Seat 9: RAG
Seat 10: RWG, super aggro with continuation bets and reraising.
PSP guy is wearing a Rio All Suite Hotel shirt that says, "Paradise Found." I wonder if he's ever actually be to the Rio.
I get it all in with AK on a A K 4 board against seat 10. He shows AK. Chop chop. That's most action I've seen all day.
The PSP guy makes is 550 to go in the 100/200 25 ante level and he gets called in 4 spots including me.
The flop falls T 8 6. The not not hot Asian dealer bets out 1300 and I call. Everyone else folds.
The turn is a 9. She bets 3600. I call.
The river is a 7. Hey! Thats a straight on the board. She thinks about it for a moment before checking. Hmmmm. I wonder what the amount is that she would fold to and I wonder how much she would call.
I bet 6000. I'm pretty sure she would fold to an all in. She's got about 9K behind her.
After a bit she makes the crying call. I show JJ and take down the pot with a J high strizzle.
Up to 28K.
A few hands later I bust her with QQ and get my stack up to 33K.
Right around 32K at second break. Haven't really had any strong hands and I've been manufacturing all of my pots.
First hand back the PSP guy raises it up to 2300. The RWG to my right moves all in and the guy on my left that looks like a mini Layoto Machida moves all in too. Then the dealer mucks his cards.
Wait! What?
The floor is called over and the decision is made to take 2300 out of his stack, give him the rest of the chips back and lecture him on protecting his hand.
It saved him money. Both of the other players flopped sets and rivered full houses.
I look down at 22 and raise it up to 2100 in late position and get called by the old timey grinder from the small blind.
The flop is HOLY SHIT! A girl just sat down in seat 1 with giant boobies. Motorboat!
Ok where was I? I can't remember what I was writing about.
Anywoo I fired two bullets with 22 on a board of A 6 7 K to take down a nice pot.
40300 at color up. The girl with big boobies is cold.
Well level 8 sucked moosecock bro. I lost 6000 with TT and a few hands later I lost 8500 with 88. I wish my nickname was the man with no sets or the man with no nuts.
The big titty committee can't remember to put her antes out. Damn annoying. Then she busts. Ding!
I would say that 60% of the time my first card is a K. 100% of the time the second card does not complement the King.
772 total players for this tourney. 74 pay and $101,000 for first.
42,900 at 3rd break. Right about average with 260 players left.
Annnnd we're on dinner break.
Apparently someone at another table disagreed with a ruling that one way or the other caused him to bust out. So this gentleman decided the best course of action was to dump everyone's chips into the middle of the table.
As you can imagine chaos erupted and security was called. The guy tried to make a getaway but the poker room manager, Kathy Raymond, caught him in the parking lot.
So the TDs called an early dinner so that they could check the cameras and figure out who's chips are who's.
Awesome. Chipotle here I come.
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Watched the ping pong championships at dinner.
Entering burrito coma post dinner break.
Levels 10 & 11 go as follows: fold fold fold fold fold fold fold think about it... fold fold fold fold fold fold
Then I look down at JJ in middle position. Ok I have 25,600. I got abot 13 big blinds. Do I raise to 6K or just stick it in?
That's what she said.
I stick it in.
That's what she said.
I get called by the big blind who just happens to be my new British friend Ramsey, with AK.
He blanks out and I double to 53K.
An orbit later I flop my first set and check raise the RBG in seat 2 to snatch 20K off of him.
I'm up to 72K which is a just hair below average.
I stopped writing at this pot and I will now post responses to my tweets.
# 1
Rocking my moose cock off to Preistess and it seems to be working. Flopped first of the day. 73K with 140 players 73 pay.
Umm yeah, pretty much already talked about this. I don't really have a moose cock, its more of a mouse cock.
# 2
68K at break. A bit below average. Waiting for that rush to hit. Maybe I'll order a heineken.
I did order a Heine and I won $10 playing video poker. I promised myself not to play video poker but I have a hard time keeping to my personal promises.
# 3
47500 going into the 2k/4k level. About 90 left 73 pay. Why do I get myself in these situations? Need to cash so I can shave.
I made a bet with myself not to shave or get a hair cut until I cash. Let's just say that the GF is not a fan of this.
# 4
On the money bubble. I have 12 chips for exactly 36K. Average is 160k. Short stack ninja or fold machine?
LA Mike told me to shove every hand and Robin, Perry's GF told me to fold every hand. Not a fan of either of those options.
# 5
Just saw half a nipple on a giant boobie while walking back from the can. That's good luck right? Still on the bubble.
It was a giant boobie and I saw the part around the nozzle. Whats that called?
# 6
It was a lucky nipple! And the monkey is off my back. I can shave! And I won $73. WTF?
Pretty sure I'm gonna start asking to see nipples when I get near the money. It probably would have got me to the money in the 5K PLO8.
# 7
Busto. 66 vs KK. Both hit sets. Don't know what place or how much I'm getting but at least I cam shave now.
So I end up getting AK twice after we redraw with 72 left. I get up to 78K, a high for the day, before I move in with 66 from middle position. I rivered a set but the other guy turned his set.
Oh well. I got 52nd and $894. It was my first cash since February... holy fuck thats bad, but I think I played awesome.
I never had AA or KK and got every chip I could with the shit hands I had. This is a good sign.
JDN
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