New Orleans WSOPC

New Orleans $5K WOSPC

Jackson Square

I'm not going to lie. Its fucking cold in new orleans. At least in the casino it is. The temperature is so different from outside the casino that Im worried that my lungs will collaspe if I wander in and out too many times during the day.

The Stunning One and Chris... Bell the night before the main event.

Table draw:
Seat 1: The Syringe. This guy left the table for a good half an hour during the first level to get a sangwich but he waited to get back to the table to shoot up his what I'm assuming is his insulin. Never seen that at the poker table.
Seat 2: young buck with a card runners sweatshirt on. He seems to know his shit and plays like he's watched a lot of CR videos.
Seat 3: a complete donk... JDN
Seat 4: random southern white guy
Seat 5: random Asian. Non-sag but total retard. He's exposing hands during play, touching other peoples cards and chips and being an all around moron.
Seat 6: random older southern white guy with two sets of glasses on
Seat 7: The Russian.
Seat 8: random southern white guy
Seat 9: The Stunning One Bill Edler


Hey! I spy John Little! Hope that's really him playing. Rim shot please.

1st break 7k

2nd break. Treading water with 7k.

The Russian calls my river bet with ace high and its good. So poor.

Bill is locking his cup while thinking about his hand. Yuck. I think is an involentary action and he has no idea that he's doing it. I tell him after the hand, which he wins with a gutter ball on the river, that if we're ever in a hand together he absolutely cannot lick his cup. He said, "Oh was I licking my coffee cup?"

"Yes you were. I've seen porno with less tongue in them." I respond.

Shortly there after I ask Bill to make me some change with a 1k chip. I flip the chip to him but the moron in seat 5 grabs it and tries to give me change. I tell him I don't want it from him, I want it from Bill. He asks why he can't give me change and I tell him that he's bad luck.

I tell him to give it to Bill but he won't. He gives Bill the change and Bill sends me 2 $500 chips. Fucking idiot.

I get widdled down to 3k or so in the 3rd level. I limp in late position with KQ off behind a couple of limpers. The moron in seat 5 raises the blind 5x. Ok he's got 99. Seat 1 calls as do I. The flop comes Q 3 5. Seat 1 checks and I ship it. Moron can't get his chips in quick enough has seat 1 folds. I show my KQ and moron shows obvious remorse for calling. He's got TT. Turns is a T and I'm out. I wanted to kick this tard in the teeth for being an annoying moron all day. I thought about the psyhics of jump kicking him over the table but decided to go back to the hotel and beat my GF.

World Series here I come on a down swing.

JDN

Canada lll

$1000 bound tourney
We got a live one!

Table draw:
Seat 1: JDN
Seat 2: Davidson Matthews (This guy has to be the Canadian Ted Lawson. There's no real reason why he should be able to make a living in poker, but he does.)
Seat 3: Asian Canadian
Seat 4: Scotty Wilson (Scott used to run Paradise poker. Now he's just lazy.)
Seat 5: Asian Canadian
Seat 6: Asian Canadian
Seat 7: Asian Canadian
Seat 8: Canadian

In the first orbit I run my jacks into the set of eights of Scotty Wilson. But I'm pretty sure I lost the minimum when I fold them face up on the turn.

I got it all back in a 3 way pot with Scotty and Mr. Matthews with a board of Q Q 7 2 7. My 9s are goot as Scott declares that he was counterfeited and I'm back to 10k. How the hell was he counterfeited on that river? Huh? I'm confused.

That doesn't last long, after a table break I bust out putting a squeeze play on a couple of retards. Once calls saying he needs to get lucky. Good call goofball and I'm outsky.

Goal of suriving through the 3rd level is crushed.

My girlfriend flies into town and my maturity level jumps at least 4 years above my normal level of that as a 14 year old.

$3k main event
I'm not going to lie. I'm hung over. The tourney starts at a Canadian noon (12:30) and I look over at the clock and its 1:00. Oops. I better buy in.

Table draw:
Seat 1: Asian Canadian
Seat 2: Asian Canadian
Seat 3: old Canadian cowboy with massive banana hands. He's missing a pinkie finger. Never a good sign at a poker table but he can't play lick.
Seat 4: Canadian
Seat 5: French canadian. Totally looks like a mini version Frenchy the lumberjack. Mullet and all.
Seat 6: Canadian
Seat 7: JDN
Seat 8: Canadian
Seat 9: Asian Canadian
Seat 10: Canadian

First break 20k. Started with 15k. Thats all I have in my notes. I was up till 8:30am the night/morning before the tournament and I was not fully coherent. I remember a couple of hands and I made what I believe was a sick call against seat 9.

Under the gun limped for 200 and I called in cut off with A4 off. Seat 9 in the small blind made it 600 to go and the limper and I both called. The flop was Q 2 5. Seat 9 fired out 600 as quickly as possible. Spider sense tingling. Limper folded and I thought a moment before calling. The turn is another deuce and Seat 9 ships it for his last 2500. Hmmmm. Everything smells fishy. KJ maybe. He could definitely do have KJ. Makes sense. I tell him I think he's on complete air and I call. He says good call and turns up K6 off. I show my A4 and the table ohhs and ahhs. River is a 3 for good measure and I rake the pot. The dealer then says, "Wow, he called with a gut shot."

Canadians... I was calling with an Ace dingleberry.

I make another call with Queen high and win. This table is mine. Too bad they break it after I double up two people and am left with 8k. Bah!

I get moved to seat 8 of a table and Devo happens to be in seat 9. Buy me a beer bitch. Booze on its way but the lack of sleep has my hands shaking like a drug addict.

I double up to 15k with 88 on a 3 6 7 board. I get the orginal raiser to call my all in bet. He says that he has a draw and opens up 44. Devo insightfully states that 44 is a draw on a 3 6 7 board in Canada.

I bust on the very next hand with AK vs AA. For added measure the douche bag slow rolls me on the turn.

Fuck this place I'm outta here.

JDN

Canada Part Duex

My cell phone is ringing. I can sleep through that. The room phone is rigging. Fuckers! This is a day off. No tournaments! I pick the phone. No ones there. Am I high? Cell phone rings again. Its Bobo.

"Come Down stairs. We're leaving in 15 min." He says. "... ok." I reply.

I get up. My head is pounding. I change the underroos but put on the same clothes from yesterday. No time for a shower. We're leaving in 15 minutes. We're the fuck are we going?

I stumble down stairs and meet up with Gavin, Bobo, Cowboy Kenna James, Lacey, and Devo. Where are we going?

I climb into the back of Gav's Escalade with Devo as Kenna drives and Lacey rides shotgun. Gavin and Bobo jump on their bikes and follow us. WTF?

"Devo!? Where are we going?" I ask. "Whistler." He replies.

Fuck. Thats not close. I'll take a nap.

About a half an hour into the ride I try to lay down in the back of the truck to get some real sleep. That lasts for all of 10 minutes before something in mah tummy starts to turn. I might vomit. Its an odd sensation for someone like me. I don't puke very often. Its probably been 5 years since my last hurl and its never because I drank too much. Usually its bad fish or sour cream that will make me toss my cookies.

I get back in my seat and roll down the window. This is really going to happen. Fuck. Its a child safe window and it only rolls half way down. I gotta turn my head sideways to get it out of the window. I see Gavin and Bobo behind us and I smile at them. Dry heave #1. After the 3rd one I let it rip. Baaarf!

Going 100 KPH and puking is an interesting experience. A first for me. The vomit basically sides down the side of the car and then kinda splash off the back end.

In between upchucks I look back at the guys on the bikes. Gavin is just shaking his head and Bobo is laughing his ass off. Probably not a good idea to being laughing while driving a motorcycle at 60 MPH.

Baaarf!

One of the onions that I ate last night makes an encore and sticks to the outside handle of the Escalade. That was good. I didn't want to lose that. Dang.

Once done with my evacuation, I roll the window back up and return to my seat. Lacey asks, "Are you ok?"

"I am now. Let's eat!" Yum!

After lunch we made our way up to Whistler and settled into a local pub that had the absolute worst food evar! I know that we had just had lunch but we needed more. The pizza was shit and according to Kenna the chicken wings were the driest thing he's ever put in his mouth...

Kenna also introduced us to his speech impediment. For whatever reason he liked to repeat words twice. It was like watching that old fast food commercial, "Double double cheese cheese burger burger please please."

He also couldn't say Devo's complete name in one breath. It was always, "Brian Devon... wait for it... shire." Or "Brian Devon of the Shire." Hobbit loving mofo.

Beer + hot sauce = goot!

Lacey earned the new nickname Hazey Jones for several responses of, "What? Why? Who?"

A bet was made on the breed of a dog sitting on the other side of the pub. Gavin deemed it to be a purebred and I called bullshit. $200 bet and Gavin was walking over to the owners. The dog stood up as he approached and I was praying for the dog to attack.

Gavin returned to the table and asked, "What's the defination of a mutt?"

"That dog over there." I responed. The dog was mix between a collie, a timber wolf, and a grey wolf. Who the hell put all those dogs together in the same pen? That's like a killer Lassie.

So wiki'ed the word mutt for further clarification and interestingly enough we stumbled upon the word "Mutta" which is swedish slang for vagina. And its on!

Poor Hazey... if she only knew what she was in for. Hazey, how's your mutta? How do you groom your mutta? Hazey, who's your mutta? Its a joke that didn't stop being funny for the entire trip. It got us in some trouble more than once and we pretty much asked every woman the question, "How's your mutta?" Juvenile at best but still damn funny.

Pic stolen from devopoker.com. Notice I'm wearing the same clothes.

On our way back to Vancouver Devo went into full hippy mode. Talking about how beautiful everything was. How it was so amazing that we saw a bobcat (ok bobcats are cool) and deer in the last few minutes. How he wanted to hike through the mountains. How I wanted to shoot him if he said one more thing was beautiful. Bah! Get me back to civilization and concrete. I need the internet. Connectivitly is a beautiful thing. There's trees all over the place. Hippy.

OK. Its kinda neat to look at. Gavin, Bobo and Kenna view the view. I'm considering pushing one of them over the edge.

Tomorrow is the $1k bounty tournament. My goal is to last past the 3rd level.

JDN

Canada Part 1

Canada used to be a place I would go to with $100 in my pocket and magically, when I crossed the border, I had $150. Not any more. When I was in Niagara Falls in Nov. the Canadian dollar was actually worth more than the US dollar. So poor.

Today the US dollar is worth $1.01 in Canadian. That’s not even including the vig that the casino charges you to exchange money. So we’re getting 96 cents Canadian for and a US dollar. I feel fleeced. I need a drink. As soon as I check into my room at the River Rock casino I call Gavin to see whats up.

I meet ole’ GSmith, Bobo, Lacey Jones, Brian Devonshire, Ryan, and the random Aussies that decided it was a good idea to drive from Vegas to Vancouver. There’s a reason we have planes people! So we don’t have to drive!

We hang around the casino that night and have a few drinks. A couple of drinks. Well… a lot of drinks. I make it to my room safe and sound and not forgetting to set my alarm before I drift off to neverland.

$500 No Limit Tournament

I'm not going to lie. I'm hung over. Little did I know that this was going to be a theme throughout this trip…

Table Draw!

Seat 1: Canadian
Seat 2: Asian Canadian
Seat 3: Canadian
Seat 4: Canadian
Seat 5: JDN
Seat 6: Asian Canadian
Seat 7: Canadian
Seat 8: Canadian
Seat 9: Asian Canadian
Seat 10: Canadian
Seat 11: Asian canadian

Yes were 11 handed. Aiyeah. I haven’t played 11 handed since my Hollywood Park days.

After 4 hands seat 1 asks the floor when is the break.

There must be some kind of outbreak here. Everyone is sniffling and coughing and hacking up green stuff. My table has turned into a disgusting version of Stomp.

The concept of preflop betting does not exist in Canada. Most players are betting 6 to 10 times the big blind preflop. This is great. Now if I could just stop calling the turn reraise I will be golden.

Seat 1 looks like a skinny sir Anthony Hopkins. He’s had aces twice and gotten all in preflop twice to bust two peeps. Blinds are 25/50.

A guy got moved our table and I swear he has the flying spaghetti monster tattoo on his arm. Or it’s an eagle next to the moon but the flying spaghetti monster would be much cooler.

Seat 1 busted another player. That's at least 3 for him and he's got 20k in chips already. My 2500 looks strong. Riiiight.

A few orbits later and I get my 77 in on a board of Q Q 4, thinking that it might be good but I’m drawing dead on the turn.

Well, at least now I can go back to sleep. Of course that doesn’t last long because my life partner, gavin, is soon to bust after me.

We gather the troops and head into downtown Vancouver for some food and fun. Have a few drinks. Meet some friends that live in DC. Have a few more drinks. We search for an open bar. Find an Irish pub that’s open late. Someone is making me drink Jager Bombs. Sebok’s not here so I’m not sure who’s giving them to me.

The last thing I remember was looking the up through the bottom of a beer mug with a shot glass in it.

Don't remember this being taken.

Don't remember how I did this.

I remember getting back to the casino to watch Devo win the $500 tournament. I also remember calling him a vagina for making a deal when it was 4 or 5 handed. The tournament staff was great though. They broke out the first aid kit to bandage my hand.

Before bed time I felt like playing some blackjack but the security at the casino wouldn't let me onto the casino floor cause I was too drunk. As I tried to walk in I was grabbed by the collar and the security guard told Gavin and Bobo that I couldn't go in there. He was just holding me by the collar and not even talking to me. All I heard him saying was, "I'm a guard. A guard... guard."

Like Gav was my handler. We walked away defeated but I felt like I won and I told the guard, "Thank you for not letting me in and letting lose my money!"

JDN

The Greatest Story Evar? Possibly Yes.

During the Bellagio Championship (congrats David Chiu) a story came to light that a friend shared with me and I in turn will publish on the world wide web.

The story starts with a girl. She’s frantic. She’s yelling. She’s at the main cage trying to cash out but they will not honor the $500 value of the chip. Why won’t they honor it? Well, the chip clearly states that it has “no cash value.”

This girl is a working girl and she has been paid by, and all signs point to, a poker player. A player who wished to procure her services for the price of 1 $500 tournament chip.

Now what is the bigger sin? Ripping off a hooker or stealing tournament chips?

Word from the floor is that it happens all the time and that there’s more. No!

Yes. Another facet to the scam is that a poker player will hire a prostitute for a set amount of money. Say $600. Once the deed is done, 5 minutes later, and its time to pay up, the poker player will tell the pro that they only have a $1000 chip. A $1000 tournament chip. Of course they need change.

So not only are they stealing tournament chips and ripping off dumb hookers, they’re also turning a profit. That’s positive EV.

JDN

Matt Savage – 0, Golf Cart – 1

It was a pleasant day on the 10th hole at TPC canyons. We had just teed off and Layne and I were a seconds behind the other cart containing Matt Savage and Phil Gordon. We lost sight of them as they turned the corner and Layne and I discussed the pros and cons of being in the other fairway on this hole.

As we turned the aforementioned corner a sight lay before us that took me several seconds to comprehend. Why was Matt laying face first on the concert cart path? Was he looking for his ball or doing sprinkler maintenance? Layne observed, “Look at this twinkie here.”

Layne, being thoughtful human that he is, drove right past Matt’s limp body and said, “Walk it off.” We had to find his ball in the trees on the other fairway and it took precedence over injuries.

Phil is obviously new to cart driving techniques and apparently he turned into the turn, hit the curb and bounced poor Matt out of the cart.

Matt pared the hole and requested some Neosporin from the snack lady.

JDN

Ceasars Circuit Day Two

Play starts again at 2. So I wake up drink some shitty lemonade and play some call of duty. Shooting people always puts me in a good mood and shortly after I head on down to the strip.

Two of the players are wearing suits. Really? You're getting dressed up for the final 15 of a $500 circuit event? Granted I wore my lucky bright orange New Balances but the whole suit thing is a bit overkill.



We start off in the same seats as before with Men to my right and the chip leader to my left. We play a few hands before the shortest stack busts at the other table and we have to balance the tables. The poker gods were on my side today. The big blind at our table is moved to the other one. Good bye Mr. Master. Who says there's no luck in poker? The table is mine and it doesn't take long for me get involved in a hand with the temporary chip leader.

Its folded around to me in the small blind and I make a 2.5x raise (I can't remember what the blinds were) with 9h 5s. The big blind calls and the flop comes 5d As 2d. I bet out, somewhere in the neighborhood of 15k. He calls. The turn is an 8c and I fire out 42k. I remember this amount cause I had to used my 1k chips to make the bet. I was out of 5k ones. He deliberates for a moment before calling. Maybe he has a weak ace but it seems like more of a flush draw. I've played a few blind vs blind hands against him and he is totally capable of reraising the flop with a weak ace.

The river is a 3h and I shove. I'm sticking to my flush draw read, and I may very well have the best hand. He thinks for a while and asks me if I'm on a busted flush draw. He folds. New chip leader with about 260k. During the next hand he says he had an ace. So I have to tell him that he made a good lay down cause I had A5.

A few more short stacks bust and we get down to the final table pretty dang fast. I come to the table 2nd in chips with 319k and the chip leader is two to my left with 340k. Men is in the 9 seat with about 150k and the other good player, Louis Lee, was two to my right with 215k.

The official WSOPC press release on the final table can be read here.

The press release is a little inaccurate. I won 5 of the first 6 hands at the table, busting out the short stack too, and I never lost the chip lead at that point. I didn't have to do a lot. I just kept raising 2.5x the blind and they kept folding.

and Men pushed all in. I fold! AK vs Men's When we got down to 4 I pissed of Men by reraising him two hands in a row preflop with AQ and KK. He said, "You kept raising me with shit..." in his little munchin voice and it made me laugh. For the next few hands he just stares at me, muttering to himself, shooting icey daggers of death into my soul with this beady little eyes. Well, I can stoke this fire a little bit. I min raised Men's big blind from the button with 2s 4s. Small blind reraised and Men moves in. AK vs Men's AQ and he's a goner. Down to 3.

Again it didn't take long for me to get involved in a big pot with the guy 2nd in chips to my left. Blind vs blind again. In the small blind I raise it up with K4 and he calls. With a flop of 2 3 5 I lead out with another bet. He grabs some more chips and I decide to shove if reraises me. Of course he reraises and I put it all in. He asks me if I have AQ and he calls. WTF? top pair? A5? No. He had the ole' Q2 in what is probably one of the worst calls evar. So I need a 4, a 6, an ace or a king to win. Ding! 6 ball on the turn! Its over. The dealer throws a ace on the river for me too. I have a 6 card straight.

Heads up! Its been a while since I won a NL tournament. Probably a Binions one in the August was the last. I got a shirt for that one. At the circuit events they give you rings but they're generic and don't have the tournament engraved on the them. A little weak imo. Venetian at least put the date and tournaments on their trophies.



My opponent was Louis Lee. He was a good player, conservative and maybe a bit too tight, but a good player none the less. I would have preferred to get heads up with the other guy but with a five and a half to one chip lead it didn't matter. I kept telling myself, "Don't pull a Gus, don't pull a Gus." It seemed to work.

He asked if I wanted to talk about a deal but I told him that I don't do deals. He was fine with that. It wouldn't have even made sense to do a save with the chip lead that I had.

Also going in my favor was that I had Louis absolutely convinced that I had no idea what I was doing. When I was moved to the Hollywood Dave table the night before Louis was two to my left. When Dave asked if I played online I responded with, "I don't play much online." Which is mostly true but when he asked me about fold equity, I said, "I don't even know what that means."

A few hand later I pulled what appeared to be a stop and go and Louis mentioned it, telling me I executed it perfectly. Not like its hard to do that but my reply was, "What's a stop and go?"

Again, none of this really mattered at this point because I had 1.2 million to his 240k.

Heads up lasted all of 3 hands. We both folded the small blind once and on the 3rd hand I raised from the button with T9. Louis called and and the flop came T 7 4. I bet out and he called. The turn a 2 and I put him all in. He called pretty quick and I was worried he had a JT or QT. Nope. He had a T7. Oh well. Even if he doubles I still have a million in chips. As the dealer burned a card I stared at the deck. A nine would be nice. 9 of diamonds on the river. Ship it!

Even the dealer was shocked. He didn't want to look at Louis. He didn't even put the card up with the rest of the board. He just left it back by his tray.

Louis was a little dramatic but its too be excepted. I shook his hand. GG sir. GG.



Winner winner chicken dinner. I'm still on this stupid fast so I couldn't celebrate in the normal way and I almost left the ring at the cashier. There would be no dinner with friends. No drinks with Gavin. So I walked down to the Nike Store in the Forum shops and bought 3 new pairs of shoes.

This was one of the weirdest tournaments and weakest fields I've ever played. In retrospect it was the prefect day to play a $500 tournament in the middle of the strip. It was Sunday and all the internet kids would be playing online. There were mostly middle aged men, some of their wives, and tourist playing. I rarely showed a non-all in hand and I'm pretty sure I only opened up a 4 hands between 50k and the win. The last time I was all in preflop was in the 3rd level with AJ vs TT.

I never had any big hands. I only had AA once and KK twice during the whole tournament and all of those hands were won preflop. I only had one full house, when I flopped it against a drunk guy late on day 1 and I can't remember getting a flush at all. I might have had one but I can't remember because I'm light headed from not eating for 4 days. Whatever. A win is a win and 70k is 70k.

Next I'm off to Canada and the River Rock Casino for a couple of small buy in WPT events.

JDN