"Come Down stairs. We're leaving in 15 min." He says. "... ok." I reply.
I get up. My head is pounding. I change the underroos but put on the same clothes from yesterday. No time for a shower. We're leaving in 15 minutes. We're the fuck are we going?
I stumble down stairs and meet up with Gavin, Bobo, Cowboy Kenna James, Lacey, and Devo. Where are we going?
I climb into the back of Gav's Escalade with Devo as Kenna drives and Lacey rides shotgun. Gavin and Bobo jump on their bikes and follow us. WTF?
"Devo!? Where are we going?" I ask. "Whistler." He replies.
Fuck. Thats not close. I'll take a nap.
About a half an hour into the ride I try to lay down in the back of the truck to get some real sleep. That lasts for all of 10 minutes before something in mah tummy starts to turn. I might vomit. Its an odd sensation for someone like me. I don't puke very often. Its probably been 5 years since my last hurl and its never because I drank too much. Usually its bad fish or sour cream that will make me toss my cookies.
I get back in my seat and roll down the window. This is really going to happen. Fuck. Its a child safe window and it only rolls half way down. I gotta turn my head sideways to get it out of the window. I see Gavin and Bobo behind us and I smile at them. Dry heave #1. After the 3rd one I let it rip. Baaarf!
Going 100 KPH and puking is an interesting experience. A first for me. The vomit basically sides down the side of the car and then kinda splash off the back end.
In between upchucks I look back at the guys on the bikes. Gavin is just shaking his head and Bobo is laughing his ass off. Probably not a good idea to being laughing while driving a motorcycle at 60 MPH.
Baaarf!
One of the onions that I ate last night makes an encore and sticks to the outside handle of the Escalade. That was good. I didn't want to lose that. Dang.
Once done with my evacuation, I roll the window back up and return to my seat. Lacey asks, "Are you ok?"
"I am now. Let's eat!" Yum!
After lunch we made our way up to Whistler and settled into a local pub that had the absolute worst food evar! I know that we had just had lunch but we needed more. The pizza was shit and according to Kenna the chicken wings were the driest thing he's ever put in his mouth...
Kenna also introduced us to his speech impediment. For whatever reason he liked to repeat words twice. It was like watching that old fast food commercial, "Double double cheese cheese burger burger please please."
He also couldn't say Devo's complete name in one breath. It was always, "Brian Devon... wait for it... shire." Or "Brian Devon of the Shire." Hobbit loving mofo.
Beer + hot sauce = goot!
Lacey earned the new nickname Hazey Jones for several responses of, "What? Why? Who?"
A bet was made on the breed of a dog sitting on the other side of the pub. Gavin deemed it to be a purebred and I called bullshit. $200 bet and Gavin was walking over to the owners. The dog stood up as he approached and I was praying for the dog to attack.
Gavin returned to the table and asked, "What's the defination of a mutt?"
"That dog over there." I responed. The dog was mix between a collie, a timber wolf, and a grey wolf. Who the hell put all those dogs together in the same pen? That's like a killer Lassie.
So wiki'ed the word mutt for further clarification and interestingly enough we stumbled upon the word "Mutta" which is swedish slang for vagina. And its on!
Poor Hazey... if she only knew what she was in for. Hazey, how's your mutta? How do you groom your mutta? Hazey, who's your mutta? Its a joke that didn't stop being funny for the entire trip. It got us in some trouble more than once and we pretty much asked every woman the question, "How's your mutta?" Juvenile at best but still damn funny.
Pic stolen from devopoker.com. Notice I'm wearing the same clothes.
On our way back to Vancouver Devo went into full hippy mode. Talking about how beautiful everything was. How it was so amazing that we saw a bobcat (ok bobcats are cool) and deer in the last few minutes. How he wanted to hike through the mountains. How I wanted to shoot him if he said one more thing was beautiful. Bah! Get me back to civilization and concrete. I need the internet. Connectivitly is a beautiful thing. There's trees all over the place. Hippy.
OK. Its kinda neat to look at. Gavin, Bobo and Kenna view the view. I'm considering pushing one of them over the edge.
Tomorrow is the $1k bounty tournament. My goal is to last past the 3rd level.
JDN
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