2.27.2009
Chris Bell quiting poker?
I just caught an episode of this season's Hell's Kitchen and it looks like Chris... Bell has decided to quit poker for a culinary profession.
Caesars 1K Final Table
I walk in as they're dealing the first hand. I blame the gf's driving skills for the delay.
Apparently I miss counted my chips and I only have 338,000 and not 388,000. Stupid Heinenkens. Oh well, let's get it going.
I don't know what table this is but I'm in seat 4.
Table draw:
Seat 1: that bad skin guy that cracked my set on day one.
Seat 2: mr 3 bets. One of this Internet nerds.
Seat 3: Tracy Nguyen, pearljammers gf
Seat 4: JDN
Seat 5: Internet nerd with bad teeth bad gums and bad hair, and no it's not Dr Pauly.
Seat 6: big dude. Really big dude.
Seat 7: rwg, a Ginger
Seat 8: rwg
Seat 9: that Mexican guy from the wsop or the human rain delay as Jeremiah calls him
Seat 10: Swedish kid
Well, I get a walk in my first big blind, which is nice. Then all the other short stacks double up with KK, KK, and QQ. The best hand I've seen is A4 off.
After 40 minutes of play we take a break. 325K. I pretty sure I had 388K to start with. I only won one hand and I still have 325K. Dealers are smoking crack.
I order a heineken and I win 2 straight hands. Up to 450K. Heineken, it's magical!
Order another heineken, win another pot. 600K.
Tracy bust the big guy with TT vs A9 and we're finally down to 9. The real final table.
In the 15K/30K level I raise from early position with 22. The Ginger in seat 6 flat call with 245K behind. Alert Will Robinson!
The flop falls 2 4 T. I check, he checks. The turn is a 7. I check again. He puts in his stack and I call. He shows AA.
Blank on the river and I rake the pot.
I'm up over 1 meeeeeeellion in chips for one hand before I pay the blinds.
Ugly Internet guy busted by clueless bad skin guy when he over shoves with AQ and goes out in 8th place. Down to 7.
Just shy of 1 million when we go on break.
Mr 3 Bets busts the rwg and we're down to 6.
Tracy puts me to the test when she moves in from the small blind for 560K with blinds at 20K/40K. I look down at 33.
Gawd! Ok. I think it through. I know she probably has an ace and a over. It's a bit of a over shove but that's not too important. I'm sure I'm racing but, do I wanna be in a race for 70% of my chips?
I finally decide to fold face up. A couple of hands later I ask her if she had A7. She says "something like that." Ding! I'm right.
Good fold by me.
Few orbits later its folded to the clueless bad skin guy in the small blind, he raises it up and the Mr 3 Bets calls. The flop comes Q J 6. Bet call. The turn is a 4. Check check. The river is another 4. I look at clueless guy and see him mouth the word "damn" and smile. 3 Bets isn't even looking at him. I wanna slap him and tell just to look to you right. He doesn't. Clueless guy slowly bets out 500k. Look at him!!! Mr 3 Bets calls and clueless guy shows Q4. C'mon internet kid, look at the people you're playing with.
After raking the pot he tries to give knucks to 3 Bets and gets denied. Listen guy, don't try to buddy up with people you just crippled.
At this point I begging to get heads up with this guy. I could get all his chips with preflop mini raises.
Clueless guy starts stacking the chips from the 2 million chip pot and when he looks down at then next hand, he limps. He's limping in a 6 handed final table. First one of the day. I instantly put him on a pair. Tens minimum.
Its folded to me in the small blind and I look down at 45 off. I call and the big blind checks. The flop comes 4 5 6. Gotcha bitch. I bet out 110K. Big blind folds and clueless bad skin guy raises to 300K. Maybe he has AA. Makes sense to me. I've seen this guy check down TT on a 7 high board.
Aces or kings make a lot of sense to me here. I'm all in for 800K. He calls pretty quickly and show 66 for top set. I'm almost drawing dead. He stands up to shake my hand and I just walk away from the table shaking my head.
6th place. Fuck me.
JDN
Apparently I miss counted my chips and I only have 338,000 and not 388,000. Stupid Heinenkens. Oh well, let's get it going.
I don't know what table this is but I'm in seat 4.
Table draw:
Seat 1: that bad skin guy that cracked my set on day one.
Seat 2: mr 3 bets. One of this Internet nerds.
Seat 3: Tracy Nguyen, pearljammers gf
Seat 4: JDN
Seat 5: Internet nerd with bad teeth bad gums and bad hair, and no it's not Dr Pauly.
Seat 6: big dude. Really big dude.
Seat 7: rwg, a Ginger
Seat 8: rwg
Seat 9: that Mexican guy from the wsop or the human rain delay as Jeremiah calls him
Seat 10: Swedish kid
Well, I get a walk in my first big blind, which is nice. Then all the other short stacks double up with KK, KK, and QQ. The best hand I've seen is A4 off.
After 40 minutes of play we take a break. 325K. I pretty sure I had 388K to start with. I only won one hand and I still have 325K. Dealers are smoking crack.
I order a heineken and I win 2 straight hands. Up to 450K. Heineken, it's magical!
Order another heineken, win another pot. 600K.
Tracy bust the big guy with TT vs A9 and we're finally down to 9. The real final table.
In the 15K/30K level I raise from early position with 22. The Ginger in seat 6 flat call with 245K behind. Alert Will Robinson!
The flop falls 2 4 T. I check, he checks. The turn is a 7. I check again. He puts in his stack and I call. He shows AA.
Blank on the river and I rake the pot.
I'm up over 1 meeeeeeellion in chips for one hand before I pay the blinds.
Ugly Internet guy busted by clueless bad skin guy when he over shoves with AQ and goes out in 8th place. Down to 7.
Just shy of 1 million when we go on break.
Mr 3 Bets busts the rwg and we're down to 6.
Tracy puts me to the test when she moves in from the small blind for 560K with blinds at 20K/40K. I look down at 33.
Gawd! Ok. I think it through. I know she probably has an ace and a over. It's a bit of a over shove but that's not too important. I'm sure I'm racing but, do I wanna be in a race for 70% of my chips?
I finally decide to fold face up. A couple of hands later I ask her if she had A7. She says "something like that." Ding! I'm right.
Good fold by me.
Few orbits later its folded to the clueless bad skin guy in the small blind, he raises it up and the Mr 3 Bets calls. The flop comes Q J 6. Bet call. The turn is a 4. Check check. The river is another 4. I look at clueless guy and see him mouth the word "damn" and smile. 3 Bets isn't even looking at him. I wanna slap him and tell just to look to you right. He doesn't. Clueless guy slowly bets out 500k. Look at him!!! Mr 3 Bets calls and clueless guy shows Q4. C'mon internet kid, look at the people you're playing with.
After raking the pot he tries to give knucks to 3 Bets and gets denied. Listen guy, don't try to buddy up with people you just crippled.
At this point I begging to get heads up with this guy. I could get all his chips with preflop mini raises.
Clueless guy starts stacking the chips from the 2 million chip pot and when he looks down at then next hand, he limps. He's limping in a 6 handed final table. First one of the day. I instantly put him on a pair. Tens minimum.
Its folded to me in the small blind and I look down at 45 off. I call and the big blind checks. The flop comes 4 5 6. Gotcha bitch. I bet out 110K. Big blind folds and clueless bad skin guy raises to 300K. Maybe he has AA. Makes sense to me. I've seen this guy check down TT on a 7 high board.
Aces or kings make a lot of sense to me here. I'm all in for 800K. He calls pretty quickly and show 66 for top set. I'm almost drawing dead. He stands up to shake my hand and I just walk away from the table shaking my head.
6th place. Fuck me.
JDN
2.26.2009
Caesars 1K Day Two
Table 44 seat 8
I got $71,800 and that's below average. The biggest stack at my table is
only maybe 90K. Good draw. Of course Kyle Bowker is at my table again
and he has position on me again, but he's only got 39K.
Blinds start today at 1500/3000 with a 400 ante. Eek. Kinda steep.
This tournament is going to be played and won preflop.
78 players left. Here we go.
I pick up aces in the first orbit and win the blinds and antes. Then I
get moved to the table with all the chips. Lovely.
In the first orbit I pick up aces again and make a preflop reraise
against seat 3. He calls but then folds on my all in bet on the K high
flop. I'm up over 100K.
Ok, the real table draw:
Seat 1: Kyle Bowker, this guy is my fricken shadow
Seat 2: Thor Hansen doppelganger
Seat 3: rwg
Seat 4: rag definite non-sag
Seat 5: Internet geek
Seat 6: rag (non-sag)
Seat 7: rwg
Seat 8: big fat English guy wearing a rugby club shirt. Guaranteed he
hasn't played rugby in a while
Seat 9: JDN
Seat 10: rwg
I get seat 10 all in with my A4 vs his AK. D'oh. The flop falls Jd 6c
Jc. Sweet. The turn is the Jh. D'oh. The river is As. Chop! Sweet!
We're already down to 58 players from 78. We've lost 20 players in
less than an hour.
Internet kid doubles through drunk guy in a donkey play, then he cracks
my QQ with A3. So poor.
Random white guy in seat 7 just showed us naked pictures of his wife.
I shit you not. Not bad for an old guy. Probably photoshopped though.
75K going into level #12.
In the small blind with levels at 2000/4000, the fat bloke, who turns
out to be from Amsterdam, moves in from the button. I knew he was
going to do that before he did. I look down at QQ and call. He shows
58 off. Haha
The flop falls 7 3 9. Fuck. Gotta fade the gut shot, which I have not
been good at recently. But I do this time!!! Double up to 140K.
Then I take a shot at a pot and get knocked down 74K. I swear this
midget-looking kid can't miss a flop.
74K at break with 39 people left.
With blinds at 2500/5000 the Internet nerd, whose name is Brent, I
think, raises to 12,000. The midget kid to my right calls and I look
down at AA.
How should I play this? Can't flat call it with 2 in front. So I decide to
over raise it to look like a steal. I throw out 45,000. Take that
fuckers.
I look down at my bet. There's only 25,000 out there. Shit. I
miscounted my 5K chips. D'oh! Ok. Well I guess its looks like I have
aces then.
Everyone folds to the midget kid, who calls. He can't read the signs
obv. The flop falls K 8 6. I bet 35,000 and the kid moves in. I snap
call and he asks if I have a set of kings. Fuuck he flopped a set.
He shows 66 for bottom set. D'oh. I stand up and grab my hoodie, Ace on
the turn! Aces! Fuck yeah!!!
Up to 200K.
Table breaks when we're down to 30 players. Of course the drunk guy
from last night is to my left and working on getting drunk again. He
won't shut up.
Drunk guy AKA Thor Hansen doppelganger is popping Valium. Awesome.
It's folded to me in the big blind and I look down at 55. I raise to
18,000 to the doppelganger's protest. He tanks it for a moment before
raising another 45,000. I call bullshit and move in. He shows 92 off
and asks if I can beat that.
I say "no" and rake the pot.
240K at dinner break. 23 players left and 18 pay. Getting down to it.
Mike Laing The drunk guy is Mike Laing! I knew I knew him.
In the next level I see AJ 3 times and AA once. I win two of those and
basically break even until were down to 20.
We redraw when we're down to two tables and guess who I'm sitting next to?
Kyle motherfucken Bowker. But he's on my right this time and he's
short. Haha fucker!
Mike Laing busts in 19th. On the bubble.
Gross. Kyle Bowker bubbles with QdQs vs KdTd. Gross. Runner runner
flush and kwob busts. Bad for him. Good for me.
Vee Rob, you get 20% of your buy in back.
$239,000 at break. 16 players left. Not much going on with me. I'm
just maintaining my stack, making preflop raises once or twice an
orbit. This shit is easy.
Just found out that the Mexican guy at our table, who's wearing
sandals, is that guy who finished 3rd in the WSOP POY points race. I
guess he knows how to play this game, but not how to speak the language.
Sick! I'm in the big blind when under the gun limps. The Ginger in
seat 7 calls, as does the chip leader in seat 1. I'm in seat 2 and
look down at AT.
The flop comes Qd Td 3c. Check around. The turn is a 7c. Check, check,
45,000 from the under the gun limper. I call. Fold fold.
The river is a Qc. I like the queen but hate the club. I check. The
UTG limper bets 90K. I got 130K. Ok ok I call. If I'm wrong I got
another hand to get my money in.
He shows Ad3d. I show my ten and take the pot down.
I got about 360K as someone busts on the other table.
13 left.
In the sickest hand yet, euro guy flops a full house with KK on a Q K
Q board against the guy next to me's KQ. Aiyeah!
Down to 10. Mexican doesn't want to play and we're coming back tomorrow.
Damn it. Most of us want to play another level.
$388,000 in chips. That's good for 7th at the final table. Gl me.
JDN
I got $71,800 and that's below average. The biggest stack at my table is
only maybe 90K. Good draw. Of course Kyle Bowker is at my table again
and he has position on me again, but he's only got 39K.
Blinds start today at 1500/3000 with a 400 ante. Eek. Kinda steep.
This tournament is going to be played and won preflop.
78 players left. Here we go.
I pick up aces in the first orbit and win the blinds and antes. Then I
get moved to the table with all the chips. Lovely.
In the first orbit I pick up aces again and make a preflop reraise
against seat 3. He calls but then folds on my all in bet on the K high
flop. I'm up over 100K.
Ok, the real table draw:
Seat 1: Kyle Bowker, this guy is my fricken shadow
Seat 2: Thor Hansen doppelganger
Seat 3: rwg
Seat 4: rag definite non-sag
Seat 5: Internet geek
Seat 6: rag (non-sag)
Seat 7: rwg
Seat 8: big fat English guy wearing a rugby club shirt. Guaranteed he
hasn't played rugby in a while
Seat 9: JDN
Seat 10: rwg
I get seat 10 all in with my A4 vs his AK. D'oh. The flop falls Jd 6c
Jc. Sweet. The turn is the Jh. D'oh. The river is As. Chop! Sweet!
We're already down to 58 players from 78. We've lost 20 players in
less than an hour.
Internet kid doubles through drunk guy in a donkey play, then he cracks
my QQ with A3. So poor.
Random white guy in seat 7 just showed us naked pictures of his wife.
I shit you not. Not bad for an old guy. Probably photoshopped though.
75K going into level #12.
In the small blind with levels at 2000/4000, the fat bloke, who turns
out to be from Amsterdam, moves in from the button. I knew he was
going to do that before he did. I look down at QQ and call. He shows
58 off. Haha
The flop falls 7 3 9. Fuck. Gotta fade the gut shot, which I have not
been good at recently. But I do this time!!! Double up to 140K.
Then I take a shot at a pot and get knocked down 74K. I swear this
midget-looking kid can't miss a flop.
74K at break with 39 people left.
With blinds at 2500/5000 the Internet nerd, whose name is Brent, I
think, raises to 12,000. The midget kid to my right calls and I look
down at AA.
How should I play this? Can't flat call it with 2 in front. So I decide to
over raise it to look like a steal. I throw out 45,000. Take that
fuckers.
I look down at my bet. There's only 25,000 out there. Shit. I
miscounted my 5K chips. D'oh! Ok. Well I guess its looks like I have
aces then.
Everyone folds to the midget kid, who calls. He can't read the signs
obv. The flop falls K 8 6. I bet 35,000 and the kid moves in. I snap
call and he asks if I have a set of kings. Fuuck he flopped a set.
He shows 66 for bottom set. D'oh. I stand up and grab my hoodie, Ace on
the turn! Aces! Fuck yeah!!!
Up to 200K.
Table breaks when we're down to 30 players. Of course the drunk guy
from last night is to my left and working on getting drunk again. He
won't shut up.
Drunk guy AKA Thor Hansen doppelganger is popping Valium. Awesome.
It's folded to me in the big blind and I look down at 55. I raise to
18,000 to the doppelganger's protest. He tanks it for a moment before
raising another 45,000. I call bullshit and move in. He shows 92 off
and asks if I can beat that.
I say "no" and rake the pot.
240K at dinner break. 23 players left and 18 pay. Getting down to it.
Mike Laing The drunk guy is Mike Laing! I knew I knew him.
In the next level I see AJ 3 times and AA once. I win two of those and
basically break even until were down to 20.
We redraw when we're down to two tables and guess who I'm sitting next to?
Kyle motherfucken Bowker. But he's on my right this time and he's
short. Haha fucker!
Mike Laing busts in 19th. On the bubble.
Gross. Kyle Bowker bubbles with QdQs vs KdTd. Gross. Runner runner
flush and kwob busts. Bad for him. Good for me.
Vee Rob, you get 20% of your buy in back.
$239,000 at break. 16 players left. Not much going on with me. I'm
just maintaining my stack, making preflop raises once or twice an
orbit. This shit is easy.
Just found out that the Mexican guy at our table, who's wearing
sandals, is that guy who finished 3rd in the WSOP POY points race. I
guess he knows how to play this game, but not how to speak the language.
Sick! I'm in the big blind when under the gun limps. The Ginger in
seat 7 calls, as does the chip leader in seat 1. I'm in seat 2 and
look down at AT.
The flop comes Qd Td 3c. Check around. The turn is a 7c. Check, check,
45,000 from the under the gun limper. I call. Fold fold.
The river is a Qc. I like the queen but hate the club. I check. The
UTG limper bets 90K. I got 130K. Ok ok I call. If I'm wrong I got
another hand to get my money in.
He shows Ad3d. I show my ten and take the pot down.
I got about 360K as someone busts on the other table.
13 left.
In the sickest hand yet, euro guy flops a full house with KK on a Q K
Q board against the guy next to me's KQ. Aiyeah!
Down to 10. Mexican doesn't want to play and we're coming back tomorrow.
Damn it. Most of us want to play another level.
$388,000 in chips. That's good for 7th at the final table. Gl me.
JDN
2.25.2009
Caesars 1K mega stack thingy
I had the report all written up for the Caesars freeroll that I tortured myself to get into, but I accidentally deleted it from my iPod notes instead of emailing it. Thank you Apple for not having a back up for the notes. Genius bar my ass.
I had this new positive attitude and good outlook on the day then I bubbled the final 64. I had queens with 4 players left to the heads up and I moved in. I was short and of course I ran into aces. I should have folded.
On the bright side, I swapped 10% with Vee Rob and he made a run for it in the heads up finishing 4th for 6K. So at the end of my 40 hour debacle I'm up a little bit. Thanks mostly to the goofball playing high card with me in the mix game and Vee Rob going deep in the freeroll. I love poker.
On the way to Caesars I discover that they closed the Twain underpass behind Caesars. The tilt! That was my favorite short cut! Damn it.
My new positive attitude is out the window!
Table 58 seat 1
$30K in starting chips (holy shit) and 60 minute levels.
Table draw:
Seat 1: JDN
Seat 2: rwg (random white guy)
Seat 3: rwg with sunglasses and a hat.
Seat 4; rwg with sunglasses and a hat
Seat 5; rwg with sunglasses and a hoodie
Seat 6: rwg
Seat 7: rwg with sunglasses and a hat and a bracelet. Wait! What? Yes he's got a wsop bracelet on. How tacky! To top it off, it's one of the ugly 2005 ones. That's barely a bracelet.
Seat 8: rag (random Asian guy)
Seat 9: goofy white guy who I've played with before. That's all I got.
Seat 10: rwg with a visor on.
Bracelet guy is playing like a goofball and hitting every hand. He is absolutely torturing seat 10 who's got under 5K.
I play pretty tight through the first two levels and only win 4 hands. All 4 hands counted and I'm up to around 35K.
35,275 at break.
Oh snap I win the $25 chip race off and I am rounded up another $25. Sweet. Free money!
237 total players. Wow. About a 100 more than I would have guessed. First place is $60K. 18th is 4K. Good payouts.
Just saw a 50k pot where all the money went in on the turn on a 4 7 K 6 board. Seat 6 shows 64 for two pair, seat 8 shows J9 for jack high. Ummm ok. Nothing like going bust with J high.
Oh no. Vee Rob is out. There's goes my 5%.
I catch goofy bracelet guy bluffing at the river on a board of A J 7 A 2. I call with queens and I got 45K.
In the 200/400 level I call a raise from goofy bracelet guy from the small blind with AhKc. The flop comes down 3h As 5h. I bet out 2100 and get two callers, seat 5 and the goofball. The turn is a 6c. I bet 3500, seat 5 calls and goofy raises to 12,000.
Ick. His hand range is huge, but I've seen him tighten up in his level after the break. Plus this other kid is in here with who knows what. So I tank it. For a long time.
Probably the longest I've ever thought and didn't get the clock called on me. I just go through all of the hands I've seen him play. Can he do this with AQ, AJ, or AT? Yes. KK or QQ? Yes. But he could also have 24, 47, 78, A6, A5, A3, 33, 55, or 66. There's more hands I lose to than win against.
Plus there's this other kid in the hand, which makes me think he's making a move. Arghh!
Wow, while writing this, I just got a walk! Bitchen'.
I finally fold and tell the guy I give him too much credit. The kid in seat 5 says he folded a set, which I know is complete bullshit. He was on a flush draw.
I think I was right to fold even though I might have been ahead. It wasn't worth my tournament to push in on a hunch. Now if I would have had AhKh, I would have just called.
Maybe I should have check raised the flop. That would have gotten rid of one of them. I don't know. This game sucks. I wanna play PLO8. Or HORSE.
43,100 at break.
Table break!
Table 32 seat 2.
Table draw
Seat 1: rwg
Seat 2: JDN
Seat 3: rwg. Just kidding! It's Kyle "kwob" Bowker.
Seat 4: rag
Seat 5: rpg
Seat 6: I think it's Tommy Vu. He's got an orange, like Johnny Chan, and a 32 oz bottle of apple juice.
Seat 7: a guy that looks like Nolan Dalla but fatter
Seat 8: a guy that looks like John D'Agostino but taller.
Seat 9: rag
Seat 10: rwg
And.... Table break. Again!
Bullshit.
I'm not going to do a table draw cause it's going to break soon anyway. But two players from the first table are here and Blake Bluffington, I swear that's his real name, is in seat 3.
David "C4" Plastik moves into seat 1. I think he should change his nickname to "CB4." Then he can sing "Sweat from my balls" at the table.
Made the dinner break with $39,500. I basically win 4 hands preflop and lose 3 hands post flop in the last 2 levels. Treading water.
Table breaks again and I get moved to table 33 seat 3. To my left is Kyle Bowker again. Random my ass.
In the 600/1200 level I raise it up under the gun to 3200 with TT. The goofball with the bad skin on the button pushes in for 18K. He looks nervous. He's staring at the ceiling. AJ? I call. He shows AQ.
The board runs out K 4 T J 8. Fuck. Me.
18K. Argh! I get it all in on the next hand with 77 on a T high flop to get some more chips.
The very next hand it's limped to me in the big blind while I'm holding Qs4s. The flop falls J Q Q. I get some more chips.
An orbit later Tommy Vu fires at the pot on the river with 3rd pair and I call with top pair to take down the pot.
Another few hands later on the big blind, Mr Vu moves in from middle position and I call with AJ. He's shows A4. Sweet. I'm up to 50K.
Then I get aces. And everyone folds. WTF?
Then a guy who I think is Thor Hansen sits down with a ton of chips. Then he talks and I do a double take. That's not Thor! It's some kinda country bumpkin doppelganger!
The whole table can tell that he's drunk and on his first hand he raises to 4500. I happen to be in the big blind and look down at 66. I call as does the small blind before me.
The flop falls J 8 6. Cool. I bet out 12,000 to get things started. The faux Thor raises me to 27,500. I push in for another 26K and he folds. Wait! What? Drunk bastard must have had 5 high. He was getting like 4 to 1 on his money. Bah! Whatever. I got 80K... Wow. Even though it's a mega stack it's been a while since I had that much.
After another f'ing table I end the day with 71,800. A little bit below average but still in good shape.
Starts up again tomorrow at 2pm.
JDN
I had this new positive attitude and good outlook on the day then I bubbled the final 64. I had queens with 4 players left to the heads up and I moved in. I was short and of course I ran into aces. I should have folded.
On the bright side, I swapped 10% with Vee Rob and he made a run for it in the heads up finishing 4th for 6K. So at the end of my 40 hour debacle I'm up a little bit. Thanks mostly to the goofball playing high card with me in the mix game and Vee Rob going deep in the freeroll. I love poker.
On the way to Caesars I discover that they closed the Twain underpass behind Caesars. The tilt! That was my favorite short cut! Damn it.
My new positive attitude is out the window!
Table 58 seat 1
$30K in starting chips (holy shit) and 60 minute levels.
Table draw:
Seat 1: JDN
Seat 2: rwg (random white guy)
Seat 3: rwg with sunglasses and a hat.
Seat 4; rwg with sunglasses and a hat
Seat 5; rwg with sunglasses and a hoodie
Seat 6: rwg
Seat 7: rwg with sunglasses and a hat and a bracelet. Wait! What? Yes he's got a wsop bracelet on. How tacky! To top it off, it's one of the ugly 2005 ones. That's barely a bracelet.
Seat 8: rag (random Asian guy)
Seat 9: goofy white guy who I've played with before. That's all I got.
Seat 10: rwg with a visor on.
Bracelet guy is playing like a goofball and hitting every hand. He is absolutely torturing seat 10 who's got under 5K.
I play pretty tight through the first two levels and only win 4 hands. All 4 hands counted and I'm up to around 35K.
35,275 at break.
Oh snap I win the $25 chip race off and I am rounded up another $25. Sweet. Free money!
237 total players. Wow. About a 100 more than I would have guessed. First place is $60K. 18th is 4K. Good payouts.
Just saw a 50k pot where all the money went in on the turn on a 4 7 K 6 board. Seat 6 shows 64 for two pair, seat 8 shows J9 for jack high. Ummm ok. Nothing like going bust with J high.
Oh no. Vee Rob is out. There's goes my 5%.
I catch goofy bracelet guy bluffing at the river on a board of A J 7 A 2. I call with queens and I got 45K.
In the 200/400 level I call a raise from goofy bracelet guy from the small blind with AhKc. The flop comes down 3h As 5h. I bet out 2100 and get two callers, seat 5 and the goofball. The turn is a 6c. I bet 3500, seat 5 calls and goofy raises to 12,000.
Ick. His hand range is huge, but I've seen him tighten up in his level after the break. Plus this other kid is in here with who knows what. So I tank it. For a long time.
Probably the longest I've ever thought and didn't get the clock called on me. I just go through all of the hands I've seen him play. Can he do this with AQ, AJ, or AT? Yes. KK or QQ? Yes. But he could also have 24, 47, 78, A6, A5, A3, 33, 55, or 66. There's more hands I lose to than win against.
Plus there's this other kid in the hand, which makes me think he's making a move. Arghh!
Wow, while writing this, I just got a walk! Bitchen'.
I finally fold and tell the guy I give him too much credit. The kid in seat 5 says he folded a set, which I know is complete bullshit. He was on a flush draw.
I think I was right to fold even though I might have been ahead. It wasn't worth my tournament to push in on a hunch. Now if I would have had AhKh, I would have just called.
Maybe I should have check raised the flop. That would have gotten rid of one of them. I don't know. This game sucks. I wanna play PLO8. Or HORSE.
43,100 at break.
Table break!
Table 32 seat 2.
Table draw
Seat 1: rwg
Seat 2: JDN
Seat 3: rwg. Just kidding! It's Kyle "kwob" Bowker.
Seat 4: rag
Seat 5: rpg
Seat 6: I think it's Tommy Vu. He's got an orange, like Johnny Chan, and a 32 oz bottle of apple juice.
Seat 7: a guy that looks like Nolan Dalla but fatter
Seat 8: a guy that looks like John D'Agostino but taller.
Seat 9: rag
Seat 10: rwg
And.... Table break. Again!
Bullshit.
I'm not going to do a table draw cause it's going to break soon anyway. But two players from the first table are here and Blake Bluffington, I swear that's his real name, is in seat 3.
David "C4" Plastik moves into seat 1. I think he should change his nickname to "CB4." Then he can sing "Sweat from my balls" at the table.
Made the dinner break with $39,500. I basically win 4 hands preflop and lose 3 hands post flop in the last 2 levels. Treading water.
Table breaks again and I get moved to table 33 seat 3. To my left is Kyle Bowker again. Random my ass.
In the 600/1200 level I raise it up under the gun to 3200 with TT. The goofball with the bad skin on the button pushes in for 18K. He looks nervous. He's staring at the ceiling. AJ? I call. He shows AQ.
The board runs out K 4 T J 8. Fuck. Me.
18K. Argh! I get it all in on the next hand with 77 on a T high flop to get some more chips.
The very next hand it's limped to me in the big blind while I'm holding Qs4s. The flop falls J Q Q. I get some more chips.
An orbit later Tommy Vu fires at the pot on the river with 3rd pair and I call with top pair to take down the pot.
Another few hands later on the big blind, Mr Vu moves in from middle position and I call with AJ. He's shows A4. Sweet. I'm up to 50K.
Then I get aces. And everyone folds. WTF?
Then a guy who I think is Thor Hansen sits down with a ton of chips. Then he talks and I do a double take. That's not Thor! It's some kinda country bumpkin doppelganger!
The whole table can tell that he's drunk and on his first hand he raises to 4500. I happen to be in the big blind and look down at 66. I call as does the small blind before me.
The flop falls J 8 6. Cool. I bet out 12,000 to get things started. The faux Thor raises me to 27,500. I push in for another 26K and he folds. Wait! What? Drunk bastard must have had 5 high. He was getting like 4 to 1 on his money. Bah! Whatever. I got 80K... Wow. Even though it's a mega stack it's been a while since I had that much.
After another f'ing table I end the day with 71,800. A little bit below average but still in good shape.
Starts up again tomorrow at 2pm.
JDN
2.20.2009
Venetian $340 NLH
After the last debacle in a $300 tournament, I'm hoping to last more than 2 hands and not stand in line for 2 hours.
As I walk into the Venetian, I am greeted by another damn line. This one is small and I get bought into the tourney in about 5 minutes and only miss a few hands.
After a moment of searching, I find my seat at 18 and get dealt my first hand. I look down at queens. Not this shit again. After raising, I get a call from the old guy to my left and the flops falls 2 3 9. Wonderful. Just wonderful. (I'm slowly turning into Allen Kessler. I go into a hand thinking that there's no chance I'm going to win it).
I bet out and he folds. Whew!! Good start.
Table 18 seat 8
12K in starting chips. 40 minute levels.
Table draw:
Seat 1: a crusty old seaman with a bushy mustache from Reno. He's wearing a Peppermill hat and he looks like he's had a hard life on the high seas.
Seat 2: a younger white guy who looks like he just came from the club. He's got on way oversized sunglasses and he's sucking on one of those fake cigarette things. From the other side of the table it looks like he's got a sharpie in his mouth.
Seat 3: an older white guy that looks like a turtle. I don't think it would be to hard for him to pull his head into his jacket to avoid giving off tells when he's made a reraise on someone.
Seat 4: rwg
Seat 5: rwg who I've played with before. I would bet that he's clinically insane. He really has no concept of poker, betting, gambling or math.
Seat 6: a younger white guy with one of the worst jr high school mustaches evar! The only reason I can see it is because he's pale and he has dark facial hair.
Seat 7: older white guy trying to channel Mickey Rourke from that Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man movie. He's got the bandana, 1 hoop earring in the left lobe, leather jacket, and cowboy boots. And he's horrid at poker.
Seat 8: jdn
Seat 9: the mad Greek. He's a little guy, about 60, and insane! Never saw a hand he didn't like and he went on a roller coaster in the first level. Going from 12K to 3K back up to 25K with blinds at 25/50. I need to get some of those chips.
Seat 10: rwg that kinda looks like Chris Moneymaker. In between hands he's highlighting documents.
LOL the kid in seat 2 is wearing reading glasses under his way oversized shades. Classy.
Holy moly! My table is outta control. In the first 3 levels we've lost 6 players. The blinds were at 100/200 and people were going apeshit. I love these tournaments.
I was pretty card dead through the last two levels, levels 2 and 3... So I didn't see any of the bust out chips. Clinically insane guy got most of the chips and he's sitting on a 50K stack.
I got 10,750 at break.
Wow. They got over 500 players in this shizzle. And they lost about 100 in the first 3 levels. It's like a turbo but not.
I pick up kings early in level 3 and take some chips from the turtle guy to get up to 15K.
I have to start manufacturing hands to get any chips. I get all of my chips in the middle with AQ on a board or 2 K J 4 against the insane guy. I think I'm bluffing with the best hand because the most I can put him on is a bad flush draw. He folds and I win the 8K pot.
The old scallywag in seat 1 just raised a 750 bet to 8000. Maybe he can't see past his mustache.
In the middle of level 5 the table breaks. Damn. So sad to see it go.
I get moved to table 31 seat 2 and I don't want to do a table draw. Frankly, because all these new peeps are boring and non-descript. Just a bunch of RWGs.
In the 200/400 level I finally pick up aces. I reraise seat 9's 850 bet (WTF is that?) to 2100 and get the big stack in seat 5 and seat 9 to call.
The flop comes 5h 7h 4c. Not a huge fan but when it's checked to me I bet 6K. Big stack folds and seat 9 goes into the tank. He thinks forever so put him on 8s 9s or 10s.
He finally calls and shows 88. Ok, gotta fade 6 or an 8. The turn is a two of hearts. Ick. I dunno if he has a heart or not. It's definitely red though. The river is a harmless deuce and I drag the pot. Now I got some chippies!
A few hands later I bust this Grizzly Adams looking mofo with 99 vs his A8. I get up to around 37K. Woo hoo!
That doesn't last long.
I'm in the small blind when it's folded around to seat 1 who raises to 1500. I call with AT and check the Q high flop. He bets 3K. I call thinking that's he's continuing the semi bluff. The turn is a 9. I check he bets 3K again. Now I know he's on air. I call and the river peels off a K.
After a few seconds of thought I put him all in with a bet of 8K. He calls pretty quick and shows AJ. Kicker plays. WTF was that? How do you call off your stack with AJ?
He says something about being committed. Really? What kind of math is that? K-Mart math?
I'm pretty sure I found the only person in this tournament that would be dumb enough to make that call.
I think even if I put him all in on the turn he's calling. These people...
After the break, I don't even bother counting my chips, we're in the 400/800 level and I'm in the big blind with about 13K in front of me.
It's folded to the idiot in seat 1 and he raises to 2500. Every time it's been folded to him in late position he's raised. He read a book or something about position apparently. I look down at J8 off and make the call. I'm calling that small blind raise about 90% of the time with any two cards. And he can't possibly have another hand. Right?
The flop falls 4 8 J. Sweeeet. He bets 6K. I move in for my last 11K or so. He doesn't snap call this time. He must have not have AJ again. After the dealer does a piss poor job of counting out the chips, he finally calls. I show my two pair and he gasps. I guess he didn't expect me to have a hand. He shows AK.
The turn is a Q, river a T. Giving him the nut straight. GG.
Really? I mean WTF? The guy plays like shit and wins only two hands while I'm at the table. Both from me. I just handed him 40K.
I now understand why people go on shooting sprees. Makes total sense now. This is why I don't own any weapons. I would use them.
I feel so robbed when I walk out of the Venetian. Why can't I just not get over the hump? I just keep getting raped and I keep going back for more. No matter what you do, you're still gonna get prison raped in the shower. There's no escaping it.
I think about going back into the Venetian to stab that guy with a spork but I decide the best course of action would be to find out if he has any kids. If he does, I'm going to take them down to the animal shelter and get them fixed right away. Those genes do not need to be passed down to another generation of idiots. I'll be doing a good deed for society and saving the welfare system some trouble too. I'll be a hero.
Why am I so worked up over a $300 tournament? I don't know. Its ricockulously frustrating to keep losing to horrible players in shitty low stakes tournaments.
I get to look forward to the Caesars freeroll on Sunday, Venetian main event on Monday, and Caesars main event on Tuesday...
Fuck this shit, I quit.
JDN
As I walk into the Venetian, I am greeted by another damn line. This one is small and I get bought into the tourney in about 5 minutes and only miss a few hands.
After a moment of searching, I find my seat at 18 and get dealt my first hand. I look down at queens. Not this shit again. After raising, I get a call from the old guy to my left and the flops falls 2 3 9. Wonderful. Just wonderful. (I'm slowly turning into Allen Kessler. I go into a hand thinking that there's no chance I'm going to win it).
I bet out and he folds. Whew!! Good start.
Table 18 seat 8
12K in starting chips. 40 minute levels.
Table draw:
Seat 1: a crusty old seaman with a bushy mustache from Reno. He's wearing a Peppermill hat and he looks like he's had a hard life on the high seas.
Seat 2: a younger white guy who looks like he just came from the club. He's got on way oversized sunglasses and he's sucking on one of those fake cigarette things. From the other side of the table it looks like he's got a sharpie in his mouth.
Seat 3: an older white guy that looks like a turtle. I don't think it would be to hard for him to pull his head into his jacket to avoid giving off tells when he's made a reraise on someone.
Seat 4: rwg
Seat 5: rwg who I've played with before. I would bet that he's clinically insane. He really has no concept of poker, betting, gambling or math.
Seat 6: a younger white guy with one of the worst jr high school mustaches evar! The only reason I can see it is because he's pale and he has dark facial hair.
Seat 7: older white guy trying to channel Mickey Rourke from that Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man movie. He's got the bandana, 1 hoop earring in the left lobe, leather jacket, and cowboy boots. And he's horrid at poker.
Seat 8: jdn
Seat 9: the mad Greek. He's a little guy, about 60, and insane! Never saw a hand he didn't like and he went on a roller coaster in the first level. Going from 12K to 3K back up to 25K with blinds at 25/50. I need to get some of those chips.
Seat 10: rwg that kinda looks like Chris Moneymaker. In between hands he's highlighting documents.
LOL the kid in seat 2 is wearing reading glasses under his way oversized shades. Classy.
Holy moly! My table is outta control. In the first 3 levels we've lost 6 players. The blinds were at 100/200 and people were going apeshit. I love these tournaments.
I was pretty card dead through the last two levels, levels 2 and 3... So I didn't see any of the bust out chips. Clinically insane guy got most of the chips and he's sitting on a 50K stack.
I got 10,750 at break.
Wow. They got over 500 players in this shizzle. And they lost about 100 in the first 3 levels. It's like a turbo but not.
I pick up kings early in level 3 and take some chips from the turtle guy to get up to 15K.
I have to start manufacturing hands to get any chips. I get all of my chips in the middle with AQ on a board or 2 K J 4 against the insane guy. I think I'm bluffing with the best hand because the most I can put him on is a bad flush draw. He folds and I win the 8K pot.
The old scallywag in seat 1 just raised a 750 bet to 8000. Maybe he can't see past his mustache.
In the middle of level 5 the table breaks. Damn. So sad to see it go.
I get moved to table 31 seat 2 and I don't want to do a table draw. Frankly, because all these new peeps are boring and non-descript. Just a bunch of RWGs.
In the 200/400 level I finally pick up aces. I reraise seat 9's 850 bet (WTF is that?) to 2100 and get the big stack in seat 5 and seat 9 to call.
The flop comes 5h 7h 4c. Not a huge fan but when it's checked to me I bet 6K. Big stack folds and seat 9 goes into the tank. He thinks forever so put him on 8s 9s or 10s.
He finally calls and shows 88. Ok, gotta fade 6 or an 8. The turn is a two of hearts. Ick. I dunno if he has a heart or not. It's definitely red though. The river is a harmless deuce and I drag the pot. Now I got some chippies!
A few hands later I bust this Grizzly Adams looking mofo with 99 vs his A8. I get up to around 37K. Woo hoo!
That doesn't last long.
I'm in the small blind when it's folded around to seat 1 who raises to 1500. I call with AT and check the Q high flop. He bets 3K. I call thinking that's he's continuing the semi bluff. The turn is a 9. I check he bets 3K again. Now I know he's on air. I call and the river peels off a K.
After a few seconds of thought I put him all in with a bet of 8K. He calls pretty quick and shows AJ. Kicker plays. WTF was that? How do you call off your stack with AJ?
He says something about being committed. Really? What kind of math is that? K-Mart math?
I'm pretty sure I found the only person in this tournament that would be dumb enough to make that call.
I think even if I put him all in on the turn he's calling. These people...
After the break, I don't even bother counting my chips, we're in the 400/800 level and I'm in the big blind with about 13K in front of me.
It's folded to the idiot in seat 1 and he raises to 2500. Every time it's been folded to him in late position he's raised. He read a book or something about position apparently. I look down at J8 off and make the call. I'm calling that small blind raise about 90% of the time with any two cards. And he can't possibly have another hand. Right?
The flop falls 4 8 J. Sweeeet. He bets 6K. I move in for my last 11K or so. He doesn't snap call this time. He must have not have AJ again. After the dealer does a piss poor job of counting out the chips, he finally calls. I show my two pair and he gasps. I guess he didn't expect me to have a hand. He shows AK.
The turn is a Q, river a T. Giving him the nut straight. GG.
Really? I mean WTF? The guy plays like shit and wins only two hands while I'm at the table. Both from me. I just handed him 40K.
I now understand why people go on shooting sprees. Makes total sense now. This is why I don't own any weapons. I would use them.
I feel so robbed when I walk out of the Venetian. Why can't I just not get over the hump? I just keep getting raped and I keep going back for more. No matter what you do, you're still gonna get prison raped in the shower. There's no escaping it.
I think about going back into the Venetian to stab that guy with a spork but I decide the best course of action would be to find out if he has any kids. If he does, I'm going to take them down to the animal shelter and get them fixed right away. Those genes do not need to be passed down to another generation of idiots. I'll be doing a good deed for society and saving the welfare system some trouble too. I'll be a hero.
Why am I so worked up over a $300 tournament? I don't know. Its ricockulously frustrating to keep losing to horrible players in shitty low stakes tournaments.
I get to look forward to the Caesars freeroll on Sunday, Venetian main event on Monday, and Caesars main event on Tuesday...
Fuck this shit, I quit.
JDN
LAPC $300 NLH $100K guarantee
It's been raining all night like a bitchfist, but when I leave the pad it has cleared up slightly. There's no traffic on the 10 because it's Presidents Day. Shitty weather plus a holiday equals not much traffic. Yay for me.
Then I get to interstate 5 and things slow down a bit. Then I get to the Washington exit and the line of cars stretch back onto the freeway. Ick. Can all these people be going to the Commerce to play a $300 tournament on a Monday?
Yup.
They're not going to have a problem getting the guarantee. Valet was full and I had to park about 1 mile away from the casino. Lucky for me it had stopped raining.
I run upstairs to get in line. In a line that runs back through a part of the commerce I didn't even know existed! There's more elevators back here.
There are about 500 people in line ahead of me. Damn it. I should have had Bobo buy me in. He's already playing. Bad planning on my part.
1:18pm
I see Chris Ferguson buying in. Times are rough.
1:24pm
The line hasn't progressed much. Looks like I'm gonna miss the 1st 3 levels. Minimum.
1:36pm
I can see the entrance to the tournament room. Looks like there is an equally long alternate line that follows the buy in line. Man, I need a beer.
1:45pm
First level has ended. Good news, the blinds were only 25/25.
1:59pm
I buy in. I'm alternate 293. Cocktails!
2:20pm alternate line
I run into Jeremiah Smith. After a lengthy chat, I'm still 200 deep in the alternate line.
2:28pm alternate line
Looks like they're putting people in the tent. There's a mofo'ing hurricane outside!
2:36pm alternate line
I have decided that this is the worst tournament experience of my life.
2:44pm alternate line
The old guy in front of me is wearing those ughhs boots. Dude, you're too old and you're a dude!!!
2:50pm alternate line
I make it back into the tournament room.
2:56pm
I take my seat at table 13 seat 6. 7 minutes left in level 3.
And I'm out.
I pick up queens on my second hand and get it all in on the turn of a board reading 6 7 9 T. The ole A8 has me drawing dead. GG.
What a waste of fricken time!
Fuck this shit I'm going back to Vegas.
JDN
Then I get to interstate 5 and things slow down a bit. Then I get to the Washington exit and the line of cars stretch back onto the freeway. Ick. Can all these people be going to the Commerce to play a $300 tournament on a Monday?
Yup.
They're not going to have a problem getting the guarantee. Valet was full and I had to park about 1 mile away from the casino. Lucky for me it had stopped raining.
I run upstairs to get in line. In a line that runs back through a part of the commerce I didn't even know existed! There's more elevators back here.
There are about 500 people in line ahead of me. Damn it. I should have had Bobo buy me in. He's already playing. Bad planning on my part.
1:18pm
I see Chris Ferguson buying in. Times are rough.
1:24pm
The line hasn't progressed much. Looks like I'm gonna miss the 1st 3 levels. Minimum.
1:36pm
I can see the entrance to the tournament room. Looks like there is an equally long alternate line that follows the buy in line. Man, I need a beer.
1:45pm
First level has ended. Good news, the blinds were only 25/25.
1:59pm
I buy in. I'm alternate 293. Cocktails!
2:20pm alternate line
I run into Jeremiah Smith. After a lengthy chat, I'm still 200 deep in the alternate line.
2:28pm alternate line
Looks like they're putting people in the tent. There's a mofo'ing hurricane outside!
2:36pm alternate line
I have decided that this is the worst tournament experience of my life.
2:44pm alternate line
The old guy in front of me is wearing those ughhs boots. Dude, you're too old and you're a dude!!!
2:50pm alternate line
I make it back into the tournament room.
2:56pm
I take my seat at table 13 seat 6. 7 minutes left in level 3.
And I'm out.
I pick up queens on my second hand and get it all in on the turn of a board reading 6 7 9 T. The ole A8 has me drawing dead. GG.
What a waste of fricken time!
Fuck this shit I'm going back to Vegas.
JDN
2.13.2009
LAPC $1K HORSE
I get to the Commerce Casino in about 30 minutes from Venice which is a great sign. I'm running good already, I beat the LA traffic game.
The other tilter about the Commerce is that if you bust between 3pm and 7pm you get stuck in traffic heading home. Bust out time becomes a real issue here.
I run into Scott Clements and Brian Devonshire shortly before the tournament and get roped into a 30 person last longer. Actually I was the fifth one in and at that time there was only the aforementioned Scott, Devo, Jimmy Fricke (I LOL'd and sent out a couple texts), and some kid with a lol donkaments shirt on. Nerd alert.
Since then it's ballooned to about 30 players and includes the likes of Miami John, Jerry Buss, Maria Ho, Raymond Davis, Mark Gregorich, and assorted other Internet nerds that I don't know.
It's definitely the biggest last longer I've ever been a part of. I also got Devo to promise to manage the list even if he busts.
Table 10 seat 6
Table draw:
Seat 1: rwg
Seat 2: Tyler Patterson, a Canadian
Seat 3: Dr Jerry Buss, who looks exactly like the guy that owns of the Lakers.
Seat 4: a younger skinny white guy that I've played with in vegas and couple of occasions.
Seat 5: rwg with lovely knit sweater on.
Seat 6: JDN
Seat 7: a guy the looks like the actor Luis Guzman but talks like he's from the valley.
Seat 8: don't his real name but his online name is cardsharpsnet. He's a dirty hippy too. He's wearing a grateful dead shirt.
The last longer is up to about 35 players. That's a fifth of the field.
I make myself look like a noob in stud 8, when after 7th street in a big multiway pot I announce my hand as a wheel with 3s up. D'oh!
I didn't even have 3s up. I had 4s up. So poor. A few people have a laugh but I'm the one scooping the big 3k pot. Biacthes!
And Devo is out. First one in the tournament.
I gotta give some kudos to TD Matt Savage. Awesome structure! We start with 5K and blinds start at 50/100. Levels are an hour long and the game changes every 8 hands.
There's no 3 levels of fluff. Every hand counts. Well done sir! I hope the WSOP is listening. But I bet they're not.
And you know they're not listen to the community because this year the lifestyles show is called pokerpalooza. Really? Genius.
$5850 at break. Down from 8K cause I got a little frisky in Omaha.
About half the people at the table are riding Jerry's nuts. I saw this happen at the last LAPC main event when we were at the same table on day 2. He doesn't seem to mind but it bugs me. One of them will be saying this later:
Jerry can't remember the blinds to save his life. It's soooo cute when he acts all confused.
Official count is 212 players which beats my guesstimation.
I'm running so bad in limit omaha. I'm thinking about just sitting out of the game and going to take a dump. It would be more productive than this.
In a hand with Tyler the flop falls K Q T rainbow. I have AAJ9. I flop the nuts as I check call Tyler's bet the turns peels off another T. My nuts go right out the window. I check call again as the river puts a flush out there. I check call again and he shows AsJs. Pfffffft.
I win half a multiway stud 8 pot with AQ high. Sweet!
I get involved in a big stud 8 with Tyler and cardsharps in the final hand of the round. It's bet every round and I hit a wheel on 7th to scoop. I should just be playing stud 8 and going to lunch during all the other games.
And now I've seen everything. In Omaha (of course) seat 5 bets the flop, turn and river with A high and gets called by top pair.
I'm changing the name of it to Omahhhhfuckitha.
$5325 at 2nd break. Treading water. My speciality.
I get blinded down 3300 before I pick up split kings in stud 8. See? I should just be playing stud 8. It's the only thing keeping me alive.
Anyway... I'm up against split aces for seat 5 and split queens for seat 7. I call the aces down till I get Kings up on 6th and put him all in. It holds up and I collect his stack to get back up to 5500.
Tony Ma sits down in seat 5 and some balding little guy with a really bad mohawk, it looks like a comma on his forehead, takes seat 8.
The idiot in seat 1 is winning every hand he plays. It's so gross. I just keep telling myself, "be patient motherfucker!".
The blinds are now at 300/600 and peeps are dropping like flies. I have 3700. Patience!!!
That random guy who final tabled the 50K last year gets moved to seat 8 after horrible Mohawk guy bust by playing a razz hand horribly.
Down to 1900 on the 3rd hand of stud 8 (see?) I get it all in vs the idiot in seat 1 with 8s and 6s against his queens and flush draw. I don't have to sweat it cause an 8 pops out next and I more than double to 5000. Starting stack!!!
In the last hand before dinner break Jerry Buss beats me out of a hand that I would gotten half of. Course he got scooped by the idiot in seat 1.
$3800 at dinner break.
In the 400/800 hold'em level I have to bluff off my whole stack to pick up a pot against Luis Guzman. But as it turns out, my 8 high was good. 4300.
Haha. Jerry Buss still uses a RAZR phone.
After the Canadian busts, Scott Clements takes his seat. Great. He's an Omaha specialist, two bracelets! But he's super short.
I fold every hand in the Omaha round. I don't know if that's good or bad.
Seat 1 idiot and Scott bust out in the same razz hand to Luis Guzman. Miami John takes seat 1. And he has chips. Lovely.
Fuck razz. That's all I'm gonna say about that.
Seat 1 busts. Donk. Of course I didn't get any of his chips. Those all went to Tony Ma.
I'm in life support during stud. Down to 1700 at one point. I. Just. Need. To. Make. It. To. Stud. 8.
So I do make it to stud 8. 80 people left in the tournament and I never had more than 8000 chips. Lovely. I look down at 2s 4s in the hole and a 3s showing. Let's get this shit moving. It's a 4 way pot with Tony Ma, Luis Guzman, and the kid. My 4th street card is the 4c. I don't really like that but I'm moving in on this.
For some reason its checked around. 5th street is a Ks and I get it all in. Luis calls as does the kid. I pick up a 6d on 6th street and it looks like I'm in a good spot to scoop the main pot.
On 7th Luis bets out and the kid calls with trip 7s. Luis has an ace high heart flush. Ok. I can scoop with the ace of spades or get half with a low card. Time to squeeze. I shuffle up the down cards. 4s. Ok I already knew I had that. Red ten. Fuck. I throw down my cards and walk out.
JDN
The other tilter about the Commerce is that if you bust between 3pm and 7pm you get stuck in traffic heading home. Bust out time becomes a real issue here.
I run into Scott Clements and Brian Devonshire shortly before the tournament and get roped into a 30 person last longer. Actually I was the fifth one in and at that time there was only the aforementioned Scott, Devo, Jimmy Fricke (I LOL'd and sent out a couple texts), and some kid with a lol donkaments shirt on. Nerd alert.
Since then it's ballooned to about 30 players and includes the likes of Miami John, Jerry Buss, Maria Ho, Raymond Davis, Mark Gregorich, and assorted other Internet nerds that I don't know.
It's definitely the biggest last longer I've ever been a part of. I also got Devo to promise to manage the list even if he busts.
Table 10 seat 6
Table draw:
Seat 1: rwg
Seat 2: Tyler Patterson, a Canadian
Seat 3: Dr Jerry Buss, who looks exactly like the guy that owns of the Lakers.
Seat 4: a younger skinny white guy that I've played with in vegas and couple of occasions.
Seat 5: rwg with lovely knit sweater on.
Seat 6: JDN
Seat 7: a guy the looks like the actor Luis Guzman but talks like he's from the valley.
Seat 8: don't his real name but his online name is cardsharpsnet. He's a dirty hippy too. He's wearing a grateful dead shirt.
The last longer is up to about 35 players. That's a fifth of the field.
I make myself look like a noob in stud 8, when after 7th street in a big multiway pot I announce my hand as a wheel with 3s up. D'oh!
I didn't even have 3s up. I had 4s up. So poor. A few people have a laugh but I'm the one scooping the big 3k pot. Biacthes!
And Devo is out. First one in the tournament.
I gotta give some kudos to TD Matt Savage. Awesome structure! We start with 5K and blinds start at 50/100. Levels are an hour long and the game changes every 8 hands.
There's no 3 levels of fluff. Every hand counts. Well done sir! I hope the WSOP is listening. But I bet they're not.
And you know they're not listen to the community because this year the lifestyles show is called pokerpalooza. Really? Genius.
$5850 at break. Down from 8K cause I got a little frisky in Omaha.
About half the people at the table are riding Jerry's nuts. I saw this happen at the last LAPC main event when we were at the same table on day 2. He doesn't seem to mind but it bugs me. One of them will be saying this later:
Jerry can't remember the blinds to save his life. It's soooo cute when he acts all confused.
Official count is 212 players which beats my guesstimation.
I'm running so bad in limit omaha. I'm thinking about just sitting out of the game and going to take a dump. It would be more productive than this.
In a hand with Tyler the flop falls K Q T rainbow. I have AAJ9. I flop the nuts as I check call Tyler's bet the turns peels off another T. My nuts go right out the window. I check call again as the river puts a flush out there. I check call again and he shows AsJs. Pfffffft.
I win half a multiway stud 8 pot with AQ high. Sweet!
I get involved in a big stud 8 with Tyler and cardsharps in the final hand of the round. It's bet every round and I hit a wheel on 7th to scoop. I should just be playing stud 8 and going to lunch during all the other games.
And now I've seen everything. In Omaha (of course) seat 5 bets the flop, turn and river with A high and gets called by top pair.
I'm changing the name of it to Omahhhhfuckitha.
$5325 at 2nd break. Treading water. My speciality.
I get blinded down 3300 before I pick up split kings in stud 8. See? I should just be playing stud 8. It's the only thing keeping me alive.
Anyway... I'm up against split aces for seat 5 and split queens for seat 7. I call the aces down till I get Kings up on 6th and put him all in. It holds up and I collect his stack to get back up to 5500.
Tony Ma sits down in seat 5 and some balding little guy with a really bad mohawk, it looks like a comma on his forehead, takes seat 8.
The idiot in seat 1 is winning every hand he plays. It's so gross. I just keep telling myself, "be patient motherfucker!".
The blinds are now at 300/600 and peeps are dropping like flies. I have 3700. Patience!!!
That random guy who final tabled the 50K last year gets moved to seat 8 after horrible Mohawk guy bust by playing a razz hand horribly.
Down to 1900 on the 3rd hand of stud 8 (see?) I get it all in vs the idiot in seat 1 with 8s and 6s against his queens and flush draw. I don't have to sweat it cause an 8 pops out next and I more than double to 5000. Starting stack!!!
In the last hand before dinner break Jerry Buss beats me out of a hand that I would gotten half of. Course he got scooped by the idiot in seat 1.
$3800 at dinner break.
In the 400/800 hold'em level I have to bluff off my whole stack to pick up a pot against Luis Guzman. But as it turns out, my 8 high was good. 4300.
Oh Luis!
Haha. Jerry Buss still uses a RAZR phone.
After the Canadian busts, Scott Clements takes his seat. Great. He's an Omaha specialist, two bracelets! But he's super short.
I fold every hand in the Omaha round. I don't know if that's good or bad.
Seat 1 idiot and Scott bust out in the same razz hand to Luis Guzman. Miami John takes seat 1. And he has chips. Lovely.
Fuck razz. That's all I'm gonna say about that.
Seat 1 busts. Donk. Of course I didn't get any of his chips. Those all went to Tony Ma.
I'm in life support during stud. Down to 1700 at one point. I. Just. Need. To. Make. It. To. Stud. 8.
So I do make it to stud 8. 80 people left in the tournament and I never had more than 8000 chips. Lovely. I look down at 2s 4s in the hole and a 3s showing. Let's get this shit moving. It's a 4 way pot with Tony Ma, Luis Guzman, and the kid. My 4th street card is the 4c. I don't really like that but I'm moving in on this.
For some reason its checked around. 5th street is a Ks and I get it all in. Luis calls as does the kid. I pick up a 6d on 6th street and it looks like I'm in a good spot to scoop the main pot.
On 7th Luis bets out and the kid calls with trip 7s. Luis has an ace high heart flush. Ok. I can scoop with the ace of spades or get half with a low card. Time to squeeze. I shuffle up the down cards. 4s. Ok I already knew I had that. Red ten. Fuck. I throw down my cards and walk out.
JDN
2.10.2009
Venetian $340 Omaha Hi Lo
Yes it's true, I am the reigning champion in Omaha hi lo from the feb 08 Venetian Deep Stack Extravaganza. I feel like Tom Selleck in the classic movie Mr Baseball when he says to his agent after getting traded to a team in Japan, "I led this team in 9th inning doubles with 2 outs fir the month of August!"
Yeah you did buddy.
Well, to be honest, last year it was a $500 tournament and there almost 300 people in it. This time it's only a $300 buy in and only 175 peeps in it. Damn economy!
So I get down to the Venetian at 3:15 for the 3pm start time. Hey! It's limit! The room looks pretty full and when I buy in I notice that the tourney doesn't start till 4. Shiiiiit.
Ok guess I'll go play some video poker and kill an hour.
15 minutes later and $200 down I take a seat a 4/8 limit hold'em game. I like to punish myself.
This mousy guy in a pink shirt sits down to my right and unracks about 400 in red and 200 in white. He begins to tell the table about how much he's won and shit. Quite annoying.
They he starts arguing with the dealer about posting or something. The floor gets called over and makes a ruling while the guy continues to complain about 2 extra dollars. 2 dollars!!!
I ask him if he really is complaining about 2 dollars. He says it's about the principal. Yeah but it's 2 dollars dude.
Then the guy in the pink shirt tells me to shut my mouth.
...
At a 4/8 game.
...
Bwahahahaha!!!1!!!
Ok ok pink shirt tough guy. I can't stop laughing as the dealer tells me to calm down.
I wipe the tears from my eyes and walk over to the tournament area.
Table 52 seat 1 (I hate seat 1!!!)
Table draw:
Seat 1: damn sexy
Seat 2: older white guy
Seat 3: Hawaiian guy
Seat 4: older white guy that uses a fold up knife for a card protector. There might be some legalities there.
Seat 5: tax guy jim. I swear he's at my table every time we play the same tournament.
Seat 6: heavy older white guy with a fat gold chain
Seat 7: older white guy with a beard and a seahawks hat.
Seat 8: empty, but when it fills I bet it gets filled with an older white guy.
Seat 9: older white guy with a molester mustache
Seat 10: older white guy. Nothing special about him.
I make the first break with 13,200. Woof I'm up 700. Now let's try to not to lose it all in the next level.
To my surprise an Asian guy takes seat 8. Good thing too. This table was starting to look like the set of Cocoon. With me as Steve Gutenberg of course.
The floor has announced that players need to keep their big chips out in front. Morons!!! It's limit!
Then they ask the players to stack their chips when they bet so it's easier for the dealers to cut the spilt pots. Morons again!!! The dealers still have to verify the bets. That's when they're supposed to stack the chips. C'mon floor peeps! Don't act like noobs.
I don't write about too many Omaha hands because, well mostly there's just too many cards to keep track off. So here are two hands that sucked for me.
On a board of Q 3 3 7 I hold 2 3 5 7. It gets 3 bet on the turn and I'm the only caller. The river is another Q and seat 6 bets out. There's no way I can win this hand. I fold my 3 7 face up and he shows Q Q 3 x. That's how I like it!!! Drawing dead on the flop!
Then I hold A 2 5 Q in a multi way pot on a board of A 3 Q and I can't improve. Two players catch runner runner flush. One guy, my tax guy, with ten high.
I hate this game.
After tax man jim busts, an older African American lady wearing a Redskins jersey (did they even make the playoffs?) takes his seat. The cast of Cocoon becomes a little more diverse.
Then I lose all of my chips in horrible hand that I can't remember but I was in last place and I'm down to 1300.
I just push the rest of my chips in on the next hand with a 2 3 something something and I'm out after I miss a flush or a low or a straight.
Fuck this shit. I'm going to LA.
JDN
Yeah you did buddy.
Well, to be honest, last year it was a $500 tournament and there almost 300 people in it. This time it's only a $300 buy in and only 175 peeps in it. Damn economy!
So I get down to the Venetian at 3:15 for the 3pm start time. Hey! It's limit! The room looks pretty full and when I buy in I notice that the tourney doesn't start till 4. Shiiiiit.
Ok guess I'll go play some video poker and kill an hour.
15 minutes later and $200 down I take a seat a 4/8 limit hold'em game. I like to punish myself.
This mousy guy in a pink shirt sits down to my right and unracks about 400 in red and 200 in white. He begins to tell the table about how much he's won and shit. Quite annoying.
They he starts arguing with the dealer about posting or something. The floor gets called over and makes a ruling while the guy continues to complain about 2 extra dollars. 2 dollars!!!
I ask him if he really is complaining about 2 dollars. He says it's about the principal. Yeah but it's 2 dollars dude.
Then the guy in the pink shirt tells me to shut my mouth.
...
At a 4/8 game.
...
Bwahahahaha!!!1!!!
Ok ok pink shirt tough guy. I can't stop laughing as the dealer tells me to calm down.
I wipe the tears from my eyes and walk over to the tournament area.
Table 52 seat 1 (I hate seat 1!!!)
Table draw:
Seat 1: damn sexy
Seat 2: older white guy
Seat 3: Hawaiian guy
Seat 4: older white guy that uses a fold up knife for a card protector. There might be some legalities there.
Seat 5: tax guy jim. I swear he's at my table every time we play the same tournament.
Seat 6: heavy older white guy with a fat gold chain
Seat 7: older white guy with a beard and a seahawks hat.
Seat 8: empty, but when it fills I bet it gets filled with an older white guy.
Seat 9: older white guy with a molester mustache
Seat 10: older white guy. Nothing special about him.
I make the first break with 13,200. Woof I'm up 700. Now let's try to not to lose it all in the next level.
To my surprise an Asian guy takes seat 8. Good thing too. This table was starting to look like the set of Cocoon. With me as Steve Gutenberg of course.
The floor has announced that players need to keep their big chips out in front. Morons!!! It's limit!
Then they ask the players to stack their chips when they bet so it's easier for the dealers to cut the spilt pots. Morons again!!! The dealers still have to verify the bets. That's when they're supposed to stack the chips. C'mon floor peeps! Don't act like noobs.
I don't write about too many Omaha hands because, well mostly there's just too many cards to keep track off. So here are two hands that sucked for me.
On a board of Q 3 3 7 I hold 2 3 5 7. It gets 3 bet on the turn and I'm the only caller. The river is another Q and seat 6 bets out. There's no way I can win this hand. I fold my 3 7 face up and he shows Q Q 3 x. That's how I like it!!! Drawing dead on the flop!
Then I hold A 2 5 Q in a multi way pot on a board of A 3 Q and I can't improve. Two players catch runner runner flush. One guy, my tax guy, with ten high.
I hate this game.
After tax man jim busts, an older African American lady wearing a Redskins jersey (did they even make the playoffs?) takes his seat. The cast of Cocoon becomes a little more diverse.
Then I lose all of my chips in horrible hand that I can't remember but I was in last place and I'm down to 1300.
I just push the rest of my chips in on the next hand with a 2 3 something something and I'm out after I miss a flush or a low or a straight.
Fuck this shit. I'm going to LA.
JDN
2.07.2009
Venetian $500 Deep Stack
It's another rainy day in Vegas. I don't get to say that much but my windshield wipers aren't working and I need to point it out. Well, actually my passenger's side wiper is working perfectly. WTF?
The last few days have been a bit of a rollercoaster for me. I geeked my wrist hitting a ball out of the sand. This stopped masturbation for a few days, then on Thursday I final table the FTOPS PLO8 and was in a good position to take it down before I lost two back to back hands where I was a 72% favorite (thanks to Jeremiah "That Donkey" Smith for running the numbers). I finished 7th and needless to say I was a bit disappointed.
On Friday I had to get 3 stiches in my ass cheek. Don't ask, it's a long story. Katkin said I should roll with it and tell people I was shot. I could call myself 25 cent.
As you can tell Katkin is very white. I'm gonna call myself Nickle Cent.
This is the only Deep Stack I'll get to play before I go to LA to play of all things, the LAPC. Better make it count.
Table 28 Seat 2
15k in starting chips with 40 minute levels.
Table draw:
Seat 1: younger guy that looks like Emile Hirsch in Alpha Dog
Seat 2: JDN
Seat 3: an older creepy pedo bear type of guy. I won't go into it because he already busted
Seat 4: Shaky. This guy must have Parkinson's disease. He's wobbling like Muhammad Ali.
Seat 5: a younger east coast guy that's a dead ringer for johnny bax at 25.
Seat 6: big bingo lady with the mega bedazzled shirt and tight jacket combo.
Seat 7: creepy Ginger with a circa '99 chin length flavor saver. He totally looks like Shaft from Rob Liefield's Youngblood.
Seat 8: random latin guy
Seat 9: rwg that never saw a hand that he didn't like
Seat 10: rwg
I catch the creepy ginger bluffing with 9 high in a 10K pot at the end of level 2. He had been playing way too many hands for me to respect him, so I called him down with tens in a board of 3 K K 7 4.
Lacey Jones stops by to say hi and I briefly consider tell her about my ass wound before I decide to let it go.
The Venetian cocktail waitresses, which are way better, in every aspect, to the Caesars ones, have new outfits. That means no more accidental nip slips. Damn! That was half the reason I used to come here to play.
Speaking of asses, mine is starting to hurt.
I'm convinced that Shaky can't read his hands. I just say him limp in early position with 92 off and bet out on a flop of T T T.
I just continue to punish seat 10. I've gotten about half my chips from him. I've caught him firing with ace high twice and had him bet into me when I turned broadway. I hope someone doubles him up soon.
$24,675 at first break. Not bad. Now I gotta find some Advil.
For some reason after break I get all frisky and give away about 5k. I have no idea why I did it and I don't even think I played the hands bad. Maybe that greasy slice of pizza threw off judgment center of my brain.
Creepy Ginger cracks my kings with A7. Sweet!
The hemorrhage continues.
I order a spicy bloody mary to get myself back on track.
Bloody Mary didn't help. I've manage to spew over 8k in less than 30 minutes while never facing a bet bigger than 1100.
Then I raise from early position with 88 and get called by young Johhny Bax before the creepy ginger reraises to 2000. I have to call. So I do. Bax folds then flop rolls out J 4 8. I check and he bets 2500. I call putting him on a wide range of hands. He could have AA, KK, QQ, AK, AQ, or even an a smaller pair. I don't think he has jacks because of the preflop reraise. The turn is a Q. Ick. I don't like that card at all. I don't consider T9 a possibly but I'm gonna check anyway.
Then he takes his time to make his move. Weird. He fiddles with his chips for a while before moving in. This screams AA or KK to me. I call and he shows QQ.
Shiiiiiiiit.
I'm down to 800. I've lost 24K in one level. Awesome.
The very next hand the ginger reraises it up again and seat 1 calls. The flop falls J 8 4, I shit you not. Seat 1 checks as the ginger bets out 2000. Seat 1 raises to 6000 and the creepy ginger folds QQ face up... I guess I played it wrong.
A few hands later I move in for 775 with 99 and get flat called by the big bingo lady. Everyone else folds. She shows JJ and flops a J. Sweet. I'm outta here.
But not before I hit up the video poker bar where I get ID'd before getting a free beer. I love how you can lose $550 without them IDing you but try to get a comp'd beer, "Let's see your ID."
The lady tells me its a complement and I tell her its annoying. She looks at my drivers license and says we're the same age and how she would love to be ID'd. I almost say "lay of the crack," but I hold my tongue and piss $100 away.
So does one do after being beaten down by the unholy trifecta of the creepy ginger, big bingo lady, and crackhead bartender? You head to Casino Royal of course. 100x craps!!
I buy in for $100 and roll 5 points before I 7 out. Sweet! I got some of my dough back.
JDN
The last few days have been a bit of a rollercoaster for me. I geeked my wrist hitting a ball out of the sand. This stopped masturbation for a few days, then on Thursday I final table the FTOPS PLO8 and was in a good position to take it down before I lost two back to back hands where I was a 72% favorite (thanks to Jeremiah "That Donkey" Smith for running the numbers). I finished 7th and needless to say I was a bit disappointed.
On Friday I had to get 3 stiches in my ass cheek. Don't ask, it's a long story. Katkin said I should roll with it and tell people I was shot. I could call myself 25 cent.
Ewww
As you can tell Katkin is very white. I'm gonna call myself Nickle Cent.
This is the only Deep Stack I'll get to play before I go to LA to play of all things, the LAPC. Better make it count.
Table 28 Seat 2
15k in starting chips with 40 minute levels.
Table draw:
Seat 1: younger guy that looks like Emile Hirsch in Alpha Dog
Seat 2: JDN
Seat 3: an older creepy pedo bear type of guy. I won't go into it because he already busted
Seat 4: Shaky. This guy must have Parkinson's disease. He's wobbling like Muhammad Ali.
Seat 5: a younger east coast guy that's a dead ringer for johnny bax at 25.
Seat 6: big bingo lady with the mega bedazzled shirt and tight jacket combo.
Seat 7: creepy Ginger with a circa '99 chin length flavor saver. He totally looks like Shaft from Rob Liefield's Youngblood.
Seat 8: random latin guy
Seat 9: rwg that never saw a hand that he didn't like
Seat 10: rwg
I catch the creepy ginger bluffing with 9 high in a 10K pot at the end of level 2. He had been playing way too many hands for me to respect him, so I called him down with tens in a board of 3 K K 7 4.
Lacey Jones stops by to say hi and I briefly consider tell her about my ass wound before I decide to let it go.
The Venetian cocktail waitresses, which are way better, in every aspect, to the Caesars ones, have new outfits. That means no more accidental nip slips. Damn! That was half the reason I used to come here to play.
Speaking of asses, mine is starting to hurt.
I'm convinced that Shaky can't read his hands. I just say him limp in early position with 92 off and bet out on a flop of T T T.
I just continue to punish seat 10. I've gotten about half my chips from him. I've caught him firing with ace high twice and had him bet into me when I turned broadway. I hope someone doubles him up soon.
$24,675 at first break. Not bad. Now I gotta find some Advil.
For some reason after break I get all frisky and give away about 5k. I have no idea why I did it and I don't even think I played the hands bad. Maybe that greasy slice of pizza threw off judgment center of my brain.
Creepy Ginger cracks my kings with A7. Sweet!
The hemorrhage continues.
I order a spicy bloody mary to get myself back on track.
Bloody Mary didn't help. I've manage to spew over 8k in less than 30 minutes while never facing a bet bigger than 1100.
Then I raise from early position with 88 and get called by young Johhny Bax before the creepy ginger reraises to 2000. I have to call. So I do. Bax folds then flop rolls out J 4 8. I check and he bets 2500. I call putting him on a wide range of hands. He could have AA, KK, QQ, AK, AQ, or even an a smaller pair. I don't think he has jacks because of the preflop reraise. The turn is a Q. Ick. I don't like that card at all. I don't consider T9 a possibly but I'm gonna check anyway.
Then he takes his time to make his move. Weird. He fiddles with his chips for a while before moving in. This screams AA or KK to me. I call and he shows QQ.
Shiiiiiiiit.
I'm down to 800. I've lost 24K in one level. Awesome.
The very next hand the ginger reraises it up again and seat 1 calls. The flop falls J 8 4, I shit you not. Seat 1 checks as the ginger bets out 2000. Seat 1 raises to 6000 and the creepy ginger folds QQ face up... I guess I played it wrong.
A few hands later I move in for 775 with 99 and get flat called by the big bingo lady. Everyone else folds. She shows JJ and flops a J. Sweet. I'm outta here.
But not before I hit up the video poker bar where I get ID'd before getting a free beer. I love how you can lose $550 without them IDing you but try to get a comp'd beer, "Let's see your ID."
The lady tells me its a complement and I tell her its annoying. She looks at my drivers license and says we're the same age and how she would love to be ID'd. I almost say "lay of the crack," but I hold my tongue and piss $100 away.
So does one do after being beaten down by the unholy trifecta of the creepy ginger, big bingo lady, and crackhead bartender? You head to Casino Royal of course. 100x craps!!
I buy in for $100 and roll 5 points before I 7 out. Sweet! I got some of my dough back.
JDN
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