$500 Venetian Deep Stack

Since the WSOP sold out today I decided to play the Venetian. I get down here around 1 and surprisingly, I'm not an alternate.

Wow. I feel like I'm already a winner.

Table 53 seat 5. 15,000 in starting chips (well 14,450 for me since I arrived a little late) and 40 minute levels.

I officially have the slowest most boringest table evar! Here's how my day has gone so far: fold fold fold fold fold fold fold call check fold fold fold fold fold fold fold fold fold.

Awesome.

12K at first break.

Table draw:

Seat 1: RWG with a blue PSP. He looks too old to have one
Seat 2: A woman. Not hot. Possibly a midget. Oops. Confirmed busto.
Seat 3: RBG who can't handle his chips and he's already mistakenly raised a couple of hands preflop when he was trying to call.
Seat 4: A woman. Asian. Also a dealer and not not hot.
Seat 5: JDN
Seat 6: RAG
Seat 7: RWG with a WSOP hoodie.
Seat 8: ROWG, a long time grinder that I've seen around a bunch. No clue as to his name.
Seat 9: RAG
Seat 10: RWG, super aggro with continuation bets and reraising.

PSP guy is wearing a Rio All Suite Hotel shirt that says, "Paradise Found." I wonder if he's ever actually be to the Rio.

I get it all in with AK on a A K 4 board against seat 10. He shows AK. Chop chop. That's most action I've seen all day.

The PSP guy makes is 550 to go in the 100/200 25 ante level and he gets called in 4 spots including me.

The flop falls T 8 6. The not not hot Asian dealer bets out 1300 and I call. Everyone else folds.

The turn is a 9. She bets 3600. I call.

The river is a 7. Hey! Thats a straight on the board. She thinks about it for a moment before checking. Hmmmm. I wonder what the amount is that she would fold to and I wonder how much she would call.

I bet 6000. I'm pretty sure she would fold to an all in. She's got about 9K behind her.

After a bit she makes the crying call. I show JJ and take down the pot with a J high strizzle.

Up to 28K.

A few hands later I bust her with QQ and get my stack up to 33K.

Right around 32K at second break. Haven't really had any strong hands and I've been manufacturing all of my pots.

First hand back the PSP guy raises it up to 2300. The RWG to my right moves all in and the guy on my left that looks like a mini Layoto Machida moves all in too. Then the dealer mucks his cards.

Wait! What?

The floor is called over and the decision is made to take 2300 out of his stack, give him the rest of the chips back and lecture him on protecting his hand.

It saved him money. Both of the other players flopped sets and rivered full houses.

I look down at 22 and raise it up to 2100 in late position and get called by the old timey grinder from the small blind.

The flop is HOLY SHIT! A girl just sat down in seat 1 with giant boobies. Motorboat!

Ok where was I? I can't remember what I was writing about.

Anywoo I fired two bullets with 22 on a board of A 6 7 K to take down a nice pot.

40300 at color up. The girl with big boobies is cold.

Well level 8 sucked moosecock bro. I lost 6000 with TT and a few hands later I lost 8500 with 88. I wish my nickname was the man with no sets or the man with no nuts.

The big titty committee can't remember to put her antes out. Damn annoying. Then she busts. Ding!

I would say that 60% of the time my first card is a K. 100% of the time the second card does not complement the King.

772 total players for this tourney. 74 pay and $101,000 for first.

42,900 at 3rd break. Right about average with 260 players left.

Annnnd we're on dinner break.

Apparently someone at another table disagreed with a ruling that one way or the other caused him to bust out. So this gentleman decided the best course of action was to dump everyone's chips into the middle of the table.

As you can imagine chaos erupted and security was called. The guy tried to make a getaway but the poker room manager, Kathy Raymond, caught him in the parking lot.

So the TDs called an early dinner so that they could check the cameras and figure out who's chips are who's.

Awesome. Chipotle here I come.

Watched the ping pong championships at dinner.

Entering burrito coma post dinner break.

Levels 10 & 11 go as follows: fold fold fold fold fold fold fold think about it... fold fold fold fold fold fold

Then I look down at JJ in middle position. Ok I have 25,600. I got abot 13 big blinds. Do I raise to 6K or just stick it in?

That's what she said.

I stick it in.

That's what she said.

I get called by the big blind who just happens to be my new British friend Ramsey, with AK.

He blanks out and I double to 53K.

An orbit later I flop my first set and check raise the RBG in seat 2 to snatch 20K off of him.

I'm up to 72K which is a just hair below average.

I stopped writing at this pot and I will now post responses to my tweets.

# 1
Rocking my moose cock off to Preistess and it seems to be working. Flopped first of the day. 73K with 140 players 73 pay.

Umm yeah, pretty much already talked about this. I don't really have a moose cock, its more of a mouse cock.

# 2
68K at break. A bit below average. Waiting for that rush to hit. Maybe I'll order a heineken.

I did order a Heine and I won $10 playing video poker. I promised myself not to play video poker but I have a hard time keeping to my personal promises.

# 3
47500 going into the 2k/4k level. About 90 left 73 pay. Why do I get myself in these situations? Need to cash so I can shave.

I made a bet with myself not to shave or get a hair cut until I cash. Let's just say that the GF is not a fan of this.

# 4
On the money bubble. I have 12 chips for exactly 36K. Average is 160k. Short stack ninja or fold machine?

LA Mike told me to shove every hand and Robin, Perry's GF told me to fold every hand. Not a fan of either of those options.

# 5
Just saw half a nipple on a giant boobie while walking back from the can. That's good luck right? Still on the bubble.

It was a giant boobie and I saw the part around the nozzle. Whats that called?

# 6
It was a lucky nipple! And the monkey is off my back. I can shave! And I won $73. WTF?

Pretty sure I'm gonna start asking to see nipples when I get near the money. It probably would have got me to the money in the 5K PLO8.

# 7
Busto. 66 vs KK. Both hit sets. Don't know what place or how much I'm getting but at least I cam shave now.

So I end up getting AK twice after we redraw with 72 left. I get up to 78K, a high for the day, before I move in with 66 from middle position. I rivered a set but the other guy turned his set.

Oh well. I got 52nd and $894. It was my first cash since February... holy fuck thats bad, but I think I played awesome.

I never had AA or KK and got every chip I could with the shit hands I had. This is a good sign.

JDN

$300 Venetian Deep Stack

Pretty sure last time I played a tourney here I won it. That was back in feb, it was an Omaha tourney, and Jeremiah Smith was almost killed by a falling ceiling tile at the mirage. Ahhh good times.

Table 43 seat 1

When I get to the table the dealer isn't dealing in the absent stacks. Whoa buddy. I tell him that he needs to deal them in and he tries to protest before I shut him down. Of course the rest of the table, who have let him do this for a couple of hands, chime in at this point and back me up. Whatta bunch of donks. He goes on to misdeal the 2nd hand of the tournament 3 times before getting it right.

I like this table.

Table draw!!!

Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: rwg
Seat 3: rwg
Seat 4: crazy old guy with a deep stack hat. Obv a fan of the Venetian
Seat 5: empty
Seat 6: young white guy that looks like Isaac Haxton on roids.
Seat 7: creepy older guy wearing no less than 15 necklaces, 10 bracletes, a dangley earring, lots of turquoise, and a "it's all good" hat. He also can't remember the blinds and basically shows everyone on his side of the table his cards when he looks at them.
Seat 8: young Asian kid wearing a hat, sunglasses and giant headphones. He has to pull his glasses down to look at his cards and pull his headphones back to hear the raises and calls. It's like playing with Hellen Keller.
Seat 9: empty
Seat 10: mr agressive. definaitely an Internet player.

A rpg sits down in seat 5 and seat 3 reveals himself to be a Canadian. Sly devil.

Seat 9 sneaks in and to everyone surprise, he's a random white guy with brown hair and glasses.

Not much happens in the first two levels. I win two decent pots and lose 1500 with JsJc on a Qd Td 9d flop. Somehow I see the river and call 1k bet from creepy turquoise guy. My read was right, he had 1 diamond but I forgot to factor in the turn and river. A 5 and another 5. He shows the 8d and 5s to take down the pot.

I think I have a recockulous tell on mr agressive. I need to see a couple more hands from him to validate my read.

Creepy turquoise guy doubles through the Canadian in probably one of the worst plays i've ever seen from two players. Needless to say turquoise guy check raises the flop with 2 pair and the Canadian calls with AJ. The turn is the Ac which puts 3 clubs on board and turquoise guy can't get his chips in fast enough. The Canadian calls and I'm quite confused. The 2 pair improve to a full house on the river after the Canadian asks for the board to pair. WTF?

I love my table.

We get a new seat 8 after the deaf, dumb, and blind Asian kid donates his chips to seat 9. I can't tell if seat 8 is a guy or a gal. The frame is def female but his/hers/it's voice is very male. It kinda looks like this lesbian chick I went to high school with. Weird.

12,275 at break. I was completely card dead for levels 2 and 3. But I don't need to push it. The game will come to me. I'm zen. Thanks to 3 very spicy bloodly marys.

Sometimes I get bored and decide to play hands that I shouldn't. Well, I think it would've worked against any other player accept mr agressive. I'm in the small blind and it folded to him on the button and he makes it 600. I had decided to reraise him with anything before the hand is even dealt.

So I looked down at T7 off and reraise him to 1700. He calls pretty quickly and I bet out 2500 on a flop of A 3 J. He calls. Crap. What are the chances he's got an ace? I mean really? The turn is an 8. I got outs. Snap. I bet 3500. He calls. Fucker.

This is the first hand I have played in two levels. Does he think I'm joking? (even though I am). I'm begging for a 9 on the river but it's a jack. Damn. I actually think about pushing my last 6k in. He should be good enough to lay his A6 or whatever down if I shove. Then there's always the off chance he's got a jack.

I'm done with this hand. Hopefully he bets so I don't have to show my embrassassing hand. He checks and shows A9. Thank you kind sir. I muck and pick up some more information on this goofball.

I steam call the next hand with Th 7h. I win the 3 way pot with a board of 8s 7s 3s 3d Ah. Back up to 9K.

The crazy turquoise guy is telling the table about the time he died in a motorcycle accident.

Isaac Haxton on roids just busted creepy turquoise guy with a two-outter on the river. I giggled.

I'm a rollercoaster. At my lowest I was a 4k. Then I worked it up to 25k. Now I'm at 5500.

I lost 40k pot towards the end of the level. Mr agressive raises to 1800 with blinds at 300/600. I call with jacks expecting to be playing the goofball heads up but the guy on the button decides to be a pain and calls. The flop is 3s 8s 9c. I bet out 2500 after the goofball checks and the but just calls. Flush draw? Prob. The turn is a Th. I bet 6K and the diggleberry on the button moves in. I don't give it much thought because I have an open ender now too. So I snap call. He shows T9. Ok I need a 7, Q, or a jack. Thats a lot of outs. Right?

The river is the 7s. Snap ship it. I look back at his hand to double check and low and behold he's got the Ts 9s. Damn it all to hell! Fuck shit!

This knocks me down to 6100.

I fold to the break and go into the 400/800 75 ante level with 5500. I'm under the gun when I get back. Gonna be sticking it in with just about any playable hand.

First hand back I look at Js Ts and let it rip. Its folded around to the goofball who quickly calls with a pair of 8's. With an 8 on the flop I'm drawing thin. The turn and river blank out and I bounce out the front door.

This is getting really brutal. Last I counted I have two cashes since starting this blog. One was a win, which is nice, and the other was in the BARGE main event which is like cashing... well, cashing the BARGE main event. LA Mike on the other hand is 1 for 1 and making me look bad.

To be fair I am playing some tournaments right. I've satellited into all of the big tournaments, even the WSOPE main event. It just doesn't seem like I'm getting any result other fail and sat wins and that is something that needs to change. Next week I'll heading to beautiful Lake Tahoe to play the WSOPC prelims. I'm really going to change my game for these events and just start firing. This playing tight BS is really getting on my damn nerves.

Hopefully we'll get some more post from the LA Mike soon. He can bring some hope to this depressing recount of my poker failings that pokerwtf has become.

JDN