$340 + $10 Floor Staff Bonus Venetian Deep Stack Tournament

Is that Layne Flack on the left?

I get to the Venetian about an hour before the start of the tourney to meet up with a hot MILF for breakfast. The inherent problem with MILFs is the whole kids "thing."

Damn toddlers got me stood up.

I did the next best thing and had breakfast with old man Katkin. Not nearly as hot but at least he puts out.

12K in chips, 40 minute levels, here we go.

Table 29 seat 2

And the table breaks. Damn it. It's the greatest table evar! 3 old people who are clueless, a couple of young dudes swinging the poker cocks around, a female Asian commerce player and a crazy agro middle aged white chick. Epic.

I make a couple thousand before the table breaks and I'm sent out to the loud ass casino.

Table 67 seat 6

Table draw:
Seat 1: RWG
Seat 2: Random Internet Nerd
Seat 3: Random Internet Nerd #2
Seat 4: empty
Seat 5: empty
Seat 6: JDN
Seat 7: ROWG from the first table.
Seat 8: Random Club Bro. Affliction shirt, check. Muscles, check. Bad tattoos, check. Bad hair, check.

And my table breaks. WTF?!

At least I pick up aces on the last hand before the table breaks.

New table 45 seat 5

Table draw:
Seat 1: RWG with sunglasses and a hat.
Seat 2: RWG with sunglasses and a hat.
Seat 3: RWG with bad skin and thinning hair.
Seat 4: Random Latino Guy with sunglasses.
Seat 5: JDN
Seat 6: Random Internet Nerd
Seat 7: RWG
Seat 8: RLG with sunglasses and a hat.
Seat 9: RWG with sunglasses and a hat.
Seat 10: RWG with sunglasses and a hat.

I see a theme here.

The idiot in seat 8 just announced that he folded a set of 6s on a flop 6 5 4. He's such a r'tard, that I believe him.

Just saw the greatest hand ever! EVAR!

The R'tard in seat 8 raises to 850 with blinds at 100/200. The slow guy in seat 9 calls but he can't count so it takes about 3 minutes to get his chips out past the blind. I fold my big blind, Tc4c, and the flops falls Qh Th 6h.

The R'tard bets 300 and the slow guy snap moves in for 10K. Wait! What?

All kinds of awesomeness going down on this table.

21K at break.

Argument about playing brick breaker while in a hand just broke out between the r'tard, floor, and the ROWG in seat 10. I swear I'm riding the short bus.

Blargh. I raise to 1100 in early position with 55 and slow guy moves in for just under 7K. Then the big guy in the Phillies hat moves all in for less than 5K. Meh.

I call. The slow guy shows KQ off and the big guys shows AJ off. I got no chance.

The flop is K T Q. Slow guy walks away.

Blank blank and big guy rakes the main pot and someone has to grab the slow guy and tell him he's won the side pot.

Still got 26K.

Random Club Bro gets moved to my table.

Dude!

Sweet!

With blinds at 300/600 50 I'm on the big blind and the old guy in seat 10, who I now realize is wearing two hats, limps. The big guy in seat 2 raises to 2500. And then I pick up a tell...

Every time this middle aged woman comes over and talks to him he raises the hand. She's a mildly attractive 45 year old with a exposed midriff and a midlife crisis bellybutton piercing swimming around in her loose 2.3 kids belly skin.

He wants to tap that. But they're just friends.

Obv he's in love. He wants to show off.

I reraise to 8000 with Kh7h. I don't mind if the old guy with two hats moves in for his 10K. I just want smack the big guy with a boner down.

They both fold. Ha ha!

Embarrassing iPod song of the day: Clumsy by Fergie.

33K at break.

Just from break I loose 25K with JJ vs KK. The razor sunglasses lady to my left just flat called my reraise of 6500 and snap shoved on the flop of T 9 3.

It looked like a stop'n'go, which I gave her credit for knowing what that was.

15k as the table breaks.

Don't last long at this table as I'm blinded down to 8 big blinds before a I shove with Jd4d from the small blind. I hit a 4 at least.

Gonna go home and do this.

JDN

$340 Venetian Deep Stack

It's a bright and sunny day in Vegas. Everything is new and clean. I'm wearing some nice clean Air Max 95s. I put new music on my iPod. The dogs let me sleep till 11am.

All is good.

I get to the Venetian but I forgot my players card. No worries. I'll just get another one from the guy at the table that looks like Jimmy Fricke's mini me.

I buy in for $340 and the TD tells me that it's $350 if I want the extra 2000 in chips for the dealer bonus. I say no thanks. (mostly cause I'm too lazy to dig through my pocket to find another $10).

After they take the 2000 out if my stack I realize that my iPod isn't charged. But that's ok, I have a back up. It's all good.

$10,000 in chips, 40 minute levels.

Table 16 seat 6

Table draw aka Holy shit I swear I'm in Atlantic City!:

The table is full bedazzled shirts and looks to be 80% east coasters. This should a great table.

Annnnd then it breaks. But that's ok, the next table is going to be even better.

I get to the new table with 9725.

Table 71 seat 9

Table draw:
Seat 1: Random Black Guy wearing a WSOPC ring on each hand. Tacky!
Seat 2: Random White Guy with an Ed Hardy shirt.
Seat 3: Random Older White Guy with a Jagermiester hat on.
Seat 4: Random Younger White Guy with a voice like Louis Armstrong.
Seat 5: Random Asian Guy. SAG factor: low. Ed Hardy shirt is a go!
Seat 6: Random White Guy with lots of studs and shiny things on his hat and shirt. Brand unknown.
Seat 7: Random Older White Guy.
Seat 8: A younger version of Miami John that doesn't speak English.
Seat 9: JDN
Seat 10: Busted as soon as I sat down.

Hey there's Jon Friedberg! He comes over say hi and I pick up AK. Sweet! I get it all in on the river when the board runs out 8s 7c Kc 7h Ad. The RBG with the rings calls and I double up. Thanks Friedberg.

A few hands later Friedberg is back after busting on his first hand played and I pick up KK and take down the 10k pot on the turn.

Wow Friedberg is a lucky bitch. We should go to the craps table. Lady luck is on my side when he's around.

24k at break.

Back from break and I see a raised multiway flop with AK. The flop comes out Ad Kh 2h. The Ed Hardy Asian, who, btw also has an Ed Hardy hoodie and was the original raiser, bets out 2400. I raise him to 6500. Rest of the table folds.

He moves all in. I call and he shows AQ. Dominated. Sahweet!

The turn is a Q. But it's ok. I know I'm not going to get bad beat.

The river is a 3. See? Positive thinking. It works for me sometimes.

Dave Stann aka Hollywood Dave is at the table behind me and he just got the floor called on him for too much ass crack. Ha. Guess he's trying to be a plumber too.

The super bedazzled/studded guy in seat 6 is officially the human rain delay.

Table break! I really liked that table. But it's ok because my next table will be even better.

Nothing really interesting going on at table 53 except the Asian guy in seat 7 with about 70k in front of him.

I'm back in seat 9.

I bust a guy for a 20k pot when my A high flush bests his J high flush

Now I got 70K.

4:10pm: iPod dies. But it's ok. I have a backup.

A little over 70K at break.

Thinking about betting on the Fedor fight.

After break I decide to turn up the heat on these motherfuckers... Heineken!

Then the waitress forgets my beer. But it's ok. She'll be back around in no time.

I run my first successful bluff of the day when I fire a bullet on turn and river on a board of A Q Q K 2 with 33. I put the big guy in seat 6 on a weak ace or a medium pair. He checked every street to me so I knew he didn't really like his hand and I knew he didn't have a queen after the check call on the turn.

9000 value looking bet on river and he folds it.

88K.

The super SAG in seat 7 is trying his hardest to dust off all his chips. He's sitting on 30k now. Down 100k. Oops.

I dunno if it was a bad play or not but I check raised a guy on a K 7 Q to 15000 with AJ. He tanked it for a few minutes before saying nice hand and putting all his chips in the middle. Moron. He had KJ and it held.

Down to 60k. But that's ok because I'm still 20k above average.

I bust the crazy Asian lady in seat 10 with 55 vs her AQ. I get about 24k from her.

I go into the break with about 90k.

First hand after break the Super SAG raises to 11600 under the gun with blinds at 800/1200. Wait what?

I look down at JJ. The SAG has about 30k left and he's so damn fishy. I raise to 30K. It gets back around to him and he calls pretty quick with the Ac6c.

:-)

He flops a 6 but I river a jack. Haha!

126K. Yeah boy!

Overheard in the bathroom at break: Did you guys pee on your fingers?

Stopped taking notes after dinner break because I ate at Chipotle and went into food coma. My phone was also dying so I twitted a little bit and here they are:

120k at dinner break. Average 50k. 88 players left. 36 pay. I like my spot.
7:37 PM Nov 3rd from Echofon

Rocking 160k with 50 players left got a bunch of Internet nerds at my table.10:41 PM Nov 3rd from Echofon

Busted 5 from the money. Had double average with 10 to the money. FML. I hate poker.11:51 PM Nov 3rd from Echofon

This is how I roll.

And there goes my positive attitude.

JDN

WSOP day 2b & Dream Team Poker

Sadly this is my first day 2 in a no limit event at the World Series.

Sadly I have a starting stack.

Sadly there's traffic out in front of the Rio.

Sadly, I'm very happy to still be in after being card dead on the first day.

I get to my seat around 12:10pm and the tourney still hasn't started. Nice!

First hand of the tourney I look down at AQ and raise it to 1500. Or so I think. I look down and it's only 1100. Feck!

Big blind calls and I miss the flop. He picks it up on the turn. Lame.

When I'm the big blind it's folded to small blind, who've I've already pegged as a douche bag, insta raises to 1500.

I look down at AT and reraise to 4500. He moves in. Gagh!

He can be on nothing pretty easy here because I should fold this pretty easy. I fold telling him "I'll catch him later."

Good line huh?

Down to 26K.

An orbit later the older lady in seat 6, just after losing a big hand, makes it 3000 to go with blinds at 250/500. That's a little aggressive.

I look down at KK and move in. She's got about 7000 behind. So she's pretty much committed to calling. If she understands what that means.

She does call and shows AQ. Kings hold up and I scoop the pot.

Up to 40K. High point!

Brasilia Room. Table 210 Seat 8.

Table draw:
Seat 1: RYWG
Seat 2: RWG aka The Mustache. Holy moley this guy put Magnum PI to shame.
Seat 3: RAG that looks like Tetsuo from Akira. Tetsuo!!!!!!
Seat 4: RWG
Seat 5: RWG that may or may not be Kenny Powers brother.
Seat 6: RWOL... Oops busto. Ok it's a RWG... Busto. Now it's a Euro.
Seat 7: ROWG aka, Douche Bag
Seat 8: JDN
Seat 9: RAC Random Asian Chick. I can guarantee that she's a Commerce player.

18K at first break. Yes. 18k.

I stopped taking notes at this point because I was on life tilt. I could not win a hand. It was brutal.

The first of two hands that did me in was a hand against the Euro in seat 6. I could tell from the beginning that he had a very weak concept of preflop betting when he bet 4000 in middle position with blinds at 250/500.

He showed the table jacks and said he hated playing that hand.

Naturally a few orbits later he makes a 4x bet preflop and I call with TT.

The flop is a queen high and he checks. I check.

The turn is a blank and he bets out and I call.

The river is an ace. He bets out again but something about his movement and the bet amount is just fishy. I think he put in a pot sized bet and it just seemed like he wanted to buy the pot at that point.

I consider just shoving in and taking my chances. I've seen him open muck hands on the turn and if he thinks he's beat, he'll toss is away.

The only problem is that I don't really have enough chips to convince myself that he can fold. It would be barely more than a min raise.

But I then convince myself that I might actually have the best hand. The small (for him) preflop bet makes me think he's got a medium pair.

I tank it for several minutes.

I finally call, he says "nice hand" and flips over jacks.

I just shake my head and muck the hand.

I've got 6000.

I work it up to 9000 before that last hand before dinner break. I'm on the big blind and the Euro is on the button. Its folded to him and he makes a standard 3x raise to 1900. I look down at Q9 and make the call.

The flop is K 7 8. He checks out of turn. I shove. He calls with K7. Blank blank. I'm out.

That was so painful. It wasn't even fun. I should have sold my lammers when I won the satellite.


Dream Team Poker

I'm gonna keep this one short and sweet.

I got Gavin Smith and Matt Keikoan on my team. I gotta good team. Right?

Both of them bust by the 3rd level. I'm playing like a maniac. I love it.

I crack aces twice and have 45K at second break.

I make a last long bet with Matt Savage for a round of golf. He's got 20K.

I crack aces again with a bluff.

I have 90K at 3rd break.

Joe Stapleton and I wander around the main event, inside the ropes, while drinking beer. Stapes gets kicked out first. I tell Gavin he's a bad teammate for busting so quick.

My chip count does this:

90k

55K

25K

2K

10K

28K

0K

Two orbits and I'm out.

I hate the Rio and I'm never coming back.

WSOP Main Event

I pull a mini Hellmuth and arrive 20 minutes to little fanfare or notice. None actually.

I get to my table, find my seat, the 6 seat and look down to see Court Harrington in seat 7. Oh what the fucking hell?

Not only do I actually know someone at my table, who's a good player, he's sitting right next to me. Bah!

Amazon Room Table 97 Seat 6.

30,000 in starting chips and 2 hour levels.

What the he'll am I going to do with 2 hour levels? My style is much more suited to turbo satellites and 20 minute level.

Who am I kidding? I don't have a style.

In the first level I lose 1500 to the possible Euro to my right when he has JJ vs my TT on a K 8 K 6 K board.

A couple of orbits later I donate 3500 to the kid in seat 1 but I'm not mad. I called the river to see his hand and made sure my read was correct and to really make sure that his tell was what I thought it was.

It was. I'm awesome.

Table draw:
Seat 1: RYWG with a serious tell. Really. It's like a book.
Seat 2: ROWG
Seat 3: RYWG
Seat 4: ROWG possible Euro, maybe Canadian but he has no clue what's going on.
Seat 5: RWG and another possible Euro. Haven't really heard him talk.
Seat 6: JDN
Seat 7: Courtney Tyrell Harrington. Yes that is his real name.
Seat 8: RWG and a possible Mormon. Heard him tell Court that he was from Utah. I always assume the worst.
Seat 9: RYWG and another possible Euro. He's got a tight white shirt on.

25,500 on break. Time for the stampede.

Highlight from the hall stampede was watching Joe Stapleton pick up to of the Hellmuth models and take them to lunch. The man's got talent.

In the second level I win a nice pot from the ROWG in seat 2 with AT on a Ks Ad 8s Ts 3h board. Sweet!

A little while later I raise it up with Td Th and get called by the Mormon in seat 8. The flop comes down 7s Js 3d. I bet 800. He calls.

The turn is the 4s. I check, he bets 1500. Yeah right donkey. I call.

The river is a 7h. Check check. Tens are goot! Ship it.

Back up to 30K.

For the rest of the level I just fold. I'm pretty sure the deck doesn't have any face cards in it.

I'm changing my nickname to JD "No Paint" N.

29K at 2nd break.

Hallway highlight:
There's a Sapphire Girl (aka a stripper) walking around in her bikini with her arm in a sling. I don't know why but it's kinda hot.

First hand back from break I pick up 88 and win the pot on the turn to get up over 30K. High point!!

The maybe Euro limps from the 9 seat, seat 1 limps, I limp from the small and Court raises to 1800.

Lame Court! Lame!!

Seat 9 folds and he turns out not to be a Euro. Seat 1 calls and fucks up my plan of folding. Gawd... I call.

The flop falls 9 2 3. I check. Court bets 2300. Seat 1 folds and I think for a moment. I can't really put him on anything other than a strong ace. I call.

The turn is a 2. I check and Court verbally checks. I hadn't heard him do that before. Somethings fishy.

I decide that I'm betting the river unless it's a face card or ace, a blank if you will.

It's an 8. I bet 3350. Court tanks it. Looking at his cards a couple if times before folding.

I muck my 55.

He pretty much let me take the pot by checking on the turn and on the river I could represent a set of 3s. He's a good enough player to recognize what I was doing. If there were a weaker player, I might get a call.

Up to 37K.

I lose 8000 to the Mormon when he flops a set to my over pair. I got rid of the hand after I 3 bet him on the flop and he moved in for, for way more than I had. Fuck.

24K with 30 minutes to dinner.

Mean while Court flops back to back top sets with AA and QQ and gets not much action.

Finally! I hit a set and get action. I flop a set of 7s in a 4 way pot and get paid off from the kid in seat 1. Finally motherfuckers!!1!! Finally!

Back up to 30K.

$29,500 at dinner. Off to dinner over at the Palms with Katkin, LA Mike, Warren and Lara. As foreseen, I eat too many chips before the burrito arrives.

I spend level 4 in food coma. So I write nothing and remember very little.

I played AK strong a couple of times and folded preflop once. No sets and no pairs. I get up to 35K and drop down to 23K.

Then I bust a short stack with A7 vs his KJ and get up to 28,500.

Last break of the night I have 28,425.

Our table breaks, thank fucking gawd, right after break and I get moved to Blue 13 seat 6.

As I sit down I can already tell that this table is a train wreck. I'm filling the seat of the only person to bust off this table today.

Highlights include a guy in seat 1 that may or may not have swine flu.

A semi hot chick in seat 2 that's wearing mermaid poker. Cleavage is a go!!!

There's a bald guy in seat 4 that looks like the bald guy from original The Hill Have Eyes.

A creepy little Euro that's looks like he was in that first Hostel movie.

To cap off the table we have a Midwest middle aged house wife that looks like she's wearing her bowling shirt.

So it's more or less like a 2am Binions tournament.

Yes!

Thank gawd for head phones. The bald moron won't shut up about how he never gets any hands.

I have to bluff to win a hand for the rest of the night. I also get rid of an over pair on a T high flop. Poker sucks.

I've gone 3 whole tournament days with only getting aces once and flopping only two sets. I am so due. Playing again on Wednesday.

JDN

$500 Venetian Deep Stack

Since the WSOP sold out today I decided to play the Venetian. I get down here around 1 and surprisingly, I'm not an alternate.

Wow. I feel like I'm already a winner.

Table 53 seat 5. 15,000 in starting chips (well 14,450 for me since I arrived a little late) and 40 minute levels.

I officially have the slowest most boringest table evar! Here's how my day has gone so far: fold fold fold fold fold fold fold call check fold fold fold fold fold fold fold fold fold.

Awesome.

12K at first break.

Table draw:

Seat 1: RWG with a blue PSP. He looks too old to have one
Seat 2: A woman. Not hot. Possibly a midget. Oops. Confirmed busto.
Seat 3: RBG who can't handle his chips and he's already mistakenly raised a couple of hands preflop when he was trying to call.
Seat 4: A woman. Asian. Also a dealer and not not hot.
Seat 5: JDN
Seat 6: RAG
Seat 7: RWG with a WSOP hoodie.
Seat 8: ROWG, a long time grinder that I've seen around a bunch. No clue as to his name.
Seat 9: RAG
Seat 10: RWG, super aggro with continuation bets and reraising.

PSP guy is wearing a Rio All Suite Hotel shirt that says, "Paradise Found." I wonder if he's ever actually be to the Rio.

I get it all in with AK on a A K 4 board against seat 10. He shows AK. Chop chop. That's most action I've seen all day.

The PSP guy makes is 550 to go in the 100/200 25 ante level and he gets called in 4 spots including me.

The flop falls T 8 6. The not not hot Asian dealer bets out 1300 and I call. Everyone else folds.

The turn is a 9. She bets 3600. I call.

The river is a 7. Hey! Thats a straight on the board. She thinks about it for a moment before checking. Hmmmm. I wonder what the amount is that she would fold to and I wonder how much she would call.

I bet 6000. I'm pretty sure she would fold to an all in. She's got about 9K behind her.

After a bit she makes the crying call. I show JJ and take down the pot with a J high strizzle.

Up to 28K.

A few hands later I bust her with QQ and get my stack up to 33K.

Right around 32K at second break. Haven't really had any strong hands and I've been manufacturing all of my pots.

First hand back the PSP guy raises it up to 2300. The RWG to my right moves all in and the guy on my left that looks like a mini Layoto Machida moves all in too. Then the dealer mucks his cards.

Wait! What?

The floor is called over and the decision is made to take 2300 out of his stack, give him the rest of the chips back and lecture him on protecting his hand.

It saved him money. Both of the other players flopped sets and rivered full houses.

I look down at 22 and raise it up to 2100 in late position and get called by the old timey grinder from the small blind.

The flop is HOLY SHIT! A girl just sat down in seat 1 with giant boobies. Motorboat!

Ok where was I? I can't remember what I was writing about.

Anywoo I fired two bullets with 22 on a board of A 6 7 K to take down a nice pot.

40300 at color up. The girl with big boobies is cold.

Well level 8 sucked moosecock bro. I lost 6000 with TT and a few hands later I lost 8500 with 88. I wish my nickname was the man with no sets or the man with no nuts.

The big titty committee can't remember to put her antes out. Damn annoying. Then she busts. Ding!

I would say that 60% of the time my first card is a K. 100% of the time the second card does not complement the King.

772 total players for this tourney. 74 pay and $101,000 for first.

42,900 at 3rd break. Right about average with 260 players left.

Annnnd we're on dinner break.

Apparently someone at another table disagreed with a ruling that one way or the other caused him to bust out. So this gentleman decided the best course of action was to dump everyone's chips into the middle of the table.

As you can imagine chaos erupted and security was called. The guy tried to make a getaway but the poker room manager, Kathy Raymond, caught him in the parking lot.

So the TDs called an early dinner so that they could check the cameras and figure out who's chips are who's.

Awesome. Chipotle here I come.

Watched the ping pong championships at dinner.

Entering burrito coma post dinner break.

Levels 10 & 11 go as follows: fold fold fold fold fold fold fold think about it... fold fold fold fold fold fold

Then I look down at JJ in middle position. Ok I have 25,600. I got abot 13 big blinds. Do I raise to 6K or just stick it in?

That's what she said.

I stick it in.

That's what she said.

I get called by the big blind who just happens to be my new British friend Ramsey, with AK.

He blanks out and I double to 53K.

An orbit later I flop my first set and check raise the RBG in seat 2 to snatch 20K off of him.

I'm up to 72K which is a just hair below average.

I stopped writing at this pot and I will now post responses to my tweets.

# 1
Rocking my moose cock off to Preistess and it seems to be working. Flopped first of the day. 73K with 140 players 73 pay.

Umm yeah, pretty much already talked about this. I don't really have a moose cock, its more of a mouse cock.

# 2
68K at break. A bit below average. Waiting for that rush to hit. Maybe I'll order a heineken.

I did order a Heine and I won $10 playing video poker. I promised myself not to play video poker but I have a hard time keeping to my personal promises.

# 3
47500 going into the 2k/4k level. About 90 left 73 pay. Why do I get myself in these situations? Need to cash so I can shave.

I made a bet with myself not to shave or get a hair cut until I cash. Let's just say that the GF is not a fan of this.

# 4
On the money bubble. I have 12 chips for exactly 36K. Average is 160k. Short stack ninja or fold machine?

LA Mike told me to shove every hand and Robin, Perry's GF told me to fold every hand. Not a fan of either of those options.

# 5
Just saw half a nipple on a giant boobie while walking back from the can. That's good luck right? Still on the bubble.

It was a giant boobie and I saw the part around the nozzle. Whats that called?

# 6
It was a lucky nipple! And the monkey is off my back. I can shave! And I won $73. WTF?

Pretty sure I'm gonna start asking to see nipples when I get near the money. It probably would have got me to the money in the 5K PLO8.

# 7
Busto. 66 vs KK. Both hit sets. Don't know what place or how much I'm getting but at least I cam shave now.

So I end up getting AK twice after we redraw with 72 left. I get up to 78K, a high for the day, before I move in with 66 from middle position. I rivered a set but the other guy turned his set.

Oh well. I got 52nd and $894. It was my first cash since February... holy fuck thats bad, but I think I played awesome.

I never had AA or KK and got every chip I could with the shit hands I had. This is a good sign.

JDN

WSOP $1500 PLO 8

I think I broke my finger last night playing trivia with Gavin. Don't ask how. It's a long story.

Amazon Room (yay first time in here!). Orange table 72 seat 9.

1500 starting chips with two rebuy chips. 1 hour levels.

Table draw:

Seat 1: Jacobo Frenandez AKA The Human Rain Delay
Seat 2: RAG
Seat 3: Perry Friedman
Seat 4: ROWG
Seat 5: My arch nemesis from the Hollywood Park days, Mickey "Mouse" Mills
Seat 6: Mike "Salt of the Earth" Gracz
Seat 7: ROWG
Seat 8: Random Euro
Seat 9: JDN

This table needs more Euros and less ROWGs.

This is gonna be a long day...

I sit down and double up to 3000 pretty quick in a drawing hand vs Jacobo when I hit my wrap for a straight against what had to be a set. Sweet!

Near the end of the 2nd level it's big pot time. 4 way all in with Jacobo, Perry, a ROWG and myself.

I had the nut low draw that couldn't be counterfitted vs Perry's full house vs Jacobo's trips and nut low draw vs the ROWG's top pair. I whiffed.

I use my rebuy chips and I have 3000 at 1st break.

We get back from break and have pause for the bracelet cerimony. Lame.

Jason Potter sits down in seat 2 and Joe Tehan takes seat 4.

A couple of hands in, Joe Tehan doesn't quite pot it from middle position and its folded to me. I have Ac 8c As Qs. I pot it to 1350.

Joe calls half his stack off as the flop comes 5d 6c 9d. I move in for 2000 and Joe quickly calls the all in.

I open my hand and Joe says, "Pretty good flop for my hand..."

Oh Jesus. Joe shows Ad 4d 7h Jh. What? Wait! Did Joe Tehan really just call off half his stack preflop with that?

Oh My Gawd.

The turn is a 3h and I'm drawing dead. Well played Mr Tehan.

I'm down to 450.

A few hands later I get it all in with K K T 9. Joe calls from the big blind as the does the original raiser in seat 7.

The board runs out 3 J T 9 K. Don't you worry, Tehan shows the ole 2 8 Q J for the 2nd nut straight. The old guy shows A A 2 T.

The best part of the hand was that Joe talked the guy out of betting on the flop because there was no side pot.

Nice.

Normally I like Joe Tehan, but today is he's a fuck wit. Sorry Joe, you just earned the title and you really deserve it.

JDN

$500 Venetian Deep Stack

I get to the Venetian 45 minutes late and there's a line 60 deep. Not all these people can be as lazy as me... or can they?

Table 74 seat 4.

15,000 in chips, 40 minute level. Game on!

Table draw:
Seat 1: Possible Euro but... I only say that because he's wearing white capris and sandals. He also has a tattoo on his arm that says "I DEAL IN LEAD.". WTF does that mean? Then he talks with a Southern drawl. I'm confused here.
Seat 2: RWG that looks like he bought his outfit at Metro Park. Too much going on there to describe. His gf is also sitting behind me on the rail which is annoying.
Seat 3: RAG that busts and is replaced by a ROWG
Seat 4: RAG
Seat 5: JDN. Oops I guess I'm in 5 and not 4. Too lazy to correct it.
Seat 6: ROWG
Seat 7: RYWG with a Jew Fro.
Seat 8: RAG.
Seat 9: Faux Euro with some horrid looking hair plugs. I wish could take a picture. With his hair line it looks like a stringy triangle on top of his head.
Seat 10: RYWG

Wait! Why am I only getting two cards here? And what's this no limit thing all about?

It's been a while go easy on me.

I DEAL IN LEAD (which I now think must be a line from Gunsmoke or Kenny Loggins) busts when he pushs in preflop with 8h 9h with 75 big blinds. Now the nonsense tattoo makes sense.

A RPG with a very bedazzled shirt takes his place.

I pick up AA in the 75/150 level and after a preflop raise I see a flop of 8d 9d 4s with the faux Euro. He check raises me to 2500. Hmmm. He's either got top pair or a flush draw. I briefly consider a set but I decide I can't be that unlucky already.

So I reraise him to 6000. I leave myself enough to fold if he moves in. Not that I would actually fold, I just want the option. He thinks for a few seconds before calling. Ha! Gotcha bitch!

The turn is another 4 and he checks to me. I move in for 7000.

They've sent two alternates to the table without chips. The Venetian is slowly turning into a Harrahs property.

In a multiway limped pot I flop a set of 7s on a Q T 7 flop. I bet out and get called by the ROWG to my right. He def has a Q.

The turn is a J. I bet out again. It takes him a few moments of thought before he calls. He really wanted to raise there. He's got QJ.

The river is a Q. Fuck!

I check he bets 1K into a 5K pot. Is that a value bet? Now I think he might have AQ or KQ. Only a moron would make that bet. Right? It's only 1K. I call.

He shows QJ. Lame!

I show him my smaller full house and he says, "I didn't know you were that strong."

"Next time I'll tell you by betting." I reply.

20K at first break.

I pretty much just play small ball for the next few level and get up to 32K before I play 77 vs the ROWG to my left. Again. He's my pocket 7s mush.

Needless to say I somehow lose 11K in the hand. Down to 17K.

In the last hand before break I pick up a nice 6K pot with AQ (I know, crazy!) and get up around 21K.

21K at break.

Had to lay down JJ to the kid in seat 10 after he put the squeeze on our raise and call. I showed him the jacks and he was mildly surprised. Maybe it wasn't a squeeze but he's one of two other peeps at this table that know what a squeeze is.

20K at color up.

Good gawd it freezing in here!

Just trying to hang on until dinner break so I can go to Chipotle and service my burrito addiction. I'll probably go there anyway, since I'm an addict.

In the big blind I call a 2700 raise from the faux Euro with Tc 7c. The flop comes T 8 6. I bet 5100 he calls. The turn is a Q. Hmmm. I check.

He thinks for a bit, long enough to figure out that he doesn't have anything, before he moves in for 9000 something. I call pretty quick and he shows Ad Kd.

Gotta fade 11 outs... and I do. Double up to 40Kish. Sweet.

Oh look at that. Beth "The Cougar" Shak is now following me on Twitter. Who's a bad kitty?

The table breaks and I get moved to a much warmer part of the casino.

This new table has a couple of RPGs, a RAG, and 1 lone ginger with a creepy soul patch. He looks like Shaft from Youngblood.

A few minutes before break I call an all in from a short stack with 44. He shows 9s 7s and he flops the ten high straight. WTF? Is he related to Jeremiah Smith?

41,700 at dinner break.

Hi my name is JD and I have a problem...

I come back from dinner and lose 10K by calling preflop raises and check folding the flop.

Then the table breaks and I get moved to a table with a ton of chips. Awesome.

First hand dealt to me and I look down a 66. There was a raise in early position and I call. The flop is T 8 5. The old guy, who already had the chips in his hand, bets out 15K. I move in.

It takes him a few moments to call and I flip over my 66. He looks at the board, looks at his hand and looks at mine. I gotta be good here right?

It takes him about 30 seconds to turn over his hand, 77.

Nice slow roll douche bag.

Busto.

JD

WSOP $1500 HORSE

goat on horse!

I arrive a little late and have to wait for the big blind to start playing. I catch the last hand of Omaha and look down at Ah Ad 2d 5h. I raise and get called by 5 players and lose to the ole K 9.

Our second dealer didn't know there was a burn in stud. Half the table didn't know either.

My #2 stud mush David Singer sits down in seat 8.

Brasilia Room. Table 233. Seat 4.

Table draw:

Lakers win!!!

Roland de Wolfe wins!!!!

Seat 1: RWG
Seat 2: RWG
Seat 3: RWG
Seat 4: JDN
Seat 5: RWG
Seat 6: Random Lady. I don't know of what origins.
Seat 7: Russian Guy from the other HORSE
Seat 8: David Singer

The guy to my left check called 7th street in stud with trip aces. Of course I had trip 8s.

I go on a heater in the first level (where were you yesterday Mr Heater) and I head into the break with 6600.

After 2nd break I have 5000. On the first hand of hold'em I look down at 99 and raise it up. I get called by the doofus to my left and I bet out on a J T 6 board. He instaraises me. I could already see the chips in his hand before mine hit the felt.

So I reraise him. He calls. The turn is an A and I bet out, he calls. The river is something... I can't remember, but I bet out again and he calls with AQ. Moron.

The very next hand its raised by the new Asian kid in seat 6. I call from the big blind with QT. The flop is J 3 3. I check he bets I call. The turn is a 9, which I really like because it gives me an open ended straight draw. I'm figuring both of my cards are live too. No real read to get to that assumption. I just always assume I got two lives ones.

I bet he calls. The river is a blank and I fire out another bet leaving me 125 behind. I show him my 125 left, daring him to raise me. He decides to call with AK. Awesome.

Down to 125.

This should be the end of the story but its not. I double up twice and actually survive to Omaha.

In Omaha I look down Ad 3s 4s 5s and limp into a multiway pot. The flop is A 6 T. I get all my money and the turn is a 4. Think that just fucked me. The river is another low card giving me aces up and a 5 3 low. Don't you worry. David Singer has a flush and a 5 2 low.

Busto.

Oh and what are the odds that the same guy busts you out of 2 HORSE tournaments with a combined population of 1000 players in less than a week?

Even money if you're JDN

WSOP $5K PLO8 Day 2

Amazon Room Table 88 Seat 4

I walk into the Amazon room and they announce that we're playing in the Brasilia room. Bah!

Table draw:
Seat 1: RWG
Seat 2: Random White Chick. Last one in the tourney.
Seat 3: ROWG
Seat 4: JDN
Seat 5: Mickey Appleman, looking like he slept in a park.
Seat 6: RWG
Seat 7: Kevin Petterson
Seat 8: Andy Black
Seat 9: Empty

Mickey doubles the 2nd hand of the day, then busts seats 6 and 7 a few hands later.

At table breaks and we get a Random German Pokerstars Pro (RGPSP?) in seat 6, Alex Kravchenko in seat 7 and Brent Richey in seat 9.

I bust the RWG in seat 1 when my aces hold up against his A 2 3 x.

Up to 208K.

Mickey Appleman is a cockroach. He just can't bust. He got a sick call for all his chips from Andy Black, then tripled up, then lost all his chips, then doubled back up again.

Down to 45.

Mickey Appleman has a pager.

175K at break.

Chufty is moved to seat 1. He does not know how to play hi lo. Obv.

Down to 36 and another table breaks. Two short stacks get moved to our table and one of them is Jeff Lisandro.

It's awesome watching the Euros play PLO8 and really never considering the low part. Likewise the American players generally just go for the low.

Brain fart and I'm down to 100K. No details. I order a Heineken.

89K at dinner break.

Two hands after the end Of dinner break we lose a player. Down to 27 time for a redraw.

On to table 192 seat 4.

Other notables at the table:
Seat 1: Brent Richey
Seat 2: Andy Black
Seat 4: JDN
Seat 6: Andy Bloch
Seat 7: Chris Bell

Down to 23 players.

Ivey shows up to play 1 hand and busts. Then he heads back to the OE tournament to win another bracelet. Down to 21.

A short stack pots it in late position and I look down a A Q Q 6. I call from the big blind. The flop is A 5 7. I know for a fact that he has A 2 and that I have the best high hand. My biggest hope is that he's holding a 9 T in there too. Pretty sure all I got to do is avoid him making two pair and I'll scoop this hand. I willing to gamble on that so I bet pot.

He moves in. A 2 3? He shows Ac 2s 4c 9c. He's pretty much got the low locked up so I guess I gotta avoid the two pair. Turn 2. Fuck. River 2. Fuck fuck. He's scoops with a live 4 for the low.

We count out the stack and I have him covered by 4500. Awesome.

I get my 4500 in on the next hand and triple up to 12k. That doesn't last long when I call all but 1500 off when the lady gets me drawing dead on the turn.

I get my 1500 all in on the small blind and hit a flush to take half the pot and double to 3000.

A couple of hands later I double again to 6000.

On the last hand before break I'm the big blind and with 4000 and already committed to the pot I get all in with 9 6 5 7 vs the guy that I doubled up's A A x x.

Outsky in 21st.

Probably the most painful day I've ever had in poker. I couldn't win a hand. When I played tight I had to check fold the flop. When I gambled, I bricked out. I can only think of 2 hands that I picked up after the turn or scooped at show down. I could not catch a break.

I'm so drained by the day that I don't want to play poker again for a long time.

This is my 3rd bubble bust in as my years at the WSOP. HORSE HORSE PLO8. All in games that I consider myself to be above average in. This has been so brutal.

JDN

WSOP $5K Pot Limit Omaha 8 or better

Brasilia Room. Table 242. Seat 3.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

5000 in chips with 2 rebuy chips worth 5000 each.

I sweat Gavin for a bit in the stud8 / Omaha 8 tourney where he tries to get our Prince Albert bet on again. I turn it down, which I think, it a good fold on my part.

Table draw:

Seat 1: Justin Smith aka Boosted J. He just busted in 9th from the 2-7 No limit. Hopefully he's on tilt.
Seat 2: Max "The Italian Pirate" Pescatori
Seat 3: JDN
Seat 4: ROWG possible Euro
Seat 5: Random FTP Pro. Def Euro
Seat 6: RWG
Seat 7: ROWG
Seat 8: John Racecar
Seat 9: Internet Nerd with a Thunder Cats shirt on.

Max doubles me up when we both blank out on a board of 7s 9h Qh 4d 4c. I held Ah 7h x x vs his Kh Jh Th 9s. Sweet. Back up to 5000.

4500 at first break.

I gotta fold big starting hands on the flop in the 3rd level and get down to 1550. Time to use my rebuy chips.

For the first time tonight I pot it preflop to 1050 with Ac As Ks Qc. I get called 5 ways. WTF? The flop is 4 5 5. Check fold by me.

I bust the old guy next to me when he calls off all his chips with a low draw and gets counterfeited with the 2 that makes my straight.

After Thunder Cats Noooo busts and Kathy Liebert takes his seat.

I make a redonkculous lay down preflop, and I made it really quick.

I pot it in early position with A 2 Q Q to 1400 and John Racecar repots to 5K. He can only do that with 1 hand A A 2 x. Even if he has A 2 K K, I'm a huge dog. I fold. Bah!

John Racecar has been playing pretty tight. Very ABC for PLO8. So when he raises there, I know he has a big hand.

A couple of hands later into a limped pot I flop 3 pair with Q 2 7 and bet out 1200. The kid to my right repots it to 4800. WTF? Really? He has to hit the ole 1 outter for a set?

This kid is not an idiot, he's not doing it with A3. I fold. Blah fucker!

11,200 at dinner break.

Shortly after the dinner break ended I get moved to a new table. This one seems to gave more gamble than the other one.

The highlights are as follows:

Seat 1: Burno Fitoussi
Seat 2: JDN (yes I'm a highlight. I write this shit out!)
Seat 5: Rob Mizrachi
Seat 7: Ross Boatman
Seat 8: David Bach
Seat 9: Chip Jett

David Bach out!

I fold my way down to 8700 before it's folded to Bruno in the small blind. He pots it and I look down A A 4 7. I repot to 4500, Bruno puts me all in for 8700.

He shows A 2 3 9. Aces hold up and I double up to 17K.

Bruno out. He played like he had better things to do.

Man I'm tired.

A big stack RWG takes seat one.

Seat 3 busts and is replaced by a Random Euro FTP Pro. (REFTP?)

Rib Mizrachi is a beast. He's so aggressive that every time he folds preflop the guy on his right raises. Together they're kinda running over the table.

Man I'm tired.

17300 on break.

I pick up a few pots in the 400/800 by being aggressive and get up around 25K.

Then I pot it under the gun with Ad 2h 5s 7s. Rob Mizrachi calls. The flop falls 7 6 9. I bet 4500 and Rob calls.

The turn is a 4 and I check. I'm just trying to see where I'm at. Rob moves me all in.

Sooo I guess that where I'm at. I'm probably getting quartered but I have the straight redraw. Ok I call.

Rob asks me if I have A 2. I say yes and he says he thought he had A 2 too. Oh wow. He's embarrassed to turn over his hand.

Rob shows A 3 J Q. Wow.

The river is a T. Scoop! Pair of 7s for the high and A2 for the low. 51K. Ship it!

Table breaks and I get move to the next table to break. That's how I roll. Andy Bloch and Scott Clements are here.

I flop a set of deuces on a 2 6 T board and check raise the kid from my first table, all in. I show A 2 2 3 and he's got A A 3 Q. The turn is another T.

I got the high locked up since Andy Block threw away an ace.

The river is a lovely 9 that allows me to scoop! Up to 80K. That's double average ladies and gents!

The tables breaks (again) and I'm moved to a table with Daniel Negranue and Chris Reslock.

One more level and I can sleep.

I decide to play tight at this next table. So I bust 2 short stack players in one hand and get up to 100K. Yeah boy.

Then with about 10 minutes left in the level, I look down at Ac 2c x x. Its potted preflop and called 5 ways.

The flop is 3c 4c Ks. I like that. The old guy next to me bets 10K. I repot it to 38K. Everyone folds back to him. He tanks it. Shit. He's got a set of kings. I'm too tired and I didn't even take the time to think about what he had before I raised.

I got too much money in there and I make the decision to get it all in on the turn regardless of what it is. Oh, and BTW, he started the hand with about 70K.

The turn is the 9h and he shoves. I have to call. He show the Kh Kc for top set, I show my Ac 2c for nut low nut flush draw.

River is the Qc. Ding bitches!

The day ends two hands later and I bag up 185,900 in chips. That's good for chip leader and that's 50K more than anyone else.

Man I'm tired.

Back tomorrow at 2pm. You can also follow me on twitter @jdnewitt and on Poker Road's Twitter page at http://tweet.pkrrd.com/nation

JDN