I got to Caesars about 5 hours earlier than expected because of rain. My day of golf got rained out. In Vegas. Really?
So I'm up all early and after breakfast I head down to Caesars. Unfortunately I forget my daily ritual and halfway through hour 1 I gotta drop a deuce.
So there I am in the stall. In a casino. Not much cleaner than Hollywood Park. Complating the universe, solving the world's problems when I hear the guy next to me start to cuss in between his gasps for breath as he presummibly gives birth to a monster brown trout. A lunker if you will.
This goes on for several long minutes as just sit there waiting for a prolapse. Then suddenly he gets up flushes the can and leaves. I don't think he wiped. I try to get a look at his shoes to see if he's at my table.
On a side note, I was impressed with Caesars TP quality. It's no charmin but it's quite soft. Kudos Harrahs.
Hour #7 results:
+$38
1 bloody mary
0 Heinekens
Post BM I start feeling all losey goosey and fire a bluff on the river vs the old lady in seat 5. She limped preflop, called my $10 bet on the T 7 3 flop, checked the 6 on the turn and bet $40 on the 9 river.
I reraised to $120 with A5. I did so because she looked really uncomfortable after making the bet. She was looking up, fumbling with her cards and such. I'd never seen her to do that in the hour and a half that we've been playing. I know she's weak. I've been pretty tight, I got a good image, but this is 1/3 at Caesars.
After thinking about for a while she says, "This is a bad call. I call."
She shows AT. Bah!
Hour #8 results:
-$150
0 Heinekens
Hour 9 is absolute shit. I have to rebuy after calling most of my stack off with bottom pair. Hey I thought I was good.
The goofball in seat 1 is holding over me and I've doubled him up twice, almost 3 times.
So I order a Heineken.
It's not here yet.
I more than double up to $420 (LOL) when I get it all in with a flush draw vs two pair. I river the flush. Finally! Some luck. Sweet!
I just watched the retarded cocktail waitress give my Heineken to a guy at another table. She then walked over to our table give the old lady her drink. She proceeded to stare at the wall for 10 minutes as I tried to get her attention.
Obv I failed to get her to notice me as she soon wandered over to the other side of the room trying to avoid eye contact with thirsty poker players.
This bitch is fucking with my mojo.
I proceed to blow 120 to the tubby cowpoke in seat 4.
The young kid next to me keeps mumbling about how bad the players are and how he wants a table change. I tell him this how all the games are. Noob.
Hour #9 results:
-$200
0 fucking Heinekens (I'm going into an alcoholic rage! Motherfuckers!)
I'm pretty sure that peter griffin from family guy is our dealer. He got contacts and grew a goatee to go incognito.
I decide to take a break and lose $200 at video poker. That worked out well.
It's now well into hour 10. Only 30 more to go. Shoot me now.
I like the new cocktail waitress. She's not retarded for starters. And she told me that she too likes to drink alone. I'm usually alone at midnight in my man cave drinking but I'm the only one at the table with a frosty beverage in front of me.
Hour #10 results:
-$385 in poker
2 Heinekens
-$200 in video poker
Shiiiiiiit. Retard waitress is back.
Absolutly nothing happens in hour 11.
Hour #11 results:
Lame
I swear I'm playing on a slow short bus to hell. The new guy in seat 2 looks like lurch and the senile old man in seat 5 just check raised the flop before open folding the turn. I've never seen that before.
I finally turn things around when I bust the senior broham when my flush gets there on the turn. Back up around $300 down. It's sucks so bad to be happy about being only $300 down in a 1/3 game.
Didn't notice at first but my hommie Kevin "bleu329" Peterson sits down in seat 3. I haven't seen that guy in a couple years.
I keep running into the goofy white guy in seat 7's big hands. He's got all these weird tells, it looks like his palms are sweaty, and twitches. I finally make a move on him when I push in with 6 high on a 9 A 9 K 7 board. He folds AJ face up, I can't resist and I show him the bluff. What a great set up. Now I can't leave till I bust him.
I think I'm in to hour 13 or 14. Results:
-$250 in poker
3 or 4 Heinekens
-$200 in video poker
Goofy white guy keeps holding over me and I get down to -$515 after he, I guess, outplays me or I underestimate his intelligence.
The very next hand I pick up aces, first in 12 hours, and what do you know? Goofy guy raise in front of me.
Oh snap! I just throw in my chips, about $85, (I've got $400 cash behind) hoping that goofball thinks I'm steaming. And it works! But on the wrong player.
The creepy euro kid in seat 2 reraises to $200 not seeing my $400 behind. Then goofy white guy almost calls. Damn it! He would have doubled me up had he called the $85.
Goofball finally folds and I throw my cash out on the table all disgusted like. I totally deserve an oscar nod. The euro calls with jacks. Sweet. I flop my set. Double sweet.
Then the dealer puts the Td on the turn giving him a royal gut shot draw. Shiiiiiiiiit. Now I gotta sweat this shit.
He misses and now I'm only down $100.
Goofy guy leaves. Fuck. I'm thinking about following him.
Hour #15? results:
-$200 in poker
5 heinekens
-$200 in video poker
The new "not obv retarded cocktail waitress" forgets my Heineken. WTF is going on here. You think with the economy being what it is, that Caesars would hire some decent waitresses for below street value.
Guess not. I may need to write a letter to Mr Harrah.
Hal Lubarsky is back. His reader is wearing the same pokerwire shirt from yesterday. My legacy lives on in the rarely bathed.
Around midnight I flop 2 pair on a J 7 A board with J7 and I run into A7. Down $550. Thats it, I'm done. I gotta go home and watch the Wire. It will be my only moment of happiness I'm going to experience today. Omar needs to blast some fools.
Results:
17 hours and 30 minutes
+$4 in poker
-$117.50 in video poker
I need to stay away from the hooker bar.
JDN
1.24.2009
1.23.2009
40 hours of hell
Caesars Palace is running a promotion where a player can get into a freeroll to the NBC heads up if they play 40 hours of cash games in January. The first prize in the freeroll is a $20K seat and $10K in cash. Top 32 pay at least a dime and there should be only 225 people in it.
Of course I forgot about it until yesterday so I have 5 days to get 40 hours in. That's like a work week. It's been a while since I've done that.
So I gotta get this done by Tuesday. I leave for a vacation from Vegas on Wednesday (a must for vegas residents at least a couple of times a year).
I'm not much of a cash player. Definitely not a grinder and I'm riding a shit streak at cash. Somehow I've lost 3K straight at the Red Rock playing 2/5. So poor. Ok. Here we go. This is gonna suck.
I get into my seat around 6:15 and buy in for $300. Looking around at the boneheads playing this 1/3 game, and... and it's what you would expect at Caesars on a Thursday. I so belong here. This is my hell.
I play pretty tight for the first hour. I gotta practice some money management skills. The bank roll is wounded.
Only hand I saw the river on was my 77 vs the guy in seat 4's AA. Of course I called down and hit a 7 on the river.
Hour #1 results:
+$27
0 heinekens
In hour 2 I open it up a bit. On a board of 5 5 8 T 6 I call a $50 bet from seat 4 (again I know!) with 44 and it's good. The table goes wild. Seat 1 and 5 talk about it way too long, breaking it down and analyzing it, and I have to put my head phones in to drown it out.
I also hit a gutter ball on the turn with KT on a A 8 T J 7 board and get paid off. Sweet.
The cocktail waitresses here are pretty brutal. I ordered 3 drinks and only got 2 in 2 and a half hours.
Hour #2 results:
+$200
0 heinekens
After finally getting my Perrier, I pick up 22 in a multiway pot. The flop falls 8h 6h Th. It's checked around to the preflop raiser who bets $10. Hmmm. He must have the ace of hearts. I call. Everyone else folds. The turn is a black 7. I check he bets $10 again. Ok I just gotta fade an ace, king or a heart and this pot is mine. I think the river is a 5d. I check he shows the Kh As.
Dang! He was worse off than I thought. But not by much. The table laughs as I scoop the pot. Seat 1 starts talking again. Shut up dude!
A few hands later I pick up aces. I grab some chips to make a raise and a random chip rolls out from off my stack, not my hand, and stops past the betting line. WTF?! I stare at it for a second before asking the dealer if that's a bet? She says yes. Well, she should said it's a call. I protest as the other players at my table call the $3.
I call the floor over just explain the rule. (it was obv that I was trying to raise and the chip didn't come out my hand). Then the guy in seat 9, who looks like a mini Mike Matuaow, does the dumbest thing I've ever seen at a poker table. He raises to $8 to give me that option back.
Wait what? He says something like he's just being nice. Whatever. Idiot. I reraise to $20 and get 4 callers. Ahhh 1/3 No limit. You gotta love it.
I flop an ace and bust the fishy old dude in seat 7.
Hour #3 results
+$450
0 Heinekens
I decide to take a dinner break in hour 4. As long as your chips are at the table, you still get credit.
I grab a slice of pizza in the food court, that breaks apart when I pick it up, and hit up Caesars version of the hooker bar to play some video poker and watch the end of the laker game.
At the end of regulation I hit a straight flush and the smelly pirate hooker next to me slaps me on the back says something intelligible to me. Her voice is as gravely as county road she grew up on. I assume it's that way due to 50 years of smoking and gargling bum dong.
Hour #4 results:
+$300 in poker
2 heinekens
+$82.50 in video poker
The fat guy in seat 4 tells the hillbilly in seat 3 that he's a food broker. No shit Sherlock. What are the odds he's getting his kick backs in bacon?
The fake ginger dealer is telling the table about how she shares her boyfriend with other girls and her preference in the chubby chicks over the "skinny bitches".
Caesars is totally becoming Hollywood Park east.
I rake the biggest pot of the night when I flop a full house with 22 on a board of 6 2 6. The new seat 7 had Q6 and called a reraise and a $125 bet on the river. Sweet. I don't often get action when flopping a full house.
Hour #5 results:
+$500 in poker
3 Heinekens
1 bisexual dealer
+$82.50 in video poker
Hal Lubarsky is playing 1/3 two tables over. No doubt playing for the freeroll. Pretty sure Hal used to play the 10/20 game at the Mirage. I wonder how much he pays his reader? Is it a flat rate or a percentage? Gawd, playing him heads up would be brutal.
I wonder if it would be possible to throw his reader off? Like pretending to fall asleep at the table and betting the wrong amounts. Maybe blowing a vomit burp his way. I think tilting his reader would be the best way to beat him.
I pretty much coast through the last hour.
Hour #6 results:
+$554 in poker
3 heinekens
+$82.50
Shiiiiiiit. I clocked out too early and only got 5 hours and 50 minutes credited to me. 34:10 to go.
JDN
Of course I forgot about it until yesterday so I have 5 days to get 40 hours in. That's like a work week. It's been a while since I've done that.
So I gotta get this done by Tuesday. I leave for a vacation from Vegas on Wednesday (a must for vegas residents at least a couple of times a year).
I'm not much of a cash player. Definitely not a grinder and I'm riding a shit streak at cash. Somehow I've lost 3K straight at the Red Rock playing 2/5. So poor. Ok. Here we go. This is gonna suck.
I get into my seat around 6:15 and buy in for $300. Looking around at the boneheads playing this 1/3 game, and... and it's what you would expect at Caesars on a Thursday. I so belong here. This is my hell.
I play pretty tight for the first hour. I gotta practice some money management skills. The bank roll is wounded.
Only hand I saw the river on was my 77 vs the guy in seat 4's AA. Of course I called down and hit a 7 on the river.
Hour #1 results:
+$27
0 heinekens
In hour 2 I open it up a bit. On a board of 5 5 8 T 6 I call a $50 bet from seat 4 (again I know!) with 44 and it's good. The table goes wild. Seat 1 and 5 talk about it way too long, breaking it down and analyzing it, and I have to put my head phones in to drown it out.
I also hit a gutter ball on the turn with KT on a A 8 T J 7 board and get paid off. Sweet.
The cocktail waitresses here are pretty brutal. I ordered 3 drinks and only got 2 in 2 and a half hours.
Hour #2 results:
+$200
0 heinekens
After finally getting my Perrier, I pick up 22 in a multiway pot. The flop falls 8h 6h Th. It's checked around to the preflop raiser who bets $10. Hmmm. He must have the ace of hearts. I call. Everyone else folds. The turn is a black 7. I check he bets $10 again. Ok I just gotta fade an ace, king or a heart and this pot is mine. I think the river is a 5d. I check he shows the Kh As.
Dang! He was worse off than I thought. But not by much. The table laughs as I scoop the pot. Seat 1 starts talking again. Shut up dude!
A few hands later I pick up aces. I grab some chips to make a raise and a random chip rolls out from off my stack, not my hand, and stops past the betting line. WTF?! I stare at it for a second before asking the dealer if that's a bet? She says yes. Well, she should said it's a call. I protest as the other players at my table call the $3.
I call the floor over just explain the rule. (it was obv that I was trying to raise and the chip didn't come out my hand). Then the guy in seat 9, who looks like a mini Mike Matuaow, does the dumbest thing I've ever seen at a poker table. He raises to $8 to give me that option back.
Wait what? He says something like he's just being nice. Whatever. Idiot. I reraise to $20 and get 4 callers. Ahhh 1/3 No limit. You gotta love it.
I flop an ace and bust the fishy old dude in seat 7.
Hour #3 results
+$450
0 Heinekens
I decide to take a dinner break in hour 4. As long as your chips are at the table, you still get credit.
I grab a slice of pizza in the food court, that breaks apart when I pick it up, and hit up Caesars version of the hooker bar to play some video poker and watch the end of the laker game.
At the end of regulation I hit a straight flush and the smelly pirate hooker next to me slaps me on the back says something intelligible to me. Her voice is as gravely as county road she grew up on. I assume it's that way due to 50 years of smoking and gargling bum dong.
Hour #4 results:
+$300 in poker
2 heinekens
+$82.50 in video poker
the cash out machine runs on windows xp. vista sux.
The fat guy in seat 4 tells the hillbilly in seat 3 that he's a food broker. No shit Sherlock. What are the odds he's getting his kick backs in bacon?
The fake ginger dealer is telling the table about how she shares her boyfriend with other girls and her preference in the chubby chicks over the "skinny bitches".
Caesars is totally becoming Hollywood Park east.
I rake the biggest pot of the night when I flop a full house with 22 on a board of 6 2 6. The new seat 7 had Q6 and called a reraise and a $125 bet on the river. Sweet. I don't often get action when flopping a full house.
Hour #5 results:
+$500 in poker
3 Heinekens
1 bisexual dealer
+$82.50 in video poker
Hal Lubarsky is playing 1/3 two tables over. No doubt playing for the freeroll. Pretty sure Hal used to play the 10/20 game at the Mirage. I wonder how much he pays his reader? Is it a flat rate or a percentage? Gawd, playing him heads up would be brutal.
I wonder if it would be possible to throw his reader off? Like pretending to fall asleep at the table and betting the wrong amounts. Maybe blowing a vomit burp his way. I think tilting his reader would be the best way to beat him.
I pretty much coast through the last hour.
Hour #6 results:
+$554 in poker
3 heinekens
+$82.50
Shiiiiiiit. I clocked out too early and only got 5 hours and 50 minutes credited to me. 34:10 to go.
JDN
1.07.2009
Poker on Fremont
January is gonna be pretty slow for me since I couldn't sat into the Aussie Millions or the PCA. Time to go downtown. Its the weekend after new years so there will be alot of people in town to fill up the cheap tournaments.
So Jeremiah, katkin and I make it downtown in time for the 7pm $65 tournament at the Golden Nugget. We start with 2000 in chips and with a $40 rebuy we can get another 3000.
I order heineken #1 and take my seat at table 6 seat 9.
Table draw:
Seat 1: old guy that looks like Kyle Gass from tenacious d
Seat 2: empty
Seat 3: old balding guy with a Hawaiian shirt on. Isn't it a bit cold for that?
Seat 4: another older guy worrying about whether or not he can afford the rebuy.
Seat 5: really old guy playing way too tight for a $65 tournament.
Seat 6: empty
Seat 7: Jeremiah smith
Seat 8: crazy old guy that mumbles to himself. Then again, he maybe talking to me.
Seat 9: jdn
Seat 10: younger guy that left the tournament for 10 mins to go to the ATM to get his rebuy.
I get it all in on the 4th hand of the tournament with 7d5d vs Mumbles' A8 vs Miah's 65 off. Needless to say,I end up playing the board and am left with 500. Miah rebuys and Mumbles takes the pot.
I get it in again the very next hand with A7 vs Mumbles' KK. This guy is on fire! Rebuy!
No long afterward Jeremiah busts with 27 vs Mumbles' A2. He's unstoppable folks.
Katkin is at the other table, there's only two tables, and he's treading water at the "tight" table.
Mumbles finally loses all his chips in a race and he has to rebuy. He's mortal after all.
Where the he'll is that cocktail waitress? I'm parched over here.
Jeremiah texted me from Binions. Apparently they swapped the 6pm and the 8pm tournies. So the 8pm is a $55 instead. Weak sauce.
I actually make the break with 3800. Katkin busted on the last hand before break so we book it over to Binions to check it out.
When we get over there I make eye contact with Amir Vahedi. He's playing the 6pm. Wow when times are tough, times are tough. As katkin buys in I say hi to amir and he tells me he's a little embarrassed that he's playing at Binions.
Don't worry about it buddy. I'm playing at the Nugget. In a $65 tournament. Two weeks ago I was playing the $15k at the bellagio. So poor.
In the restroom I see a guy getting his reeboks polished. That's baller.
Four hands after break we get down to 10 players and the final table. Sweet! And I'm not the shortest at the table. Of course I get the big blind with blinds at 200/400.
Heineken #2 finally shows up.
In the small blind, the button raises to 1500 and I push in for 3400. Big blind folds and the button calls. I show 66 and he shows AhJh. The board runs out 6 8 J J 5. Hahaha. Ship it! I double to 7200.
Two hands later I get it all in on a flop of 2c 8c 2s with AcQc vs Crazy Ivan's 99. A Queen on the turn seals the deal but a club hit the river to rub it in. 15,000.
8 players left and 3 places pay.
We get down to 7 when Mumbles gets all in with bottom pair vs kings and hit his 2 pair on the river. This guy is amazing.
We color up the 100 chips and I got 17,500. Cocktail waitress is no where to be seen.
I just realized that seat 7 is missing the end of his middle finger on his left hand. Missing digits at the poker table is a bad sign and nothing ever good comes of it.
The missing finger guy recongizes Jeremiah, from what I assume was his donk fest in this years main event. I yell over to Miah, who's busted out of binions and now playing cash at the next table, that he just got recongized for being on TV. The dealer says, "Ohhh yeah. I saw him on the WSOP."
I make everyone that can hear me knows that the donkey from the WSOP is playing 1/2.
I take another 7k off Mumbles to get up 24,000.
Still no heineken.
After busting a short stack I get up to 31,000. We're down to 5.
Missing says that he played softball with Jeremiah. That takes the wind outta sails but I still LOL'd.
I bust Crazy Ivan with T2. That's Doyle's hand! On the money bubble! I'm a pretty big chip leader. I got more than half the chips in play.
40k on break.
In the money! Mumbles busts the short stack and I'm chip leader.
The 4th heineken magically appears. My mana is almost full.
Play somehow slows, I'm not sure how, but I bust the other short stack with A3 vs his 86.
I get heads up with Mumbles with a 3 to 1 chip lead. Play slows some more as I wait for Mumbles, who's name I find out later is Lynn (hahaha), to get bored and start over shoving with shit hands.
It takes about 12 minutes for him to call reraise me with J5. I call with AK and I'm a winner. Yes I am.
Ship the $740 to me. Just in time for the Binions 10pm.
Binions $75 10pm tournament.
I get over to binions at 10:05 to buy into the 10pm tourney but they changed the tourney schedule today. It starts at 11. Balls. Let's find the cash games.
I manage to lose 300 at 1/2 in about 30 min. Most of it to Jeremiah and his donkey ass.
I buy into the tournament with 7 minutes to spare so I hit the black jack table. And I win. Sweet. Buy in is paid for.
Table 32 seat 1
Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: quiet guy
Seat 3: a member of the raider nation. He's wearing a Gannon jersey so he's still living the past.
Seat 4: random white guy
Seat 5: mr long cornrow guy. Looks like he hasn't had then done in a couple of weeks. Too much downtown for this guy.
Seat 6: random over betting white guy
Seat 7: George mutherfucken Lucas
Seat 8: old guy that already busted
Seat 9: random African american. Is that the PC term?
Seat 10: random play everything white guy
I come storming out of the gate and lose every hand I play. I've lost 4000 in the first level.
Heineken #6 arrives.
Blinds go up to 100/200 and I got 1900 left. Shove or fold time.
I double through seat 9 with A4 vs KQ and pair my 4. Yeah boy!
Then the weirdest hand I've ever played happened. They gray haired lady, who I find out later is George Lucas' wife, and I accuse them of cheating later on, in seat 7 raises to 800 with blinds at 150/300. 6 peeps call including myself with 8h6h. The flop is 3 8 5. I bet 1200, seat 4 calls, seat 6 moves, I call.
Oops. The action is on the old lady in seat 7. She folds and we call for the floor for a ruling. My call stands and my chips go into the middle. Seat 6 shows a set of 3s. Oops. I need runner runner to win.
The turn is a 6. Okay we can work with that. The river is a 4. Fuck. Wait. Wait. WAIT! There's only two burn cards. The dealer didn't burn the turn.
I've never seen this before! So we call the real floor over. We count the muck up and it's an even number. It should be an odd number. She missed the turn burn.
The 6 should be a burn and the 4 is the turn. We see the river burn which is a jack and the real river is a 7. That gives me a straight. Holy moley! I dunno if that's the right call from the floor but I'll take it.
15k at break.
George Lucas kills me twice on the river after we get it all in on the turn and I'm way ahead. So poor.
Down to 2000 I double twice somehow as my 8th or 9th heineken shows up.
In the 800/1600 level I put the big blind all in from the small blind with Qc8c vs 9d3d. The board runs out spade spade spade spade 3. Fuuuuck.
I actually make the final table as the short stack and 5 pay. I think I can fold to the money.
On the first hand back from break the big blind is on the phone and his hand is mucked. I move in for 6k with Jd3d. Everyone folds. Sweet. I survive another orbit.
I bust in 8th against the guy that I hit the straight on when his 89 out flops my A5.
Onto the 2am tourney.
Binions $55 2am
I move to the 2 table tournament. I'm on table 21 seat 5. I get my stack up to 6000 pretty quickly but I lose it to a moron in seat 8. It's limped to me in the big blind and I have 66. I raise it to 1100 and moron moves in for 3600. I call and he shows 9T. Don't you worry. A 9 on the river gives him his hand. Moron.
A couple orbits later I get it all in with with QQ vs KK vs AQ. Fuuuuuck me in the eye hole. Oh wait! I hit the one outter on the river to triple up. Sweet. That my first one outter in a live tourney.
8k at break.
Final table! Again. I'm a machine!
I'm about average at this final table from a tournament of 19 people. This is my bread and butter.
I stopped taking notes at this point, probably due to heineken #10 or so.
Somehow I bust out of the tournament and Katkin and I hit up the blackjack table.
I buy in for a couple of hundo and before I know it I've ran through all my winnings. Katkin meekly tries to stop me but I say fuck it and order another heineken. Down to my last hundo when this guy just sits down at the table with us and just watches us play. This isn't going to end well.
I run my hundo back up to a sweet dime before we stand up. The non-playing starring guy follows us to the elevator at the back of Binions, which is the scariest elevator evar!
Oops we forgot to validate the parking ticket. Back to the cage to validate it a second time. We lose the tail.
Quick thinking on my part saves me from having to punch a fool's lights out. Realistically it probably saved me from getting stabbed and bleeding to death in Binions parking lot.
On the way, at the toll booth, some drunkard bumps his minivan into the back of Katkin's brand new BMW. I get out of the car to tell the fucker to back up and we start yelling at each other. He won't backup. It gets more heated.
I may get stabbed yet!
I can tell Katkin is kinda getting nervous and the lady in toll booth is starting to freak out. I flip the guy off and tell him to move his shitty minivan. Katkin finally says, "Let's just go."
The toll booth lady doesn't charge us and we head home as the sun starts to rise.
Good times.
JDN
PS Of course we had to stop at the Porchlight Bar and Grill for some vegi quesadillas and Heineken. And I killed the video blackjack even though it cheats.
So Jeremiah, katkin and I make it downtown in time for the 7pm $65 tournament at the Golden Nugget. We start with 2000 in chips and with a $40 rebuy we can get another 3000.
I order heineken #1 and take my seat at table 6 seat 9.
Table draw:
Seat 1: old guy that looks like Kyle Gass from tenacious d
Seat 2: empty
Seat 3: old balding guy with a Hawaiian shirt on. Isn't it a bit cold for that?
Seat 4: another older guy worrying about whether or not he can afford the rebuy.
Seat 5: really old guy playing way too tight for a $65 tournament.
Seat 6: empty
Seat 7: Jeremiah smith
Seat 8: crazy old guy that mumbles to himself. Then again, he maybe talking to me.
Seat 9: jdn
Seat 10: younger guy that left the tournament for 10 mins to go to the ATM to get his rebuy.
I get it all in on the 4th hand of the tournament with 7d5d vs Mumbles' A8 vs Miah's 65 off. Needless to say,I end up playing the board and am left with 500. Miah rebuys and Mumbles takes the pot.
I get it in again the very next hand with A7 vs Mumbles' KK. This guy is on fire! Rebuy!
No long afterward Jeremiah busts with 27 vs Mumbles' A2. He's unstoppable folks.
Katkin is at the other table, there's only two tables, and he's treading water at the "tight" table.
Mumbles finally loses all his chips in a race and he has to rebuy. He's mortal after all.
Where the he'll is that cocktail waitress? I'm parched over here.
Jeremiah texted me from Binions. Apparently they swapped the 6pm and the 8pm tournies. So the 8pm is a $55 instead. Weak sauce.
I actually make the break with 3800. Katkin busted on the last hand before break so we book it over to Binions to check it out.
When we get over there I make eye contact with Amir Vahedi. He's playing the 6pm. Wow when times are tough, times are tough. As katkin buys in I say hi to amir and he tells me he's a little embarrassed that he's playing at Binions.
Don't worry about it buddy. I'm playing at the Nugget. In a $65 tournament. Two weeks ago I was playing the $15k at the bellagio. So poor.
In the restroom I see a guy getting his reeboks polished. That's baller.
Four hands after break we get down to 10 players and the final table. Sweet! And I'm not the shortest at the table. Of course I get the big blind with blinds at 200/400.
Heineken #2 finally shows up.
In the small blind, the button raises to 1500 and I push in for 3400. Big blind folds and the button calls. I show 66 and he shows AhJh. The board runs out 6 8 J J 5. Hahaha. Ship it! I double to 7200.
Two hands later I get it all in on a flop of 2c 8c 2s with AcQc vs Crazy Ivan's 99. A Queen on the turn seals the deal but a club hit the river to rub it in. 15,000.
8 players left and 3 places pay.
We get down to 7 when Mumbles gets all in with bottom pair vs kings and hit his 2 pair on the river. This guy is amazing.
We color up the 100 chips and I got 17,500. Cocktail waitress is no where to be seen.
I just realized that seat 7 is missing the end of his middle finger on his left hand. Missing digits at the poker table is a bad sign and nothing ever good comes of it.
The missing finger guy recongizes Jeremiah, from what I assume was his donk fest in this years main event. I yell over to Miah, who's busted out of binions and now playing cash at the next table, that he just got recongized for being on TV. The dealer says, "Ohhh yeah. I saw him on the WSOP."
I make everyone that can hear me knows that the donkey from the WSOP is playing 1/2.
I take another 7k off Mumbles to get up 24,000.
Still no heineken.
After busting a short stack I get up to 31,000. We're down to 5.
Missing says that he played softball with Jeremiah. That takes the wind outta sails but I still LOL'd.
I bust Crazy Ivan with T2. That's Doyle's hand! On the money bubble! I'm a pretty big chip leader. I got more than half the chips in play.
40k on break.
In the money! Mumbles busts the short stack and I'm chip leader.
The 4th heineken magically appears. My mana is almost full.
Play somehow slows, I'm not sure how, but I bust the other short stack with A3 vs his 86.
I get heads up with Mumbles with a 3 to 1 chip lead. Play slows some more as I wait for Mumbles, who's name I find out later is Lynn (hahaha), to get bored and start over shoving with shit hands.
It takes about 12 minutes for him to call reraise me with J5. I call with AK and I'm a winner. Yes I am.
Ship the $740 to me. Just in time for the Binions 10pm.
Binions $75 10pm tournament.
I get over to binions at 10:05 to buy into the 10pm tourney but they changed the tourney schedule today. It starts at 11. Balls. Let's find the cash games.
I manage to lose 300 at 1/2 in about 30 min. Most of it to Jeremiah and his donkey ass.
I buy into the tournament with 7 minutes to spare so I hit the black jack table. And I win. Sweet. Buy in is paid for.
Table 32 seat 1
Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: quiet guy
Seat 3: a member of the raider nation. He's wearing a Gannon jersey so he's still living the past.
Seat 4: random white guy
Seat 5: mr long cornrow guy. Looks like he hasn't had then done in a couple of weeks. Too much downtown for this guy.
Seat 6: random over betting white guy
Seat 7: George mutherfucken Lucas
Seat 8: old guy that already busted
Seat 9: random African american. Is that the PC term?
Seat 10: random play everything white guy
I come storming out of the gate and lose every hand I play. I've lost 4000 in the first level.
Heineken #6 arrives.
Blinds go up to 100/200 and I got 1900 left. Shove or fold time.
I double through seat 9 with A4 vs KQ and pair my 4. Yeah boy!
Then the weirdest hand I've ever played happened. They gray haired lady, who I find out later is George Lucas' wife, and I accuse them of cheating later on, in seat 7 raises to 800 with blinds at 150/300. 6 peeps call including myself with 8h6h. The flop is 3 8 5. I bet 1200, seat 4 calls, seat 6 moves, I call.
Oops. The action is on the old lady in seat 7. She folds and we call for the floor for a ruling. My call stands and my chips go into the middle. Seat 6 shows a set of 3s. Oops. I need runner runner to win.
The turn is a 6. Okay we can work with that. The river is a 4. Fuck. Wait. Wait. WAIT! There's only two burn cards. The dealer didn't burn the turn.
I've never seen this before! So we call the real floor over. We count the muck up and it's an even number. It should be an odd number. She missed the turn burn.
The 6 should be a burn and the 4 is the turn. We see the river burn which is a jack and the real river is a 7. That gives me a straight. Holy moley! I dunno if that's the right call from the floor but I'll take it.
15k at break.
George Lucas kills me twice on the river after we get it all in on the turn and I'm way ahead. So poor.
Down to 2000 I double twice somehow as my 8th or 9th heineken shows up.
In the 800/1600 level I put the big blind all in from the small blind with Qc8c vs 9d3d. The board runs out spade spade spade spade 3. Fuuuuck.
I actually make the final table as the short stack and 5 pay. I think I can fold to the money.
On the first hand back from break the big blind is on the phone and his hand is mucked. I move in for 6k with Jd3d. Everyone folds. Sweet. I survive another orbit.
I bust in 8th against the guy that I hit the straight on when his 89 out flops my A5.
Onto the 2am tourney.
Binions $55 2am
I move to the 2 table tournament. I'm on table 21 seat 5. I get my stack up to 6000 pretty quickly but I lose it to a moron in seat 8. It's limped to me in the big blind and I have 66. I raise it to 1100 and moron moves in for 3600. I call and he shows 9T. Don't you worry. A 9 on the river gives him his hand. Moron.
A couple orbits later I get it all in with with QQ vs KK vs AQ. Fuuuuuck me in the eye hole. Oh wait! I hit the one outter on the river to triple up. Sweet. That my first one outter in a live tourney.
8k at break.
Final table! Again. I'm a machine!
I'm about average at this final table from a tournament of 19 people. This is my bread and butter.
I stopped taking notes at this point, probably due to heineken #10 or so.
Somehow I bust out of the tournament and Katkin and I hit up the blackjack table.
I buy in for a couple of hundo and before I know it I've ran through all my winnings. Katkin meekly tries to stop me but I say fuck it and order another heineken. Down to my last hundo when this guy just sits down at the table with us and just watches us play. This isn't going to end well.
I run my hundo back up to a sweet dime before we stand up. The non-playing starring guy follows us to the elevator at the back of Binions, which is the scariest elevator evar!
Oops we forgot to validate the parking ticket. Back to the cage to validate it a second time. We lose the tail.
Quick thinking on my part saves me from having to punch a fool's lights out. Realistically it probably saved me from getting stabbed and bleeding to death in Binions parking lot.
On the way, at the toll booth, some drunkard bumps his minivan into the back of Katkin's brand new BMW. I get out of the car to tell the fucker to back up and we start yelling at each other. He won't backup. It gets more heated.
I may get stabbed yet!
I can tell Katkin is kinda getting nervous and the lady in toll booth is starting to freak out. I flip the guy off and tell him to move his shitty minivan. Katkin finally says, "Let's just go."
The toll booth lady doesn't charge us and we head home as the sun starts to rise.
Good times.
JDN
PS Of course we had to stop at the Porchlight Bar and Grill for some vegi quesadillas and Heineken. And I killed the video blackjack even though it cheats.
12.29.2008
Its kinda slow this time of year...
and I've been surfing the world wide web. A lot. I've seen things I shouldn't have and I've shared them with others. But the other day I came across this jpeg of Erick Lindgren's senior year picture.
Needless to say, it looks like Erick chose to forgo the thespian route.
JDN
 |
Needless to say, it looks like Erick chose to forgo the thespian route.
JDN
12.21.2008
I hate christmas..
but this is kinda funny. Staring yours truly, Jeremiah Smith, Layne Flack, Gavin Smith, and a monkey.
Happy Holidays from Poker WTF!
Happy Holidays from Poker WTF!
12.16.2008
Weekend Activities in North Hollywood (Updated with video link)
Hi everyone, normally this blog is about poker tournaments, bust outs, bad beats, sick Asian gamblers, JDN not being able to muck bottom pair etc. Well not tonight, LA Mike is really emotional right now. I just found out that I missed the secret show that The Cure played in Hollywood on Saturday night. Wtf, I run so damn bad. 3 f'n hours of The Cure in a tiny, standing room only venue. My Christmas was just ruined...GG life.
But I have a special Christmas/Hanukkah present for anyone who has had the pleasure of being seated at a poker table with 'Hollywood' Dan errr Dave. Chances are the blackjack pro turned poker wannabe has berated you at the table whether it be online or live. Well, 'Hollywood' won a tourney online and wanted to celebrate in style. It's fairly well known, I hate partaking in cocktails but what was I to do? He wanted to celebrate his win! So myself, Melissa and Dom who I was hanging out with, hit the streets during Winter Storm '08 even though it was already like 1:15am. By the way, I've never seen the news blow a little bit of rain so much out of proportion.
Being that we live in LA and the bars close at the stupid hour of 2am, (you can't buy alcohol from the store past 2am either) we were only able to get 2 drinks in so we had to take the celebration to a residence.
Combining that you can't buy alcohol past 2am and that the private residence is occupied by Melissa, well lets just say she really likes alcohol. In fact, the night before she downed an entire bottle of Grey Goose so we knew the alcohol supply was pretty low. On hand, we had some beer, a big bottle of champagne and some peppermint schnapps. That was all. Brutal beat! We so weren't prepared for this impromptu HD celebration.
Time to improvise. Melissa and I spot a homeless man who had just purchased a bottle of vodka outside a store. Thankfully, he hadn't dug into it yet (as I'm super OCD and a germ-o-phobe). We pull up next to him and offer him cash for the bottle. Seems like a good deal for everyone especially since he told us he just got out of jail the previous day. I ask how much he paid for it, he says like $20. I offer him $40...which actually ended up being $38 or $39 but whatever. We score the bottle and I proceed to pour him some vodka into his juice bottle. We bolt toward Melissa's place, score one for the good guys!
The four of us proceed to polish off some of the alcohol and random prop betting ensues. Believe it or not, 'Hollywood' brought up being tased and low and behold, Melissa happens to own a taser. I mean, why wouldn't she right? After about an hour of deliberation, Melissa charged up the taser and it was going to be aimed at 'Hollywood'. This video was apparently taken at the scene. It is not intended for a youth audience but more so for peeps who have been berated by 'HD' at the tables over the years!
One other thing I wanted to add in this blog was something I saw on the very popular craigslist. It was an entry titled "Professional Witness". I personally found it absolutely hilarious. Check it out at http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/lgs/958055676.html
Happy Holidays to all...Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Quanza etc... and a very safe New Year!
Video update: For some reason the video won't upload but I've provided the next best thing. Here's a link to the video. Remember, this is a rather disgusting sight and shouldn't be viewed by kids or anyone with a faint heart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9InCBih1opw
But I have a special Christmas/Hanukkah present for anyone who has had the pleasure of being seated at a poker table with 'Hollywood' Dan errr Dave. Chances are the blackjack pro turned poker wannabe has berated you at the table whether it be online or live. Well, 'Hollywood' won a tourney online and wanted to celebrate in style. It's fairly well known, I hate partaking in cocktails but what was I to do? He wanted to celebrate his win! So myself, Melissa and Dom who I was hanging out with, hit the streets during Winter Storm '08 even though it was already like 1:15am. By the way, I've never seen the news blow a little bit of rain so much out of proportion.
Being that we live in LA and the bars close at the stupid hour of 2am, (you can't buy alcohol from the store past 2am either) we were only able to get 2 drinks in so we had to take the celebration to a residence.
Combining that you can't buy alcohol past 2am and that the private residence is occupied by Melissa, well lets just say she really likes alcohol. In fact, the night before she downed an entire bottle of Grey Goose so we knew the alcohol supply was pretty low. On hand, we had some beer, a big bottle of champagne and some peppermint schnapps. That was all. Brutal beat! We so weren't prepared for this impromptu HD celebration.
Time to improvise. Melissa and I spot a homeless man who had just purchased a bottle of vodka outside a store. Thankfully, he hadn't dug into it yet (as I'm super OCD and a germ-o-phobe). We pull up next to him and offer him cash for the bottle. Seems like a good deal for everyone especially since he told us he just got out of jail the previous day. I ask how much he paid for it, he says like $20. I offer him $40...which actually ended up being $38 or $39 but whatever. We score the bottle and I proceed to pour him some vodka into his juice bottle. We bolt toward Melissa's place, score one for the good guys!
The four of us proceed to polish off some of the alcohol and random prop betting ensues. Believe it or not, 'Hollywood' brought up being tased and low and behold, Melissa happens to own a taser. I mean, why wouldn't she right? After about an hour of deliberation, Melissa charged up the taser and it was going to be aimed at 'Hollywood'. This video was apparently taken at the scene. It is not intended for a youth audience but more so for peeps who have been berated by 'HD' at the tables over the years!
One other thing I wanted to add in this blog was something I saw on the very popular craigslist. It was an entry titled "Professional Witness". I personally found it absolutely hilarious. Check it out at http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/lgs/958055676.html
Happy Holidays to all...Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Quanza etc... and a very safe New Year!
Video update: For some reason the video won't upload but I've provided the next best thing. Here's a link to the video. Remember, this is a rather disgusting sight and shouldn't be viewed by kids or anyone with a faint heart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9InCBih1opw
12.15.2008
Bellagio 5 Diamond day 2
Woke up this morning and it was snowing. Yes. Snowing in Las Vegas. On Dec. 15. Global warming my ass.
Table 64 seat 7 (that's the table on the stage)
Table draw... Good god
Seat 1: Ralph Perry
Seat 2: Internet kid who shops at urban outfitters. He's wearing a "It's good to be gangsta" hoodie.
Seat 3: Devon Porter, him again.
Seat 4: Doyle Brunson
Seat 5: Carlos Mortensen
Seat 6: younger Asian guy that I recgonize
Seat 7: JDN
Seat 8: Eric Cajelais or Eric Casualgay as Roland de Wolfe calls him.
Seat 9: random Asian guy
Jeebus. How do I play this table? I guess I either play crazy tight or crazy crazy. We'll how this first level goes before I make that decision.
Devon porter is starting to look a little like Roland de Wolfe.
Clonie Gowen and Howard Lederer are at the same table. Ohhhh I wish my table would break and I could move there.
Seat 9 busts when Carlos runner runners a flush on him. The failed musician from day 1 takes his seat.
Carlos is taking over the table. I sooo happy I'm on his left. Not that it would matter with the cards I'm getting.
38,400 at break. Completely card dead.
Special shout out to BJ Nemeth for letting charge my iPod during break.
The failed musician gets he kings cracked by Devon's 88. Haha. Payback is a bitch mofo!
With blinds at 500/1000 with a 100 ante, I look down at 55 under the gun and raise it to 3000. Doyle calls from the button. The flop falls 9h 8h 4s. I bet out 5000 think that he's got two overs and I could pick this pot up, even though I missed the set for at least the 30th time in a row. Doyle calls. Opps.
The turn is the Qd. I bet out quickly, throwing 11,000 out. Hope he doesn't have a queen. He folds. Sweet! That's the second hand I've won today. Back up 41k.
The very next hand, Eric Casualgay limps under the gun. Doyle, Carlos, and the small blind call. I check the option with 67. The flop comes 6 5 4. I likely. Check check, Eric bets 4k. Here comes my check raise... but the small blind calls. Arrgh. I just call. The turn is a 2. Small blind checks and I bet out 7500.
Now this is where I decided to move in if I get raised. Eric thinks about it for a while. He's shrugging his shoulders, counting out his chips, even thing picking up the cards like he's going to fold. He does that twice. Odd. He finally raises to about 22k, I didn't even bother to look really. As long as the small blind folds I'm going to snap move in. Small blind folds.
"All in."
Out of the corner of my eye I see Eric roll his eyes. Then he counts out his chips, calls, and asks if I got the nuts. I love when people call an all in and think they're losing. Now if I could just have a winning hand. One time.
He shows 33 for the 6 high straight. Ok. He took away two of my outs. I orginally thought he had an over pair or AsKs. The turn would have given him a flush draw. Obv, I was effected by that check raise bluff from Vancouver. Still got six outs.
The river is a red jack. GG.
This is only hand during the whole tournament where I was in the position to suck out and I didn't get there. WTF?
JDN
Knew I would see this today.
Table 64 seat 7 (that's the table on the stage)
Table draw... Good god
Seat 1: Ralph Perry
Seat 2: Internet kid who shops at urban outfitters. He's wearing a "It's good to be gangsta" hoodie.
Seat 3: Devon Porter, him again.
Seat 4: Doyle Brunson
Seat 5: Carlos Mortensen
Seat 6: younger Asian guy that I recgonize
Seat 7: JDN
Seat 8: Eric Cajelais or Eric Casualgay as Roland de Wolfe calls him.
Seat 9: random Asian guy
Jeebus. How do I play this table? I guess I either play crazy tight or crazy crazy. We'll how this first level goes before I make that decision.
Devon porter is starting to look a little like Roland de Wolfe.
Clonie Gowen and Howard Lederer are at the same table. Ohhhh I wish my table would break and I could move there.
Seat 9 busts when Carlos runner runners a flush on him. The failed musician from day 1 takes his seat.
Carlos is taking over the table. I sooo happy I'm on his left. Not that it would matter with the cards I'm getting.
38,400 at break. Completely card dead.
Special shout out to BJ Nemeth for letting charge my iPod during break.
The failed musician gets he kings cracked by Devon's 88. Haha. Payback is a bitch mofo!
With blinds at 500/1000 with a 100 ante, I look down at 55 under the gun and raise it to 3000. Doyle calls from the button. The flop falls 9h 8h 4s. I bet out 5000 think that he's got two overs and I could pick this pot up, even though I missed the set for at least the 30th time in a row. Doyle calls. Opps.
The turn is the Qd. I bet out quickly, throwing 11,000 out. Hope he doesn't have a queen. He folds. Sweet! That's the second hand I've won today. Back up 41k.
The very next hand, Eric Casualgay limps under the gun. Doyle, Carlos, and the small blind call. I check the option with 67. The flop comes 6 5 4. I likely. Check check, Eric bets 4k. Here comes my check raise... but the small blind calls. Arrgh. I just call. The turn is a 2. Small blind checks and I bet out 7500.
Now this is where I decided to move in if I get raised. Eric thinks about it for a while. He's shrugging his shoulders, counting out his chips, even thing picking up the cards like he's going to fold. He does that twice. Odd. He finally raises to about 22k, I didn't even bother to look really. As long as the small blind folds I'm going to snap move in. Small blind folds.
"All in."
Out of the corner of my eye I see Eric roll his eyes. Then he counts out his chips, calls, and asks if I got the nuts. I love when people call an all in and think they're losing. Now if I could just have a winning hand. One time.
He shows 33 for the 6 high straight. Ok. He took away two of my outs. I orginally thought he had an over pair or AsKs. The turn would have given him a flush draw. Obv, I was effected by that check raise bluff from Vancouver. Still got six outs.
The river is a red jack. GG.
This is only hand during the whole tournament where I was in the position to suck out and I didn't get there. WTF?
JDN
12.14.2008
Bellagio Doyle something Diamond something 15K
I planned to arrive a few minutes late but I forgot that the bellagio's clocks are 10 minutes slow, so I arrived 20 minutes early. Go figure.
I lose 3100 preflop to Dan Shak. It was folded to me on the button. After standard raise to 300 with QQ, Dan raises to 1300. Hmmm. I'm not sure how he plays, but he could probably do that with a lot of hands.
I reraise to 3100 and he rereraises to 8100. So poor. I look down at his ipod and he's listening to ABBA. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is. I fold my queens face up and he shows kings. Pfffft!
Table draw:
Table 56 seat 6
Seat 1: rwg with a leather jacket. He looks like a failed musician.
Seat 2: rowg with a hat that says "GIBO" on it. I not going to assume the OBV and say that he's just a big fan of gibbons and ran out of money and or space on the hat to write the full word out.
Seat 3: massive white dude with an Oklahoma hoodie on. Wow. They grow them big in the cowboy state. He totally could play the Blob in the new Wolverine movie.
Seat 4: Jon "pearljammer" Turner. A ginger.
Seat 5: rwg. Probably an accountant.
Seat 6: jdn
Seat 7: Dan "my wife has giant boobs" Shak
Seat 8: rywg definitely and Internet nerd
Seat 9: rwg trying to be euro. Fail!
Seat 10: I think it's Devon Porter. He's wearing FTP and cardrunners gear. So he could be any of those guy. Maybe he's Cole Trickle.
In middle position I raise to 300 with AQ and get called by Internet kid in seat 8 and pearljammer in seat 4. The flop comes Q Q 5. Check, check, 525 from seat 8 and a call from pearl. Really?
After a moment of thought I raise to 1200. Seat 8 folds and pearl reraises to 3000. Wait what?
There's no way I'm folding this hand and if he's got 55, so be it. I'm just going to call him down. So I call.
The turn is a 4 and he bets 3600. I quickly call. After a 9 on the river, he checks it to me. Wait what?
I'm confused. I decide to play it safe and not give him the option to check raise me. I check. Pearljammer says nice hand and mucks. Sweet!
Our dealer Janet looks like she's from DragonBall Z. She not afraid to use hair gel for effect.
47825 at break. That's good
Big hand (that I avoid)! Pearljammer raises to 525, seat 5 makes it 1750. I look down a two black nines. Screw it. I fold. Seat 8, turns out to be Coby Slowball or something reraises to 4600. Seat 10, now confirmed as Devin Porter, rereraises to 16000. Holy moley!
Pearl throws it away pretty quick and seat 5 thinks about it for a few before mucking.
Coby rerereraises to something and Devon moves in. Coby calls and shows KK. Devon shows AA. Aiyeah.
Seat 5 tells Coby that he had kings too. Seat 9 says he fold QQ. Wow. The board runs out 4 8 8 9 6. Fuck.
Coby out and replaced by a rag. SAG rating tbd.
Confirmed SAG. He raised under the gun blind and called a flop bet blind.
$44,950 at break. I'm doing it wrong! But I made my 2nd 2nd break in a row.
The SAG is outta control. He's played 5 hands straight blind. And he's winning!
Card dead.
I can hear "I wanna make love in this club" on Dan Shak's headphones. I'm wearing my headphones to boot. How is he not deaf?
Completely fucking card dead the whole level until the last hand.
Super sag in seat 8 blind limps under the gun and failed musician in seat 1 raises to 800. In the small blind I look down at KdKc. I reraise to 2100.
Super sag folds, amazing, and failure boy calls. The flops comes Ac Qd Jc. I bet 4100. He calls. The turn is the jack of diamonds. Check check. He's gotta have AK right? The river is the Tc. I got a straight but the board is paired and there is a flush out there too. Check check. Cool we chop.
I show my kings and shows his 5c6c. Sweet titty fucker!? Did he not see me play a hand the whole level? Go back to your bankrupt recording studio.
$32,100 at 3rd break. That means it's Heineken time.
Still got about 80 big blinds. No need to panic but I'll order Heineken #2.
On the table behind me I just heard Doyle say, "He looks like a Jew to me." Completely out of context, it made me laugh.
Table break!
Table redraw:
Table 60 seat 10 (I hate seat 10)
Seat 1: Gibo from the other table
Seat 2: super sag from the other table
Seat 3: random Indian guy
Seat 4: random euro with a mini fan at the table.
Seat 5: rwg
Seat 6: Shane Schleger
Seat 7: random Aussie
Seat 8: john phan
Seat 9: john smith, yes that his real name. He's an old white guy with an uncreative name that's been on the tournament circuit for years.
Seat 10: JDN
As soon as I sit down john phan orders me another Heineken as well as 1 for himself and john smith.
The random Aussie is harry demetriou, jeremiah smith arch nemesis. Not sure if he's actually Aussie though.
Seat 10 + Heineken = success. I've won a couple of smallish pot with timed bets and gotten back up to 42k.
Down 37k and I'm getting kinda bored. I look down at two black 7s and raise it to 1675. Super sag, who's calmed down since moving to this table, calls. The flop falls Qs 2s 4d. I bet 2500. He calls.
The turn is something smallish that's not a spade. I bet 3600. He calls.
The river something else that's not a spade. I bet 7000. He folds. I muck 77. Sweet.
Fuck. Thinking about it, I think the flop was Qs 9h 2h. I was fading hearts. Not spades. Either way I played it the same.
Anywoot. I make it to day 2 with $45,700. 7 1/2 hours to make 700. In tournament chips. Bitchen'.
JDN
I lose 3100 preflop to Dan Shak. It was folded to me on the button. After standard raise to 300 with QQ, Dan raises to 1300. Hmmm. I'm not sure how he plays, but he could probably do that with a lot of hands.
I reraise to 3100 and he rereraises to 8100. So poor. I look down at his ipod and he's listening to ABBA. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is. I fold my queens face up and he shows kings. Pfffft!
Table draw:
Table 56 seat 6
Seat 1: rwg with a leather jacket. He looks like a failed musician.
Seat 2: rowg with a hat that says "GIBO" on it. I not going to assume the OBV and say that he's just a big fan of gibbons and ran out of money and or space on the hat to write the full word out.
Seat 3: massive white dude with an Oklahoma hoodie on. Wow. They grow them big in the cowboy state. He totally could play the Blob in the new Wolverine movie.
Seat 4: Jon "pearljammer" Turner. A ginger.
Seat 5: rwg. Probably an accountant.
Seat 6: jdn
Seat 7: Dan "my wife has giant boobs" Shak
Seat 8: rywg definitely and Internet nerd
Seat 9: rwg trying to be euro. Fail!
Seat 10: I think it's Devon Porter. He's wearing FTP and cardrunners gear. So he could be any of those guy. Maybe he's Cole Trickle.
In middle position I raise to 300 with AQ and get called by Internet kid in seat 8 and pearljammer in seat 4. The flop comes Q Q 5. Check, check, 525 from seat 8 and a call from pearl. Really?
After a moment of thought I raise to 1200. Seat 8 folds and pearl reraises to 3000. Wait what?
There's no way I'm folding this hand and if he's got 55, so be it. I'm just going to call him down. So I call.
The turn is a 4 and he bets 3600. I quickly call. After a 9 on the river, he checks it to me. Wait what?
I'm confused. I decide to play it safe and not give him the option to check raise me. I check. Pearljammer says nice hand and mucks. Sweet!
Our dealer Janet looks like she's from DragonBall Z. She not afraid to use hair gel for effect.
47825 at break. That's good
Big hand (that I avoid)! Pearljammer raises to 525, seat 5 makes it 1750. I look down a two black nines. Screw it. I fold. Seat 8, turns out to be Coby Slowball or something reraises to 4600. Seat 10, now confirmed as Devin Porter, rereraises to 16000. Holy moley!
Pearl throws it away pretty quick and seat 5 thinks about it for a few before mucking.
Coby rerereraises to something and Devon moves in. Coby calls and shows KK. Devon shows AA. Aiyeah.
Seat 5 tells Coby that he had kings too. Seat 9 says he fold QQ. Wow. The board runs out 4 8 8 9 6. Fuck.
Coby out and replaced by a rag. SAG rating tbd.
Confirmed SAG. He raised under the gun blind and called a flop bet blind.
$44,950 at break. I'm doing it wrong! But I made my 2nd 2nd break in a row.
The SAG is outta control. He's played 5 hands straight blind. And he's winning!
Card dead.
I can hear "I wanna make love in this club" on Dan Shak's headphones. I'm wearing my headphones to boot. How is he not deaf?
Completely fucking card dead the whole level until the last hand.
Super sag in seat 8 blind limps under the gun and failed musician in seat 1 raises to 800. In the small blind I look down at KdKc. I reraise to 2100.
Super sag folds, amazing, and failure boy calls. The flops comes Ac Qd Jc. I bet 4100. He calls. The turn is the jack of diamonds. Check check. He's gotta have AK right? The river is the Tc. I got a straight but the board is paired and there is a flush out there too. Check check. Cool we chop.
I show my kings and shows his 5c6c. Sweet titty fucker!? Did he not see me play a hand the whole level? Go back to your bankrupt recording studio.
$32,100 at 3rd break. That means it's Heineken time.
Still got about 80 big blinds. No need to panic but I'll order Heineken #2.
On the table behind me I just heard Doyle say, "He looks like a Jew to me." Completely out of context, it made me laugh.
Table break!
Table redraw:
Table 60 seat 10 (I hate seat 10)
Seat 1: Gibo from the other table
Seat 2: super sag from the other table
Seat 3: random Indian guy
Seat 4: random euro with a mini fan at the table.
Seat 5: rwg
Seat 6: Shane Schleger
Seat 7: random Aussie
Seat 8: john phan
Seat 9: john smith, yes that his real name. He's an old white guy with an uncreative name that's been on the tournament circuit for years.
Seat 10: JDN
As soon as I sit down john phan orders me another Heineken as well as 1 for himself and john smith.
The random Aussie is harry demetriou, jeremiah smith arch nemesis. Not sure if he's actually Aussie though.
Seat 10 + Heineken = success. I've won a couple of smallish pot with timed bets and gotten back up to 42k.
Down 37k and I'm getting kinda bored. I look down at two black 7s and raise it to 1675. Super sag, who's calmed down since moving to this table, calls. The flop falls Qs 2s 4d. I bet 2500. He calls.
The turn is something smallish that's not a spade. I bet 3600. He calls.
The river something else that's not a spade. I bet 7000. He folds. I muck 77. Sweet.
Fuck. Thinking about it, I think the flop was Qs 9h 2h. I was fading hearts. Not spades. Either way I played it the same.
Anywoot. I make it to day 2 with $45,700. 7 1/2 hours to make 700. In tournament chips. Bitchen'.
JDN
12.11.2008
Bellagio super sat
I normally don't do reports on sats (even though I should because it's the only thing I can constantly win at and bring less fail to this blog), but since this turned out to be a star studded event, it gets a write up.
Making short appearance in seat 1 was James Van Alstyne, JVA if you will.
Tony Cousineau is in seat 3 and the lovely Jennifer Tilly is in seat 7.
JVA dumps all his chips to Ms Tilly in a poorly timed continuation bluff.
The old lady in seat 2 is playing limit hold'em and I can't help but call if I'm in a hand with her.
Barry Greenstein is playing. Huh? This recession is a bitch.
I get Tony to lay down kings on a jack high flop. I show him queens. Snap.
In all honestly, which this game is all about, he might as well just have given me his chips. In the 3 way pot he tanked it after my flop bet. He said something about having kings before he made the crying call.
The turn put useless card on the board and he folded his hand face up. If you're going to make it that easy... We can do this all day.
I lose half my stack to seat 8 on a A J A 7 4 board with my AT vs his AJ. He had a big verbal tell when announced his check on the turn. I knew he had an ace but I thought I had him out kicked because he limped preflop.
1325 at break. Well... It's amazing that I actually made a break at the Bellagio but I stayed alive too long to make it to the Caesars 3pm. Bah!
I move in with A4 twice and don't get called. That's a first.
I double up with KT vs the A9 of seat 8 when a king hits the river. Sweet!
Roy Winston moves into Jennifer Tilly's seat after she ran into a flopped straight.
So, the payouts were posted (remember this is a satellite) and 18 places get seats. 19th place gets cash. $15. Yes. A $15 payout in a $1500 tournament. The tilt! Can you imagine?
I swear right now, if I get 19th, I'm dropping a deuce in the Bellagio lake.
I double up again with KJ vs 55 on flop of Q Q Q. Aiyeah. Don't worry, I get there and on the river no less. 3500.
I double yet again with AK vs QQ. A king on the flop and an ace on the turn seal the deal and I got 8k.
I punish Tony and seat 8 some more and get up to 17k. Blinds are at 300/600 with a 50 ante.
The old lady in seat 2 is missing the end of her right pinky. She could be yakuza. I will proceed with caution.
Yeeeeah boy! Made my first 2nd break at Bellagio. On the way out I make eye contact with David benyamine.
...
$16425 at break.
Here's an interesting hand. In a satellite! Crazy Russian (at least the 3rd one I've seen at this table (and Allen Kesslar doesn't seem so crazy)) raises my big blind to 2400 and I call from the with KJ off.
The flop falls 9 J 6. I think about what I should do and the CR bets 3500. WTF? The dealer burns... Whoa whoa whoa! I tell the dealer to call the floor. This guy has bet outta turn the last 3 hands he played.
This puts him on super steam. It's the cold war all over again. He's got shit and I know it. He didn't even count the chips out before he bets. After Tang (the tournament director for you non-Bellagio peeps) gives him a warning, I ask for a count. He can't even bother to count them all and says 15,000. He's got more than that.
I think a little more, letting the steam sink in a bit, before asking the dealer what the rules is. As he explains it, and I know what it is, I watch the CR as steam starts spewing out his ears.
How can I get all his chips? I think if I check raise after all this, he folds. If I bets what he bet, he folds. If I shove... If I shove he might call on accord of him being a CR. Hmmmmm.
"I'm all in." I announce. He snap calls. Oops. He shows KQ. Yeeeeah boy!
Blank blank and I'm up to 40K.
3 hands later Chad Layne (or Moore I can't remember) raises under the gun and old yakuza lady moves in. I look down at two black aces. I call. Chad whatshisname folds and she shows AQ. Sweet.
65Kish. I don't feel like counting.
With 26 players left the table breaks and I get moved to table 59. Ericka Schoenberg is in seat 6, Barry Greenstein is in seat 8, and Roy Winston is in seat 10. This table really adds to SEO value.
Roy Winston is telling stories about Allen Kesslar but he keeps calling him Allen Cunningham.
I ask Barry if he's ever played a tournament with a $15 payout. And Barry being Barry says yes, "A $3 rebuy on Stars." Everyone is a comedian.
65Kish at break.
I made $15 at video poker during the break, plus a free beer, and when I cashed out, the machine gave me a $100 bill and 15 dollar bills. WTF? I'm not playing a hand in this sat again.
Down to 19. Guaranteed $15. Sweet.
Winner winner chicken dinner.
Dunno what day I'm playing yet.
Update coming on Saturday. I'm thinking about sitting out day 1 to make day 2.
JDN
Making short appearance in seat 1 was James Van Alstyne, JVA if you will.
Tony Cousineau is in seat 3 and the lovely Jennifer Tilly is in seat 7.
JVA dumps all his chips to Ms Tilly in a poorly timed continuation bluff.
The old lady in seat 2 is playing limit hold'em and I can't help but call if I'm in a hand with her.
Barry Greenstein is playing. Huh? This recession is a bitch.
I get Tony to lay down kings on a jack high flop. I show him queens. Snap.
In all honestly, which this game is all about, he might as well just have given me his chips. In the 3 way pot he tanked it after my flop bet. He said something about having kings before he made the crying call.
The turn put useless card on the board and he folded his hand face up. If you're going to make it that easy... We can do this all day.
I lose half my stack to seat 8 on a A J A 7 4 board with my AT vs his AJ. He had a big verbal tell when announced his check on the turn. I knew he had an ace but I thought I had him out kicked because he limped preflop.
1325 at break. Well... It's amazing that I actually made a break at the Bellagio but I stayed alive too long to make it to the Caesars 3pm. Bah!
I move in with A4 twice and don't get called. That's a first.
I double up with KT vs the A9 of seat 8 when a king hits the river. Sweet!
Roy Winston moves into Jennifer Tilly's seat after she ran into a flopped straight.
So, the payouts were posted (remember this is a satellite) and 18 places get seats. 19th place gets cash. $15. Yes. A $15 payout in a $1500 tournament. The tilt! Can you imagine?
I swear right now, if I get 19th, I'm dropping a deuce in the Bellagio lake.
I double up again with KJ vs 55 on flop of Q Q Q. Aiyeah. Don't worry, I get there and on the river no less. 3500.
I double yet again with AK vs QQ. A king on the flop and an ace on the turn seal the deal and I got 8k.
I punish Tony and seat 8 some more and get up to 17k. Blinds are at 300/600 with a 50 ante.
The old lady in seat 2 is missing the end of her right pinky. She could be yakuza. I will proceed with caution.
Yeeeeah boy! Made my first 2nd break at Bellagio. On the way out I make eye contact with David benyamine.
...
$16425 at break.
Here's an interesting hand. In a satellite! Crazy Russian (at least the 3rd one I've seen at this table (and Allen Kesslar doesn't seem so crazy)) raises my big blind to 2400 and I call from the with KJ off.
The flop falls 9 J 6. I think about what I should do and the CR bets 3500. WTF? The dealer burns... Whoa whoa whoa! I tell the dealer to call the floor. This guy has bet outta turn the last 3 hands he played.
This puts him on super steam. It's the cold war all over again. He's got shit and I know it. He didn't even count the chips out before he bets. After Tang (the tournament director for you non-Bellagio peeps) gives him a warning, I ask for a count. He can't even bother to count them all and says 15,000. He's got more than that.
I think a little more, letting the steam sink in a bit, before asking the dealer what the rules is. As he explains it, and I know what it is, I watch the CR as steam starts spewing out his ears.
How can I get all his chips? I think if I check raise after all this, he folds. If I bets what he bet, he folds. If I shove... If I shove he might call on accord of him being a CR. Hmmmmm.
"I'm all in." I announce. He snap calls. Oops. He shows KQ. Yeeeeah boy!
Blank blank and I'm up to 40K.
3 hands later Chad Layne (or Moore I can't remember) raises under the gun and old yakuza lady moves in. I look down at two black aces. I call. Chad whatshisname folds and she shows AQ. Sweet.
65Kish. I don't feel like counting.
With 26 players left the table breaks and I get moved to table 59. Ericka Schoenberg is in seat 6, Barry Greenstein is in seat 8, and Roy Winston is in seat 10. This table really adds to SEO value.
Roy Winston is telling stories about Allen Kesslar but he keeps calling him Allen Cunningham.
I ask Barry if he's ever played a tournament with a $15 payout. And Barry being Barry says yes, "A $3 rebuy on Stars." Everyone is a comedian.
65Kish at break.
I made $15 at video poker during the break, plus a free beer, and when I cashed out, the machine gave me a $100 bill and 15 dollar bills. WTF? I'm not playing a hand in this sat again.
Down to 19. Guaranteed $15. Sweet.
Winner winner chicken dinner.
Dunno what day I'm playing yet.
Update coming on Saturday. I'm thinking about sitting out day 1 to make day 2.
JDN
12.04.2008
Bellagio 2K
The bellagio's clocks seem to be 10 minutes slow. So I spend that time discussing the pros and cons of the pirate vs ninja debate with Brian Devonshire and Tiffany Michelle. I'm a ninjaman myself where as they're pirate peeps.
Table 48 Seat 1 (I hate seat 1)
6K in chips to start with hour levels. I likey.
Table draw:
Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: rwg drinking an O'douls
Seat 3: random skinny white guy with a Bengals hat. That's pretty much means he a masochist. He also kinda looks like a healthy Darrel Dicken.
Seat 4: rwg whose jowls jiggle when he's nervous.
Seat 5: rwg
Seat 6: rwg with a mercedes hat on. I would bet that he doesn't own a mercedes. Judging by his play, there's no way he has one. He skipped the chapter on betting and pretty much just throws two over sized chips out whenever he bets.
Seat 7: rwg
Seat 8: rwg with a saftey orange colored hat on. I saw him talking to Alex Jacob in the registration line so I will assume that he's got some game because "The Fro" doesn't associate with donks.
Seat 9: rowg. I've played with him before but I can't remember if he's any good. Probably not.
It's pretty rare to play a bellagio tourney and not know anyone at my table.
My read on the mercedes guy was right on. He busts 25 mins into the first level. Oops. He's replaced by Can Kim Hua.
Now there's a familiar face and I can just imagine that's he's gonna come out firing. Aaaaand he does.
It cost him half his stack in his first orbit to the kid in the orange hat. Double good read on my part.
Still in the first level with blinds at 25/50, the old broham in seat 9 limps in earlish position. I looked down at 22 and throw my 50 in. It's called by a couple other guys too.
The flop falls A 2 5. The old dude leads out and I briefly consider raising before just calling. Everyone else get out of the way and I call again on the Q turn.
I really put him on A5 here. He would raise with a AT or higher and don't think he's going to limp with AA or AK. The possibility of 55 comes up but I quickly dismiss it because set under set doesn't happen that often.
The river is a T and be bets 1K. It's immpossible for him to have KJ here so I raise him to 2500. He quickly calls and shows 55. G'damn!! That was my first live flopped set in at least a month.
Lucky for me he's one of those old guys that always thinks he's beat and he didn't reraise me.
Can Kim Hua bust shortly there after and he's replaced by fuckwit. The first thing fuckwit says is that he cracks Allen Kesslar's aces with 7s. Now how bad of a player do you have to be if you call Allen's all in preflop with 7s? Pretty damn bad.
3250 going into the second level.
Fuckwit keeps things moving at the table by raising the first 7 hands he saw. I saw him limp under the gun with T2 and raise early with 86. So basically he's never seen a hand he didn't like.
Sooooo I'm on the big blind and seat 5 limps, fuckwit raises to 400 and gets call by the old guy in seat 9, myself and seat 5. I've got 4d4s. The flop comes 2h 5s 8h. Check check check and fuckwit bets 1K. Old dude folds and I push in for a hair less than 4K. Seat 5 thinks about it for a while, probably with the best hand, before folding. Fuckwit counts out the chips and says, "I feel lucky." Fuuuuuuck. He's got a 5. I show my 44 and he shows 45. Bah!
I hate the Bellagio.
JDN
Table 48 Seat 1 (I hate seat 1)
6K in chips to start with hour levels. I likey.
Table draw:
Seat 1: jdn
Seat 2: rwg drinking an O'douls
Seat 3: random skinny white guy with a Bengals hat. That's pretty much means he a masochist. He also kinda looks like a healthy Darrel Dicken.
Seat 4: rwg whose jowls jiggle when he's nervous.
Seat 5: rwg
Seat 6: rwg with a mercedes hat on. I would bet that he doesn't own a mercedes. Judging by his play, there's no way he has one. He skipped the chapter on betting and pretty much just throws two over sized chips out whenever he bets.
Seat 7: rwg
Seat 8: rwg with a saftey orange colored hat on. I saw him talking to Alex Jacob in the registration line so I will assume that he's got some game because "The Fro" doesn't associate with donks.
Seat 9: rowg. I've played with him before but I can't remember if he's any good. Probably not.
It's pretty rare to play a bellagio tourney and not know anyone at my table.
My read on the mercedes guy was right on. He busts 25 mins into the first level. Oops. He's replaced by Can Kim Hua.
Now there's a familiar face and I can just imagine that's he's gonna come out firing. Aaaaand he does.
It cost him half his stack in his first orbit to the kid in the orange hat. Double good read on my part.
Still in the first level with blinds at 25/50, the old broham in seat 9 limps in earlish position. I looked down at 22 and throw my 50 in. It's called by a couple other guys too.
The flop falls A 2 5. The old dude leads out and I briefly consider raising before just calling. Everyone else get out of the way and I call again on the Q turn.
I really put him on A5 here. He would raise with a AT or higher and don't think he's going to limp with AA or AK. The possibility of 55 comes up but I quickly dismiss it because set under set doesn't happen that often.
The river is a T and be bets 1K. It's immpossible for him to have KJ here so I raise him to 2500. He quickly calls and shows 55. G'damn!! That was my first live flopped set in at least a month.
Lucky for me he's one of those old guys that always thinks he's beat and he didn't reraise me.
Can Kim Hua bust shortly there after and he's replaced by fuckwit. The first thing fuckwit says is that he cracks Allen Kesslar's aces with 7s. Now how bad of a player do you have to be if you call Allen's all in preflop with 7s? Pretty damn bad.
3250 going into the second level.
Fuckwit keeps things moving at the table by raising the first 7 hands he saw. I saw him limp under the gun with T2 and raise early with 86. So basically he's never seen a hand he didn't like.
Sooooo I'm on the big blind and seat 5 limps, fuckwit raises to 400 and gets call by the old guy in seat 9, myself and seat 5. I've got 4d4s. The flop comes 2h 5s 8h. Check check check and fuckwit bets 1K. Old dude folds and I push in for a hair less than 4K. Seat 5 thinks about it for a while, probably with the best hand, before folding. Fuckwit counts out the chips and says, "I feel lucky." Fuuuuuuck. He's got a 5. I show my 44 and he shows 45. Bah!
I hate the Bellagio.
JDN
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