LAPC $1K HORSE

I get to the Commerce Casino in about 30 minutes from Venice which is a great sign. I'm running good already, I beat the LA traffic game.

The other tilter about the Commerce is that if you bust between 3pm and 7pm you get stuck in traffic heading home. Bust out time becomes a real issue here.

I run into Scott Clements and Brian Devonshire shortly before the tournament and get roped into a 30 person last longer. Actually I was the fifth one in and at that time there was only the aforementioned Scott, Devo, Jimmy Fricke (I LOL'd and sent out a couple texts), and some kid with a lol donkaments shirt on. Nerd alert.

Since then it's ballooned to about 30 players and includes the likes of Miami John, Jerry Buss, Maria Ho, Raymond Davis, Mark Gregorich, and assorted other Internet nerds that I don't know.

It's definitely the biggest last longer I've ever been a part of. I also got Devo to promise to manage the list even if he busts.

Table 10 seat 6

Table draw:
Seat 1: rwg
Seat 2: Tyler Patterson, a Canadian
Seat 3: Dr Jerry Buss, who looks exactly like the guy that owns of the Lakers.
Seat 4: a younger skinny white guy that I've played with in vegas and couple of occasions.
Seat 5: rwg with lovely knit sweater on.
Seat 6: JDN
Seat 7: a guy the looks like the actor Luis Guzman but talks like he's from the valley.
Seat 8: don't his real name but his online name is cardsharpsnet. He's a dirty hippy too. He's wearing a grateful dead shirt.

The last longer is up to about 35 players. That's a fifth of the field.

I make myself look like a noob in stud 8, when after 7th street in a big multiway pot I announce my hand as a wheel with 3s up. D'oh!

I didn't even have 3s up. I had 4s up. So poor. A few people have a laugh but I'm the one scooping the big 3k pot. Biacthes!

And Devo is out. First one in the tournament.

I gotta give some kudos to TD Matt Savage. Awesome structure! We start with 5K and blinds start at 50/100. Levels are an hour long and the game changes every 8 hands.

There's no 3 levels of fluff. Every hand counts. Well done sir! I hope the WSOP is listening. But I bet they're not.

And you know they're not listen to the community because this year the lifestyles show is called pokerpalooza. Really? Genius.

$5850 at break. Down from 8K cause I got a little frisky in Omaha.

About half the people at the table are riding Jerry's nuts. I saw this happen at the last LAPC main event when we were at the same table on day 2. He doesn't seem to mind but it bugs me. One of them will be saying this later:



Jerry can't remember the blinds to save his life. It's soooo cute when he acts all confused.

Official count is 212 players which beats my guesstimation.

I'm running so bad in limit omaha. I'm thinking about just sitting out of the game and going to take a dump. It would be more productive than this.

In a hand with Tyler the flop falls K Q T rainbow. I have AAJ9. I flop the nuts as I check call Tyler's bet the turns peels off another T. My nuts go right out the window. I check call again as the river puts a flush out there. I check call again and he shows AsJs. Pfffffft.

I win half a multiway stud 8 pot with AQ high. Sweet!

I get involved in a big stud 8 with Tyler and cardsharps in the final hand of the round. It's bet every round and I hit a wheel on 7th to scoop. I should just be playing stud 8 and going to lunch during all the other games.

And now I've seen everything. In Omaha (of course) seat 5 bets the flop, turn and river with A high and gets called by top pair.

I'm changing the name of it to Omahhhhfuckitha.

$5325 at 2nd break. Treading water. My speciality.

I get blinded down 3300 before I pick up split kings in stud 8. See? I should just be playing stud 8. It's the only thing keeping me alive.

Anyway... I'm up against split aces for seat 5 and split queens for seat 7. I call the aces down till I get Kings up on 6th and put him all in. It holds up and I collect his stack to get back up to 5500.

Tony Ma sits down in seat 5 and some balding little guy with a really bad mohawk, it looks like a comma on his forehead, takes seat 8.

The idiot in seat 1 is winning every hand he plays. It's so gross. I just keep telling myself, "be patient motherfucker!".

The blinds are now at 300/600 and peeps are dropping like flies. I have 3700. Patience!!!

That random guy who final tabled the 50K last year gets moved to seat 8 after horrible Mohawk guy bust by playing a razz hand horribly.

Down to 1900 on the 3rd hand of stud 8 (see?) I get it all in vs the idiot in seat 1 with 8s and 6s against his queens and flush draw. I don't have to sweat it cause an 8 pops out next and I more than double to 5000. Starting stack!!!

In the last hand before dinner break Jerry Buss beats me out of a hand that I would gotten half of. Course he got scooped by the idiot in seat 1.

$3800 at dinner break.

In the 400/800 hold'em level I have to bluff off my whole stack to pick up a pot against Luis Guzman. But as it turns out, my 8 high was good. 4300.

Oh Luis!

Haha. Jerry Buss still uses a RAZR phone.

After the Canadian busts, Scott Clements takes his seat. Great. He's an Omaha specialist, two bracelets! But he's super short.

I fold every hand in the Omaha round. I don't know if that's good or bad.

Seat 1 idiot and Scott bust out in the same razz hand to Luis Guzman. Miami John takes seat 1. And he has chips. Lovely.

Fuck razz. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

Seat 1 busts. Donk. Of course I didn't get any of his chips. Those all went to Tony Ma.

I'm in life support during stud. Down to 1700 at one point. I. Just. Need. To. Make. It. To. Stud. 8.

So I do make it to stud 8. 80 people left in the tournament and I never had more than 8000 chips. Lovely. I look down at 2s 4s in the hole and a 3s showing. Let's get this shit moving. It's a 4 way pot with Tony Ma, Luis Guzman, and the kid. My 4th street card is the 4c. I don't really like that but I'm moving in on this.

For some reason its checked around. 5th street is a Ks and I get it all in. Luis calls as does the kid. I pick up a 6d on 6th street and it looks like I'm in a good spot to scoop the main pot.

On 7th Luis bets out and the kid calls with trip 7s. Luis has an ace high heart flush. Ok. I can scoop with the ace of spades or get half with a low card. Time to squeeze. I shuffle up the down cards. 4s. Ok I already knew I had that. Red ten. Fuck. I throw down my cards and walk out.



JDN

The Bike $1K

Of course I'm 20 min late driving in from Marina del rey. The 105 can be a bitch. To top off the traffic nicely I can't buy into the tourney because I don't have a bike card.

I walk back to the welcome desk to stand in line and wait for the extremely inefficient process to widdle it's way down to me. Hopefully that will happen before the registration period ends.

Hey! Max "The Italian "arrrrr" Pirate" Pescatori is in line too. I ask him how the parrot is doing and how the war on ninjas is progressing before I reach the counter and the prison admission like process that follows.

Like some kind of reverse gym (where I sit on my ass and drink beer), they take my picture and print it on a card. If feel like I'm getting my mug shot taken and it would have been nice to know that the anti red eye feature was on the camera.

""it's kinda weird..." the lady behind the counter tells me. "all the better."

Braaaaaaains

Table 30 Seat 5

Table draw:
Seat 1: older white guy that I know but can't remember his name
Seat 2: Tony Ma (I was pretty much guaranteed to be at a table with him at some point in this tourney.)
Seat 3: rwg
Seat 4: Max "The Italian "arrrrr" Pirate" Pescatori
Seat 5: jdn
Seat 6: rpg
Seat 7: table break!

Table 10 seat 2

As I get to my table there's a 3 way all in on a 5 3 2 board. Two clubs. Seat 9 opens up jacks, seat 4 shows tens and seat 7 has of all things sevens.

I'm in love with this table already.

Table draw part 2
Seat 1: rwg
Seat 2: jdn
Seat 3: empty
Seat 4: rwg
Seat 5: rowg
Seat 6: rowg
Seat 7: rpg
Seat 9: rwg
Seat 10: crazy lady

I really really love this table. Crazy lady gives me 2k when she fires two bullets, on the turn and river no less, on a 9 2 9 8 6 board. She mucks when I call the 1500 river bet with A8.

A few hands later she ships me 5k when I call her down with AK vs her AQ.

I'm thinking proposing to this table. 14K at first break.

Some where behind me Maria Ho is giving her table an extended 4 hand long lesson in poker manners.

I bust seat 6 when I wake up with KK in the big blind that completely dominates his puny QQ. Haha sucka.

Turns out Seat 1 is from Tunica, Miss. (aka America's asshole) and he's having problems handling his chips. He also doesn't protect his hands. Well neither is half the table. Man I miss playing in LA.

Something smells like feet.

Tunica Boy is wearing flip flops and I'm very pleased when he busts as the rank foot smell follows him out.

22K at 2nd break.

5k. Fuck. This guy sits down in seat 7 that kinds looks like Siad 25 years after he got off the island. He's got a pompus English accent too. It might be fake. Anyway, we play a couple of hands. I win both, one with a set of aces, so I'm not really going at him.

I raise UTG with 33 and he calls in late position. The flop falls A 3 8. I check, he checks. The turn is a 9. I check again and he bets out 1200. I raise to 4200. He takes forever and makes this crying call as the river falls a J putting a possible flush on the board. I check with the intent of flat calling anything. He shoves for 12K more. I guess I call.

He shows the ole' QT off for a straight. Lovely. But I still love this table.

Not long after I flop a set of Jacks against his Kings and get four flushed on the river.

15 min later I'm stuck in traffic on the 105. I love LA.

JDN